Chapter 2: Geet'em, Got'em, Gordom
Makino had locked off the SGS Garage to Satoru and Sakura, so taking GoGo Dump and GoGo Marine was out of the question. Marine was out of the question to begin with. It's a SUBMARINE. I don't care if it moves on land; it's not going to help them. With worse coming to worse, they were forced to take the only mode of transportation available. Natsuki's rollerblades.
Sakura skated forth while Satoru held onto a rope wrapped around her from the Scope Shot, riding on a skateboard he'd taken from downtown. "Chief, are you sure we're supposed to be doing this?" Sakura asked, "We don't even know where we're going!"
"The Bouken Chip's compass was pointing us either northeast or southwest!" Satoru said, "So we go in either of those directions! And if one doesn't work, we go in the other!"
"But why am I the one with the rollerblades?" panted Sakura.
"They're pink," replied Satoru, "You think I'd wear them?"
Miles behind them, three Kamen Riders, one with a tuning fork, one with a cell phone, and one with something called a Rouzer were following them. They had managed to cram themselves onto one motorbike lent to them by a red kabutomushi-themed Rider. "Riding the path of heaven, king of the road, Tendou Souji's Motorbike Eden will get you where you need to go!"
"I told you, Kabuto's bike goes at the speed of light!" complained Faiz, "They're on a skateboard and a pair of rollerblades!"
"I can see that…" said Blade sarcastically, "You can't miss her. Oh, those legs. Thing of beauty."
"If we're moving at the speed of light, then how come we're BEHIND?" yelled Hibiki, "We should be able to pass them!"
"I'll get behind her anytime," said Blade as he looked at Sakura's buttocks, firmly pressed against the khaki fabric of her skirt.
"I think you're getting aroused…" said Hibiki with an air of venom.
"He's already got a Rouzer," said Faiz, "Now shut it, Tambourine Boy, we're kicking this thing to the Next Level!"
"I play the Taiko Drums, you fool," said Hibiki.
Faiz let out a whoop and cranked the gear. Blade laughed.
On a cliff somewhere near the Same Beach Where All Sentai Beach Fights Take Place, Arch Priest "Sir Pope Hat" Gajya had hijacked the Gordom Body Parts in the section in between chapters that you can find in the Author's Cut of this fanfic. He was humming himself a tune as he attached the body parts together.
"The leg bone's connected to the hip bone, the hip bone's connected to the spine bone, and the spine bone's connected to the head bone, Gordom Warrior Arise!" With the Brain, Heart, Skull, Leg, Foot, Penis, Arm, Hand, and Sword of Gordom, the Gordom Warrior looked very awkward, because he had only one arm and one leg. Gajya smashed some of his Karths into rubble and used the rest to give him an extra body part. At that moment, Satoru and Sakura pulled up.
"Another Gordom monster?" asked Sakura, "Let's go!"
"I'm the leader!" Satoru said, "I give orders!"
"And I'm the Sub-Chief," replied Sakura, "Second in command."
"She can be the chief of my sub anytime…" said Blade from the background, 50 miles away.
"AdVENTURE for TreaSURE BOUKENGER!" chanted the female voice that comes on before the henshin. Satoru and Sakura transformed into their Accel Suits with a call of "Boukenger, Start Up!"
"START UP!" orgasmed the female voice.
"Where the hell is that coming from?" Satoru asked he pulled down the set piece behind them. He saw Takaoka Eiji, his hair white and his eyes glowing, teeth out and pants down, sitting on a rotating camera with Houka Ozu, her vampire teeth showing and MagiPlaid jacket burst open, sitting on his lap.
"…is this really supposed to be happening?" Sakura asked in amazement.
"Put the set piece back up!" Houka screamed as she did just that.
Satoru and Sakura took out their Bouken Javelin and Hydro Shooter, delivering a barrage of shots to the Gordom Warrior, wearing him down severely. Sakura's fist shone aglow with pink energy, indicating she was frustrated, and delievered a blow to the Penis of Gordom. It's a powerful weapon, but if it's hit, all its defense systems are negated. The Gordom Warrior fell.
"Maybe I should've left that part out," Gajya thought as he grabbed his ancient crotch concealed beneath the Pope-like robes. Sir Pope Hat dashed away from the scene, leaving Satoru and Sakura to continue on their quest.
"We're not taking the rollerblades again," Sakura pouted.
"Of course you're not," said a Jaryuu grunt approaching them, "You have a court case to settle with us."
"As what?" asked Satoru.
"Witnesses," hissed the Jaryuu grunt.
Another plagiarism case with Dan Brown? Already done that. It's not what you expect.
NEXT CHAPTER!
The SHOT Organization is being sued for using the name "GekiRyuKen", which is too similar to Geki of the Zyuranger's "RyuGekiKen". Satoru and Sakura get help from one of the jury members on their quest, and start to wonder what an albino man has to do with anything. This chapter has been brought to you by Tendou Souji's Motorbike Eden.