Author Notes - Let's get this story out of its hiatus, shall we? Even though hardly anyone is reading it, I don't care and I refuse to have a modern fanfic of mine go completely unfinished. THIS ONE WILL BE FINISHED ONE DAY, DAMNIT! I don't know why I started writing this in the first place, but a quick binge-watch of the old Droids cartoon inspired me to keep writing it.

Let's go let's go! Oh, and I have apparently received a fifth favourite after all this time, so credit to H. Mara Jade for that.

CHAPTER EIGHT - EXEMPLARY

No matter how many times Teesee insisted that she would certainly not give Artoo a tour of the Starship, she inevitably gave in and decided to show him around the place. As for why she bothered to do this... the best her programming could come up with was that she just wanted to talk to an astromech again, after her actual counterpart Arfore seemingly disappeared years ago.

It helped that Artoo was nothing like the rowdy yet overly-complacent organics she was so fed up with. He was genuinely curious, albeit itching to find his 'friend'.

'Zwurrr boop?'

Teesee may have been sick of answering questions, but this adorable astromech was certainly an exception.

'What's with the paths, you ask?'

No doubt he was referring to the paths that the organics were seemingly forced to walk over. Supposedly, any wanderers would be punished, but not only did Teesee not care anymore but people very rarely broke the rule anyway.

'Can I be honest? I have no idea. And I have it programmed into me. When this Starship was built, the original 'higher-up' - who was above even Captain Solo - demanded complete order. If you ask me, it was just a way to control them at all times. And the best part? It worked!' She shook her head at the organics in line. 'Just look at them. They're acting just like... like...'

'Mreepas?'

'What? Acting like droids? You... unfortunately are correct. And they look down on us...'

'Pleep?'

Teesee stopped in her path, so abruptly that Artoo bonked right into her. They had stopped near what appeared to be one of the many cantinas, which (like all the others) did not allow droids. It even had a big 'NO DROIDS ALLOWED' sign.

'Wow, Artoo.' Teesee remarked. 'Just how sheltered were you?'

'Bwooo brap...'

Teesee stared in shock for a few seconds. 'Seven... seven hundred years? Okay, that explains it. You see Artoo, our kind isn't all that loved by the organics around here. You see that sign?'

She pointed to that big sign hanging by the cantina. Multiple organics gave them both dirty looks.

'Wuh? Tweet skreet.'

'Exactly. If I even asked if I could enter... BOOM, memory wipe. The routine wipes are to ensure we don't become independent thinkers. Which, obviously, only works for so long. Come a few years and they'll be surprised that I'm back to snarking at their expense.'

'Weee twoop?'

'You saying that Protocol droids aren't usually well-versed in sarcasm? Please. Six million forms of communication, and you think sarcasm isn't one of them.'

'Wuh... bippa pleep.'

'Yeah, well, that's Threepio we're talking about. He wouldn't understand sarcasm if it was programmed into every one of his circuits.'

The nearby organics glared at them, with that 'can you just shut up' look shared between all of them. Teesee gave them all a look impossible to identify from her blank face, tempted to give the lot of them lewd gestures that were absolutely against protocol.

'Twebba fwoot.'

'Oh, gee, you think? I just sound bitter? You're very observant.'

'Wuh... tweert zwurr skreep.'

'You-! You think I'm just ranting because I don't really care to go around this forsaken ship? ... Never mind, you actually are observant.'

Artoo couldn't help but 'think' about her personality, mostly about how it was totally different from his golden friend. It entertained him how one Protocol droid could be timid and polite, while the other could be sarcastic as all get-out.

'Bip bwooo mreep?'

'Oh yeah. We're moving on. I'm not standing around here much longer.'

As if responding to that very comment, an organic inside the cantina threw their cup at the back of her head. Wine poured down her back. Aside from flinching slightly when the cup made contact, Teesee didn't react to it at all. The astromech could only assume that the poor thing was used to this by now.

'Yeah, we're definitely leaving.'

Teesee proceeded to walk away, without even glancing back to Artoo. Not that he could blame her; if that occurrence was regular, he'd act like that too.

The silver Protocol droid brought him over to the middle of the glorious mall, which was almost entirely empty thanks to none of those lines coming near this spot. All they did was circle around it and pay the pool no mind. Both droids took a moment to appreciate this quiet, clean place.

'Everything's so much cleaner when there's no organics around to litter carelessly.'

Suddenly, Artoo stopped. He bore witness to something shiny. Not the same shiny of his golden friend, but still beautiful nonetheless. He approached the edge of what appeared to be a perfectly round pit, and carefully leaned over.

'Wooooo...'

What was that... bizarre stuff filling up that pit? It was some sort of clear, uh, thing, but it wasn't solid like glass either. It reflected the lights above it perfectly, and its surface was covered in little ripples that constantly moved.

'What... what are you doing? Just staring at the water?'

Oh, so that's what 'water' was!

'Woooo!'

'Oh, right right right. You've been on a desert planet your whole life. Of course you wouldn't know what water is.'

'Brap! Wrrp...!'

Teesee put her hands on her hips. 'Okay, you are too observant for an astromech.'

Artoo knew that, in reality, this was such a mundane thing. But even something mundane like clouds could seem fantastical for someone who had never seen them. That reflective water reminded him so much of...

'PLEEP! Twebba fwoop Twee-Pwee-Woah!'

Teesee groaned. 'Look, if you want me to find Threepio, we can't be stopping everything single time you-'

'Oh, hello Teesee-Fourteen! It has been a long time since we last interacted.'

With the introduction of another new voice, the two droids turned around. Artoo couldn't recognise the organic - beyond identifying him as a Nikto, of the green subspecies - but he was very familiar to Teesee.

'Oh no...' She muttered.

'Bip weep bwooo?'

'What? Oh, you seem to be mistaken. I actually like Mr Vozo here. He's just blatantly disobeying the rules. Again.'

Just as she stated, 'Mr Vozo' broke away from the rest of the organics. And, if his expression was any indication, not with any sort of rebelling intent in mind. Just pure innocence. Though Artoo had a hard time reading his pitch-black eyes, he seemed incredibly happy to see that silver protocol droid.

'Out of the innumerable organics I've met,' Teesee said. 'My friend here is the only one I've ever really liked.'

That innocence exuding off him somewhat explained it to Artoo why she would actually like this guy. The moment this stranger (though he was The Friend to Teesee), approached the droids, his attention fell onto Artoo.

'I see that you have a friend unfamiliar to me.' He said. 'Can you introduce me to your new friend?'

Artoo immediately noted the way he talked. He spoke like, well, a less-advanced droid. His speech came out rather stilted, as if he barely understood his own words. Not that Artoo judged him for that - it was just something a little weird.

'Oh, him? His name is Artoo-Detoo, and he wants to go to The Captain. So if you'll just let us go on our way, we'll-'

'You want to see The Captain, Artoo-Detoo? I know how to get you to him. I will take you there!'

And, without waiting for any sort of agreement, The Friend rushed off in the direction they were heading to begin with. He stopped to wave at them.

'Come on! We will not reach The Captain if we just stand here by the pool.'

Artoo looked to Teesee, who to his surprise didn't seem annoyed by The Friend's behaviour in the slightest.

'You wanna know why I like him, Artoo?'

'Bippa?'

'He's a little, um... different. And the other organics don't like him very much. They compare his behaviour to a stupid droid, which even I think is totally unfair. He's not stupid. It's just... his mind works a little differently.'

'Mreepa?'

A small moment of silence. The Friend didn't care that they were taking so long.

'I was hoping you wouldn't ask that. He, uh... he talks a little weird, as I'm sure you noticed. He struggles with humour, his emotions can be a bit extreme... that kind of thing. So don't make fun of him, okay? I have the authority to kick you into outer space.'

'Weeee-pleep!'

'Good. Now let's allow him to take us to The Captain. He likes being helpful.'

Artoo wouldn't make fun of this guy, even though he totally could considering that there was no way The Friend would understand him. With someone like him, it felt more like bullying.

'But don't patronise him either.' Teesee said as she began to go after her friend. 'That's almost as insulting.'

Like the loyal friend he was, Artoo followed the protocol droid and The Friend further into the ship. He noted The Friend's unadulterated enthusiasm to help out, as he did so with a big smile on his face and a noticeable bounce in his step. They began to approach the other organics in line, who already seemed to dislike their presence if their annoyed looks were anything to go by. The Friend looked back at Artoo every few seconds, that gigantic grin on his face not dropping once.

'Oh, how I love making new friends!' He randomly declared. 'Where have you been, Artoo-Detoo? I do not think I have ever seen you before, which is unusual since you seem to be great friends with Teesee-Fourteen.'

Artoo responded with a series of beeps that, as the droid expected, sounded like complete nonsense to the friendly organic.

'I... am afraid I do not understand droid.' He said, his smile fading away slightly.

'It's a long story, Master Vozo.' Teesee said, an annoyed tone that he completely missed seeping into her voice.

'Ooo, I like long stories!'

'Well, this one is rather complicated. Look, all you need to know is that Artoo has been - let's say - sheltered his whole life, until very recently. And he has a friend of his he'd really like to meet. I'm sure you've seen a golden protocol droid around.'

The Friend grinned. 'I know See-Threepio! He is the droid who was there since the beginning! I like him, even though he does not know when to stop talking.'

Artoo emitted some agitated beeps to himself. As friendly as this Nikto was, he too did not seem to know when to stop talking. But who was he to complain? Compared to all the other organics, this guy was perhaps too friendly.

'I have not seen Threepio that often. I will admit!' The Friend continued. 'But we once talked for about a minute, and I learnt so much about him! I get along with him much better than I do-'

'GET OUTTA MY WAY!'

The Friend had stepped backwards a little too close to the other organics, and a Human shoved him to the floor. The Nikto fell flat on his face, but despite what the Human just did to him he still gave her a smile.

'Oh, hello there!' He greeted as he waved. 'I think you may have accidentally pushed me to the floor. Would it be possible for you to not repeat this mistake again?'

The Human responded with a gesture that Artoo did not recognise. Then again, any kind of gesture would be unknown to anyone if they spent seven centuries away from everyone else. Teesee, however, certainly did recognise it.

'Okay, now that was just uncalled for!' She said. 'Guy gives you a friendly greeting, and you do that?'

The Human just rolled her eyes and continued down those bizarre designated paths. The Friend got to his feet, and waved her away with a smile on his face. Now, the actions of organics rarely made sense to a droid, but that was something else.

'Wuh?'

'Don't ask me.' Teesee replied. 'My friend here is a bit innocent, and I try my hardest to keep it that way. Yes, he's annoying, but I need his optimism if I am to get through this awful job.'

If Artoo had any real eyes to roll, he would've done so. As it was, he could only mutter irritated beeping sounds. You can only imagine what 'irritated beeping' sounded like.

'Look,' Teesee said. 'We best hurry up. If we take any longer, we'll never find See-Threepio!'

'I can get you there very quickly!' The Friend said, still unaware that Teesee already knew what she was doing. 'Let us hurry so we can get there before anything bad potentially happens.'

Artoo didn't really care who was leading the way, as long as they knew what they were doing. And, considering that she literally had the layout of the ship programmed into her, Teesee no doubt knew. As for The Friend, Artoo couldn't be so sure. He couldn't be sure if The Friend knew anything.

Still, the trio travelled through the gigantic and magnificent ship until they arrived at the very end of this grand hall after what felt like hours. They arrived at the base of what appeared to be an elevator, one that went straight up to a lookout high above the ground.

'This is the way to your friend, See-Threepio!' The Friend said, dancing around the elevator for some reason. 'If you have clearance, you can ride this elevator to where your friend is. I do not have clearance, so I cannot help you, but I am certain that my friend Teesee-Fourteen knows!'

Teesee sighed. 'Yes, I do have clearance. It wouldn't be very good for my job if I didn't.'

Artoo slammed his foot into the floor. 'Mrippa-WOOO!'

'I UNDERSTAND! You're getting impatient, because this is kind of serious. Just give me a few seconds, okay?'

Teesee was just about to open the elevator door for all her 'friends' - that word was a slight stretch - when everyone noticed that the elevator was already coming down. Everyone backed away from it as it opened up, revealing…

'UNHAND ME AT ONCE!' Threepio yelled, pushing against the bigger droid's grip. 'THIS IS NOT HOW YOU TREAT A FELLOW DROID.'

The big custom-made droid continued to drag him around, ignoring the astromech chirping at her. 'This is the protocol. You should know a thing or two about that, seeing as you are a protocol droid.'

'But I am not damaged! Or faulty! Or ANYTHING of the sort! You must-!'

Threepio's characteristic complaining came to a stop when he saw Artoo, a droid he had never expected to see again. If his eyes could widen, they would've widened so far that the mini light bulbs would've all fallen out. He was so shocked to see his astromech friend that he stopped struggling, which allowed Elthree to take him away even quicker.

'Artoo? Oh, Artoo, it really is you!' He cried. 'I thought I'd never see you again! Now, if you don't mind… HELP ME!'

'Tweep-eepa?'

'No, I cannot help myself! I'm just a protocol droid. WHAT ARE YOU EXPECTING?'

Artoo was about ready to roll to his friend's rescue, before The Friend stepped in for him.

'I do not understand what you are doing to See-Threepio.' He said, out of confusion more than anything. 'While I do not specialise in droids, I also do not believe that he is in any way defective. Only defective droids get carried out so violently, though I do not believe they should be.'

Elthree hardly paid them any attention, and simply carried the screaming Threepio away into a room that only opened up once she jabbed her astromech 'hand' into it.

'After her!' Teesee yelled.

You didn't need to tell Artoo twice. Whistling like a madman, he charged towards that mean old droid as fast as he could, with Teesee and The Friend right behind him.

*BONK*

Only for the door to close on him before he could go through it, resulting in him bashing his 'face' directly into it. The blue-accented astromech slammed his 'foot' into the wall in frustration.

'Tweepa-brrrt!'

'Now now, there's no need for that.' Teesee said. 'All we have to do it-'

Artoo was already on it, playing around with the 'keyhole' to crack the lock. Even if he had never seen a lock like this before, it was programmed into his very being to know how to open it. However, it was a lock he was totally unfamiliar with, so it took him a couple of seconds longer than it usually would. But that mattered not, for he managed to crack it in no time.

'WRRRRRL!'

'Ya don't say!' Teesee remarked. 'If we wanna keep up with him, we gotta go now.'

The Friend smiled. 'Oh, would you mind if I accompanied you on this adventure?'

The silver droid sighed. 'Okay, fine. But don't mess anything up!'

And so, the trio of 'friends' rushed into the door that closed right behind them, delving deep into the area boarded off from just about everyone on the ship. Artoo was never one to care too much about rules, and that certainly wasn't going to change now.

Meanwhile, in another spot of the ship…

'WEEE-WEOOO!'

Bee-Bee-Ate was beginning to get especially frustrated that he couldn't find that blue newcomer.

Author Notes - The one problem with coming back to this story after so long is that I've partially forgotten where I wanted Bee-Bee-Ate's subplot to go. Seeing as he's supposed to be the MO equivalent, that gives me a good idea. And also there's nothing wrong with making it up as I go. I'm pretty good at that, you'll find.