Konoha Nights

GaaxSaku

The Truth About Sasuke

Disclaimer: I own nothing : )

AN: Okay before you begin reading this let me just warn you now. I wrote this several times, getting to about 10 pages before deleting it all and starting again. This is by far my least favorite chapter, simply because I feel that I didn't get it right. BUT anyway, the lemon's on if you want it and don't even get me started on that. It was my first lemon EVER and I don't think I did so hot…..

This is also the most 'dark' chapter revealing a lot about Sakura's past and what she's been through and why she is the way she is.

http // www. mediaminer. org/fanfic/viewch.php/ 125526/ 437143/

I think that'll work. Just take out the spaces.

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Sakura walked in to her unlocked apartment shucking off her sandals as she went. Temari and Kankuro didn't really seem like bad people, but nowhere in the information she'd received had it ever stated that Gaara actually had a biological family. That had not been a factor when she purposely had Jiraiya and Naruto ask for Suna's best assassin. She had thought that he would have been just like all the bujii vessels, miserable and alone.

He might not be so willing to go along with what she had planned.

Making her way to her room, she pulled at the bottom drawers pulling out her stash and needles. Alcohol wasn't going to be enough tonight, but it would probably help the effects of the drugs. Rolling one of the sleeves to her kimono, she found a tie and wrapped it tightly around her upper arm before finding her vein with the needle.

This wasn't the best she'd had, but to get more she'd have to go see Kisame, something she'd rather avoid for the time being. Her body relaxed and she grabbed the bottle of sake, her cigarettes and lighter before lying on the bed. It was just another one of those nights…..the kind where her past was quickly catching up and the emotions she'd hidden were leaking through.

Lighting a cigarette she took in a drag before throwing the lighter on the carpeted floor. She only had two weeks left to convince Gaara to help her, and at this rate, it could take longer. Longer wasn't an option though, she was going to hand herself over to Akatsuki willingly in two weeks and then there would be nothing left for her to do. She would finally have her death.

A death that hadn't been achieved despite all the abuse she put her body through. No matter how many times she should have died……..the damn curse kept her here, and instead those that tried to protect her had lost their lives.

She took another drag of her cigarette as she stared at the ceiling. So many of them had died because of her, Anko, Kakashi, and Sasuke.

The memories were flooding back quickly and the unfelt tears rolled down her face. She hated herself. She hated everything that she was, and everything that had happened because of her.

She was the embodiment of sin.

Her 'creators' had never given her the chance to have a normal life, bringing her into this world cursed for all eternity. She now carried the weight of their sins with her own.

A creation from the bowels of gluttony, gluttony for power that Orochimaru so desperately seeked. His envy of those who held unlimited chakra drove him to create his perfect vessel, the one that would grant him immortality. It was too bad that his pride had kept him from taking her body, maybe then she wouldn't have had to live through the heartache she had endured. It hadn't been his lust for Tsunade's body that had driven him to her, no it had had been the lust he had for her power and how he could exploit it for his own gain. His greed only fueled his lust and now here she lay begging for her death.

She hadn't always been this way. She could confidently say that for three years out of her existence she had actually wanted to live.

Growing up with Orochimaru wasn't the best experience in the world. Emotional abuse was an everyday thing, and the occasional beating during training wasn't too pleasant either. The most traumatic part was the experiments run on her to test her strength and capability. Those test now probably wouldn't have scarred her up too bad…..but at 3 years old it didn't help her already weak self esteem, feeling different than everyone that served under 'Master Orochimaru'.

Even when he wasn't with her there were always his servants about, who feared getting too close to her because the last one who spoke to her had gotten his neck snapped in two in front of the entire staff. Kabuto tried to be nice, but his affection was often more creepy than comforting. Anko came into the scene when she was 6 and she was a breath of much needed fresh air. Sakura had only seen one or two women in the compound and one was really scary always pawning after her long locks; the other, a young red head who cursed worse than any man there.

Although she didn't have the best relationship with Anko, since she'd never really had a friend before, Anko was definitely fun to have around. She would never forget the look on Kabuto's face when she saw that she had painted Sakura's fingernails black. It wasn't but a few later when Anko managed to convince Orochimaru to let Sakura live with her off the compound and attend regular school.

She had hoped that things would finally be normal for her, but the kids seemed more withdraw once they saw Anko dropping her off one day. She never told Anko, Sakura had been the one to beg her to let her attend in the first place, so she just dealt with it happy that she was at least away from Orochimaru and away from those damn tests.

She met Naruto a few weeks later. For some reason the villagers hated him and often received disgusting looks when they would walk home. But he was always cheerful and brushed them off claiming to be their Hokage one day. He was a bit weird to her, but she supposed that she was weird to him after she told him she didn't know how to laugh. Naruto being who he was simply tickled her until she couldn't take it anymore promising to make her laugh from then on.

She learned quickly that he always kept his promises.

After just a few short weeks, they became fast friends and Sakura learned what it was like to have a real friend. A boy by the name of Sasuke transferred to their school shortly after. It was rumored that he was the sole survivor of the Uchiha clan that had been murdered brutally. The rest of the students pitied him and found his cold exterior to be intimidating, but Naruto found him interesting. So somehow or another they all became close friends.

They all had a common bond.

They didn't fit in with anyone. Naruto was the kyuubi vessel she learned, Sasuke was the last of his clan who possessed the Sharingan, and Sakura was the biological daughter of the man who controlled a third of the city and was responsible for many shinobi deaths.

Somehow, they became each other's family, practically inseparable and Sakura couldn't have been happier.

But like all good things…… three years later when she was 9 she found out the truth behind Orochimaru letting Sakura attend school. He had wanted to link himself to Sasuke and study him. The most hurtful thing of all was that just a month after meeting Sasuke, he agreed to becoming Orochimaru's new vessel, to attain enough power to kill his brother, the one responsible for the clan massacre. Sasuke had only been pretending to be her friend, meanwhile reporting everything she did back to him.

She confronted Sasuke, not willing to believe what Orochimaru had said, but he didn't deny it and instead showed her his curse mark. She may not have interacted with her so-called father, but she knew of his jutsu that would let him live forever and witnessed it once. Knowing that Sasuke would be lost forever, she begged him not to accept his offer, there was still time to reverse it, that he was strong enough on his own and that she and Naruto would help…..but he wouldn't listen.

It hurt that she and Naruto weren't enough to save him.

And he quickly shut them out of his life taking residence with Orochimaru to begin his training. Naruto wasn't taking it too well, but knowing that he couldn't just march in there and demand Sasuke back, he and his guardian Jiraiya-san left to train.

When Anko offered her a way out of Konoha, she took it.

She passed her on to a man by the name of Kakashi Hatake, an ANBU member who had recently quit the force. Anko then told them both of what Orochimaru had planned for her, and how he would use her to sustain himself forever. Anko had been a candidate for his new body, but once the Uchiha massacre left only one he jumped at the chance, releasing her. Listening to the truth about her birth wasn't easy to hear, but she had never once seen her mother and she wouldn't even know her name until Shizune became her guardian.

Looking down at her hand the cigarette was burning into her skin, long forgotten. She put it out on her hand opting for the sake instead. For those three years of being with Sasuke and Naruto, blissfully ignorant of the truth, she had been truly happy. And just like everything that brought her happiness Orochimaru took it all away.

The pain in her chest was becoming too great and she cursed her tears. She opened the slit of her kimono and unstrapped the kunai she had on her thigh. She pierced her wrist slightly just watching as the maroon blood slowly trickled down her arm. It was when she was like this, with her body focusing on the physical pain instead of the emotional pain, that she was finally able to forget her mistake….her curse….her damn existence.

She could forget Kakashi's lifeless body after protecting her from an attack that she would have lived through.

She could forget that she was only created for evil, as a tool, and the only one that had ever loved her the way she wanted -she betrayed.

She could forget the look on Sasuke's face when Itachi told him he'd fucked her.

She could even forget that- because of the body she had, no matter how hard she tried, she was destined to live in misery.

The blade continued on it's routinely pattern across her body. The pain started consuming her, overpowering the emotions. This was what made her happy now. The cuts she inflicted on herself were her choice, her penance, her escape. She may have been destined as a instrument for destruction, but she was never one to believe in not fighting your destiny.

She didn't live her lifestyle because found comfort in sex like Ino and Tenten. She found her comfort in the fact that she was paying off her sins with her pain, it was her choice to suffer and she deserved it. She felt her control slipping with each cut but didn't care, it was bound to happen anyway, it always did.

Her damn body was trying to preserve itself, reacting on instinct and it began healing the wounds faster than she could make them. Her senses were buzzing, her eyes changed back to the obsidian and crimson and her smell intensified. The snake tattoo on her body began to move and the smell of her blood was everywhere.

She froze midcut.

The smell of sand.

Looking over to the window, she saw Gaara leaning against the sill with his arms crossed a large gourd strapped to him.

"Tell me what you are."

She grinned letting her pink tongue dart out and lick her lips suggestively, hardly in control of her body. "I wasn't expecting you this late, Gaara."

Her voice was already an octave lower, also part of the awakening and she ignored his silence, opting to continue her torture.

"Your acts are foolish." he told her tonelessly and she involuntarily hissed.

She threw the kunai she had hitting the nearest wall and he didn't even flinch. "Just because you don't understand something, doesn't mean its foolish." she shot back lifting her arm to her mouth to lick the blood off. "I do it……because it's my choice to do so."

He snorted, looking away from her, "You make no sense."

"What a pity to hear you say that," reaching for her cigarettes she located her lighter and lit it. "I thought you of all people, would understand me."

He looked back her quirking his brow.

She answered the unasked question, "I thought you and I were kindred spirits, I thought you had suffered like I had...I didn't know you actually belonged somewhere."

She took a longer drag from her cigarette, blowing the smoke in his direction, "I cut myself because I deserve it, it's my penance for all of my sins."

"That's truly idiotic."

Laughing bitterly she put out her cigarette on her palm, "What? I don't look damned enough for you? Do I still look so fucking innocent that you can't see what I really am!" Her anger was quickly rising it was getting harder to control her words.

"And just what are you?"

Locking eyes with him, she felt the slits in her eyes grow, "I'm a monster."

"Explain yourself," he said coldly, reaching back to pull the cork from his gourd, ready for anything like the great shinobi he was.

"I'm an abominable monster that deserves to die………I've killed, I cause pain, I betrayed the one I loved, and I will betray the ones that love me now." She took one last drag of her cigarette before putting it out on the wall, sighing her eyes and voice returned to what their normal tone and hue.

"The one person that ever cared for me like I wanted….was Sasuke." Her silence dragged on before she sighed again trying not to stumble over her words.

"Two years ago, Orochimaru's bastards found out where I was working. Naturally, that asshole sent Sasuke to retrieve me so that he wouldn't draw the attention of Akatsuki. What started out as Sasuke trying to convince me to go voluntarily turned into something else. For a whole week we spent every waking moment together, it felt like I had never left and he had never joined Orochimaru. Sasuke told me he no longer wanted to become his next vessel…….and that he missed me……." She laughed bitterly.

"We planned our escape from Konoha, the feelings I had for him as a child returned and I clinged to the hope that we would be able to be together. The night we were suppose to escape, Sasuke never showed. I couldn't believe that he had betrayed me, that all of those nights had meant nothing to him, so I still held hope that he would come for me. Instead, Itachi Uchiha showed up that night."

She clenched her fist tightly, "He said that Sasuke had betrayed me and had been toying with me all along, planning to hand me over to Orochimaru as soon as I left the safety of the central part of the city. I blindly defended Sasuke not believing for a moment that he could have lied to me again……..Itachi left that night and I wouldn't see him again for a whole month."

Releasing the fist she instead flexed her fingers, "As you can imagine, Sasuke never showed up, and as the days turned into weeks I finally accepted that he was still under Orochimaru's control. After all I'd seen the curse mark he still wore, his trust record wasn't exactly all that great either, so I plunged myself into my self-made hell. When Itachi showed up a month later I was so wasted I didn't even bother stopping his advances." She shrugged her shoulder.

"Couldn't exactly call it rape if you never said no….hell I didn't even know what was going on until it was too late. The only thing I remember was the emotional and physical pain I felt that night had never been so great………and I'd never felt more alive. Fucked up as hell- but alive. Sasuke showed up that same night while Itachi was still there. Apparently, we'd fallen into one of Akatsuki's traps, they had been conspiring against us the whole time. The night Sasuke was suppose to come and meet me, Deiadra and Sasori intercepted him and told them I'd joined Akatsuki. Maybe his trust in me wasn't that great either because he believed them and had been surveying their part of the city for last month in search of me, ultimately following Itachi to my room."

She reached for the sake bottle and found it empty, "I will never forget the look on his face when he'd found out what I'd done, and he'd told me he'd never be able to forgive me for being with the man he'd sworn to kill. He didn't care that he'd believed in their lies as well and we'd both been deceived, to him I was the traitor and he wanted nothing more to do with me."

Dropping her head, she let her bangs fall to cover her face. "After that, things just sort of blurred by for me, it was like I was there just not living. I don't remember much, except that I started taking clients soon after Itachi dropped by again to inform me that Sasuke had given over his body to Orochimaru."

She reached under her bangs to wipe at the moisture that had collected there, her voice gained more assurance, "I know that the information Naruto gave you doesn't match up, but he still refuses to believe that he's lost his surrogate brother. He's in denial so he hasn't told anyone the truth yet, not even Hinata, he just can't accept the fact that he's lost to us now because of me."

She sighed reaching into her kimono to unstrap her last kunai. Twirling it in her fingers, she said nothing for a while, letting the silence envelop them. Green chakra seemed through her skin before disappearing all together, she rose from the bed, lifting her head in the process revealing the crimson eyes had returned. Her voice was more resonant than before, "Let's end this Gaara, kill me. I've waited five fucking years for you, so don't you dare hesitate."

He didn't.

The sand shot out briskly and in a large quantity instantly pinning her to the wall. He advanced on her quickly and the sand starting closing in tighter and he walked to stand in front of her. He looked angry and confused.

"What do you mean five years?" he hissed.

She smirked.

"Gaara…….I know this isn't the best you can do." She let her green chakra leak out again forming a shield around her body before putting some in her hands and punching her way out.

The sand fell to the floor around them and his anger was evident. This time only a hand of sand snaked around her body before finding her throat. "Kill me Gaara……or at least try to." she purred, "Otherwise I won't tell you a damn thing about why you're really here."

The hand tightened around her and she closed her eyes before shaking her head. "That won't do it," she gasped out. The sand started sliding back towards her covering her entire lower half.

"Sabaku k-

"That attack won't work on me, try something stronger," she challenged never letting her eyes leave his. He responded by finishing the attack anyway.

"Sabaku Kyuu."

If it wasn't for the sand that was holding her in place, her crushed legs wouldn't have been able to hold her. Immediately her chakra started bleeding out repairing the damage done, she shook her head looking towards her ceiling, "Damn...I hate being right."

He stood closer, "So you want to die just because you and Uchiha betrayed other? That's the dumbest thing you've said all-night."

"You wouldn't understand, it's not just that…it's everything."

Taking his hand, he forced her to look at him. "Try me."

She opened her eyes, "You can't understand because you have a family, you belong somewhere…..you're not just a tool, you weren't just created because someone sought after the closest thing to immortality there ever was. Don't you get it? Everything that has happened to me has been because of that bastard! No one loved me, people feared me, I was an outcast because people thought I was just associated with him. Hell! If people found out I was his biological child I would have been targeted a long time ago! The one person," she forced her tears back.

"The one person that cared for me like that is dead now… and it's because of me…..meanwhile I'm still alive and can't fucking die! I never wanted this life Gaara…..I never ASKED to be born. I never wanted to have those around me die and suffer because of my damn existence."

The tears leaked out of her eyes, "I don't want to live, because by me living I'm letting him win. If I live and somehow he captures me that will ensure that he will live on, there's no way that I can fight against him if he takes Sauske's form. My death is the only thing I have that I can say was my choice. And in a way, I think that it'll atone for all the people who lost their lives because of me."

She met his eyes and was astounded to see that they not his, but of the bujii within him. "You stupid woman." his breathing was become more labored and he reached towards the tattoo on his head.

"Do you really think that because I have biological siblings I had a real family? I too was created for the sole purpose of destruction. My father didn't want another son, he already had Kankuro, he desired power and the Shukaku was only a way of ensuring that no one would rise against him. Did you know that my own father tried to have me assassinated before I even knew what that word meant?"

She said nothing as her crimson eyes searched his.

"My own mother cursed me as she died. Kankuro and Temari hated me for being the reason they lost her. That asshole of a father couldn't even look at me for a while because he said I looked like the woman who bore me. Family?" he sneered, "I have never had anyone in my life other than myself. I only live for myself and exist for myself, every decision I make is mine alone, to benefit me. Stop feeling sorry for yourself," he let the sand drop away from her and he replaced it with his hands on her shoulders, pinning her tightly to the wall with his own body.

"You've killed people? So what, so have I, people die and you tarnish the memory of those that died for you by doing this."

Her skin started glowing green again stinging his hands, "Let me go."

"No," he said firmly pushing her more firmly to the wall, "You're going to listen to what I have to say…and then you're going to answer some of my questions."

"Stop it," she hissed letting more chakra bleed out, "its poison, you'll die," she said worriedly, her eyes were alternating between emerald and red.

"The Shukaku within me won't let me be killed so easily," he said leaning in dangerously close noses brushing against each other and she smiled deviously, here eyes stayed crimson. "There's no antidote to my poison Gaara and no bujii can save you….because it's the poison of a bujii that flows within me."

He opened his mouth in response but she grabbed his arms and pulled her two him her lips meeting his and she felt him stiffen.

Retaliating against her intrusion, he pushed her back harder against the wall, her head making contact. "I never said you could touch me," he said dangerously, the amber eyes of the bujii becoming more dominant.

With a shaky hand she reached around his arm caressing the tattoo on his forehead, "You never said I couldn't." she coaxed. He didn't pull away, but didn't lean into her touch either, just continued to watch her suspiciously.

"I don't want your pity," he said coldly.

"That's not why I'm doing this," she said almost soothingly. When she went to try to kiss him he slammed her back again.

Sighing deeply she used her other hand to cup his face, running her thumb against his smooth cheek. "Give me what I want Gaara……..and I'll give you any information you want," his eyes narrowed.

She tried again, "I'll even tell you the truth about why you're really here."

"Your bribes won't work on me," he answered back his face hovering over hers, "I don't do anything unless I want to," he said before forcefully pressing his mouth on hers.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EDITED OUT OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

His damp forehead rested above her breast and his heavy breaths tickled her sensitive body. Feeling her chakra recede quickly and her body return to normal, she reluctantly unwrapped her legs from around him, standing shakily when the sand holding her hands captive released her.

He pulled away, his somewhat hard member slid out of her and she felt the emptiness return. He met her gaze and she watched as his eyes went from amber back to their aquamarine shade. The confidence and aggressiveness he'd just expressed to her gone and instead looked thoroughly confused. Brushing his damp hair back from around the kanji she suddenly felt like comforting him. "Um…..the bathroom is over there if you need to clean up."

He blinked twice before looking down slowly and saw he wasn't quite back in his pants yet. After adjusting his clothes, he nodded towards her before making his way towards the bathroom. Sakura allowed herself a smile; after all, it wasn't like he could see her struggling to laugh at his 'what the fuck did I just do' expression.

She wondered if that had been the first time he'd let his demon come out when having sex. Judging by his reaction, it probably had been. The giddiness she felt from her orgasm, as well as her new discovery gave her the energy to make it to the cold mattress laying on it face up she let it cool her sweaty body. She could hear the shower going and she hoped there was hot water left when he finished. It was somewhat weird for him to still be here in the first place….and then having him use her hot water….well it wasn't like she could get mad she offered it to him first.

Although that didn't mean they couldn't share, right?

Sitting up she pulled the last chopstick lost in her tangled hair and then stood to take off the shredded obi. Apparently, he'd been as much of a hurry as she had. Peeling the kimono off her sweaty form, she used it to clean the mess on her thighs then threw it to the corner of the room. She needed to buy a new one anyway. Walking towards the bathroom she wondered how many people had watched the free show they'd given since they hadn't even bothered to move away from near the window.

Shrugging she slid the door open and walked into the steamy bathroom.

Maybe the Shakaku would come out to play again, she thought deviously before closing the door behind her.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAnother one bites the dust.OOOOOO

AN: Yes I'm not done complaining.

I hope this didn't seem like, 'oh we had sex let's be boyfriend girlfriend and I trust you with all my heart' because that's not how it's going to go. Trust me they haven't forgotten who they are or what they're about. It was just sort of a break and don't worry, self assured bad ass Gaara will be back in the next chapter and demanding information….

If I can keep them from having sex in the shower. sweatdrop

Anyway, reviews are always loved.

If you hated this chapter, eh, just wait till the next one. It'll be better ; )

OHOH OH OH and the attack Gaara did was his sand coffin one, forgot to translate : )

That's it!