Disclaimer, in case it wasn't obvious. I don't own Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, or really any other property. Thank you.
The Long Road
Chapter 17: Wounds
Shallow, weak breaths escaped the body as it lay back against the bed. All that Chi-Chi could do was watch as Gohan struggled. It was impossible to stop her own trembling as she looked at him. Goku had promised her everything would be fine, and that Dende and Piccolo would be here soon to help Gohan heal, but then he'd completely disappeared. There was no explanation, no anything, just in a panicked rush he was gone, leaving a heap of meat on the floor that used to be her son.
The last time they'd met, he'd hurt her, and she was afraid of him. Now all she could do was sit there and pray that the Guardian of the Earth would come. Bandaging Gohan's wounds had been a nightmare, even in his unconscious state all he did was quiver in agony. Her eyes couldn't leave the burnt stump that was his right arm. What had even happened? What caused this? Was it Vegeta? Was her husband now going off to face Vegeta for this?
The only one she knew who could have harmed Gohan, and wanted to do it, was him.
Shakily, Chi-Chi reached out, placing her hand against her son's sweat covered forehead and blinked several times. This was so much worse than the first time she'd seen him, his injuries were now so severe. Even when lifting him she could see the mess of his body. Burns covered him in multiple places, bones were broken, the arm was gone, his face was torn to shreds. As it stood, she wasn't even sure he'd see out of his right eye ever again. All she wanted was her son back. This had to be her fault, if she'd never gotten mad at him for lying to her, then he wouldn't have hurt her, and then Goku wouldn't have taken him away to Kai knows where.
Quietly, she felt her own heart painfully beating. She was a terrible mother. Not only had she allowed her son to be abducted as a child, but she'd not even been worth him remembering when he came back. Then, after he tried to accommodate her, she'd lashed out at him for lying over something that really didn't matter. Now here he was again, laying here dying, and in so much pain. Depression swelled in Chi-Chi's mind as she sat there next to her eldest son. When he was born she had so many hopes for him.
Gohan was to grow up with everything she and Goku didn't really have an opportunity for. All the violence and danger they'd been surrounded by their whole lives wasn't something that her son needed. When she watched Goku struggle to defeat Piccolo, before they married and before Gohan was born, when she saw a hole get blown through Goku's chest, she knew her son's life had to be different. They could have a son who grew up like everyone else, but was great at other things. He could have been a scholar, a scholar on a level that his father was as a fighter. A comfortable life, where he'd have a career, a family of his own, and wouldn't know the kind of anxiety or pain she felt when she saw her husband nearly die.
Those hopes were all dead and gone now. It was so grim to think that her only hope now was that he'd wake up, and that Dende would get here in time with Piccolo to save his life. A life that had been filled with so much pain because they'd failed him so profoundly. As parents, she and Goku had completely failed Gohan the day he was taken. Now all she could do seemingly was apologize for it at every turn. When she learned of the monstrous things he'd done, how could she blame him? Worse, she still saw her little boy inside all of that. When he smiled at her it was genuine and real, just like when he was a little boy. Out there when he was all alone he must have wished he had someone to care about him. It was hard watching how much he hated to be around his father, when Goku had cared just as much as she did all those years. It wasn't fair to Goku at all.
For a moment she almost felt dizzy when he struggled to breath for a second, before calming back down.
"Mom?" a quiet voice asked from behind. "Mom is Gohan going to be okay?"
Goten.
Turning her head, she stared at her little boy as he walked in cautiously, as if worried he couldn't be there. In truth, Chi-Chi almost wouldn't want him to see Gohan like this, but right now that seemed to almost escape her.
"I don't know yet," Chi-Chi admitted. "We just had to hope he'll be alright."
When Goten stopped in front of his older brother, he frowned. They didn't always get along, but she knew that Gohan seemed to care about Goten's well being. It was something he'd never admit, but she could see it. Perhaps his little brother reminded him of what he'd been through in his own life, like looking through a mirror into the happier times in his past.
When Goten carefully grasped his brother's hand, Chi-Chi moved to stop him until she heard the little boy start speaking.
"Gohan, you better get up soon or mom will really be hurt," her son warned in a quiet whisper. "Dad'll be hurt too."
Smiling sadly, Chi-Chi reached down, placing her hand on Goten's shoulder. The little boy didn't move for a second, she could see his hands still gripping Gohan's. Even without meaning it, Goku and Chi-Chi had placed Goten in Gohan's shadow. When they talked privately about Gohan, it always ended up leading to Goten. The times they caught the little boy he'd always tried to smile, just like his father, and shrug it off.
"If Gohan... If Gohan dies, does that m-mean that... that I'll..." Goten couldn't finish the words before Chi-Chi pulled him into a hug, finally breaking his grasp of his brother's hand.
"Everything's going to be fine Goten," she whispered. "We'll have everything sorted out, you don't need to worry at all, alright? Now go watch for Mister Piccolo and Dende, okay? When they get here I want you to let them in, can you do that for me, Goten? It'll help your brother out a whole bunch, okay?"
It was hard to put on a brave face for Goten, but she wanted to make him feel like he could help. After this was over, after Gohan was healed or brought back, she wanted to just sit down and talk to him about what happened. Not just in what happened in this fight, but what happened in his life. What happened in all those years she had missed. From when she saw the exchange with Vegeta before, she knew he was proud of what he'd done in his life, but why? Why would anyone be proud of destroying so many people lives?
Goten slipped from her arms, before nodding to her.
"I'll look out for them mom, I promise."
Chi-Chi smiled back at her little boy, before turning back towards her eldest son. When Goten left the room, she quietly took his place, holding the injured teenager's hand just as she'd done the first time he was broken and injured in front of her. When she felt his hand tighten around her's for a moment, she felt her heart skip a beat.
"Gohan?"
Watching his head slowly turn towards her caused Chi-Chi to almost wince, looking at how stiffly he moved. A trembling eyelid slowly opened, revealing his good eye. There was something wrong, deeply wrong. It took her only a second to see pain. It wasn't from his body either. Inside of that eye, she could see an agony that could have only been born from the soul. Her hands immediately responded to his, and she did her best to smile to him.
"Gohan?" she repeated. "I'm here, everything is going to be..."
Chi-Chi's words died in her throat when she saw the way he looked. Lips quivered as Gohan tried to respond to her. His chest was wracked with something awful as his eye stared up at her. Whatever it was, he was trying to hold it all in. Inside her own heart, Chi-Chi began to feel the unbelievable agony within her son's. It was guilt, regret, sadness, and betrayal. Gohan didn't have to say a word to her for her to understand that much, she could see it. The questions as to what had happened disappeared.
"I... I... I kil...killed him," Gohan finally said through a broken voice, barely holding himself in.
Tears began to well in his eye, and his entire body began to break down into some kind of collective sob. For the first time in so long, she had no idea what to do. Killed who? He didn't kill Goku. Did he kill Vegeta? She knew Gohan, and even though it was painful to admit, he'd not really care about killing Vegeta. What happened out there?
Confusion was written over her features, but she held firmly onto Gohan's arm all the same.
"It's alright, look we're going to-"
Before she could finish Gohan tried to sit up, but failed, falling back down in a confused painful mess. His hand left hers and searched for his other arm.
"My arm, he took my arm. I couldn't... I still couldn't do it," Gohan weakly babbled. "Wasn't... supposed to happen this way."
It was too much for Chi-Chi to watch, moving over, she placed her hands on his arm, trying to calm him, before carefully pulling him into a hug. He almost seemed to be hallucinating.
"You need to rest until Dende and Piccolo get here," she urged. "Please Gohan."
Finally he seemed to visibly calm, he became less frantic. But then it happened, slowly he broke down into tears in her arms. Agonized sobs escaped him as she just held onto him. Her own eyes started to water as she realized just how much pain her son was in. She had no more words to contribute, all she could do was hold onto him and hope that was enough.
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Why couldn't he stop shaking? Was he crying? Thoughts were incoherent, nothing made sense, he could barely tell where he was. The only thing that was constant in the world was the fact someone was holding him. Chi-Chi, his mother, was holding him. That meant he was alive.
No, no please not this.
It was waking up to a nightmare. His arm was gone, his body was burnt and savaged, he felt his internals in horrible shape and his body on the verge of breaking down. The fact he'd survived this long was both a blessing and a curse. For the first time in his life, Gohan wished he'd died. The man who'd cared for him, and had treated him as his son was dead. Dead by his hand no less, killing him for a woman, his mother, who he'd met only months earlier, and her brat kid. Worse, he'd even gone out of his way to save Kakarot, costing him his right arm. What was this all meant to be? Did that somehow release him from being condemned? Hardly, he'd exterminated countless billions of weaklings already. The Earth would have been no different were it not for two, perhaps three people. So did that redeem him in the eyes of the righteous? He doubted that.
All he'd done was kill the only person he ever cared about before coming to this world. Vegeta had been right about him, he killed friends just as he killed enemies. He wasn't loyal at all, he barely knew the meaning of the word. Every second he thought about it his humiliation and pain grew, because he knew what Vegeta said was true. He was a traitor. Any time it benefited him he betrayed whoever he had to. He had commited treachery towards Paragus, Turles, Kakarot, Vegeta, and one day perhaps even Cooler, and all for what? What did he even get out of it?
Vegeta was right about me.
Finally the truth came out. It wasn't the crimes against billions he fretted over, or the killing of Planet Trade officers who failed in their duties, it was the killing of people who put their trust in him who he cared about. Somewhere deep down, he'd even cared for Kakarot. The pale image of Turles had grown like a tumour on him, and he even betrayed him at the earliest convenience. The worst part of it however was the fact that he was alive, meaning Kakarot had come for him and brought him here.
Which meant Kakarot had forgiven him.
That was worse than him leaving him out there to die.
A choked noise escaped him as he sobbed at the realization. That idiot had no idea what he'd done, forgiving him. How could it be that Kakarot had thought he was redeemable? When they first met he'd nearly killed him and he was right to do so. Why should he have let him live? It was him still chasing after the boy, that's all it could be. They had nothing in common, they had no common cause, they had nothing in common but blood.
Finally his body was too weak to continue sobbing or trembling. Somehow, despite it all, Chi-Chi being there felt comforting. Slowly opening his 'good' eye, Gohan looked up at Chi-Chi. He'd been wrong about one thing when he was appraising all of this. The one person he'd not betrayed yet, not really betrayed, was Chi-Chi. Even when he harmed her hand before, it wasn't done to somehow turn his back on her. The one person in the world he could say that he'd only hurt, never betrayed.
"Mom," he managed to say weakly. "I killed him."
Gohan barely registered that he'd repeated himself. Somehow part of him wanted to tell Chi-Chi, he wanted to tell her everything. About how much it'd hurt, and still hurt. It was something he'd never felt compelled to do in his life, because he'd never done anything this wrong in his life. It didn't matter if she wouldn't understand.
"Who?" Chi-Chi asked a few seconds later, searching his face for some clue as to what he was talking about.
"I... I killed the man who raised me," Gohan finally told her. "He made me do it. I didn't have a choice, he wanted me to kill everyone else. I didn't care but I didn't want to kill you and the brat."
Gohan felt himself breathing in shakily after he said it. There it was. That was the truth, out there for everyone to see. Stinging hot water began to invade his eye again as he silently cursed himself for being this weak. Turles would be disgusted by him acting this way. This was the way it was made to be, it was the way it was destined to be. They were Saiyans, Son kills Father, it was just as Turles had told him all those years ago.
Only he'd fought it. Every fibre of him fought it because what kind of life could he have lead to make him want to kill his own father? He would give anything to go back in time even one day, just to try and talk sense into Turles one more time. None of this had to happen. If Turles had just listened to him and realized that this world was different...
I wasn't the Alpha, he was. I defied him as if my opinion mattered. I should have fallen in line, and because I didn't, Turles died. Why didn't I fall in line?
Quietly, his thoughts trailed to Kakarot. Kakarot's perfect little world, perfect little view on life seemed harmless. But it'd corrupted him enough to think that his fucking personal life mattered, when what had really mattered his whole life should have taken priority. But it didn't, it wasn't enough no matter how much he'd wanted it to be.
"I'm so sorry Gohan," Chi-Chi finally whispered, looking at him with pity and remorse.
Maybe she did sense his pain, maybe she could understand the edges of it. But the look she had was one mixed with her own grief, perhaps even realizing that she was the one responsible for Turles's death in some way by being here.
"Don't be sorry," Gohan finally said weakly in response. "It's not your problem, I did it to myself."
"I'm not sorry because I did something. I'm sorry that you've gone through this. You've already been through so much. I wish I could have protected you from-" Chi-Chi tried to start.
Shaking his head, Gohan looked away.
"Thank you for your words mother. But you don't understand. You could never protect me, and I forgive you for that. I protected you, and maybe that is enough for me. I've not got long, and I don't have many regrets. I won't ask you to finish me off, I couldn't expect that from you. But I would ask that you let me die in peace."
The look on her face went from surprised, to horrified. It was an uncomfortable thing to say, to remark on one's own end of the horizon. But it was inevitable, he was bleeding internally, his body had been through severe trauma, and the burns on his body were agonizing. It wasn't just a wish to die at this point, it was a reality of death. Any injury like this would require a regeneration tank, and he didn't exactly have any senzu beans. Piccolo was dead, and if he wasn't then he would take a while to get here, and what was the stupid midget going to exactly do for me?
"Don't talk like that, you're going to be fine," Chi-Chi's voice slipped through, before she smiled weakly at him again. "Dende can fix just about anything."
Immediately, Gohan felt his heart stop and wished it had literally done so. Dende can fix just about anything? So he'd escape death again if that green rat got here. It didn't feel right. He'd run from this fate for so long. What made now different? Killing Turles, bluntly, was what made him no longer want to avoid this fate as he once had. The idea of escaping it was quickly become unbearable.
"Mom! Mom!" Goten rushed to the door, his eyes wide with excitement.
Chi-Chi slowly turned her attention to the little boy. Gohan struggled to turn his head to view his little brother. The look of concern was written on his face and Gohan just breathed out as he tried to process the fact the kid seemed worried about him. All these people were too confusing to ever fully wrap his mind around. He didn't even treat Goten all that well by these Earthling standards.
But from behind the boy walked two green skinned Namekians.
So, the Namekian survived Turles.
It'd be a lie to say he wasn't relieved. One of the few people in his life he'd dare to call a friend, would perhaps be this stoic Namekian. It was grim to think he'd nearly killed him in their first encounter for being alive, in essence. Now the wiser warrior was here with the supposed Guardian of this planet, to fix him? Did they have one of those beans? There was serious debate in his mind if he should even take it.
"You're alive," Gohan managed to say to Piccolo, before smirking. "I should have known, killing a Namekian is notoriously hard."
Walking over and looking as serious as always, Piccolo looked down.
"Dende thinks it is fitting to heal you of your injuries because of your service in protecting the Earth," Piccolo remarked bluntly.
"Yes, I... uhh... I was wrong about you," Dende admitted. "You saved the world Gohan, words can't express my gratitude to you for doing so. So I will use my powers to heal you."
So, the Green Imp could heal people, and seemed sincere about healing him. The question was to take the help, or refuse it? Right now he could feel his body slowly declining. When it finished, he'd pass into an unknown oblivion, but one where he expected his fate to be rather grim. It was something he'd run from so many times, something he'd missed dozens, upon dozens of times. He didn't feel like running anymore. Bluntly, he didn't want to live with Turles's death on his hands. It sounded so strange even to his own thoughts, but it was true.
"The midget can leave, I don't need his help," Gohan managed to say, before looking away.
Part of him almost wanted to continue to look at Dende, just to see how annoyed the little green could get.
It was then that he almost could feel the air around Chi-Chi go cold.
"You'll accept this young man's help right now Gohan," the order came stiffly from her.
Looking up, he could see the resolved, angry look on her face. It wasn't her decision to make, it was his decision to make. She was a wounded mother trying to protect her child. But she had no idea that the child she sought to protect wasn't deserving of that protection. It was something she always seemed to do all the same.
"No, I won't," Gohan responded, feeling light headed. "I know what I'm doing. I'm tired mom. I've been here before. I'll be dead within an hour, and I think for the first time... I'm okay with that."
The words left his lips and he felt a great burden lifted off his shoulders, it was like having carried a dead body to him all these years, being so afraid of the next life. He still was afraid, but now that it seemed inevitable, now that he was letting go, it felt like he was alive for the first time. Irony certainly had a way of sneaking into his life at the most inopportune moments.
"Gohan," Piccolo cut in before Chi-Chi could continue. "Is this what you want?"
"How dare you come into my house with that attitude!" Chi-Chi spat. "You're encouraging him! What the Hell is wrong with you? I thought you'd changed, but here you are, acting like-"
"Someone who wants Gohan to make decisions for himself," Piccolo cut in, looking back to Gohan seriously. "We've talked before, and I've known him longer than you have, you'll have to trust me on that. If this is what Gohan wants, then we need to respect his decision. It's clear that he's come to terms with himself. Obviously I don't think Gohan should go ahead with this action, but I think I understand why he'd want this to be over."
Out of everyone on the Earth, it stunned him that the Namek understood the best. Perhaps Vegeta, the detestable wretch that he was, would understand as well. The person he knew who could never understand was Chi-Chi. It was one thing to spare her a terrible fate at the hands of Turles, it was another to say goodbye. He could ave her from Turles, but at the end of the day, he'd been dead to her for over ten years before this, it shouldn't make a difference being dead again.
"You! Guardian, get over here right now and fix my son," Chi-Chi ordered.
Quivering at the sight, Dende gulped, before shaking his head.
"I'd never invade someone's privacy so deeply as to heal them without their consent, I'm afraid-"
Well, Dende did look afraid, especially as Chi-Chi took a step towards him. When Piccolo stepped between the two, his arm was out and his eyes narrowed.
"Dende, go outside. You too Goten."
Without complaint, the two shortest people in the room took flight. They knew there was going to be a blow up.
"How dare you do this Piccolo? What's wrong with you?"
"Mom," Gohan cut in, reaching out painfully and grabbing her arm. She froze as soon as he did. "I'm done."
When the words left his lips, he saw her shatter. Distress finally boiled over as she started to to shake as he had only moments earlier. His hand still trembled from adrenaline and emotion, but he was far more steady than Chi-Chi at the moment. The pain he was causing her must have been excruciating. It was agonizing to watch. For a brief moment he almost felt like turning his decision around, but he knew that wouldn't solve anything for him. He could never bring himself to kill himself, but he could bring himself to deny treatment.
I'm not going to walk around this world with Turles's death on my hands. All the other terrible things don't matter. I can't live with what I did to him, especially when I did it all for people I only met a short time ago. She'll get over it.
"Why do you have to go now?" Chi-Chi finally sobbed. "When you can finally be here with us. When I can finally get to see you. I've waited so long for you to come home and now you're just going to leave again."
The mood outside matched the mood inside him as he smiled sadly. It was dark, almost pitch black. Even Piccolo seemed unnerved by it, but didn't say anything.
"Mom, you don't want to get to know me more than you did. Trust me on that. Just be happy that you got to see me again," Gohan said sadly. "I know meeting you changed a lot for me. I didn't save this planet, as Dende put it. I saved you, and the brat, that was it. I had to commit the worst act, in my terrible track record to do it. That buffoon Kakarot will be here for you, and the kid."
When lightning arched across the sky, Gohan narrowed his eyes. Something felt unnatural. Was it because he was dying? No, it was a strange energy.
Before he could ask what was going on, his right arm pushed up against the side of the bed to sit up more. Blinking, Gohan looked down at his restored arm, restored down to the very scars he had it before it was blasted into a pile of meat. Tracing his hand down his right side, all the burns were gone, and his right eye was open and able to view things again. He was completely healed of the injuries he sustained fighting Turles.
NO!
Trembling, he looked down at himself, trying to understand what happened.
"That little two faced Namekian-"
"He didn't do it," Piccolo cut in quickly. "I suspect that black sky and Goku may have had something to do with-"
"Kakarot?" Gohan sneered angrily, standing up now as he felt cheated.
After all that, after not wanting to live, he'd been saved against his will.
When Kakarot appeared in front of him with that big goofy grin, using his Instant Transmission, Gohan couldn't stop himself. In front of him was the pale, mocking image of the man he'd just killed. Now this jester had denied him the only end he could see for himself for years. There were no words in Gohan's vocabulary for how mad and cheated he felt. It was everything he had not to go for a killing assault right away.
"Heya Gohan! Dende told me he couldn't heal you, and with one wish left over I figured-" The punch that connected with his face was ridged and uncontrolled. Swiftly plunging backwards, Kakarot broke through the door and slammed into the wall.
"Gohan!" his mother shouted.
The sharp twist and furious snarl he gave silenced Chi-Chi almost immediately, she could recognize what he was doing. Walking over to the dazed and confused Kakarot, Gohan looked down.
"You've robbed me of the only death I could accept, because you are an idiot. Don't come looking for me," Gohan finally said. "I'm finished here, through. If I'm going to be trapped on this rock alive, then I can't be around here."
I can't be reminded that I killed Turles for this hovel, this woman, the kid... and even you Kakarot, the pale impersonator.
"Gohan, you're not thinking-" Piccolo's words continued, but Gohan ignored them, stepping past Kakarot and walking towards the exit.
"Big bro! You're better! Did dad use-" Goten stopped speaking when he saw the look on his face.
Giving a half smile for a moment, Gohan reached out, ruffling Goten's hair. This kid maybe was a reflection of who he could have been. He didn't want to be that way, but it was scary sometimes how much like Kakarot the boy was, but also how he could see so much of himself from before, hidden inside those eyes.
"Do me a favour Goten, okay?" Gohan asked, feeling himself reaching out to Goten for the first time on his own. "Take care of mom for me, and don't let Kakarot do anything stupid, alright?"
Looking up in shock, Goten swallowed hard before nodding.
"You're coming back, right?" Goten asked, looking at him with eyes written with concern. Concern not fit for a child his age.
But the answer to his question was clear for Gohan.
He wasn't coming back, at least not for any future arrangement he could see. Chi-Chi, Kakarot, and Goten were here, and he would be somewhere else, away from the pain. Every moment here would become nothing but a reminder of what he sacrificed for these people. If he could leave the Earth itself he would. In fact, if it weren't for Kakarot and his mystery healing power, he'd have left the universe only minutes from now.
"Gohan wait!" he heard shouted from behind.
It didn't matter anymore. With a flare of energy, blasting Goten back and leaving burnt and scorched soil in his wake, Gohan took off, flying towards the unknown Earth.
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Six Weeks After Turles's Death: West City
Money.
It was something that Gohan hadn't fully taken into account when he strolled out of the Son house. It turned out for finished goods and product, one needed this planet's currency, Zeni. The transition of this money was interestingly enough, done through physical transition, rather than electronic. It was a stark change from his life in the Planet Trade, where credits were all transitioned based off user accounts, and done electronically. This planet was clearly more backwards than he originally imagined.
The first problem was easily solved, procuring Zeni had been an easy enough task. Simply find out what people needed done, and offer services in exchange for Zeni. Most of this however, was offered at abysmal rates, so Gohan simply decided to find contracts which paid him the most. There was a great deal of work which was considered elicit, such as mercenary contracts and assassinations, which were prohibited by law. The real reason he didn't take those contracts of course, was the fact that he couldn't bring himself to kill as he had in the past. In truth he'd even decided on the mercenary work at first, until it came time to do what he used to do. Killing reminded him of where he'd been, and what he'd done, but most of all it reminded him of the last moments he'd spent with Turles.
Funnily enough, he ended up making several hundred thousand Zeni on a job decommissioning an old building. Apparently the Earthlings would do this for contracts, and ensure a safe implosion of a building. It was easy enough to bring the building down in a safe capacity, and it was easy to do it for less money than the other people who would. That was his first foray into the world of work. But it did establish him enough to get started on several things.
The first one was clothes. Finally getting out of torn fighting gi pants, and procuring a new set of clothes was important to him. What was also important was wearing clothes suitable to his position. Humans often addressed their counterparts differently based off how they dressed, those who were respected the most seemed to commonly wear suits. So when dealing with Earthlings in an urban environment, he decided his best option was to wear one of these suits. It would make him fit the role of someone who was much more professional. When not in an urban environment? He'd found a pair of pants which were heavier material, apparently denim, as well as a basic shirt. Right now two to three sets of clothes were acceptable.
The next step he'd not yet indulged in, was looking into potential housing. So far he'd not really liked the idea of living in a centralized location. There was no reason to grow roots anywhere on this planet. So far the plan he'd come up with for himself was to travel across the face of this planet and try to find it within himself to... he didn't even know anymore. All he knew right now was that he didn't like the concept of being any one place. Perhaps he could get stronger while he travelled, training along the way. As far as he could tell, right now, he was the strongest being alive. It was a grim realization of course, given that Turles told him being the strongest being in the universe would make him free.
Right now, he never felt more trapped and helpless.
Right now, he looked ahead at a building that was designed to hold money. A financial deposit centre, or as the Earthlings called it, a bank. Carrying all this cash on him was not only unwise, but uncomfortable. Which meant opening an account at this deposit centre made the most sense. Walking towards it, his black suit clinging to his figure exactly to the specifications of the tailor, Gohan noted something seemed off.
Whatever.
Stepping inside the establishment, Gohan noticed the staff looked frightened by something, it was an easy emotion for him to pick up on. Looking about, he noticed most of the customers looked afraid as well, even corralled into a corner. If he didn't know better, he would say that this place was under assault.
Walking to the desk, he looked at the terrified, if not pretty teller. She had red hair with green eyes. Turning on what Gohan often tried to pass for charm, he smiled at her.
"Hey there, you couldn't help me open an account, could you?"
Instead of responding, her eyes darted to his left, before looking back at him.
"Sir, you need to get out of here. They are taking the bank hostage and trying to get into the safe," she told him with a strained whisper.
Theft, something he probably should have thought of as another alternative when he needed money again.
A click was heard next to him, and he felt the presence of an Earthling. Likely male, with a higher than average chance of being a career criminal. Gohan's smile disappeared immediately and his eyes and head sharply turned towards the origin of the noise.
"I am just here to open an account. I won't interfere with your activities. I don't want to waste my time with you, are we understood?" Gohan asked.
The skinnier looking, nervous man trembled as he held the pistol up at him. Narrowing his eyes, Gohan tried to take a measure of the man.
"Shut the fuck up and g-get on the ground," the thug ordered. "I'll shoot man, I'll shoot."
That was enough for Gohan. Stepping forward he placed his hand over the barrel of the pistol and just stared at him, daring him to go through with his threat.
"I will repeat. I am just here to open an account. Now shut the fuck up, as you put it so crudely. Let me go about my business, or I will break your gun, and then your hands," Gohan warned.
The frightened criminal pulled the trigger. Gas ejected out of the side of the pistol as the gun exploded, burning the attack's hands. While falling back the attacker would find himself grabbed by the front of his shirt by the very unharmed Gohan. Looking at him dispassionately, Gohan felt an irritated, no, an angry sneer cross his face.
"I warned you," Gohan said without a hint of emotion, pulling him to his feet before grabbing him by his hands.
"N-no! Wait!"
Twisting violently a second later, bones in the hands and fingers gave way, releasing terrible cracking noises. A shrill scream launched from his mouth, before Gohan released the broken articulatory limbs, before carefully striking the man across the face, knocking him out but not killing him.
When the subject's accomplices stepped out from the next room, holding similarly primitive weapons, Gohan just stared back at them with indifference. It was clear that they saw the fate of their comrade, and were in no mood to negotiate, given that they opened fire on him immediately. Catching the bullets out of mid air was a cheap trick, but it was one he implemented without a second thought. Dropping the bullets in front of him a moment later, the small metal objects bounced off the floor before rolling to a stop.
"Wrong move."
Disappearing and reappearing, Gohan drove his elbow into one man's face, and then backhanded the other. It was over the moment these two actions were resolved, both men hitting the ground hard.
All I wanted was to open an account, and I have to deal with this trash.
Silently, he almost wished he'd killed the idiots. With a distasteful sneer, he kicked one across the room unceremoniously. Turning towards the bank employee again, he smiled charmingly as if nothing happened.
"Now then, about that account."
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Four Weeks Later:
Peaceful.
It was strange to think of this world as anything even remotely peaceful. Ever since he arrived here it'd been a den of anxiety and stress. Fears of Kakarot and everything he represented, fears of Vegeta and his strength, fears of his mother and her potential disappointment in him, all wore on his mind when he found himself imbedded in this world. Even now he still held resentment towards this planet of weaklings. But while he stood off to the side of one of the main highways leading south, Gohan looked across a massive lake spanning for seemingly endless miles. Clear blue water shifted within this isolated body of water, surrounded by lush trees and mountains.
The warm light from the local star beat down on him from above, and the sky was strewn with a series thin clouds. He'd taken a moment to stop his walk towards the next city. The only problem with being alone, was he was alone with himself, with his own thoughts. Why bother flying to his destination, or using a human vehicle even? It was pointless to do so, given he had no real objective with where he was going. There was no long term plans, no great schemes, all he had was the fact he was trapped on this planet. He felt more helpless than even, when it came to escaping this planet. This world was nothing but a painful little dot on a star map.
Reaching down and picking up a small rock, Gohan threw it towards the water. The water parted around it as it shot through the lake with the force of a jet, before it was imbedded in the sand on the beach on the other side of the lake.
"That's not exactly skipping stones you know."
Gohan didn't need to turn to look to see who it was. A warm breeze blew past him a moment later, ruffling his shirt and causing his head to move. Taking two steps, Gohan turned to face the shadow who was tracking him. Narrowing his eyes, Gohan looked directly at Kakarot. He had some nerve showing up here after their last encounter. Everything he ever planned was always ruined by this man. He wouldn't even allow him to die at the one moment it would have been acceptable for him, and all for what? To get to know him? Even when he saw how ugly he knew he must appear to Kakarot, the blind fool kept pushing forward.
But the part Gohan resented most, was the fact it had changed him. Kakarot, Chi-Chi, Piccolo, and others all had a significant impact on him. Were it not for them, he knew right now he would be in space, serving Lord Cooler, living in opulence, and sooner rather than later, being reunited with Turles so that they could conquer the universe. They'd robbed him of that. They'd robbed him of the one thing he always imagined as his freedom while he served under Lord Cooler. Instead it'd been replaced by the shattering disappointment of his father being everything he expected him to not be, and a world that would soften him enough to actually care about people who didn't directly benefit him.
This place, and Kakarot, had far more of an impact than he wanted to admit. The worst part of it was, he couldn't just change and go back to the way he was. The damage had been done. Everything he'd been before all of this had been tainted, and he was slowly emerging as something foreign. Part of him almost didn't seem to recognize himself anymore.
The worst thing about Kakarot, and even Chi-Chi, was that they reminded him of what he'd done. They reminded him that he could have been someone different, and they reminded him that he'd killed Turles. The fact that when he stared at him, Gohan saw Turles staring up at him with tired, defeated, dying eyes, unnerved him. He watched as Turles gave in to a fate he'd fought his whole life. The freedom he wanted never came, and he'd stolen his opportunity of it. Even if it meant the lives of billions, that didn't matter. Those billions were just... insignificant.
"Kakarot," Gohan finally said, his voice tight. "What do you want? Make it quick."
"I want you to come home," the man who sired him said quickly. "Chi-Chi and Goten want you to come home. We're all worried."
Home.
That place was just a memory to him, a shadowy place where his memories haunted him. Vague moments from before he could remember slipped into his mind, of a far more innocent time. What kind of home tormented you with what could have been? Or worse, tormented you with what you could hardly remember, or even tormented you with what you'd done? That was no home, it was a cage whose occupants smiled back at you. But behind each of their smiles was a fragile pain, both his own and theirs.
"Then be worried," Gohan responded coldly. "I don't want to see you Kakarot. You can leave me."
The comment was delivered with a cold tone. Why couldn't this man just learn to give up for once? Just for once he wished that he'd capitulate. But Kakarot was relentless, and would ware and ware away at your defences until he started to influence you. Even now, despite lacking his usual smile, he could see the subtle determination in him. Kakarot wouldn't be satisfied until he agreed to go with him.
"Don't you think you've done this enough Gohan? I understand that you're upset with what happened. But it wasn't your fault, he didn't give you a choice," Kakarot said, speaking as if he somehow knew Turles. "You did the right thing, and all you're doing is beating yourself up over it. Your mother is worried about you, and rightly so after what happened back at the house. Look, we can sort this out."
Something began to turn in Gohan's mind, resentfully, angrily. It wasn't his fault? Was that what Kakarot just said? An angry scowl appeared on Gohan's face as Kakarot finished talking.
How dare this monkey try to pass the blame onto Turles?
"He didn't give me a choice? Oh that is where you are wrong," Gohan spat. "Turles gave me a very clear choice, and if it weren't for you and all your friends fucking with my head, I would have taken it."
The look on Kakarot's face was disappointed immediately, but Gohan didn't care. Right now, all he wanted to do was lash out. Stepping forward, dropping his bag behind him, it was everything he had not to outright attack Kakarot for his comment.
"I took that choice and threw it back in his face for what? A woman I barely knew but felt connected to because she bore me? Because of some punk kid who I find annoying? Or worst of all, because of some worthless look alike? Or was it all three? I killed my real family for you, and I am responsible for it. Don't you dare tell me otherwise Kakarot!" Gohan shouted furiously, his words almost glowing with fire. "If I'd never met you, everything in my life would be better then it is right now. Every aspect of it. Instead I'm trapped on this fucking planet, and I can't look at you without seeing the man I betrayed. I had a choice, and because of people like you, I betrayed everything I am."
"Now get lost, I don't want to see you anymore Kakarot."
A hand came out, grasping his shoulder as Kakarot looked in his eyes, trying to connect with him somehow.
"I can't begin to understand the pain you're in, but please Gohan, running away from it isn't the answer. You've changed so much since when you first got here. You've made me proud Gohan," Kakarot said, his smile finally appearing again. "Just come home and we can work through this."
In that moment, Gohan saw Turles, not Kakarot, staring back at him. There was no smile, but the serious and cold resolve of a man now months dead. Part of Gohan almost stepped forward, wanting to explain why he'd done what he had. The other part of him realized this was Kakarot.
A second later, Kakarot hit the dirt back first. Standing above him was an angry Gohan, his fist still out and his knuckles hurting.
The look on Kakarot's face said it all. Pained, but surprised features looked up to Gohan. It was the same look of betrayal that Turles had given him before their battle.
So this was his fate. To forever be at this man's throat because he wasn't who he wanted him to be. Kakarot could never be the father he imagined him to be, because Kakarot wasn't Turles. It was a grim, terrible irony that they were brothers, and shared the same face. But this wasn't something Kakarot could change. Instead all he could do was wound him, and for what? For him to share in his disappointment and pain?
Finally, Gohan had to admit to himself, that Kakarot wasn't doing this because of some nefarious plot, or some grand plan. Looking at him, Gohan knew he'd not just struck a blow against Kakarot's body, but his soul. Just as he'd wounded his... father... Turles. All this man wanted was a chance for them to know one another. The truth was they were too different, their lives and expectations were so alien to one another they could never have the bond Kakarot desired.
Despite all that however, he knew that he would hurt Kakarot, and Chi-Chi, and everyone else. Even if they hadn't intended on it, they'd created his misery.
For a brief window however, Gohan spoke as if he was speaking to the man who'd given him the same look before. For that second, it was like speaking with Turles.
"I don't know why he didn't take the offer. We could have just left and it would have all been fine, you know that? I just wanted my life to go back to the way it was, and all he had to do was just say yes to the plan. Nobody had to lose, nobody had to die," Gohan said quietly, feeling numb while he spoke. "I never asked anything from him before, I always pulled whatever weight he asked of me. I always took on the burden, it was my duty. Why couldn't he have just taken the deal? Well, can you tell me?"
Standing over Kakarot, Gohan looked down at him as he tried to come to terms with the torrent of feelings he was experiencing. He'd known Turles for eight years, and he couldn't fully answer why he couldn't have just lamented, and given into the one demand he'd ever made. Somehow, asking Kakarot felt like asking Turles, even if it was only for that small window.
Swallowing, Kakarot looked away from Gohan, not answering.
"Tell me," Gohan then demanded, his voice and temper rising. "Tell me why he couldn't just give me the one thing I asked for. You fucking caused it after all. I wouldn't have given a shit about this world if it were for you. Every time I see you all I see is him. Every time I see Chi-Chi all I see is the person who drove me to betray the man who I... who I thought of as my father. Every time I'm in your home it feels like a graveyard for my memories!"
Unconsciously, Gohan was trembling because of all the anger and grief rising inside of him.
"I couldn't even save him after the fight, you know that? I still couldn't bring myself to kill him," Gohan choked, his voice straining. "I thought... if I could just get him to a bean, one of those Senzu Beans, that he'd recover and we'd just figure something out. I couldn't bring myself to see it because I didn't want to admit I killed him. I decided to turn against him. He saved my life more times then I can remember, he trained me, he defended me and he taught me everything I know. Then I killed him, and I still can barely understand why! I called out for you, when he was bleeding to death in front of me. The one time I actually fucking needed you for anything and all you did was lay there unconsciously like some-"
"Gohan," Goku quickly cut in, his voice quiet. "Gohan if I could have done anything for-"
"Shut up!" Gohan breathed furiously. "If you could have done anything? What would you have done? Come down and delivered a speech to me about how he attacked the Earth? Or how he nearly killed everyone? Or worse, would you have done to him what you've done to me! You and this place. I'm not even me anymore, am I? I barely know what I am because of this fucking place."
There was a long pause as Gohan breathed, trying to control himself.
"All he kept telling me was to finish him. And he told me he was proud of me. He wasn't proud of me. I defied everything he believed in, and I stole his dreams from him when I killed him. I betrayed him. He only said he was proud of me... because..." the world was getting blurry for Gohan, his eyes misting up. "Because he cared. In the last moments of his life, even after I betrayed him, he still cared about me."
For a moment, it was like he was almost in a trance, lost in his own world as he relived the worst moment in his life, all while Kakarot stared back at him, his face plagued with concern.
"I don't want to see you again, ever again, Kakarot," Gohan finally managed to say.
Turning around and walking towards his bag, he grabbed it, before turning towards the highway and beginning to walk.
"Gohan," Kakarot said, rising to his feet shakily himself. "It doesn't have to be this way. Please, your my son. Whatever it is that your going through, I want to help you. If Turles cared about you like you think, he'd not want you to turn your back on everything just because of what happened."
"If you do not leave Kakarot, I will kill you."
The air between them went still at the last words. It was finally a threat he knew he could carry through with.
"... What do you want me to tell your mother?" Kakarot finally asked.
"Whatever will make her happiest," Gohan said, turning his head slightly to acknowledge Kakarot over his mother at least.
If Kakarot had to fabricate something, anything, it didn't bother him. Perhaps he was dead, or 'happy' somewhere else. Whatever worked for Chi-Chi could suffice.
"I can't do that Gohan," Kakarot said reluctantly. "Because the only thing that would make Chi-Chi happy right now is knowing you were coming home."
Well played.
Giving a sad smile, Gohan finally gave in with a half chuckle.
"Then tell her whatever will make her the least sad."
Turning back towards the road, Gohan began to walk away from his biological father, perhaps for the last time.
For some reason he felt something akin to sadness at that.
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Three Months Later: Iron Town
"Why are you covered in those ridiculous colours?" Gohan couldn't help but finally ask.
Standing in front of him was a ridiculous figure. These humans covered themselves in such elaborate markings, and changed their appearances so dramatically. Personalities, languages, and religious beliefs varied widely between regions. It was almost like the Planet Trade Organization in it's diversity. But in the PTO, you always knew that a Saiyan would be a certain way, or a Zorian would act in a certain way. Yes, they were individuals, but their cultures and dress didn't change much, and certainly their languages didn't. On this planet by contrast, every region, class, and organization brought on a different appearance. The whole thing was even confusing at times.
Right now Gohan found himself standing off to the side of the road near an establishment which people procured alcohol from. The fact it was getting late didn't help much either.
I still don't get why these humans are so diverse.
"Excuse me?" the man responded.
The network of fire tattoos that covered his body and even shaved head were immaculately done. It was clear that the fire was 'important' to this man. Well, at the very least it was important enough for him to get it tattooed all over his body.
"I asked why you are covered in tattoo flames," Gohan said bluntly in response.
All of these humans always got so edgy over their personal decisions as well.
Well, you do too.
The rogue thought almost caused Gohan to growl at himself. It was so convenient and easy to differentiate himself from these primitives, but the truth was some of the blood in his veins was their blood. That seemed insane to him, given how weak they all were.
"And why do you wear fur belts, sicko?" the man responded.
Gohan's tail unfurled from his waist, flicking around a moment later.
"Belt?"
It was always strange to watch people react with fright at the sight of his tail moving. The appendage continued to stir in the air while the man just tried to comprehend what he was seeing. After several more blinks, he stepped back apprehensively.
"Yea, I know when to checkout," he said nervously, before booking it in the other direction.
Quickly Gohan's palm found itself resting on the face of his face. They were physically identical except for a bloody tail, so what? So it was alright to be covered in stupid tattoos, but to walk around with a tail? Well, that was clearly just too much. An irritated glance followed the man for a moment as his tail wrapped around his waist once more.
Pathetic, he didn't even answer my question.
This planet certainly had its shortcomings, but Gohan would admit that it was strangely peaceful at times. At the moment cars were driving by on the street to his right, and people were walking about casually, even if in small numbers. What he really needed was a hotel for the night.
There was an odd feeling that had been slowly following him for months, becoming ever more present. It was like a growing anxiety, a fear, and it often was only subsided when he was with the local people of this backwards planet. The real terror was of course was the fact he was realizing what was causing it. He was becoming... lonely.
Whatever, everything I touch seems to turn to shit anyway.
Perhaps being lonely was a fitting punishment. What would this place have looked like if he'd come here while not being alone, with Paragus or Turles? Even now he could imagine flames overwhelming this place, burning away the primitive structures and leaving behind only scorched ruin. Even after a few minutes these people would be all dead and finished.
With no one stronger than him, he could still do that, whether Turles was here or not. The worst part about that however, was that he didn't want to do that anymore. Even if these people were primitive and largely bizarre and useless, they just hadn't done anything to warrant his wrath. Killing whole worlds wasn't a pleasurable activity for him overall, it was done because it was a job.
Stepping past the bar and continuing his walk through the town, Gohan's eyes began to scan for a sign of a local roof to put over his head. Living accommodations weren't overly important to him, given he'd slept in far worse places. Part of him was wondering idly what he'd do with the rest of his life. Right now travelling across this rock was fine, but what about after that?
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Seven Months Later: The Skyhorn Mountains
Wind rustled through the trees all around him as Gohan walked down the dirt path, a bag still slung over his shoulder. It'd been weeks since he'd last tried to train at all. It seems fruitless without a sparring partner. Certainly he could flex his energy muscles, or strike against invisible opponents, but what was the point? He was the strongest being alive, by a fair margin. There wasn't any chance that Vegeta or Kakarot would catch up to him for an extremely long period of time.
Sighing and dropped his bag against the side of a tree, Gohan's eyes peeled forward. The quiet life was getting too quiet for his taste all the same. Self gratification however seemed equally pointless. Without his old life, and without anything to keep his anchored to this world other than a lack of space flight, Gohan felt increasingly empty.
Death or defeat would have served him better. It'd been a year since Turles's death, and it still hung over him like a grim shadow. It still tainted everything he touched, and everything he saw. Barely, Gohan noticed a power approaching, fast. Trying to pinpoint the energy, Gohan's eyes shifted from left to right. If this was Kakarot, he'd have to teach him a lesson to listen to him when he said to piss off.
Finally Gohan identified the power signature, just as his eyes came upon them. This was unexpected indeed.
"Gohan," Piccolo said, crossing his arms.
"Piccolo," Gohan responded stiffly.
The last time Gohan saw Piccolo was at the Son house after his miraculous recovery. So why had the Namek sought him out?
If he's here on behalf of Kakarot, I'll have to leave him with the same message I left Kakarot.
"You've gotten lazy," Piccolo then remarked, tossing his turban to the side.
So what? It wasn't like there were any threats to him anyway? Least of all the Namek.
"Oh? I've been busy," Gohan responded with a casual, confident smirk. "I don't see the point in training. I'm vastly superior to everyone on this-"
A vicious impact slammed into his cheek, causing Gohan to drop into the dirt behind him. Rolling back several times, the young Saiyan blinked when he stopped moving.
"For the strongest being on the Planet, you talk too much," Piccolo remarked. "Now get up and get ready. Because with an attitude like that, you'll be on top for a few months, let alone a few years. Besides, you may be strong, but you've got a lot to learn."
Rising to his feet, Gohan wiped some dirt from his cheek, before narrowing his eyes coldly on Piccolo. Flexing before assuming his fighting stance, Gohan knew he'd have to make a point. Only as much power as the Namek could muster, he'd beat him on his own terms.
A golden energy field followed as he began to raise his power to Piccolo's level.
"Let's see how much you run that green mouth of yours once I've beaten you," Gohan chuckled.
Smirking confidently right back at him, Piccolo only had one thing to say.
"Shut up and fight."
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A/N: It's always really hard to write after a huge, major event like what happened in A Saiyan Proverb. Especially after such tension and emotion. So this chapter was pretty hard to write, and hard to make feel right. But I can say that the content which is to come is going to be pretty awesome if I do say so myself.
Expect to see chapters not only for Gohan, but for Goku and Chi-Chi, as well as Videl.
Funnily enough, this chapter was originally 2 chapters. I put them together for you guys, so in a way this is a double feature for you.
On a bright note. Chapter 16 was my most reviewed chapter to date, in any of my stories. So thanks everyone! :)
Reviewers:
aoj95: I couldn't wait to see everyone's reaction too XD
Mollo: I'm glad it made you wow. :)
fernandtoussaint: Yea, this is the most important chapter of the story so far for Gohan. IN a lot of ways it's not just facing his past, but facing himself.
Guest1: Thanks
Eveline: I made you cry? I feel bad now, lol. The pain Gohan feels is overwhelming, as this chapter hopefully helped convey.
Peter1398: Well remember, Paragus saw Gohan as a replacement for Broly. So it's not unreasonably that they'd be similar.
Ultimate Black Ace: Vegeta is a huge factor behind Gohan turning on Turles, which I personally found amusing because not only do Vegeta and Gohan HATE one another, but Vegeta has consistently been right about Gohan. Sadly, he's got Gohan dead to rights XD
But thank you for the kind praise.
Jrik23: I hate sudden, huge changes. I think characters need to progress realistically. Gohan turned on Turles for the only reason he could even. If it wasn't for Chi-Chi, then the Earth would have been finished.
Miharux3: Apparently this chapter is pretty emotional. Gohan's got a lot of things to do along the long road. Expect to see Videl soon. Chapter 20. But it may not be what people think.
Deflow: I suspect you are right. There are going to be two more chapters likely written on the scale of this one, hopefully they can match it.
Guest2: I felt sad for everyone too :(
Oj1: Gohan intimidated Videl into having sex with him essentially. So yes, he raped her.
Tytyty: It was a Goliath to overcome in terms of writing it, so I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Hot's And Clogs: I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, and I'm glad you still got sleep. Lol
xxxpossessedforlifexxx: High praise indeed, thank you.
Dark Void116: Videl's got a very large role to play over multiple levels of the story. Some of it canon, some of it not.
Guest3: Well, you'll have to read to find out...
tomrrow4eva: Thank you! I'm glad you liked how messy it was XD
an9454: Updates will be every two weeks :)
dbzfan zero: That somewhat happened, not to the extent you wanted however, lol
Ness Frost: It was heart wrenching to write. And on a side note.. GO VEGETA!
FoxyFoxyArtie: Sadly, he has his arm back. But trust me, read forward, you'll find Gohan has more problems then just arms...
masede: The length of this chapter, does not reflect production time for normal chapters, which are 5-10k
Ky111: You skipped some pretty wicked fighting XD
low on inspiration: It was really an emotionally tough chapter to write even. When I wrote a lot of those scenes I had to dredge up my own emotions to try and empathize with the two of them. It's a tragedy, even if it's a tragedy born of two monsters. They are two monsters who befriended one another in the darkness, and one began to step into the light. It's a terrible fate for both of them to go through. But sadly, it's a fate they both well earned. They were forced to go through the same suffering Gohan and Turles forced on billions.
Mangahero18: Thanks very much! :)