Disclaimer, in case it wasn't obvious. I don't own Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, or really any other property. Thank you.

The Long Road

Chapter 6: The Mirror

A Super Saiyan.

Gohan had become a Super Saiyan. This made things much more complicated.

For Goku, this had quickly twisted into a kind of nightmare. What had King Piccolo, Garlic, Raditz, Nappa, Frieza, the Androids, and Cell done to him? Had they really made him lose so much faith in people that he had been unable to see the struggles that his own son was going through? What's worse, had they made him so cold that now his solution to villains was always the most rash?

Gohan had made him mad, furious even. He'd tried to really kill Piccolo, he showed Goten complete disrespect, and they'd finally had the inevitable confrontation that had been brewing between the two since the moment they met. Instead of being the bigger man, instead of trying to understand Gohan, instead of realizing his son was lashing out in frustration, he'd become the distributor of justice. Vegeta had gone through much of what Gohan had, but he'd never had to confront him on it, because Vegeta obviously wasn't his son.

To say his face didn't hurt right now however, after the multiple blows Gohan had landed, would certainly not be true. That pain was hardly able to compare to how miserable and guilty he felt.

Still clutching onto him Gohan was finally beginning to stop, his breathing was still heavy however as he tried to calm himself down. His hands were still shaking as he grasped the orange and blue fabric of Goku's clothing.

Finally, moving his arm up and placing it on Gohan's shoulder, Goku tried to say something. But just what could he say?

Sorry I just nearly killed you Gohan, good job being a super saiyan though. Yea, that's just the best thing to say right now. I'm starting to think Vegeta was right when he called me an idiot all the time.

"Gohan."

The labouring teenager didn't respond at first, as if afraid to look up at him or respond.

"Gohan, I know you aren't perfect. I think I just proved I'm not either. Losing you was the worst day of my life, it was the worst day of Chi-Chi's life."

"You nearly killed me," Gohan finally repeated, his voice tired and strained.

"... I did," Goku finally responded. The words left his own lips with great difficulty, still being burdened with his thoughts.

Strangely, there was finally something he hadn't expected. The tired, worn teenager slowly, but sure, started to laugh.

Gohan's head finally raised, he looked exhausted, just as Goku had expected, but there was an ironic smile on his face.

"You're more of a saiyan than I gave you credit for," Gohan finally said, slowly getting off of Goku and trying to make himself look presentable, though he slipped when he tried to stand up, falling on his back briefly before struggling again to get up. He grasped his father's hand and helped him up a moment later.

More of a saiyan than he thought? What does that mean?

"However Kakarot, I am a first class saiyan warrior, and if need be to complete my mission, I would kill even my own brother."

They were words from 13 years ago, from his own brother Raditz.

Great, Gohan thinks I'm as ruthless as Raditz, fantastic. The thought was of course, sardonic.

"Gohan, you have to understand-"

"That you'll never let me leave here. Or you'll kill me," Gohan responded statically. "... I'd rather not die."

He's afraid. He's so afraid he broke down there after I nearly killed him.

"Hey, you two." Piccolo finally said from the side. "If this homicidal saiyan family ritual is over, we aren't done training yet."

Reluctantly Goku turned to Piccolo.

"Think you can keep it under control this time Gohan?"

There was a pause from his son, who seemed to think seriously about it for a moment while staring at Piccolo.

"... Of course, Kakarot."

The words left the teenager's mouth with a small hint of sincerity, but it was more the product of fear than anything.

Well, that's at least a better attitude then before.

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Seven Hours Later:

Everywhere hurt, Gohan determined. That damned Namek was still stronger than he was, but worse yet he'd proved how right he was about him being sloppy by 'lowering' his power level to the same as his own when they fought. It was half-impossible to land a blow most of the time, raw cunning had worked in their duels a few times, but often things ended up being just a painful lesson to learn.

Now as he stood outside of the house his 'family' called home, he felt cautious.

Goten had been completely freaked out by the big argument and clash between him and Kakarot.

He'd been absolutely terrified as he felt death's grip on him for the first time in years. It'd driven him over the edge, a natural instinct kicking in. It wasn't his time to die.

Over the years, over the billions of bodies Gohan had set ablaze in the funeral pyre that was the Planet Trade, Gohan had heard of hundreds of stories of the next life. Each one was different, but there was a core element to them. The righteous would be treated well, and the wicked would be cast down into some form of Hell.

It haunted him, because despite destroying their lives, despite taking their worlds from them, and despite murdering them, Gohan knew that somehow they would have their revenge on him when he died. In the next life they would all be waiting there for him, they would look at everything he ever did, and they'd look to why he did it.

And he knew his fate would be to join the move vile of the wicked. Survival was no excuse, career was no excuse, but it was too late for him. No amount of 'good' would ever redress the balance for what he'd done.

Living with Kakarot and Chi-Chi made it even more uncomfortably clear of where his fate resided.

I cannot die.

Death would mean judgement. There was nowhere he could flee to if he passed to avoid the misery of the fables and legends he consistently found. The fate he'd been cursed with so many times would be well earned.

But there was more pain to it, how else could he have achieved transformation? He knew it was being lost in that pain that caused his transformation into one of the saiyans of legend. It was his memory, the memory he'd felt from years ago, before anything he thought he could clearly remember at all. It was the memory of where that photograph in his room had come from. The same, happy man holding him in that picture had tried to kill him. That memory had been before he'd turned into what he was, it'd been from when he was innocent. The amount of pain he'd had to have caused him must have been unimaginable to push Kakarot into that. It was the first time he really, honestly felt guilt for causing pain to someone, barring perhaps Chi-Chi. It was a terrible sense of loss.

His plans on leaving had obviously become postponed, the moment he'd survived Kakarot's attack that had been the case. There had been something that broke for him, inside. Kakarot had behaved like a saiyan, just like Paragus, or Turles, but it was all the more crushing that he did, because Gohan knew he wasn't supposed to.

"Gohan! Get inside! Its time for dinner!"

Kakarot and Goten, despite having trained just as hard and just as long, had seemed completely fine, barely tired at all. Gohan on the other hand, not only felt like he'd been through a a space ship collision, but also felt beaten to hell. For those two not to feel this kind of exhaustion they must have... done this all the time.

Walking inside, he noticed the huge pile of food waiting for him, and Chi-Chi smiling broadly at him.

"I made everyone's favourite, so come sit down and eat with us," she ordered, more then offered.

Quietly he sat down, next to Kakarot, before taking the first bowl of food he could find and beginning to feast.

For the first moment he sat down, his fear of death spiked briefly... but it subsided. Strangely, Chi-Chi had managed to make this space comfortable. It was however, very awkward. He shared a few glances with Kakarot, and then with Goten. The events of earlier in the day were not to be mentioned, and for good reason.

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Satan City:

The city had been in a panic for days now, ever since the terrible lights had flickered through the skies. Riots had even broken out at one point. The people had been terrified that it was the return of Cell, or the return of the Saiyans. Everyone had been encouraged to keep calm of course, but that had failed completely.

When the news had reported a space pod, like the saiyans had been found in, had been seen in the sky, panic struck the city again.

But for one household, the news was far worse. They knew full well a shit hadn't just been seen, one had been located and brought into government custody.

Standing in her father's room, Videl could only watch on as her father sat in front of a screen, watching the only images of the Saiyans known, the huge bald one and the short one with strange hair. He seemed to almost be trembling.

"Father, is everything alright? This isn't about the saiyan scare is it?"

"It isn't a scare, they found one of those pods outside Satan City the other day."

Then the entire world might be in danger? But, that would be a disaster?!

"Then you have to stop them, right dad? Just like you stopped Cell."

Her father seemed to be almost frozen as she told him this, looking at the projected picture of the two saiyans and trying to keep his cool.

"Well Videl, it's not that easy. These guys wiped out the entire earth's military in under an hour-"

"Just like Cell."

Videl was getting frustrated, what had happened to her father to make him so skittish? He was the most powerful man alive, probably the most powerful man in history.

I want to try my hand at fighting these saiyans, I can prove myself too, I'll show dad and everyone else that I'm not just his daughter, but a hero too.

When her father confirmed the pod she knew it was the same people who'd destroyed East City all those years ago, Videl had already made her mind up. The main thing that was surprising was his clear reluctance to engage these aliens. It was something she just couldn't understand.

"Yea, well, there isn't any signs of these aliens right now. But I'll tell you what sweet-pea, if they show up your old man will take care of those rotten aliens. Then when I'm done, I'll kick them so hard I'll send them back to whatever planet they came from!" he declared, standing up proudly.

It was hollow and somehow Videl knew it deep down. All the same she nodded towards him.

I'm going to start looking around.

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The Next Morning:

The new geological formations to the east of Satan City weren't too hard to miss, it was very clear that canyons didn't form out of nowhere.

Whatever caused this had to have been insane. It was the destruction just like whenever Cell 'fought' anyone.

Maybe her father was right, maybe it was all just tricks. After all, he beat Cell didn't he?

Videl walked through the kilometres of torn landscape, looking for any sign of... anything that was missed. Finally, she found two things, a glove, and what appeared to be a remote control.

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Two Weeks Later:

This officially marked the longest time since he'd killed someone in almost thirteen years. He knew it because of the nature of his work, especially in such a busy organization as Cooler ran. There wasn't much in terms of leave, and when he was COO, even when he wasn't on planet, he was dealing with 'failures and traitors'.

It wasn't a fact he was exactly sharing with his 'family'. The amount of time these people spent training was unbelievable however. It was almost every day, except days that Chi-Chi insisted otherwise. He was finally starting to get used to it even.

The biggest change he thought was the fact he was learning to 'sense' the world around him, the flow of energy and power in the very air, using that to read not only where his opponents were, but how strong they were. It was only when he was beginning to master the skill, that he realized just how underwhelming he'd been before becoming a Super Saiyan, and even as a Super Saiyan, how far behind he was.

Today however, as he got out of the shower, he stopped for the first time in months. Turning towards the mirror and looking into it Gohan almost seemed to look for something. He wanted to see who was staring back, as if somehow to double check that the same person was. His eyes were getting soft, they were still serious as ever, but they were losing the cold chill they once had. In some ways it was irritating.

There were the eyes thousands had stared into before he took their lives. Now what were they?

His little brother always wanted to hang out with him, no matter how much he didn't want to hang out with his little brother... at first. Everything was a game to the kid, everything. Whether it be his studies, training, or actual play. The boy had always wanted him to be involved in everything as well, eager to find the brother he'd always known about but never knew. Over the last few weeks even Gohan would admit he was beginning to have the little tumour known as Goten growing on him.

For his mother? What more could he say? She was always supportive. It was a completely different interaction than he saw with Kakarot and Goten. She was always much more domineering towards them, powerful in will. But to him she was always looking for a way to keep him happy. It was beginning to make him feel guilty, because he knew the source of this was she was terrified she'd scare him away. She was terrified that he'd somehow leave again. In a sense she'd been right to worry, he had intended to go back, back into space.

I still do don't I?

The line in his decision before was becoming more and more blurry the longer he stayed. He wanted to train and get stronger, but as he did he found this life... appealing. It was absolutely terrifying to him, relying on others, and having others show him compassion. Everyone was polite, and showed their feelings so openly, care, happiness, joy, not just anger and disappointment. People's suffering wasn't used as entertainment.

But one thing he had to admit, he was getting bored some times. Training and playing with Goten was fun and all, but didn't it get repetitive? Back in space, there seemed almost like there was more to do 'off duty'. It wasn't always good, it wasn't always compassionate, in fact quite the opposite, but it was a system designed to be entertaining to the warriors in the organization. This life certainly lacked some of the opulence of his old.

The last thing to reflect on was Kakarot... his father. In some ways, despite how soft he seemed, Gohan had begun to realize in many ways he'd been wounded as he had. The loss of a child so young had clearly worn heavily on him. It was evident in almost all their short interactions. The crushing disappointment of how he'd come to them was even yet worse, but things were strangely getting better. Ironic given that the change in their relationship had come after Kakarot had nearly killed him. He found he was beginning to like certain aspects of his father. Apparently Piccolo and several others had once been his enemies, until he they began to 'like' him as well.

Goten had clearly inherited this trait from his father.

Looking into the mirror again, he just gazed down at the wreck of a body, it was crisscrossed with the reminders of terrible battle wounds. The price he paid in becoming a warrior, many of them from his youngest memories. Too slow and stupid to dodge, too scared to fight, these were the price he paid, some having been with him his whole life.

But the worst of all, when he looked in this damned mirror, when he looked at himself, he saw something that made him sick for the first time in years. He'd never had a family, the closest thing he'd ever had to family was the man who resembled his father, Turles. Their close appearance hadn't been lost on him.

The truth however, was in the reflection, he saw a monster. These people were so happy and peaceful, they'd wanted only the most simply things. There was no dramatic fear of going to Hell. This place had no intimidating organization keeping it in check, or a constantly fear of underlings attempting to subvert your authority or become stronger than you. It wasn't a den of monsters who thrived and flourished from destroying whole worlds.

This place, this family, was what he stole from others. This peaceful, happy existence had been stolen by him from more people than he could ever meet. He'd ended families just like this without a thought, a single energy blast towards a city left them in misery.

The monster that looked back at him in the mirror didn't feel regret, or remorse. Even as he contemplated these things, even as he questioned his own fate, his own guilt or feelings, Gohan realized that he only felt guilt for one reason. He was guilty for having now, what he stole from others. Having taken it away wasn't the crime, the crime was experiencing what had been taken.

Idly, before getting dressed, he traced one particularly terrible scar on his chest from when he'd had a Xenak warrior punch his ribs in and clawed his chest. That'd been a good week in the regeneration tank.

Today apparently they were going, as a family, to some lake where Chi-Chi and Goku went once a year during the warm season. Goten was coming as well and the expectation was that he would go. It still felt foreign that he would be invited. It still felt strange that this was his family, no matter how much they tried to include him.

But that foreign feeling was beginning to disappear. He even noticed the way they seemed to brighten up when they caught him smiling. A smile that betrayed how he was beginning to feel being around these... happy people.

Note to self, smile less.

The thought came to him, ironically, with a smile, as he stepped out of the bathroom, as soon as he did he bumped into his mother.

She immediately smiled back at him.

"Good morning Gohan," she greeted pleasantly, before walking towards the living area. "The laundry is almost done, be sure you're ready to go."

Gohan then felt something, two new powers, outside.

It wasn't Kakarot, and it wasn't Goten.

"Mom, stay inside," he said cautiously.

"Uhm, what?" she asked.

Instinctively his tail wrapped around his waist, walking towards the door and opening it.

Outside stood a boy with purple hair, and a short man with black hair.

The man stared at Gohan before noting his tail and smirking.

"So you're the weakling I felt arrive on earth a few weeks ago. A weakling at Kakarot's home? Well that's nothing new I suppose."

Gohan narrowed his eyes. Weakling? The term was still something he wasn't used to. At least Kakarot and his friend Piccolo had used different terminology.

"Are you here to cause trouble?" came the question from Gohan.

Strangely, the thought of them being here to take away what he'd come to have over the last few weeks made him tense, nervous.

Trunks looked around briefly as the two men squared off.

"Hey dad, where is Goten?"

"Quiet boy." Vegeta immediately responded.

They know Kakarot and Goten. And he mentions Kakarot as his real name. That means this must be...

Stepping forward and dropping to one knee, Gohan lowered his head.

"It is an honour to be in your presence, Prince Vegeta."

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"So there are other saiyans?"

"A few." Turles responded looking ahead as the city in front of them burned like a funeral pyre. The skies, once purple, now turned black from the sheer volume of destruction which had taken place across the planet's surface.

"Are they like Paragus?"

"No, likely not. The last I heard there were Kakarot, and Prince Vegeta."

"Prince Vegeta?"

"The last of the royalty. If you are ever so fortunate to meet him, show him the same respect you would show Cooler."

Below, several screams could be heard from the flames, Turles opened his palm as an energy wave formed, and within seconds, the inferno below grew yet stronger in the screams of its occupants.

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To Gohan, the smirk on Vegeta's face said it all. It was smug, like he'd expect any nobility to be.

"What is your name and station, boy?"

"I am Commander Gohan, attache of the Armoured Forces, Member of the Board and C.O.O. of the Planet Trade, humble servant to-"

Before Gohan could continue with any other official introduction, he felt a gloved hand swipe across his face at high speed, sending him crashing into the ground. The look on Vegeta's face had gone from smug, to an irritated anger.

Why?

"Boot-lick." Vegeta just remarked with disgust, before walking towards his home.

"Kakarot's Woman! Where is Kakarot-"

Goku was standing behind Vegeta, not looking particularly impressed.

"Any particular reason you just struck my son, or are you just that way with everyone today?" Goku asked seriously from behind, crossing his arms.

Vegeta smiled, turning his head slightly.

"Has he told you what Member of the Board, or C.O.O. means Kakarot? I understand you and your woman can be rather slow sometimes."

Gohan stood up, looking at Vegeta very, very quietly, his eyes burning with a kind of... resentment he'd not felt in years.

"Prince Vegeta-"

"Don't call me that." Vegeta said, his face reviling Gohan. "You're no better than Frieza. Worse, you are a traitor to your own kind."

Ah, so the Prince knows the truth of what I am.

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A/N: I find this story much more difficult to write than TheCatalyst, my other story. I really enjoy doing it, but I always feel the need to edit and rewrite. It never feels right to me until it does. Which is one reason why this story is a weekly update, instead of twice a week update.

And despite all the reflection this chapter, I wouldn't expect Gohan to make a drastic change of character yet. Its one thing to reflect, its another to change entirely.

Answering reviewers:

Eveline: Goku has good reason to. Gohan IS a villain, he's killed billions of people, he's done terrible things others. He even tried to kill Piccolo (He was just too weak to pull it off). It doesn't mean Goku did the right thing, but from his position this looked like every other time he ever came across a monster before. Only this one was concealed in the body of his son. Its going to take Goku time, lots of time, to fully understand Gohan.

Its going to take Gohan even longer to evolve past what he is. Right now he can reflect, but he's not changed at his core yet. Even the guilt he feels isn't that he's killed billions, but that he's living like they had right now. There is a major difference.

Jarno: Broly was killed at the age of six by Cooler. Cooler did not kill an Adult Broly.

But killing a Legendary Super Saiyan is hard... perhaps the job was left half finished?

Aoj95: I am glad you are enjoying it.

Guest: Thank you.

Horacioquinter0: Updates will come every Sunday (hopefully). This story is REALLY hard to write, so sometimes it may take an extra week to churn out a chapter.

Full Power: The thing is, look at everything Vegeta went through and he never became a Super Saiyan. The people on Earth, Piccolo, Vegeta, Goku, are freaks by the Galaxy's standard. In the galaxy Frieza was the strongest being in the universe, along with Cooler and King Cold. Its not so easy to just become a Super Saiyan.

Gohan also never trained too hard. His power is largely natural, and born of a near constant state of being fatally wounded from the time he was a boy, until he was 13. In fact, for 3 years he's even been relatively unchallenged, making his power stagnant before he came to Earth.

Ky111: As you can see, the cowardice doesn't just stem from a will to live, but a fear of being judged by the billions he's slaughtered. He's afraid of being powerless over his fate. Ironically, he's always been powerless over his own fate, even now.

See you guys next update!