So join me in this bed that I'm in
And push up on me and sweat, darling
So I'm gonna put my time in
I won't stop until the angels sing
Jump in that water, be free
Come South of the border with me
South of the Border, Ed Sheernan
Z
I slept miserably. I couldn't turn off my brain. The "what next" had always bothered me, but now it was even worse.
After a while, I couldn't take it anymore and snuck out of bed. I managed to get dressed and dig my travel guide out of my bag without waking Han. I felt like I was overstepping some boundaries, but I grabbed his keys and snuck out the door.
Turning the key over in the ignition of his Road Runner felt so very wrong, but I didn't care. It was three in the morning and I wasn't walking. The roar of the engine probably woke a few neighbors.
I drove to my favorite bar. It was in another district of the city, one that was not as quiet and reserved at this hour. People were everywhere swarming like ants. The loud laughter and music spilling out into the streets from the bars was warm and comforting to me. Breathing got a little easier.
My favorite bar was a small one, always full, but not as jam-packed as some of the other ones. I could find a table to nurse my drink and flip through my book to try to find the next step without being bothered. Plus, there was something homey about it. I came here a lot, especially on those nights when Han didn't come home.
The cold tequila felt like heaven as I sipped one of the best margaritas I'd ever had as I opened my book. I flipped through the glossy pages and tried to pick a city that sounded at least a little interesting to me. They all felt a little too much like tourist traps.
I ended up deciding on Puebla because it was closer than some of the other suggested cities and shoved the travel guide back into my purse. I didn't really care where I went, as long as I didn't have to go home. I wasn't ready to go back to office life yet.
I polished off my margarita as I pondered on all of the reasons why. LA had been one disappointment after the other. I wasn't the hotshot detective I thought I was. I got hired because my former boss had twisted someone high up's arm, and not off my own merit. I'd ruined my first ever case with the FBI. I was going to go home to pure ridicule.
I for sure wasn't going to go home to any family, and I wasn't even sure I was going to go home to friends. I hadn't heard from Brian in almost a week, but he had said he was struggling on the kidnapping case. A good friend probably would have called to check on him instead of taking that as a request for space.
I had a lot of work on myself to do. I'd been so used to being on my own or with people that didn't really care about me, that I didn't know how to react to Brian and Lisa. I didn't care if it was so early in the morning, I was calling Brian from the car.
Knowing the lights were about to turn on for last call, I made my way to the bar to get ahead of the crowds. I toyed with the idea of getting another drink, but decided to just pay and get out. I was finally starting to get tired enough to sleep and I was going to take advantage of that.
"Can I help you?" The bartender switched to English when he stepped over to help me.
"Can I just pay off my tab?" I slid him my debit card as he nodded his affirmation.
It felt like forever waiting for him to print the receipt. I saw him glance at me over his shoulder and then turn back to his computer. After another long stretch of waiting, he walked back over.
"Declined." He informed me crisply.
"Declined?" I hissed. He scratched at his goatee and shrugged.
"Declined, girl. You got another one?" He asked.
"That should have money on it." I was frantically adding in my head. I should have still gotten my paycheck. I was on paid leave. I should have had a lot of money in the bank.
"I mean you can try the ATM, but sometimes the banks will freeze accounts if they suspect fraud, especially in another county." He shrugged dismissively. His gaze shifted towards the people that were waiting to order and I knew I needed to hurry.
"I have a ten-dollar bill." I offered him the cash awkwardly. "US."
"I'll take it, but you need to get that figured out." He took the money that I offered. I nodded stiffly.
That was the very last bit of cash I had. If my account was frozen, then I was screwed. I kept mentally adding up what I had spent and money should be tighter than normal, but plenty for me to buy a drink at the bar.
My breathing was getting faster as I pushed through the crowds. I felt the impending panic attack coming on. I felt like I was drowning. I was dead focused on getting home and digging up all of my receipts, but something stopped me short.
In my panic, I almost forgot to pay attention to my surroundings. Almost. There was a cop car parked near the Road Runner. That wasn't enough to cause alarm, especially in an area that was bound to have bar fights and pickpocketing, except for the fact that the cop was still sitting in the car.
The panic started to die down. I started to feel a surge of adrenaline.
I smelled a stakeout. It was poorly done to put a uniformed officer so close to the car, but even in the dark, I could tell the man was very baby-faced and probably brand new to the force. They probably had a BOLO on the Road Runner and he was the first to run across it.
I probably should have gotten in a taxi, but I didn't. I technically wasn't doing anything wrong other than driving without a license, so I found an outdoor table at a nearby bar and settled in to wait. I had a feeling that the rookie would either give up because something else happened somewhere else in the city or call in backup.
I didn't have to wait very long before the sound of sirens echoed a few streets over. The rookie waited for a few more minutes, before activating his own lights and sirens and joining whatever chase Mexico City PD had going on. With him gone, I walked over and let myself in the car.
I was driving away when he made the block. He was passing me in the opposite lane and he had deactivated his lights and sirens. My heart leapt into my throat as we passed each other. I saw him staring through my window, but once he got a good look, he accelerated and drove away for good.
They weren't looking to impound the car or looking for me; they were actively searching for Han. No wonder staying in Mexico City wasn't an option anymore. No wonder he had taken me with him from Sayulita. The cops weren't looking for a couple or a woman traveling alone. He was using me to stay under the radar.
Z
The phone rang twice before Brian answered it. His greeting was crisp, and completely unlike him.
"I owe you an apology." I blurted before he could say anything else.
"For what?" He sounded distracted. It made his reply flat. He didn't sound like my favorite golden retriever puppy at all right now.
"I should have called. I haven't checked on you at all. I mean, you've done so much to check on me, and I haven't called you at all." He snorted.
"You know I'm alright." A little of his normal spark came back into his voice, but he still sounded tired. "Are you still good? Still seeing your boy-friend?" He drew out the word like an annoying little brother.
"We're about to split up."
"Oh. Are you upset?" Was I? I was going to miss the sex, but I was more upset about the change. It would suck for a week, but I'd resigned myself to it.
"I don't have any feelings for him, but it was nice to not be alone." I told him. "How are you though?"
He sighed. I could picture his tanned fingers running through his short blonde hair. His baby blues were probably lined with dark circles.
"I am out of ideas." He finally responded. "I've a wall at every turn of this bullshit case. We're out of time, but we're no closer to finding her."
"Is there a pattern with other cases? Or attempted kidnapping? This behavior doesn't come out of thin air." I was running through my checklist that I always used on investigations.
"Not in LA." He replied.
"Surrounding states? Vulnerable populations that might not have been reported? There's a starting point, and it's rarely this. I'm assuming all family checked out?"
"Kid was in foster care. Family is either dead or in jail. Foster parents were asleep. Well respected members of the community." He sighed deeply.
"Hits close to home, doesn't it?" I felt an ache in my chest from my own days in foster care. I was sure he felt the same from his. He had a lot rougher time in foster care than I did.
"Too close." Brian sounded like he had aged a hundred years.
"They gave me your entire file." I blurted before I could stop myself. "They wanted me to watch you after Toretto. It came from way up."
The truth tumbled out. All of it. All of the files I read. The whole mission. I was crying by the end of it.
"I'm sorry. I've defended you at every chance." I finally finished spilling my guts. There was dead silence on the other end of the line.
"Brian?" I asked after a solid minute of nothing.
"I-I knew. At least a little of it." He finally replied.
"I thought you did." I told him after a minute. "I met Dominic Toretto. In Sayulita."
I said it before I could stop myself, but I felt like of all people, Brian would get it.
"Not another word." He hung up.
I wasn't nervous after telling Brian. He wouldn't tattle on me to Penning. Besides, I had more pressing things to be nervous about, like my debit card.
I wasn't sure what exactly I was expecting after telling Brian. I felt better, though. I felt like an enormous weight had been lifted off my chest. I didn't want to keep secrets from Brian. I didn't really have anything to keep from him. I hadn't done anything wrong. After all, all I'd done was sleep with Toretto's street racer friend. I didn't know any information of value; everything was suspicion and conjecture. The worst I'd done was street race, and I wasn't planning on doing anything else.
Z
"You want me to do what now?" I clarified. "Go where with who?"
"I thought you'd be a little bit more excited." Han's spreading smile told me he was more than a little amused with my shock.
"You want me to do what?" I asked again. His eyebrows raised up behind his mirrored aviators. "I am a therapist."
"You can drive and I need another person." He replied smoothly. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the keys to the Road Runner. He let them dangle enticingly from his oil-covered fingers.
"If I get caught, I can't be a therapist anymore." I reminded. He shrugged nonchalantly in response.
"I wasn't sure you wanted to be a therapist anymore." The words flowed easily off his lips and I found myself wondering what all he had talked people into.
Was this the magnetic attraction that Brian talked about when he described Toretto's crew? Because it was about to be really hard to say no, and Han knew it. He wasn't asking me to do anything super illegal. Just move the Road Runner and have a nice road trip with a few stops along the way. It sounded practically innocent.
He was watching me like a hawk leaning back on the back bumper of the Road Runner. His eyes were hidden by his sunglasses and his posture was the perfect picture of nonchalant relaxation, but I wasn't buying it. He was on high alert, watching my face go through a thousand facial expressions as I tried to think of something to say.
"I haven't thought about being anything else." A lie; I'd spent the past few weeks pretending I was a street racer. I could easily go home and forget about that delusion, though.
"You need the money." Han replied smoothly, pulling a balled up piece of paper out of the pocket of his khakis.
I didn't need him to unfold it to know what was on it. It was all of my calculations from last night that I had done before I'd fallen asleep at the kitchen table in a pile of receipts.
"My bank froze my account for fraud, or something." I flipped my hand, trying to appear nonchalant.
"If they don't unfreeze it, do you have enough money to get home?" He asked.
"If they don't unfreeze it, then I am completely fucked." I answered honestly. He nodded understandingly.
He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a wad of bills. It used to be a couple of inches thick, but it had dwindled into a quarter inch thick stack of bills. He placed it on the back of the Road Runner.
"I'm running on fumes." He said point blank.
"You could race and make some of it back." I reminded. He shook his head no.
"It's time to move on." He sounded resolute. "There's too much heat here. I'm sure you've noticed."
I shook my head no, but I don't think he was fooled.
"I'm just asking you to transport the Road Runner to Antigua, Guatemala. You'll follow me the whole way, we'll stay together, you'll be safe. That's it."
"Why?"
"I'm meeting some friends there and I don't want to leave it in my garage here." He patted the back bumper. "I'm kind of attached to it."
"If they see the Road Runner leaving town, they'll be less likely to raid your garage." I pointed out his real reason. He nodded.
"All of this goes to you." He poked the small stack of bills.
"If the cops show up, you'll leave me behind." He shrugged as a smirk spread across his face.
"I don't think you need to worry about that. You're good enough to outrun the cops."
"I'm not doing this." I refused.
"Call the bank before you make that decision." It sounded like a warning, but not a threat. It made my anger light up like a flare.
"Fine. I don't need your fucking money."
Z
I needed his fucking money.
They locked my card down and were refusing to unlock it because of fraudulent charges that were being attempted in a plethora of South American countries. They were mailing me a replacement to a hotel in Guatemala City that Han had provided the address for.
I was hoping it was all worth it.
This was toeing the line even for me. My heart was fluttering in my chest as we started off from the garage as soon as the sun set. I had been furious all day and had been trying to pick a fight with Han, who just shrugged me off and made me madder. My sour mood was not helped by a second phone call with Brian where he told me to never ever bring this up again.
Han gave me a bright smile as he flew past me on the road out of Mexico City. I tried to ignore him, but that stupid bright Camaro kept buzzing around me like a fly, changing speeds so to me, and then flying forward. I was able to block him out and just stay on the road the map said led out of Mexico. He finally shot forward and left me in the dust.
I needed a minute.
Things weren't going great and I was trying not to spiral into some dark thoughts. I kept telling myself that I was still going to be okay with the FBI when I went back, that this wasn't really that bad.
I was assuming I could go back to the FBI. I never asked Brian about my case.
I caught a glimpse of the Camaro pulled over at a gas station off to the side of the road. I glanced down and realized I needed to stop for gas too. With a groan, I pulled off to the side.
Han was watching me with amusement as I pulled up to the pump.
"Still pissed?" He asked as I slammed the nozzle into the Road Runner's gas tank.
"I'm-having an off day." I finally answered. He laughed.
"I know a way to fix that." He replied. "That's not sex." He replied quickly when I opened my mouth to snap back.
"I don't mind street racing, but I feel like this is a step too far. What if I get caught and can't go back to work? A frozen debit card will be the least of my problems." I reminded him.
"How about a street race? You win, I hand you the cash and you can do whatever you want to with the Road Runner. I'll make sure you make it to a town with an airport." He suggested.
Han always radiated confidence. It was what made him stand out in a crowd, even if he wasn't one of the loud guys at the center of attention. This time, it felt even stronger. He was completely amused by this whole situation and it made me angry.
"If you win?" I asked.
"Antigua."
I sat on the Road Runner's hood while he paid for our gas. How hard could a race be? I had gotten better, and I knew the Road Runner. Either way, I felt like the walls were closing in and I needed out. I couldn't get caught with him. Especially since I told Brian a lot more than I meant to.
"Where does the race end?" I asked Han when he returned. A bright smile split his face as he opened up the door to his Camaro.
"Let's at least make this interesting."
"I want to have a job when I get home, and I can't have that if I'm in a Mexican jail." I pointed out between gritted teeth.
"You're so stressed. For what? We're not going to get caught." He sounded so carefree.
"Why are you so sure of yourself? All it takes is one cop," Like me. I could ruin this all for him with one phone call.
When his arm wrapped around me, I felt myself relaxing, even though I didn't want to.
"What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of not going home, or are you afraid of having to go home? We're all running from something here." I stiffened, but I couldn't argue. My anxiety was through the roof and it wasn't getting better. "Let's just have a little fun while we're here."
The feeling of my first street race came rushing back. The pure joy at crossing the finish line. The way my heart felt like it was going to explode in my chest as I shifted gears.
"Oh, alright." I finally grumbled into his chest. "Street race. I win, I get the money and no obligations."
"Deal."
We got in the cars, and pulled back into the main road. Han rolled his window down and motioned for me to do the same.
"There's an intersection coming up in about a mile. Whoever crosses that first, wins." I nodded my affirmation. "Go on three since there's no one to start?"
"Fine with me." I yelled back.
"One," He yelled. I started preparing to push the pedal. "Two." I squeezed the ball on top of the shifter. "Three!"
I might have started before he said three, but that didn't matter. He shot around me. I upshifted and managed to catch up. My head was buzzing with adrenaline as I pulled alongside him. I pulled ahead and cut over, forcing him to hit the brake. Undeterred, he swooped behind me before he shot forward, the nose of the Camaro overtaking the Road Runner.
He could really drive. He had so much more skill than any of the racers I'd seen in Mexico City or Sayulita. We were neck and neck as we came up on the intersection, and I was pretty sure that was because he was letting me stay so close. A laugh was bubbling in my throat as I shot forward in front of him. There was no one coming through the intersection; it was the middle of the night, so it was just us on the road. There was nothing to slow me down.
The nose of the Road Runner was ahead to the last second, but Han was a better driver. I thought I was in the clear, but he overtook me at the last second and the Camaro was ahead as we soared through the empty intersection.
He took point ahead of me as we slowed down. I would normally be devastated at losing anything, but not this time.
I stayed behind him until we hit a big city. We'd been travelling at high speed for a few hours. He pulled off the main road, following some side streets until we pulled up at a hotel.
"Excited about Antigua?" He asked as he stepped out of the Camaro.
"Should I be? What are we doing there?" I asked flirtily.
"Aren't you excited to find out?" He teased. "We still havent' talked about what I get for winning."
"What is that?" I asked as I pulled my bag out of the trunk.
"I have a job and I need another set of hands."
AN: Big chapter to try to make up for not updating. Sorry if it's all over the place. How is this story going? I know my protagonist is super flawed and the flow is very slow, but I'm trying to pick it up. Please review. I haven't written in so long, I feel like I need the constructive criticism. Hopefully this bumps the story along a little bit.