Disclaimer, in case it wasn't obvious. I don't own Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, or really any other property. Thank you.
The Long Road
Chapter 5: Limit
"Yes, master."
Gohan stood there in front of the pacing Paragus, the old warrior turning towards Gohan with a critical eye, his only eye, he turned to Gohan.
Paragus always said he saw 'potential' in him. To kill Frieza, to rule the universe. After he'd been transferred to the Eastern Sector of where the Planet Trade operated, a few other refuges from the planet Vegeta had made themselves known, working for the 'benevolent' Lord Cooler, rather than Frieza, which they'd known was a death sentence.
Paragus however, was more a slave than a servant. His son Broly had been killed by Cooler years ago, everyone knew the tail of the maddened cyclops who now found himself in forced servitude. Any pity for the man had evaporated.
"You remind me of my son Broly, young Gohan. It is a crime that your father did not honour you with a saiyan name." Paragus remarked, holding his hand out once more for Gohan to emulate as he continued to teach the 5 year old the tools of the trade.
After the last planet, Gohan had been considered 'sloppy' and needed to improve. Paragus and Turles had been given the task, and Turles largely ignored it.
"One day Gohan, you will avenge my son, and slay the tyrant."
Gohan shifted his body, following Paragus's movements.
There was no intentions of following the rambling old man to his death, no one surpassed Cooler. Finally turning to see Paragus with a large grin on his face.
"Afterwards, you and I shall rule this universe."
"Yes, Master Paragus."
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Slowly, Gohan's eyes opened as he realized where he was.
Every time I wake up, I keep hoping I'm not here... At least the food's good.
This was hell, being stuck in a bed, only having the strength to eat, or find the bathroom.
The night before he'd called Chi-Chi his mother, perhaps out of sympathy for the woman, perhaps because she was. It was a weakness, a mistake in his mind, but it was done. Perhaps the woman could find some peace after he left. The woman cared about his well being, to be honest she was probably the first one within his memory he could say that about. It was an extremely awkward feeling to have.
The next thing you know, I'll start getting attached to that monster Kakarot.
Suddenly the door burst open, slamming against his wall at inhuman speed before a little demon leaped in the air above him, aiming to land on him. Only with the last moment swat of his arm did he knock the little black, blue and orange ball of child away.
Looking over, his ribs screaming in protest as he readied his one good fighting arm.
"Gohan!" Goten said excitedly, getting himself up with a big grin, running over to Gohan's side.
He's not even scratched from me hitting him.
The boy just looked like he was dialling up his happiness level with every few seconds, bouncing around him talking too loudly and excitedly for Gohan to make out half of what he was saying in his sleepy, groggy, injured state.
"Kid, slow down."
"I've finally got a big brother!" Goten exclaimed, his arms opened excitedly.
The grin plastered across the kid's face would normally make an Arcosian's heart melt, but to Gohan it was just some kind grinning at him like an idiot.
"Kid, listen-"
"Brother! Brother! I found my big brother! Oh, can you tell me how cool space was?! Oh! Oh! I know, you should tell me about when you transformed into a super saiyan! Oh! I know-"
"Super saiyan?"
What was this kid rambling about? Did he think that space was some adventure? Did he think this was somehow some quest he'd been on, like a noble knight? And a super saiyan?... The Legend... That was what Goku was! That golden hair, the increased power. He'd achieved the goal!
With his jaw dropping slightly at the realization, it almost drowned out Goten... almost.
"You know! Like this!"
Objects around the room rumbled, the curtains swept around them as a golden field covered Goten, his hair shooting up as well and turning to gold.
Gohan's eyes were fixed on the little boy in half terror.
He-he can do that too?!
The memories of Kakarot breaking his ribs and smashing his shoulder were still vivid in the saiyan's mind. And now it was very clear that this boy could do it as well.
Goten looked at his older brother however with a measured level of surprise, well, at his surprise.
"... Haven't you changed before?" Goten asked finally, having just assumed his brother would have.
It didn't take more than a second for Goku to barge in however, his eyes looking strict.
"Goten! Stop that right now! You know you aren't supposed to change in the house!"
The boy looked utterly dejected, reverting back to his saiyan form before looking at Gohan.
"I just wanted to show brother my transformation, he didn't know what it was called."
It wasn't just what it was called, he couldn't do it at all. Gohan was severely behind the progress of what, a six year old child? This planet was ridiculous. How? How could a six year old be a legendary super saiyan? His eyes turned to Kakarot, his father standing there just staring at him.
Its insulting that this child is so far ahead of me.
It was quiet between the two of them, no words exchanged. Guilt was still radiating off Goku's body language, and Gohan could sense that.
"..."
The silence continued as Goten awkwardly looked between his two older male relatives.
"Uhm, dad," Goten finally spoke up. "Aren't you going to say good morning to Gohan?"
Suddenly a big goofy smile appeared across Goku's face, it was almost as if that tense moment had entirely disappeared, he laughed even for a moment.
"Of course! Good morning Gohan," he greeted.
The response was nothing less than ice, as Gohan stared down his father instead of answering.
You play the role of the fool, but you are anything but, aren't you?
It was then that Chi-Chi walked through the door.
"Alright you two, get to the table, its breakfast. Gohan, I'll be by with your food in a minute."
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A day later:
"Hey," Goku's voice broke through the cloud of sleep. "Hey, Gohan, wake up."
"Nuhnnnrr," was the response from the wounded saiyan, moving his left arm arbitrarily to ward off Goku.
At least the bed was comfortable, that was something Gohan determined while he lay there. He was nudged again, causing his shoulder and ribs to shift uncomfortably. If this was Goten, he was going to lose it. That kid had way to much energy.
The nudge came again.
Finally his only eye not currently bandaged opened furiously. He snarled at the figure harassing him in his sleep, not particularly caring why. For some reason the last night had felt particularly pleasant, fond memories of killing Paragus.
Killing you, old man, will never get old.
It was then he realized that Turles... no wait... Kakarot, was staring at him with a giant, goofy grin.
Please don't be something stupid.
"Hey Gohan, great news! Me and Goten are going training today, and we wanted to bring you with us! What do you say? Time to get out of the house and stretch."
I think I may have thought too highly of him before. Because that comment has to be one of the stupidest things I think I've heard all... lifetime.
"You realize my ribs are broken, my right shoulder-blade is snapped, and my face is half swollen because of the beating you gave me. You remember why I'm lying here covered in bandages don't you?"
The reply was given in a sharp tone, clearly frustrated that Goku had not only woken him up over something so trivial. Exactly how was he going to train like this? Even so, he didn't train that much, he fought. What was the point of fighting while holding back?
It was then however, that Kakarot pulled up a small, green bean and grinned yet further, completely satisfied with himself.
"... That green bean sure makes you look like an asshole," Gohan informed him after a moment, his eyes still dimly looking at Goku.
"No, this bean means we'll be able to train. I finally managed to get one off someone, Korin's aren't finished yet, but my friend Piccolo had one and was willing to share it if you wanted to come training."
Who the hell was Korin, and why was this bean important exactly? His eye began examining Kakarot for signs of intoxication, though he hardly thought Kakarot was the type to do drugs, you really never knew.
"And is this bean is supposed to do what exactly?"
For a moment, the healthy saiyan looked shocked at the remark, before realizing exactly what Gohan asked him.
"Shoot, that's right! You have no idea about the Senzu beans. These are magical beans made by Korin, the cat who lives on the tower leading to the Guardian of the Earth's Lookout."
My drugs theory stands.
"Goku! Hurry up, he's either coming or not!" a deep, new voice shouted from outside.
"Come on Gohan!" Goten's voice shouted from outside.
Opening his left hand, reaching out for Goku to give him the bean, the small magical bean was placed in his hand. It was just a bean, what was the worst that could happen? Eating it and not being healed?
Goku looked on excitedly as he place the bean in his hand, making Gohan all the more suspicious. Looking at the strange bean, finally he placed it between his lips, chewing it briefly before swallowing.
Bones snapped back together, muscle almost seemed to sew itself back into place, stronger than before, his face immediately pulled itself back into place, and he felt a rush of energy. Shifting up immediately after being stuck in the bed for days, Gohan stretched his arms out, bandages ripping as he did, the metal bar they'd placed to help keep his shoulder in check bending in two.
This is amazing. I feel unbelievably great!
A full, real smile crept across Gohan's lips as he pulled himself out of the bed in one quick motion, shifting his body around several times, as if looking for damage somewhere else. Unbelievable, how was this kind of healing possible? Not only that, he could feel his strength increase with the consumption of the bean.
Looking in disbelief at Kakarot, Gohan smirked.
"So, where is this training? I'll be glad to beat some sense into your friends in exchange for being-"
"Wow, first things first, you need to take a shower, and Chi-Chi set some clothes out for you."
Superb, after this was over, he could get back to his craft and get off this planet as quickly as possible, before anything else absolutely strange happened. A planet with magic beans, how strange. The next thing you know they'd say there was a means to grant bloody wishes on this planet too.
The shower felt awesome, not that it was particularly special, but after being beaten half to death a few days ago, and being bed ridden, nothing felt as good as cleaning all that away. When he emerged and placed the clothes on, much to his disappointment, they were exactly like Goku's. An orange and blue fighting gi, he suspected that this was the only thing that would fit him.
It will do until I get back to Planet Cooler 71.
Walking from the bathroom, he saw Chi-Chi smiling at him.
"You look much more handsome when you aren't covered in bandages," she told him with a bright smile, walking over.
It was a nature reflex to growl in response, still unused to the comment. She seemed so happy to see him up, though he was curious as to why.
"I've got to go see the others, apparently they are training and want me to join them," he explained.
"Just be careful, you just got out of bed." Chi-Chi said, her voice still full of concern.
How incredible, she's worried about me. I can't even remember the last time someone worried about me.
For a moment, even if only brief, it made him not want to escape this rock. It was fleeting however, even as she moved to hug him. He placed his hand up as a quiet barrier before the two, though did smile at her.
"I'll be fine, mom. I promise."
The words were designed to calm her. In a day she'd be utterly heartbroken again once he was gone. For the first time in a very, very long time Gohan felt real guilt.
I can't stay here though, you people are too different, this world is too different.
It wasn't that he'd just be a burden, but the idea of succumbing to their customs, their lifestyles. It was too much of a chance, all of these feelings, good will, open displays of affection. Too much was left said, rather than unsaid. In essence, this world was too... happy.
His own disappointment that his parents weren't more like him still persisted, but now it'd started to shift. That disappointment was turning into the fact he wasn't like them instead. However, that just simply wasn't going to happen.
"Hey, are you coming!?" Goku called.
"He'll be a second!" Chi-Chi angrily shot back. "I'm trying to talk to my son Goku! Don't rush him!"
Hah, I see where I got the temper from.
"Bye," Gohan said quickly, before rushing past her and heading outside.
What waited for him there was three figures, Goten, Goku, and a large green creature, clad in deep purple, and wearing a white turban and cape. This, he gathered, was Piccolo, the one who'd provided the magical bean that healed him.
"Gohan, geeze, you took forever," Goku remarked to his son before a white aura overtook his own body. "Keep up, we're heading out," He laughed, rocketing into the air, followed by Goten.
Piccolo stared for a moment, before smirking. "Figures you'd look just like him," was all he could swear Piccolo said, before taking off as well.
Reluctantly, Gohan felt his own aura burn around his body, before taking off into the sky. Something about the green one made him feel uncomfortable, it was oddly familiar, it itched at the back of his skull.
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The badlands rolled over the horizon, rocks scattered atop it with few patches of green in sight. This was it, this was where they were going to train.
Outdoors, in the middle of nowhere to make sure they don't destroy everything.
"Wait till you meet Trunks!" Goten laughed to his brother. "Oh! And Vegeta!"
Vegeta?
Gohan immediately looked at Kakarot with inquisitive eyes, as if looking for an immediate answer to what Goten had said.
Vegeta is the name of the last saiyan prince, who died on Planet Namek.
"I'll explain after we train for a bit," Goku offered. "but for now, I'm pretty sure Piccolo wants us to train more than talk. And-"
Goten transformed immediately, grinning as he did.
"Wait, Goten, today I think we should stay in our original states," Goku said, smiling. "At least until-"
I can't believe it! He's coddling me. What humiliation, he's telling a 6 year old to hold back against me.
Gohan was now, openly visibly mad. How dare he be called a weakling? So weak that he wasn't expected to even keep up with a child? Narrowing his eyes on Goku.
"No, I want you to transform," Gohan said, his voice clearly irritated. "I will either keep up, or I will not keep up. Don't hold back."
"Son Goku," Piccolo said from above, a smirk across his face. "Let me take a crack at Gohan first. You'll be biased, you're his father so you won't be able to really appraise what he does. I want to see what his technique is like."
Goku looked up at Piccolo, before transforming into a Super Saiyan. "Are you sure Piccolo? He's pretty tough."
"Hah," was the only response from the green skinned warrior. Lowering himself to the ground, Piccolo just stared at Gohan.
A moment later he discarded his turban and cloak, the two objects smashing on the ground.
Antenna? He's... got the same green antenna!
Everyone saw the look in Gohan's eyes, completely that of shock, even Piccolo seemed surprised by his response, noting Gohan's eyes intently staring at his head.
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A wall shattered as Gohan's thirteen year old frame was smashed through several buildings on this frozen, hellhole of a world. In front of him, a hulking figure wearing a yellow tunic blasted towards him.
Barely staggering to his feet, Gohan felt the monster's huge fist slam into his abdomen, causing the saiyan to cough up phlegm before he was kicked away again, his body leaving a trail of destruction in his wake.
Laying in the rubble now around him, Gohan tried to sit up, feeling his body covered in wounds. Cooler had wanted this blasted rock because it supposedly had the ability to reverse ageing, but when he got here all he found was a dead, frozen hellhole with none of the indigenous life left on it. Instead, ironically, there were competing pirates on this world. Killing most of them had been simple until this beast had showed itself.
Now it was walking to him with a smug look on his face.
I need to hold on until Lord Cooler's ship arrives.
Cooler himself was expected to be there, and soon. He was simply supposed to be the vanguard, and now was in a desperate struggle jut to survive. This was how he was going to die.
I'm not going to die here. I can't.
Standing up, Gohan felt himself prepare for this grinning bastard.
"It feels good to be young," Slug chuckled.
It'd been terrible to watch Turles go down, he had no idea if the other saiyan was even alive. It brought back memories of feeling helpless from a time before he could even remember.
Powering up, he became fully intent on fulfilling his revenge, his eyes narrowing. Something broken behind his eyes before flying straight at the competing pirate.
Finally landing a blow, a kick to the head, the helmet the alien wore was case aside. Without even looking at his enemy, he grabbed for his arm, slamming the huge Namek into the ground, twisting the limb and ripping with all his might. The huge arm tore completely off, purple blood spewing out from the terrible wound. The green alien screamed in agony.
Looking at his face, Gohan smirked, noting the green antenna briefly. How stupid did those look?
Suddenly an angry gloved hand grabbed his left arm.
He's still alive?!
"You rotten little bastard," Slug snarled, claws digging into Gohan's arm as he stood up.
Falling to one knee, the teenage saiyan tried his best to keep his mind together as he felt his muscle and bone being crushed by the larger fighter.
"I'll help you learn a lesson, just like other foolish saiyan," Slug said with his grin returning. "Which is do on to others, as you would have done on to you."
Muscle and flesh began to tear as Slug started to pull away. Desperately Gohan's free hand shot out, grasping the huge orange clad glove of the Namek, a pained cry escaped his lips as he desperately fought to save the limb. It was when Slug finally put his huge foot up, pressing against Gohan's shoulder and pushing. Pulling violently along with his arm he finally gained enough leverage and strength to do the vile deed.
No! No! Please! My arm! Stop!
The sound of flesh ripping finally was the only thing Gohan could hear. His bone made a dozen cracking noises, before there was a snap and a pop. Muscle and fat pulled and ripped and finally the limb came free as a swell of blood splattered from the stump near his shoulder.
The limb was casually tossed in front of him, blood pouring pooling around it.
The scream of agony that echoed out was overwhelming, all consuming. Within a heartbeat, he felt something break, and for a brief moment, Slug felt something truly terrible behind the power inside the boy he faced off against.
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Gohan hadn't realized it, but he was trembling as he looked at Piccolo's antenna, sweat pouring from his forehead, a cold, terrible sweat. It was a Namek. The race that Frieza annihilated. It was a Namek like Slug. It was a Namek like the one who tore his arm off.
"Gohan?" Goku finally asked. "Is everything alright?"
The fear in Gohan's eyes turned to rage, power fluctuating violently as he felt himself beginning to lose control.
"You."
Piccolo smirked, noting how much power Gohan was gathering. He looked utterly unconcerned.
Just like Slug.
Taking off in a violent explosion energy, Gohan launched himself into an attack on the Namek, pulling his arm back to strike. Swinging through him, Piccolo noted the after image that had been Gohan, the real one flying in without a heartbeat and slamming his fist into Piccolo's face, sending the Namek flying back into a nearby rock formation, causing it to crash in on itself.
Two huge purple bolts slammed into where the rocks had crumbled, causing a huge blast to rumble across the landscape as purple energy domed in the distance, sending debris flying in all directions.
Looking down at where he'd attacked, the enraged saiyan felt himself breathing in heavily with an anger he'd not felt in years. His left arm almost tingled where the trauma had occurred. To any skilled fighter, it was very clear Gohan was playing to win, and playing to kill.
I killed you, you green fucking bastard. There weren't supposed to be any of you left.
"Impressive, if this had been 7 years ago, that may have actually hurt me," Piccolo's voice remarked from behind.
Turning his head and snarling at Piccolo, who was now crossing his arms, Gohan prepared to attack again.
"Is this the extent of that power of yours? Because if so, I might as well go spar with Goku. Its clear you can't even detect energy levels, or hide your power. You're not only weak, but sloppy. You've got all that power and no technique, its revolting that you've even been able to get as strong as you are. At least when Vegeta came to earth, he had skill."
The purple aura that now burst around Gohan caused the Earth meters beneath them to shatter and crack.
"Gohan, calm down!" Goku shouted.
"Don't interfere, Goku," Piccolo shot back quickly, turning his attention back to Gohan, his face serious and ridged.
Within a moment, Piccolo's head had dodged to the side as Gohan's fist sailed past him, faster than human eyes could dream to follow, Piccolo dodged around every punch, every kick which Gohan launched.
Relentless, Gohan was absolutely relentless as he continued his assault. Taking the initiative was key, Turles had taught him that. Never be forced to be responsive, always be the aggressor.
Finally, a kick landed on the Namek's side, causing the green alien to shift to the side. The two of them froze in the air, Piccolo looking only mildly uncomfortable.
It was then that the clawed hand of Piccolo slammed into his chest. A strange winding sound whizzed through the air as the limb began to extend. Gohan felt it swinging him through the air before he slammed into the already broken up ground below.
The sound started again as Gohan was reeled back in to where Piccolo was. Striking out as he was brought back in, he landed an elbow on Piccolo's face, causing the Namek's head to turn, and little else. With a knee slamming into his own gut, Gohan felt his power beginning to deplete, fast, before he was booted into the ground again.
Landing a few metres away, Piccolo just crossed his arms again.
"This kid needs work, a lot of work," he said to Goku bluntly. "He attacks like a wild animal and has about as much discipline as one. Whoever trained him did a -"
A green pulse of energy waved past all of them as Gohan formed his Blaster Shell above his head, the first energy attack Paragus had ever taught him. Concentrating his energy into the shot, Gohan snarled angrily.
"You bastard, I'll kill you," he seethed.
"Gohan, the spar is over," Goku finally said, appearing in front of Gohan, his body bursting with a golden energy as his hair turned gold.
Spar? With a Namek? I'll kill him.
Looking into those blue eyes however, the same ones that had crippled him only days earlier, felt himself slowly dispersing the energy in his hand, trembling with anger still.
"What got into you back there? This is just training Gohan, those blows were meant to do serious damage," Goku accused, and rightly so. "You don't even know Piccolo."
Gohan was still breathing heavily, standing his full height.
I know his kind well enough. Green skinned monster.
"I'm just trying to correct a mistake," the teenager shot back to Goku. "I thought I made your kind extinct."
Piccolo's eyes widened at the word, intensifying on Gohan as he felt his fist tighten.
"You attacked New Namek." Piccolo accused, his teeth grinding together.
"New Namek? There is a New Namek?" Gohan asked, looking confused. "Frieza blew up your pitiful world, I thought the only survivor was Slug."
Piccolo seemed to calm down, smirking as he did, as if he knew something Gohan didn't.
"Gohan." Finally Goku said, his voice stern.
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"Gohan."
So the monster had come out. Goku saw it as he tried to kill Piccolo, that wasn't any spar and everyone who saw it knew it. Goten had looked terrified by the viciousness of the assault. What the hell had gotten into him? It wasn't just because this was a fight, something about Piccolo had set him off.
What was the most disappointing was how he'd demonstrated absolutely no control. Everything Piccolo had criticized had also been entirely right. Gohan was by no means a skilled fighter, all of his power came from likely the terrible injuries he'd experienced in his life. All of it came from bitterness and pain, rather than discipline and training.
The teenager had turned sharply towards him, looking angry.
"One of these green fuckers tore my arm off!" finally Gohan shouted furiously.
"And because one Namek hurt you, its alright to take it out on all of them, is that it Gohan?"
"Yes!" furiously Gohan snapped.
To think, only a day ago Goku had felt things were going to be fine. Now? Gohan was just as much a beast as he had been when he first arrived. His rage was totally out of control, anything that slighted his ego and pride had to be destroyed. This was hardly the first time Goku had seen a saiyan like this. Nappa, Raditz, even Vegeta, they'd all been like this.
Gohan is even worse. Just because a Namek wounded his pride he wants to kill all the Nameks?
It didn't take much to sense the hatred coming from him even right now, directed at him personally even.
There was something crushingly disappointing about all of this. This was meant to have been a good day out, the first day he trained with his son ever. Now? Just looking at Gohan he could see that the teenager had no intention of training any further. Calling him a fighter would be an insult, his son was a killer and little else. He didn't even think of improving himself, he thought about killing his target.
"I don't know what happened to you in life to make you hate so much, Gohan. I can't know, I wasn't there. But this has to stop right now. Right here."
The scowl he received in response was clear enough.
"Gohan!" Goten finally chimed, running over, his hair like that of a super saiyan.
"Goten, step back," Goku warned.
"Gohan!" Goten started anyway. "Please don't get mad, I'm sure whatever it is, Mr. Piccolo didn't mean it! He's a very nice, good man. There is no reason to-"
"Piss off, kid," Gohan cut in, still glaring at Goku, his voice still furious.
That's enough.
Goku had finally had it.
Taking a step forward, he immediately saw Gohan's eyes become nervous, stepping back defensively.
Worst of all, despite all that hate. You're a coward. You're trying to hide your complete fear of me. Its so easy for you to kill people weaker than you, but when you know you're outmatched, you just crumble. Its just like Frieza.
Something twisted in Goku's stomach. This was a parody of his son, a twisted image of him.
"I didn't even hurt the kid!" Gohan finally spat, remembering Goku's orders when he'd first been laid up in the house.
"You tried to kill Piccolo."
"Tried," Gohan said quickly, staring past Goku's shoulder at the Namek for a moment, clearly intimidated by him as well now.
Without giving Gohan even a moment to respond further, Goku punched him in the stomach. Without much ceremony, Gohan dropped to his knees quivering, holding his abdomen.
"Goku," Piccolo said from behind. "I think-"
"Don't interfere, Piccolo" It was a grim parody of Piccolo's own response.
"What do you want from me!?" Finally Gohan shouted, barely staggering to his feet. "What? Did you expect me to be what, exactly? Do you know what I do? I kill people, its my fucking job!"
Finally, this was what Goku had been waiting for, this was the real Gohan showing himself, no longer reserved. His fear had been overwhelmed only by his own personal outrage. There was no need to say a thing, not yet.
"Do you have any idea how much I hate being here? I hate this planet, look what its done to you Kakarot. You were supposed to be a warrior, someone who understood what we did. You were supposed to be proud that I survived my trials by fire, that I persisted, that I survived. Instead, all you are is some weak, spineless Earthling. All you people do is talk, and talk about your feelings, about how sad, or sorry you are. Worse, you talk about how happy you are! Its infuriating! I am a saiyan! I am a saiyan warrior! I don't spar, I fight and I kill!"
"I was strong enough to beat you, Gohan."
"And that name!" Gohan finally spat. "Gohan, its plagued me my entire life. I was proud to wear it, until I got to this shitty piece of mud and rock. Every saiyan and even every alien I've even known thought me a bastard for that name, but I kept it. I kept it because my father, who was supposed to be a warrior, gave it to me. I'd have changed it to a real warrior's name in a second if I knew it'd been you who gave it to me!"
"Are you done?" Goku finally asked. "Because I think I'm done listening to this. I knew the moment I met you that you'd let hate consume your entire life, I just didn't realize it was this much. You'll never achieve anything, all you'll do is destroy."
"And you won't kill me," Gohan finally said, realizing it seemingly as he smirked. "You don't have it in you. I'm your son," The last word was spat in disgust. "You're no saiyan."
It was then that a sharp kick sent Gohan flying back, causing him to slam into a rock formation.
Goku saw who'd kicked him, and it wasn't himself. Piccolo walked past him a second later, staring at where he'd just kicked Gohan.
"You know he can't stay here and be like this," Piccolo remarked. "We can arrange something at the Lookout-"
"I thought Chi-Chi had gotten through to him." Goku managed to say. "But please, Piccolo, I need to take care of this. I made this mistake, I have to try and fix it. Keep Goten back, alright?"
That hurt, a lot.
Gohan managed to pull himself up, looking ahead with a heaving chest as he looked at Goku walking towards him again.
That Namek just interfered.
He couldn't cope anymore with this world, with his parents, with any of this. The guilt he felt around Chi-Chi had been absolutely awful, it plagued him. The resentment he felt towards Goku however was growing with every minute. This man had become a Super Saiyan.
Why can't I!? I should be stronger than him. I've had to make the hard decisions my entire life. I'm the one whose power increases after every world, after every battle. Instead I'm nothing to this man.
"I can't tell you how disappointed I am," Goku finally said, looming over him. "You always had such a good nature. You enjoyed playing with the animals in the forests, you learned to write and read everything anyone put in front of you. I still remember the days when you'd hug Chi-Chi and tell her she was the greatest mom ever. I remembered taking you out on the Nimbus Cloud, and all I could see was wonder in your eyes when you looked at the world," Goku said. "Now all I see is a broken shell of a person, filled with nothing but hatred, resentment, anger and fear."
Wonder dies in the flames of destroyed worlds.
"What's even worse, you gave me hope. When I brought you back to my home, when I saw how you responded to Chi-Chi, I had hope for you. I now see that was misplaced. You have no control, I hate to think of how cruel you've been to billions. Even when Vegeta came to us, he wasn't like this. I didn't expect you to be perfect Gohan, not after all this time. I knew you'd have been damaged, that you'd have seen more than you ever should have, even if I found you as soon as I got back, things were never going to be the same. But you didn't just survive what you went through, you embraced it."
Pulling himself up, Gohan just glared at Kakarot. More words, more empty, hollow words. So what if he'd embraced it? What other choice was there? He was all alone in the universe except for the tender care of Paragus, who he'd killed as soon as he could.
All he could ever tell me was how I wasn't Broly, I wasn't a Legendary Super Saiyan. Some legend, killed by Lord Cooler.
Turles had at least showed him respect. The worst thing about Paragus was he was right. Gohan fancied himself a Super Saiyan before he finally met Kakarot, Kakarot with his golden hair.
"Of course I did. Do you know how important I am? Do you know what you've done to my career?" Gohan finally spat. "I was the Chief Operations Officer of the Planet Trade. I was the right hand of Lord Cooler," he snarled furiously. "I never failed him, never. I killed everyone I was supposed to, I'm the only saiyan in the organization's history to become a commissioned Board Member Officer. But you don't care about that, you don't care about how hard I had to work through all that, the mountains of corpses I had to climb to drag myself out of the gutter you left me in!" he scowled.
"You have no idea how long it took to become accepted. The beatings I had to endure, the wounds I had to suffer. You don't care about any of it because I'm a monster to you. Well I at least deserve recognition for being the best monster I could be! When I get off this planet, I'm going to go back to my job, and I am going to purge two planets. Maybe I'll even change my name to Kakarot, so your name can at least have some saiyan dignity attached to it!"
The look of disgust Goku gave him said it all.
I am proud of everything I was able to accomplish. I am proud I survived all that pain, all that suffering to get where I am.
But the truth was it was gone. He remembered well the price of failure. Failure was death, if not in life, than certainly in career. For him it was over, Cooler would never accept that he was unable to complete a job, especially with a record like his.
"Listen to yourself," Goku just said, his voice hard as nails. "Think of the millions you had to kill to get where you are. You don't even care about them do you? What did those people ever even do to you Gohan? Most of them just wanted to live in peace, and you not only stole that peace from them, you stole their very lives."
"Why should I care? I remember one thing very well, the weak die and the strong survive."
It was something Lord Cooler, Turles, Paragus, and everyone else he'd ever known had taught him well, the only venue to respect and prestige was strength, and ruthlessness. These traits were meant to go hand in hand.
"And look at you now. The only reason you aren't terrified of me is because you don't think I'll kill you."
You're too soft to kill me.
"But I can't let you take your hatred and anger out on others anymore Gohan. You won't stay, but I can't let you leave, not if you are going to continue hurting people. I have to set aside what you were to me once."
What?! No, he wouldn't!
There was something about the way he talked that convinced Gohan in that moment, that this may be his end. He could already feel his breathing changing. His fist closed as he stepped back.
How ironic, I was hoping Chi-Chi would be happy just knowing I was alive.
There was a certain level of shock that he was more concerned about how Chi-Chi would feel about his death, than worrying about himself. These thoughts, this self reflection, was cut off as he was booted back.
His body was stronger than before, ribs waned, but didn't buckle. Powering up his aura, Gohan felt himself rocket backward, attempting to gain distance between himself and Goku.
"Dad, please stop!" Goten shouted in the distance. No such cry came from the Namek, understandably, who grabbed Goten a moment later.
Golden energy trailed after him, he could see it as plainly as day. Pulling his arm back, gathering energy into a shimmering green orb, he formed the Blaster Shell once again, the same technique Paragus had taught him. Launching it ahead, the green blast slammed into Goku's advancing form, causing the desired explosion.
Of course, Kakarot was absolutely fine, but he already knew that'd be the case. Forming another green shell in his other hand, he launched it after the pursuing figure.
This time, Kakarot completely disappeared, appearing above him. For a brief moment, Gohan almost felt as though he could sense Goku's power moving above him, it was the strangest feeling he could have sensed in his entire life. The moment was so profound he didn't even try to manage a defence, being struck into the ground.
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"It was terrible," Chi-Chi told Goku, just looking absolutely drained, looking at her husband with eyes that pleaded to be talked to, pleaded to share.
"I'm sure it wasn't-"
"He told me what that... that monster did to him the first day he was out of that pod. He nearly killed him Goku, he hit him in the face so hard it split his skull open, his face! Oh god his eye came out. That's where that scar comes from, the one around his eye. That was the first thing he remembers after us. I... can't believe what they put him through. All that pain, he didn't have anyone did he?"
Goku could only listen to his wife quietly.
"He called me mom," she finally choked. "After I finally managed to get him back to bed, he called me mom for the first time."
"That's great Chi-Chi," there was a ray of hope in Goku's words, as if somehow this was going to make things better. He hoped it would.
"It was almost painful for him to say," she whispered. "But I saw how much he wanted to say it. It was like he was my little boy again."
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Goku watched as Gohan's form hit the surface of the badlands, his body slamming into the ground below.
Chi-Chi. I don't know what to do anymore. I want to believe I can save him, but for every second he's been good to you, he's spent a day causing nothing but suffering, and I know he'll do so again. I couldn't save him before and I want to save him now, but I don't know how... and I can't let him hurt anyone else.
A rage induced scream came from below as Goku felt Gohan's power rise like an angry wave.
"So this is it!?" Gohan sneered towards him. "This is where it all goes?! I don't care anymore!" he shouted. "I'm so tired of being afraid of you. I'm tired of you lording over me with that power of yours! I'm Commander Gohan of the Planet Trade! I am a saiyan warrior! Kill me! I should have died with some honour when I first met you! So do it!"
I wish there was another way.
"Come on then! Do it!"
The words called out to him, he could see the anger on Gohan's face, the same hateful gaze he'd seen the first day he'd seen him.
Putting his hands in front of himself, Goku began to gather energy.
"Kame" Shifting his arms back, the blue orb formed in his palms. "Hame" Finally, with precision, he thrust his arms down "HA!"
No matter what happens Gohan, I wish you knew how much I loved you.
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Gohan saw the blast forming, his mind spiking again as he tried to cope with what he was feeling, both feeling Goku forming the energy and his emotions. In his own body he felt anxiety, quickly turning into terror. This was it, no more running, no more begging or pleading.
Forming two great spheres of purple energy in his hands, this was his last chance, there was little ability to resist but he would.
"Kamehame...HA!"
"Calamity Blaster!"
The world became bright, saturated in light. The earth around them fragmented and splintered as debris scattered into the winds around them. It was clear the moment the beams connected however, that the Kamehameha was the superior of the two attacks, its progress seemed only slowed by the purple wave, which was being forced from the sky by Goku's assault.
Eyes looking into death, Gohan felt his body tensing, just as it'd tensed when Slug ripped his arm off. Just as it'd tensed when Raditz tore his face open. Everything he had went into the beam now, a wave of purple flushing through into the blue, only slowing its advance yet further.
I am a saiyan warrior. I refuse to die like this.
You can't even stand? Be a saiyan, learn to die on your feet! Paragus's words rang through his mind again.
Finally, all that was left to defend himself with were his hands, the last of the Calamity Beam had been drained, along with his reserves. Somehow, he felt himself holding on against the tide. His thoughts didn't drift to Turles, Paragus, Raditz or Slug in that moment. The tired, worn body of Gohan pressed ahead, hearing something he never thought he would.
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He was sitting in front of a book, his tiny hands on the pages. His mother had insisted since the moment he could form words that he read, she pressed him on it all the time. Now with this science book in front of him, he was preparing to be the scholar she always dreamed he'd be.
"Gohan. Dinner's ready! Time to eat!"
Someone he never recognized in his life approached in a strange vehicle, stopping outside the pleasant little home.
It was... his grandfather? The mountain of a man walked out of the car, grin on his face.
"Hey! Its my grandson!"
"Grandpa!" Gohan shouted excitedly, running over to him.
"Dad," Chi-Chi said, emerging from the house looking concerned. "What are you doing here?"
"I can't come by and see my family once in a while?" the Ox King announced with a grin. "Besides, I thought I should bring by some gifts for Gohan to help with his studies!"
His mother smiled approvingly.
From the woods, Goku emerged within minutes.
"Hey! Hey Chi-Chi, how is Gohan's studies going?"
The young boy turned to his mother with a big grin.
"They're going great. He's just the smartest little boy in the whole world," she idolized.
Goku felt himself swell with pride, noting his father in law holding a camera.
"Why don't we get one with all three of you together," he announced, smiling broadly.
"Hey Gohan, come here," Goku said, reaching down and plucking the small boy up into his arms, posing in front of the camera his father-in-law was wielding.
Chi-Chi took her place next to them, smiling widely, nudging Goku to do the same in the direction of the camera.
"Don't forget to smile Gohan when Grandpa said cheese."
"I won't!" Gohan grinned.
"Cheese!"
In the flash, suddenly the world became hot. The light from the camera becoming blue.
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Finally it was overwhelming him, the blast was pushing through him, his defences crumbling, his power drained. The memory being a pleasant escape from all of this, it was the first time since his childhood he remembered the happy world he'd come from, instead of revulsion he felt loss. Above him, the man who held him so proudly in his arms now was the agent of his destruction. Pain shot through his heart as he realized his father was going to kill him.
Something began to break behind his eyes, behind everything. Suddenly the life lived just to survive, the life lived through sacrificing others for his own gains, felt increasingly hollow, increasingly pointless, increasingly empty.
He'd lost his life thirteen years ago.
Inside, even as his father's beam tried to destroy him, he felt as if somehow, in some strange sense, he was trying to save him.
Eyes pierced through the light, his mind piercing through the energy, looking through the beam itself, looking into the eyes of the saiyan on the other side, looking into his eyes. He felt Goku's grief, he felt it ripping at the man's heart. His eyes could visualize what he knew was there, tears.
I can't hold on.
Unable to hold on any longer, something inside Gohan snapped.
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Something held on for Gohan, something wouldn't allow the Kamehameha to push ahead, to finish what he'd started. He'd promised himself the moment he started this he couldn't hold back, this was it. Chi-Chi would never forgive him, perhaps he'd never forgive himself, but he saw the same look in Gohan's eyes as he saw in Frieza's, more than once.
It was painful watching Gohan struggle, he felt every moment like he should pull back, as if somehow drawing this out would leave room to talk to Gohan. But there was no more talking, they'd both said what had to be said, they'd both aired what they were.
"You don't care about any of it because I'm a monster to you. Well I at least deserve recognition for being the best monster I could be!"
Those words would haunt his nightmares for the rest of his life. Those were the words that cemented this. Goku had seen so much suffering, so much death, at the hands of monsters like Frieza and Cell that he couldn't do it again. There were countless millions who Gohan had sent into the afterlife already. Vegeta had been reformed by his honour, by his eventual love of Bulma, by his willingness to be disciplined.
Gohan had none of that. It was like dealing with a rabid animal, he had no control, even trying to kill his sparring partner for being the same race as someone who'd harmed him before. He was vengeful, spiteful, and worst of all he was proud of everything he'd done.
He felt Gohan beginning to slip on the other end of the attack. This was it, it was too late to go back now. It didn't surprise him as he felt his eyes beginning to water, tears rolling down his cheeks. The very thing he'd been afraid of for all these years, his son being dead, was going to happen by his own hand.
"I'm sorry Gohan." He heard himself whisper, and it was a painful whisper.
But then something happened, he felt his beam almost buckle in a moment as a scream echoed out from the other side. It was the same as the day he'd fought Raditz. The hidden power his son had always possessed from before he could walk or talk it came alive in that instance. Suddenly his wave stopped entirely, slowly congealing at the base of where the attack was destined, forming into a sphere of bright blue energy, suspended in space.
Below, a golden aura held the energy in place. Standing there trembling with his mouth open, his face written with grief, and with golden hair and blue eyes, Gohan held firm.
"Gohan?" The words were in complete disbelief.
Suddenly the blue energy was sent hurtling back towards its point or origin, only at the last second did Goku manage to avoid it.
As soon as he did, looking up, he only saw the flash of a fist, connecting with him violently, sending him now spiralling towards the earth, his body forming a sonic boom before the crash. Having landed back first, Goku lay sprawled out, his face looking up seeing the almost animal like beast descend on him.
Gohan landed on him, knees first, before driving his fist into Goku's face. Then again, then again. Both fists rapidly punching faster and harder with every blew after the last. Goku felt blood filling his mouth before the last blow finally hit.
All he could hear was heavy breathing as he finally opened his eyes once again, above him Gohan looked completed exhausted, having spent everything to survive, to attack, to transform. The super saiyan in front of him grasped him by his now torn fighting gi, struggling to almost move. His hand was burnt, Goku noticed, clearly from putting everything into rejecting the Kamehameha wave and making this attack.
Golden hair turned black as Gohan hunched over a moment later, beginning to tremble.
"Y...you nearly... k-killed me," his son finally choked, his words desperate for more air.
Goku felt something swell in his own throat, in his own chest as his heart began to race. Gohan was... crying?
It was clear in that instant that the teenager couldn't hold on anymore, sobbing like a wreck as he looked down at his father. Goku couldn't respond, there was no way to, to deny it would be a lie, to embrace the truth would hurt too much.
Finally however, Gohan buried his head in Goku's gi, his body making choked convulsions as he sobbed, at some points trying to say something, but being unable to do so.
For Goku, his own pain was concealed in this moment, but only by the fact that he felt for the first time like he'd seen his son again.
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A/N: A super sized, super saiyan chapter it would seem. Don't expect a huge change in Gohan's character quite yet. He's really good at fucking up situations -.-
Anyway, let me know what you think :)