So look me in the eyes

Tell me what you see

Perfect paradise

Tearing at the seams

Bad Liar, Imagine Dragons

Z

The engine of the Camaro was just as loud as the Road Runner, but it caught a lot more attention in the narrow streets with the bright, flashy color. Everywhere we went, people turned their heads as we passed.

"Still think this is subtle?" I asked Han. He shrugged good-naturedly in the passenger seat. "What do you think about taking the Camaro further out of town?"

"Trying to escape?" He teased as he popped a peanut in his mouth.

"I want some space to practice," I answered as I reached over to steal some of his snacks. He dumped some in his palm to make it easier for me to grab them.

"Practice?"

"I want a fucking rematch. I need to practice." A smile broke out on his full lips. "I'm serious. That guy I raced against sucked. I heard your friends talking. I want to beat a real driver."

I felt like I was on top of the world after my win, until the next day when Han's parts guy wandered in with a few things he needed for the Camaro. He sat down for a beer and immediately started spilling every piece of Mexico City Underworld gossip he knew, starting with the other driver. My understanding of Spanish was getting better, so when he started telling Han about the newcomer that talked a lot of trash but could never back it up, I understood it all. It was hard not to deflate a little.

"He didn't suck." He paused as I pulled up to a red light, stopping to watch a shopkeeper lock up for the night. "He was-."

"Not half as good as you are," I answered when he trailed off.

Han didn't say anything, but I wasn't really expecting him to. We'd fallen into a weird rhythm since the race. People moved through his little garage constantly while he worked; apparently, they hadn't known he was back in town until the races, and now they were flooding the place. He'd greet them, they'd throw around a few insults, and then the men would crowd around the Camaro admiring his handy work. I got the impression that Han was quite the mechanic as he stripped out the engine and painstakingly put it back together piece by piece.

He'd been eager to teach me how to work on the Road Runner, but the Camaro was different. He was doing almost all of it himself. I felt like a prop looking pretty sitting in the corner of his garage while the revolving door of visitors kept rotating. I felt gross when I saw the street racers look me up and down and then look back at Han. At least, he didn't tolerate them trying to make comments about my body to him, but it didn't help anything.

This whole situation made me feel on edge. The urgency in the way he worked made me think that he knew something I didn't. It was like he was working on a deadline. For what, I couldn't figure out, unless it was just him skipping town to the next destination. I had the thought that I should leave before he had a chance to leave me, but I couldn't do it for one reason: Dominic Torretto.

These racers showing up to Han's, kissing his ass, procuring expensive custom parts for him from every contact they had, and trying to be his best friend all seemed to be there for one real reason. They all wanted an in with Dom. These guys all tried to present themselves as the kings of the Mexico City scene, but really they were name-dropping and groveling for attention and I was filing every bit of it away in my head for later.

"Go straight here." Han directed. It pulled me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I asked, shaking myself out of my daze.

"Don't turn." I listened and drove straight past the turn to Han's apartment building when the light turned green."We'll go a little out of town"

He nonchalantly tossed his snacks in his mouth as he directed me to the outskirts of the city. We drove for what felt like forever until we ended up on a long, flat road surrounded by what looked like farmland. The sun had long since set, so it was hard to tell.

"Drive." He told me.

"I am," I replied in confusion.

"Put your foot down. It's a straight shot. Get used to going fast." He suggested breezily.

"Okay? Are we going somewhere specific?" I asked as I shifted up and gear and started speeding up.

The Camaro responded beautifully. It was a heck of a lot faster than when he started. I pushed the gas pedal down further, causing the car to lurch forward. I could feel my heart leap into my throat as I watched the speedometer needle climb higher.

"Do you always have to have a destination?"

"I don't know." I felt a flare of annoyance at Han, but it melted a little when I felt his hand slide around my thigh.

"You maxed at the speedometer yet?" He asked as his thumb traced a lazy circle in my leg.

I glanced down at the dial. I was surprised to see how far up that needle had slid. I instinctively let off the gas. Han squeezed my thigh as a warning. I slammed my foot back down.

I felt like I was on the edge of control. I had never been behind the wheel of something so powerful. I felt like I had to push it further, so I did. A giddy excitement spread through my chest as my heart started pounding even faster. It felt like everything around me was moving in slow motion.

I caught the sight of another car ahead of me, Without thinking, I instinctively slid around them, crossing the center lines into the opposing lane, before I moved over in front of them. I felt Han's fingers brush against my thigh again. He didn't seem rattled by the move, but I didn't expect him to be; it was almost just out on this strip of silent highway.

"You don't panic." He commented.

"What's panicking going to do?"

I kept going, pushing the Camaro until Han told me not to push it any harder. Everything around us was passing in a dark blur as we rocketed past. For the first time in a few days, I felt some of the tension ease off and began to relax.

"How does it feel?" He asked as I downshifted back to a reasonable speed when the road started to curve and we started to run into other cars.

I was feeling my heart in my throat like it was in during the police chase that started it all. I was excited, I was terrified, and I felt the best I had in a long time. I started weaving between the few cars on the road. I felt a thrill when the cars I passed flew backward in my rearview like they were going in reverse as I pushed the Camaro back towards its top speed.

"How do you ever drive close to the speed limit?" I didn't look at him, but I was sure shrugged. "I never want to stop."

"You don't have to." I imagined a slide uptick to the corner of his full lips. His hand slid further up my thigh and I let my imagination go wild with the possibilities. For the first time in days, it felt like the beginning of our relationship when everything was new and exciting, and not awkward.

I turned down the first side road at a probably not smart speed and pulled over behind some plants that completely hid the bright orange Camaro from the road. Han knew what I had in mind and reached across the car, wrapping his fingers in my hair. I slammed my lips down on his in a rough kiss that he eagerly returned. It didn't take long for Han to pull me over the shifter and help me turn so I was straddling him.

This fairy tale was ending quickly, but it didn't mean I wasn't going to get what I wanted out of it.

Z

"We have to talk about leaving at some point," Han muttered as I settled into bed.

I sighed as laid my head back against his shoulder. My stomach dropped out and I felt a wave of nausea from the panic start to rise in my throat.

I knew this was coming, but it didn't feel good. Where was I going to go? Was I going to go there totally alone? Did I want to stay in Mexico by myself after this? Could I afford to go anywhere else?

"Today was, um, nice." I started slowly before I trailed off.

I wasn't really sure what else to call it. I spent most of it observing his little race rat friends pretending to read a Stephen King novel and trying to fade into the background. It was boring. Getting to try out the Camaro for real was not. Spending a few hours locked in the Camaro in our little hideaway was definitely not boring. It all balances out I guess.

"I-I just think I want to end this day on a good note. Just ride the high a little bit longer, take a nap, and then I'll pack and be out tomorrow."

"Huh." He breathed out.

"Huh, is not the reply I expected." I felt tears begin to prick at my eyes.

I did not want to cry over this. It wasn't a real breakup. I knew it was coming, I was just so scared. I was feeling way too many things at one time with the unknown of walking away from him and being completely alone again.

I knew wasn't ready to go back to LA and face everything. I couldn't handle the pity of everyone, but Brian that was going to be waiting for me. I was also going to be walking into a shit storm because of Ross's little lawyer friends that were trying to blow my cover. I'd be riding the desk forever if they managed it and that was more terrifying to me than going back undercover out in the field.

"I'm not asking you to leave." He told me.

All of the air in my lungs rushed out like a popped balloon. It was an embarrassing show of emotion, but I couldn't stop it. I didn't have to go back to LA.

"I'm sorry. I just- I'm not ready to go back to LA. I don't want things to go back to normal." A tear slid down my face, but I brushed it away quickly and then ran my fingers through my hair to hide the motion. "It's too soon. Things still aren't great over there- you know, legally."

He snorted.

"Will it ever be?" Han's tone was teasing.

"Yeah, they just have to clear it as justified. They're taking their time and wrapping up loose ends, but it was justified."

"What are you afraid of?" I could feel him looking at me in the dark. I knew we couldn't see each other, but I rolled over to face him. This was too personal a conversation to be had staring at the ceiling.

"I'm afraid of this being public. Of being in the center of a gigantic spotlight." I chewed my lip as the words came tumbling out. "I don't want to be under a microscope because of this. And, I will be, because people always talk. I also-kind of hate everything about LA."

"So don't go back," Han stated like it was the easiest thing in the world.

A laugh bubbled up and I was about to tell him it was ridiculous, but then I stopped to think. I could transfer. I could transfer to so many other branches all across the country. I could start fresh.

"I might not," I answered honestly. "I mean, the world's a big place. I want to see more of it."

"I was hoping you'd say that."

AN: Sorry for the infrequent updates. School is kicking my ass. I use writing for therapy, so I am hoping I can make time to write.

I'm also really excited about this next stage. Things will pick up soon.