RIOT AT SKY HIGH!
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"Why couldn't we just take the Mass Device?" Lance groaned as he sank into his seat.
"Because…" Althea said, gritting her teeth from the G-Forces, "The Hellions damaged it in their last bombardment of the Pit."
The Misfits took off for Sky Academy as soon as they heard the news from their captive. They brought the entire team for this one, including Spyder and Trinity. They were traveling in a most unusual manner.
…by flying school bus.
"You know." Todd said. "School would've been a lot more fun if our buses could fly."
"I think I'd rather walk." Wanda said. "Or at least have taken the X-Jet."
"You know I keep expecting Miss Frizzle to show up and announce what field trip we're on." Fred noted.
"This isn't the Magic School Bus, you dope." Shane muttered. He looked out the window. "Man, would you look at that?" Everyone turned to look out the window, save Lance who was too busy trying not to hurl.
There it was, hovering over the clouds as if it were simply a normal school. Of course, it wasn't.
"Welcome to Sky High." The bus driver Ron Wilson said as they landed.
"Land!" Lance exclaimed as he tore out of the bus and hugged the ground.
"Would it be too much to ask that you not humiliate us like that?" Althea asked. "Would it?"
Lance glared at her. "Fine. Next time we're stuck in a desert far away from any water, I'll remind you about this."
"Settle down you clowns." Roadblock said. "Here comes someone to tell us what's going down."
A dignified looking woman walked over to the Misfits. She had an air of someone with great power and authority and was not afraid to use it. She also had a no nonsense attitude. In short, she was a school principal.
"I am Principal Powers." She said by way of introduction. "While I appreciate your warning of trouble, I do have to wonder if it was truly necessary for you to come yourselves."
"It's no trouble." Shipwreck said, completely misunderstanding her. "No trouble at all…" He repeated, staring at her.
"My eyes are up here." Powers said, growling slightly. Althea smacked Shipwreck.
"No hitting on the teachers Pop!"
"No hitting your pop, kid!" Shipwreck shot back.
"The Hellions are no laughing matter." Roadblock said to Principal Powers, over the bickering between Althea and Shipwreck. "They're as unpredictable as the Mad Hatter!"
"Have you ever considered teaching English?" Powers asked him. "At any rate, we are more than capable of handling ourselves."
"A little more help never hurt." Roadblock said stubbornly.
"Oh?" Powers asked, raising her eyebrow questioningly. "Then the…reputation the Misfits have for chaos and destruction is without merit?" Roadblock winced.
"Well…" He said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. Principal Powers sighed.
"You've might as well tour the campus." She said reluctantly. "Sending you back after coming all this way would be rude." Powers looked at a sad looking man heading inside the school. "Mr. Boy!"
"Mr. Boy?" Shane snickered. The other Misfits were trying not to crack up.
"Yes Principal Powers?" He said eagerly.
"These," Powers said with much forbearance. "Are the Misfits. Feel free to show them around the school. I'll be in my office…consulting my lawyers." She said under her breath.
"Right! No problem! You can count on me!" Mr. Boy said.
"I'm sure." Powers said as she walked away. The little man waved at the Misfits.
"Hello! I'm All-American Boy! But you can just call me Mr. Boy." He didn't notice the subdued snickering. "I'm a teacher here and a former sidekick. Welcome to Sky High!"
"So this is an actual high school?" Angelica asked. Mr. Boy nodded.
"You betcha!" He said with an enthusiasm that was more comical than successful. "We teach our students the basics of heroing: Rescuing, costume design, how to quickly change into their costume, picking the secret identity that's right for them, getting banter down pat, getting the proper tagline…everything they need to know!"
"Yeah…" Wanda said blankly. "So you teach them how to wear their underpants on the outside?"
"And more!" Boy said obliviously. "Come on in!" Looking at each other in incomprehension, the Misfits shrugged and followed him.
"So…is everyone here a mutant or what?" Pietro asked.
"Sky High is a school for all sorts! Children of superheroes; mutants, meta-humans, mutates, super-humans, and more!"
"Is there any friction between the mutants and non-mutants?" Althea asked. "I know that the press are far more friendly to super humans like the Fantastic Four than actual mutants like us."
"Oh heavens no!" Mr. Boy said. "Why, we're all one happy family here! Oh look, here come a few of our mutant students now! Hello!" He waved. They ignored his wave.
Althea quietly scoped them out. There were five of them. All but one of them could reasonably pass for human. The one that couldn't looked like giant mass of pink wax, with all his bones and organs visible underneath his "skin," like the sort of model you could find in science kits or classrooms. The other four—three boys and one girl—were all dressed alike, in jeans and red-orange and black in alternating horizontal stripes.
They practically screamed "bad news."
"Outta the way side-kick." One of them, a tall Caucasian with blond hair sneered, as he shouldered past Mr. Boy and continued on.
"Look at the pets." Another one, a Black boy sneered to the girl, who was also African-American, though her skin was mottled like a chameleons.
"Who're you calling pets?" Shane challenged.
"What else do you call mutants who work for the army? For the humans?" The girl spat in disgust.
"Cool it." Spirit said to the Misfits, who bristled and looked like they were about to beat them senseless.
"Violence is not the solution here." The Blind Master agreed.
"Yeah…unless you count blowing up their lockers." Shipwreck said.
"Come on, let's go." The silent member of the gang, a Caucasian boy with short purplish hair cut in a vaguely Hitler-like fashion, said. "We don't want any trouble. Do we?" His voice dripped with insincerity. The five of them walked away.
"Wow, that brings back memories." Pietro said. "Hey, Toad you want to relive a few memories?"
"I'll slime their lockers, you go set up the rubber cement." Todd agreed with a grin.
"Not now." Althea told them. She hesitated. "Maybe later." Turning to Mr. Boy she demanded, "What was that side-kick remark about?"
"Well I am one." Mr. Boy corrected. "Was one. Now I teach them."
"What, back up." Lance said. "Are you telling me that you teach heroes and side-kicks?"
"Of course! What good is a hero without a side-kick?" Mr. Boy said in complete sincerity. "There are parallel curriculums for heroes and side-kicks."
"How do you know who goes where?" Angelica asked.
"We screen all the students as they come into the school…"
"Hold the phone." Pietro broke in. "Are you telling me that some guy just arbitrarily says 'You're a hero' or 'You're a sidekick' and that's that?"
"Usually he just screams 'Hero!' or 'Sidekick!' but yes." Mr. Boy said.
"How does he choose? By picking the kids with 'cool' powers to be heroes?" Spyder asked sarcastically. Boy rubbed the back of his neck.
"Well…"
"Man, that is whack!" Todd protested. "It doesn't take a genius to figure out where they would've stuck me in this stupid hero/sidekick program!"
"Yeah, that's just moronic." Wanda said. Mr. Boy flushed and mumbled something about it not being so bad before hurrying off to the gym, the Misfits following right behind.
"We're in luck! You're just in time to see the 'Save the Citizen' test!"
" 'Save the Citizen?' " Althea repeated. "What's—oh." She said as she looked. In a closed-off pitch was a hanging doll suspended over a machine with whirling serrated blades. Two students were trying to save the doll, which dropped every five seconds, while two others were trying to stop them.
"Cool!" Pietro said as the three minute timer ran out and the doll dropped into the whirring blades and was torn to shreds.
"Should I bother pointing out that the point of the exercise is to save the doll?" Todd asked.
"Probably not." Fred said.
"You LOSE!" Coach Boomer bellowed, his super voice rattling the Misfits.
"Could we try it?" Shane asked. Mr. Boy nodded.
"I don't see why not." He said as they approached the Coach. "This is Coach Boomer. Coach, these are the Misfits. They want to try out the 'Save the Citizen' test." Boomer looked at them dubiously.
"I don't know…what makes them different from the poor saps who just failed?" Boomer asked.
"Our kids can pass this little old test easy." Blind Master bragged.
"Oh yeah?" Boomer said. "Want to put your money where your mouth is?"
"You're on! Fifty bucks said ours kids will beat yours! Shipwreck said.
"Done!" Boomer agreed. "Since there are so many of you, we better make this an expanded version. Four players to a team." He decided. "If you really want to make it interesting, why don't I pick your team and you pick mine?"
"Deal!" Shipwreck nodded. "How about, those four over there?" He said, pointing to three boys and a girl. Boomer grinned.
"Ooohh…nice choices." He raised his voice. "Adams! Williams! Peace! Stronghold! Get out there!"
"You know," the girl said as they suited up. "Pointless violence and competition never…"
"Yeah yeah yeah." Boomer said tiredly. "Suck it up Williams! Now let me see…I pick, her, her, him, and…whatever that is." Boomer said, picking Wanda, Shane, Althea, and Todd in turn.
"Show them what the Misfits are made of!" Spirit ordered them.
"You heard the man." Althea grinned. "Let's go!" As the two teams suited up and moved into the field, Boomer took his usual position on the high chair.
"Misfits! You have a choice. Do you want to be the heroes or the villains?" He asked.
"I've already done the villain thing." Todd grumbled. "We'll be the heroes!"
"Fine. You have three minutes to save the citizen." A new dummy was raised above the blade machine. "Starting…NOW!" Boomer boomed.
"Let's save that citizen!" Althea shouted. "YO JOE!"
"YO JOE!" The other shouted back. Todd started hopping towards the citizen but stopped when one of the Sky High kids spat something directly in his path. The floor bubbled and fizzed as it burned.
"Acid?" Roadblock asked. "Your kid spits acid?" Boomer grinned.
"Surprised?" He chuckled. Roadblock nodded.
"Yeah. This isn't going to be pretty."
"Yo! That's my power! You copy cat!" Toad yelled. James Adams laughed.
"So? What're you gonna do about it?" He asked.
"THIS!" Todd said as he spat slime at him. Adams ducked and spat at Todd again, who retaliated in kind.
"This is so gross." The Sky High girl, Williams, said.
"Tell me about it." Wanda agreed as the two boys spat all over the place. Even the adults reached for umbrellas as it started spraying over the glass.
Two minutes were left on the timer.
"I guess I have to step in. My name is Layla Williams. Wanna see what I do?" She asked. Vines started growing and reaching out towards the Misfits.
"Great! She's a Willow clone!" Althea said. "Albeit a lot less sluty."
"I'll handle this." Shane said as he stepped forward. "Call me the weed whacker." He raised his fingers and shot energy bullets, cutting the vines.
One minute thirty seconds were left.
"I'm up next." Warren Peace growled as his arms lit on fire and he started firing at Althea and Wanda.
"A pyrokinetic huh?" Althea asked. "Well pyro, meet hydro!" The sprinkler system activated itself as Althea summoned the water to start dousing Warren.
"I'll get the citizen!" Wanda yelled as the time hit 1:00.
"If you want the citizen." Will Stronghold said as he flew in front of Wanda. "You're going to have to go through me first."
"Okay." Wanda said gamely. "Here!" She said as she started shooting hex bolts everywhere. One struck Will full on and he started flying out of control.
"Aaahh!" He yelled as he flew through the glass barrier and into Boomer's high chair, knocking him to the floor. Unfortunately for Wanda, some of Shane's energy bullets exploded near her and knocked her to the ground.
Thirty seconds left.
"Todd! Get the citizen!" Althea yelled as she continued to duel with Peace.
"I'm coming Al! Get off me!" He said to Adams as he tried to tackle Todd.
Fifteen seconds left.
Todd kicked Adams of him and started hopping towards the citizen, who was perilously close to the shredder.
Ten seconds.
Nine…Todd hopped as fast as he could, avoiding acid and broken glass strewn about the field. Eight….Todd leaped….Seven…His tongue darted out….Six…it headed for the doll. Five…almost there…Four…almost…Three…just…Two…about…One…
"Yes!" Roadblock whooped as Toad's tongue wrapped around the dummy and yanked it away from the shredder just as the timer hit zero.
"Hah! We win!" Althea shouted.
"Pay up!" Shipwreck said to Boomer, who grumbled as he handed Shipwreck his money.
"As if a teacher's salary wasn't small enough…you've got some pretty good kids there, you know that?"
"That we do." Cover Girl said proudly as she counted her winnings. "That we do."
"Great game." Althea said as she shook Warren's—now extinguished—hand. "You're not bad."
"You too." He agreed as the other Misfits started congratulating their fellows and helping the Sky High kids up.
"I'm hungry." Fred said. "Can we have lunch?"
"There's a shocker." Pietro snorted. "But yeah, let's hit the cafeteria."
"All right." Mr. Boy agreed. "Let's go." As the Misfits left Layla, Will, and Warren followed them. They started asking each other about what the Pit or Sky High was like.
"Is the student body very big?" Althea asked Will. He nodded.
"I think so. But it also feels big because we have people from all over." He nodded towards several students passing them in the hall, including one of them who was garbed from head to toe in a black garment.
As the Misfits entered the cafeteria they noticed something—or rather someone—right away.
"Check it out! It's those snotty kids from before!" Todd said.
"Let's go say hello." Pietro said as he scooped up some cafeteria slop and hurled it at them. It splattered all over the table. They stared daggers at him.
"Oh boy…" Althea said. "Let's leave now and come back when Pietro and Todd are finished."
"Or they are." Wanda snickered, pointing at the food-covered gang.
As the cafeteria descended into an all sided food fight, Mr. Boy showed the Misfits one of the science labs.
"This is Medulla." Mr. Boy said to them. "He teaches science here at Sky High."
"So, how often do things blow up?" Todd asked innocently.
"What do you think this is? The Xavier Institute?" Medulla chuckled.
"You…don't like the Xavier Institute?" Low Light asked. Medulla shook his head.
"The truth of the matter is, is that the Xavier Institute is a joke. The explosions, the insanity, the lawsuits! It would be better off for everyone if Xavier just gave up and sent the students to a real school." Medulla said as he exited the lab and led the Misfits back to the cafeteria. The Misfits looked at each other. While none of them were that fond of the Institute, especially given what'd just occurred, but none of them were comfortable with it being denigrated like that.
"Isn't that a little harsh?" Angelica asked. "I mean, nothing's perfect."
"It isn't a matter of perfection." Medulla corrected her. "Just responsibility. I'm just thankful that sort of nonsense doesn't occur around here." He said as he walked into the cafeteria, only to be pelted in the face with mashed potatoes.
"You were saying?" Althea grinned as Pietro zoomed all over the place, exchanging fire with the Sky High kids and Todd ran away from those obnoxious kids, who were dripping in slime.
"That's enough!" Someone hollered. Everyone stopped. They turned to see Principal Powers looking livid. "Unbelievable!" She said. "This sort of childish behavior is completely inappropriate!"
Powers turned to the Misfits. "I knew I shouldn't have let you stay here! You just bring insanity with you wherever you go! Hellions or no Hellions, you're just not worth the trouble. We should've just stuck to our usual methods of evading detection. I doubt the Hellions could even find this place if they wanted to!"
"They must have, if they're planning to attack it." Althea pointed out.
"Wait a minute yo." Todd said, scratching his head. "If this place is so secret, how'd the Hellions find it?"
"By following you turkeys!" A voice called from behind them. They turned around to see the Hellions stepping out of one of Vortex's portals.
"What…?" Angelica gasped.
"We've been set up!" Wanda yelled.
"But how…?" Lance asked.
"They must've followed us here! They planted the information that they were going to attack, knowing we'd try to head them off!" Althea realized.
"As you Americans say, 'Bingo!' " Vladimir grinned.
"You guys are really stupid." Fred snarled. "We've kicked your butts before AND you're attacking a school full of super-heroes! You can't win."
"Maybe if we were alone that'd be true, but we're not…" Vlad explained. "Allow me to introduce some new friends of ours…"
"You!" Will Stronghold shouted as some very familiar faces walked out of the portal.
"That's right. I'm back." Royal Pain sneered. "And I'm not alone." Her old cronies: Penny, Lash, and Speed reappeared right after her.
"How'd you get out?" Principal Powers gasped. Royal Pain smirked.
"I had some…inside help."
"That would be my doing." A voice from behind called. They turned around to see the leader of the gang of mutant punks in their orange and black shirts standing behind them.
"Nice to see that you stayed loyal, Quentin." Royal Pain said.
"The name is Kid Omega." He said. "We're taking over this school!" To his fellow gang members he shouted. "Omega Gang, attack!"
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A/N: I don't know the name of the kid in Sky High who spat acid, so I just made up one for him. Omega Gang © X-Men, Sky High © Disney, blah blah blah.