A/N: Next bit up! I'll be no one saw this coming!

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New York City in October was a fairly pleasant place but none of the Misfits found that they could enjoy it. As upset as they were over Lina's abduction they barely even noticed their surroundings. The Mass Device could have just as easily sent them to Kabul, save for the fact that there would be slightly less angry people wanting to kill them.

The death glares they received from the people they could and did ignore. What they couldn't ignore was the fact that they were completely and utterly lost.

"What do you mean you don't know where we are?" Althea demanded of Shipwreck. "This is the last time I leave the map in your hands!"

"Which in retrospect was a pretty dumb thing to do." Lance said blithely, prompting Althea to stomp on his foot.

"Hey, I'll have you know that I'm a skilled and accomplished navigator!" Shipwreck said. "Why, one time I sailed all the way from Boston to Lisbon using only a compass!"

"That would be more impressive if it weren't for the fact that you were supposed to go from Boston to New York!" Cover Girl interjected.

"Well, we're here now, aren't we?" Shipwreck said.

"Shipwreck, that mission was over a decade ago." Roadblock groaned.

"So I'm a great navigator but my timing stinks?"

"Arggh, give me that!" Althea growled as she snatched the map out of her father's hands. "Where do you think we are?"

"Right there." Shipwreck pointed. Althea followed his finger and blinked.

"Dad, that's the little emblem for 'Here Be Monsters.' " She groaned.

"Well, am I wrong?" Shipwreck said as he jerked his thumb over his shoulder at the rest of the Misfits, particularly at Wanda who was maiming Pietro over some matter best left unmentioned.

"I plead the Fifth." Althea sighed. "Come on, let's just find this mutant and go home."

"Agreed. I'm not exactly loving this place." Shane muttered.

"Don't you just love East Coast, West Coast rivalries?" Wanda said dryly.

"About as much as the NYPD would love me." Shane replied.

"I think we're near the place where Arcade's machine picked up that police transmission." Low Light said. "I just wish Spyder and Trinity could've come with us."

"Yeah, rotten luck that they came down with the flu." Shipwreck said. A more suspicious or clever minded man may have stopped to wonder at just why it was that Spyder and Trinity just happened to get sick or punished or whatnot and end up missing their recent missions like this. But Shipwreck wasn't, so he didn't.

The Misfits looked up and down the street they were on. There was a Chinese resturant, a souvenir store, a music shop, and an electronics shop. "So how do we know our guy when we find him?" Pietro asked.

"Or girl." Angelica added.

"Well, Xi's got a pretty good instinct when it comes to finding mutants, even without actually touching them." Blind Master said. "He should be able to let us know when we're close."

"I don't sense anything that says 'mutant' to me." Xi said, "But this area does give off a strange feeling. Something that's not quite normal…"

"It's probably my stomach." Toad said. "I've been trying to get Fred to eat something so much I ended up missing breakfast today. And lunch."

"I wasn't going to say anything but I'm getting hungry too." Lance said.

"Why don't we grab some Chinese?" Althea suggested. "I'll go take a look in that electronics shop to see if I can find something to make my sisters feel better. They like new electronic equipment."

"We'll meet back here in five." Roadblock said as they split up. Heading into the restaurant the earned some dark stares and mutterings, but no one had the guts to do anything.

"Really with Freddy was here." Toad sighed. "He loves Chinese food."

"Toad, Fred loves all food." Shane pointed out.

"That's not true!" Lance said. "He doesn't like…uh, he doesn't like—"

"Anything Kitty makes." Wanda finished.

"I said food, not 'horrible inedible crap that can't be legally recognized as food.' " Shane replied.

"You have a point." She admitted.

"Well, Fred's really upset about Lina." Angelica sighed. "I can't blame him. Do you think that the Hellions are…?" She couldn't finish and no one else cared to.

"They better be treating her okay." Wanda growled. "Or else they and the prisoner back at base are gonna have to deal with me!"

"I'm sure they are." The waiter said as he dropped off their food.

"Well we want to think so—hey, wait a minute! How would you know?" Shipwreck asked. The waiter smiled.

"Hello!" Vladimir said as he powered up. "Enjoy your meal!" He blasted the plate he just delivered, coating the Misfits with bits and pieces of Chinese food. "I've always wanted to do that." He grinned as he took off.

"GET HIM!" Lance yelled as Vladimir ran out the door.

"Hey check out my fortune!" Toad said as he grabbed a fluttering piece of paper that had been released when a fortune cookie was blown up. " 'You will have a great surprise today.' Freaky, huh?"

"Shut up!" Wanda snapped. The Misfits and Joes ran outside to find Vladimir and the rest of the Hellions waiting outside for them.

"What are you doing here?" Roadblock demanded.

"Well I came here to show solidarity for transit workers that went on strike, but when I saw you guys here I figured I could kill two birds with one stone." Vladimir said, not giving any indication that Phelan—even while he was the Joes prisoner—was still a valuable conduit of information.

"What have you done with Lina?" Cover Girl asked, her voice low and deadly. Vladimir shrugged.

"What have you done with Side-Splitter?" He asked rhetorically. "Shall we do the gratuitous fight scene now?"

"You have no idea what gratuitous means." Wanda snarled. "But you will once I'm through!"

"Me first!" Pietro said as he ran ahead swiftly running around the Hellions in a dizzying display of pure speed…that was completely ruined when Forceflow simply used his telekinesis to lift Pietro off the ground. "Aww, no fair! I hate telekinetics!"

"Ditto!" Wanda said as she hexed the distracted Forceflow. Pietro fell to the ground.

"OW! Watch it!" Pietro said, rubbing his sore behind.

"I was." Wanda smirked.

"Watch this." Vladimir muttered as he nearly took Wanda's head off with an energy blast.

Toad tried to slime Evasia, who nimbly jumped aside, leaving some random bystanders covered in green slime. Megawatt tried to electrocute Lance, who responded by tearing up the street they were fighting in, thus ensuing even worse traffic jams than usual in New York City.

Xi and Metatak went at it with hammers and tongs before deciding that it would be much more efficient, to say nothing of being less silly, if they just used swords instead. Shane and Vladimir spent a good five minutes exchanging fire with each other before the ex-gang leader was taken out by a quick to the head, curtsey of Evasia.

"Don't tell me you started the party without me." Althea said as she stepped out of the electronics shop she had been in.

"Just waiting on you." Vladimir smiled as he prepared to blast her.

"Stop! What are you doing?" The owner of the shop, a short, elderly Chinese man exclaimed. "You'll wreck my store! And the whole neighborhood!"

"Nice to know where you're priorities are." Vlad drawled, shaking his head. "The petty-bourgeoisie, is there anything more annoying?"

"Yeah, you!" A voice shouted from above, accompanied by a blast of fire.

Vladimir leaped to the side, nearly barbecued alive. "What the—!" He shouted as he looked up. He jaw dropped. "You've got to be kidding me!"

"Same here." Lance blinked as he looked up. "Is that a—?"

"Yup." Althea said. "It is."

"Yo whazzup homes!" The red dragon grinned. "The American Dragon is in the hizzae!"

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A/N: I TOLD you no one would see it coming. 