You just want attention, you don't want my heart
Maybe you just hate the thought of me with someone new
Yeah, you just want attention, I knew from the start
Attention, Charlie Puth
Z
"At what point do we accept the fact that we aren't going to find anything tonight?" I passed the bag of chips back to Brian.
He sighed heavily, taking his time selecting his chips and putting them in his mouth. His eyes scanned the desolate area of the dock in front of us, pitch black and covered in drizzling rain. There was nothing and there had been nothing for the hours we'd been sitting here. All signs pointed to the perps having gotten a tip-off from somebody.
It was hot and humid in the Taurus and Brian wouldn't let me crank it to get any air. I'd shed my blazer and was trying to figure out if I could shed my button-up shirt and just be in my tank top without it being a stakeout faux pas. Brian was still suffering with his tie on and his cuffs still buttoned, so I was going to guess that was a step too far.
"Another hour and then we call it quits." He replied tiredly.
"So I was thinking, this guy's a regular at a club downtown, so could we stake him out there and see who he's talking to? Surely he's meeting with his thieves or at least calling them. Maybe we could get something there that could narrow down a timeline." I asked as I flipped through the file one last time, which was useless because in the dim light I couldn't make out a word.
"We can try it, but we need more proof than seeing him make a phone call and then having another robbery." Brian finally answered.
I groaned as I leaned back into the headrest. We'd been here for hours and the only living thing we'd seen was a rat. We'd decimated all of our snacks at the beginning of the night and all we had left was a cheap bag of barbeque chips that neither of us wanted, but we were too bored to stop eating. Patience was a virtue I did not possess and this was terrible.
"What did you get Rawlings for his retirement party?" I asked to break the silence.
"Does his party fit into your budget?" Brian's voice was flat and I had to look over at him to see if he was teasing or not. I could tell from his face and I felt a pang of guilt.
I'd been struggling with how to act in front of him, and I knew I was a little hot and cold to him. He'd call me on it once and I thought I was being slick by telling him Bennett had started up with the rumors again and I didn't want people to think I was sleeping with him. That did not smooth things over.
"Yes." Things became silent and awkward again. "I think I need help picking a car."
The last part made his eyebrow raise. He looked at me expectantly and I knew he wasn't going to let me slide by with just that.
"I want you to help me. My dream car is a cherry red Chevy Chevelle. I know I'd ruin it the second I touched it, so I was thinking about getting a starter muscle car first."
"Starter muscle car?" His voice continued to be flat and I realized I had a lot more groveling to do.
"Something cheaper, maybe not fully restored, that I could learn how to work on and get used to driving." I tried to explain my plan. He sighed deeply.
"What about something newer? You had newer cars on your list that are less maintenance." He suggested.
"I think I want old American muscle," I explained.
"Have you driven old American muscle?" It was a valid question.
The truth was the massive engines in the old muscle cars terrified and amazed me in equal part. I had built it up in my head to be a monster machine and I wanted it. I also wasn't sure that I could handle that kind of power. It for damn sure wasn't practical, but for once, I didn't care. It was beautiful and I had always had something practical and easy and for once I didn't want practical and easy. I always took the safest option in life, but after that car chase that landed me in this partnership with Brian, I couldn't stop thinking about the thrill. The day to day in the FBI definitely wasn't worth moving to LA and doing all of this, but the feeling of getting those guys off the street was.
Out of anybody, I was sure that Brian would understand, but I couldn't find the words to tell him any of that.
"I want to." I finally answered. He shrugged.
"Okay. I'll take you to look at a few things. I hate to say this, but they'll take you for all your worth if you go by yourself." He was sounding friendlier by the second and I felt myself relax.
I couldn't figure out why I simultaneously wanted to distance myself from him and earn his complete and total approval.
Z
Rawlings's retirement party was at a fancy restaurant in downtown LA with dim lighting, fancy dressed waiters, and starched straight napkins and tablecloths. The group from the FBI office was so large we occupied an entire back dining room.
Rawlings was beloved by all of the people he worked with; the packed out room and the table piled with cards and presents were a testament. He was sitting near the door of the dining room, looking radiantly happy with his beautiful wife at his side as he welcomed everyone that came to see him off. I'd honestly seen less love at weddings.
"Beck!" He greeted me warmly with a huge hug.
Rawlings was one of the guys in the office who still treated me with some respect after everything that happened. I still remembered him clapping me on the back and shaking my hand after my first bust.
"Beck, you got him, but you fucked up. It's fine though; we'll get it unfucked." He had told me as I prepared myself for the ass chewing of a lifetime that awaited me in Penning's office. I was forever grateful for his gentle encouragement of my very first FBI days.
His beautiful, smiling wife hugged me next. They were sweet people and I was going to be sad to see him go.
"Rawlings. We're going to miss you." I told him. He laughed heartily.
"I won't miss you guys. I'll be sitting on the beach."
"I wouldn't miss us either."
A big group of agents came in right behind me and I got shuffled out of the way in the crowd. I felt a little self-conscious as I placed the card on the table with all of his other presents. I looked for a place to go in the crowd, hoping a friendly face would appear. Unfortunately, all I saw were people I had either insulted or were spreading rumors that I was banging Brian.
I was getting nervous when I felt a brush on my elbow. I took a big deep breath when I realized it was Lisa. She nodded comfortingly, pulling me over to the bar. I relaxed when I slid onto the bar stool with her. Brian walked through the door a half-second later. We waved at him and he came over to join us.
"Everyone's back through there and to the left." Lisa pointed as she hugged Brian in greeting. "The waiters can't keep up with everyone coming in and it's happy hour at the bar right now, so I figured this would be a good time to get a drink."
"Thanks, girl. Can you go ahead and order for me? I'll be back in a minute. I'm just going to say hi."
Brian disappeared into the crowd of the back room.
I felt so much more comfortable out here than I did in the crush of coworkers. Lisa was always cool as a cucumber and didn't look she was bothered either way, but I was grateful she had pulled me out here. I didn't fit in with the rest of them, and I had recently started actually trying, but that hadn't seemed to help.
"So guy at the gym." She started with a playful elbow. I chuckled nervously.
"So guy at the gym." I paused as I scanned the happy hour menu.
The bartender appeared and I told her I didn't care what she gave me as long as it was strong and tequila. She promised she could handle that. Lisa ordered a martini for herself and Brian's beer. In a few minutes, the drinks materialized in front of us right as Brian made it back to the empty chair beside Lisa.
"Well, are you going to leave me hanging?" She pressed with a smirk. Brian looked between us and seemed to quickly realize we were talking about guys.
"I'm kind of on the fence. I don't have the time or the energy for an actual relationship." I started sipping the tequila sunrise the bartender had dropped off. True to her word, I got a mouthful of liquor. Apparently she had hooked me up with a little extra.
"No one said you had to do more the sleep with him." Lisa reminded. Brian looked uncomfortable.
It wasn't long before the rest of the agents were taking advantage of the happy hour drinks, especially Rawlings. They spilled out of the party room and overwhelmed the bar. The staff managed to corral us for dinner, but then we spilled out of our room back out to the bar. Cops were a hard-partying bunch, and it looked like the FBI was no exception. We were loud and boisterous and disturbing every patron in the place that wasn't a cop. The three of us stayed tight together despite the crowds pushing around us.
I was grateful for that because when I finally looked up from my conversation with Agent Phillips about the recent counterfeit bust he got, I saw a familiar face. Marcus was standing next to that beautiful blonde he was planning to propose to over Christmas, who looked supremely unhappy at the loud, partying group of cops. I caught a glance of Lisa grabbing Brian's arm from the corner of my eye. Clearly she knew from my pictures who that was.
I was hoping he wouldn't see me, but we made direct eye contact and I knew I was screwed. His eyes widened, quickly followed by his devious smile. He pushed his new girlfriend in my direction.
What the fuck was he doing here?
I swallowed to quell the panic as he crossed the room and tried to pull me into a hug. I got stiff and refused to move from my position on the stool with my drink. Phillips and Brian both protectively moved a little closer. The new girlfriend looked extremely confused.
"Marcus. What brings you this far south?" I tried to not sound fake, but I was drunk. I was so very drunk and this was my worst nightmare.
I was gratefully I had worn my nice grey dress that was skintight and entirely too low necked for the office. I also had on the high heels that Brian hated so much, but showed off my legs so well. I had also redone my makeup for the party, and I was hoping all the cry-laughing I had done with Lisa at Brian's expense hadn't made it run.
"Funny seeing you here. Of all the places in LA. We came down for the weekend." He gestured broadly to the tall, tan blonde at his side. She looked uncomfortable and unhappy. Clearly she knew me and wanted to get out as soon as possible.
"Oh. You should check out the shopping while you're here." I tried to turn back to my drink and my conversation with Phillips.
"This is Julia." Marcus continued.
"Anna." I reached out to shake her hand and she took it limply.
"Nice to meet you." She tugged at Marcus's arm, pulling him to leave.
"Nice to meet you too." I took a big swig of my tequila sunrise, trying to wash the awkwardness away.
"Who are these guys?" He cockily, looking Phillips up and down, completely ignoring his girlfriend's attempt to leave.
Did I expect anything different? Not really. He was cocky and liked to push his perceived power around. He liked to steamroll my opinion in public and I let it go because I was normally not interested in impressing his friends, but now I was wondering how I ever let it slide. Marcus hadn't changed and I was struggling to see what about him I found attractive. He was too short and entirely too cocky. I gave him a pity smile.
"This is Agent Dante Phillips?" Phillips nodded his affirmation. We never used first names, so I tended to forget. "This is Agent Brian O'Conner and the fabulous, brilliant Lisa Nguyen." I gestured to my two friends hovering at my shoulder.
"Mind if we join you?" He pushed. His girlfriend looked horrified.
"At Rawlings's retirement party?" I asked incredulously.
There was a commotion on the other side of the room. I sat up straighter trying to figure out what was causing it. I saw Penning's tall figure with a cell phone up to his ear.
"So you're making friends here?" He shoved himself up against the bar looking Phillips up and down, which was hilarious because Phillips was once a collegiate basketball star and towered over us all, but especially Marcus.
I looked around at my crowd of coworkers with a fake smile plastered on my face. A few of them had noticed what was going on and had turned to look. Most of them had never heard of Marcus, but it was pretty clear from his posturing that he was an ex.
Seeing no way out of this, I grabbed my purse.
"Yeah. You can have my seat." I offered as I moved to leave.
"Yeah, mine too." Lisa looked a little uncertain as she moved to follow. I thanked God for sending me such an amazing friend. She was backing me up with no questions asked.
"Are you heading out? You ladies need a ride?" Phillips offered uncomfortably.
"I'll take them, man. It's time for me to go too. We have early plans tomorrow." Brian nodded.
"Oh yeah?" Marcus stepped in front of Brian. "How long have you been together?" He gestured between Brian and me.
Brian's bright blue eyes flickered to me as he decided how to play this.
"Man, it ain't like that."
If the people around us hadn't been paying attention, they were now.
"This is my partner. Like my work partner. We aren't dating. We're working a case tomorrow." I explained.
"Tonight." Penning's booming voice drowned out what was sure to be a stupid reply from Marcus. He didn't even spare him a second glance. "Beck, O'Conner."
He motioned for us to follow him. With a shrug at Marcus and Julia, I fled after him, leaving the two behind me without a second glance. Lisa and Phillips ended up following us into a corner of the party. Penning didn't bat an eye at the extra bodies.
"Another shipment went missing, but this time the entire shipping container was loaded on a truck that disappeared." Penning addressed the four of us in a hushed tone.
"So they switched the game after we started doing surveillance. Do we have records of the staff working during all of the robberies? It sounds like they're all in on it." I asked.
"The company wouldn't give it up without a warrant." Lisa filled in.
"They've got to have something on a manager or somebody of a higher level to be blocking us like this. They're losing so much money it doesn't make sense for them to help the thieves." Phillips suggested.
"You'd be surprised how much they're making with the kickback and the insurance money," Brian added.
Penning seemed to consider this.
"It could go either way. We'll need a warrant for those records." Penning turned to leave but had another thought and whipped back around. "Beck, you're entirely too toasted to be back at the office."
"I am, sir," I answered honestly. The S in sir came out much more thickly than I mean for it to.
Z
"What the fuck was that?" Phillips asked when we all piled into Brian's Taurus.
"I"m hoping a drunken bad dream," I answered honestly. He laughed heartily.
"Girl, we've all got that ex. Just spill it." He poked the back of my neck and I turned around to smack his hand.
Surprisingly, I found myself laughing. It was almost like having my ex-fiance show up at a work event had made me more approachable. I accidentally voiced this out loud and Phillips agreed that I suddenly seemed more human.
"Two narcissists under one roof. What was that even like? It sounds like a nightmare." He chuckled to himself. The smile slid off my face. Even the alcohol didn't dull the sting of that comment.
"It was awful." I finally blurted.
"But he's gone." Lisa tried to sound encouraging.
"Damn, O'Conner, did you see the legs on his girlfriend?" Brian looked awkwardly at me.
"She's fucking gorgeous. I hope she gets out while she can though." I answered for him.
"Ten bucks says he sends you a wedding invitation." Phillips prodded my shoulder from the backseat. I was beginning to think I was not the drunkest one in the car.
"Definitely. He's using my ring to propose to her in December." Phillip's let out a whistle.
I was expecting it to hurt, but it didn't. Phillips was treating me like a real person for once and we had some leads to chase down on a case that was growing cold. This wasn't a bad night. A month ago I would have been crying, but I felt a little stronger.
"Beck, you need some help picking out that revenge dress?" Phillip's flirted. Everyone in the car barked out a laugh.
"Has he earned a trip home yet?" I asked Brian. He nodded quickly.
"Me and Lisa are about to take this case on singlehandedly."
"Why would we need anyone else?" She replied without missing a beat.
Brian always said LA would start to feel a little like home, that I would eventually win the respect of the people around me, and I would start to enjoy spending time with them. This was the moment it all happened. For the first time in a long time, I didn't miss going out in Portland with my Portland coworkers talking about Portland cases. There was something exciting about speeding through LA drunkenly plotting the best way to take down more serious criminals. We weren't talking about canvassing neighborhoods, we were talking about stakeouts and undercover ops.
Nothing could destroy this feeling, not even my past ghosts crawling back out to haunt me. I refused to look back, only on what laid ahead of me.