Title: Sound And Fury

Authors: Sara And Lizzie

Rating: T for language, mild sex

Disclaimer: we don't own grey's anatomy, or any anatomies but our own at that.

Author's Note: Ok.. Set after Derek picks Addison and Meredith sleeps with George. Review. No matter how you feel about it, review. Chapters will get longer. We tried to step it up with our grammar, but we still suck. REVIEW, PLEASE. Check out 'A Little Something Called Forever' and 'The Best Laid Plans'. We need reviews to function, so help us out.

"It's funny how it comes to pass that all the good slips away." –Matchbox Twenty

Meredith woke up in Derek's trailer the next morning. She was tired, confused and a little defeated. But she got up, showered and followed his to Seattle Grace. They stepped into the elevator together.

"I'm scared." He told her as the doors closed.

"What?"

"This can't go on forever, and I'm scared about what happens next. I can't lose you Meredith." He was trying to make her understand; make her see how much it all meant to him.

"I'm not the one that's married, Derek."

"Meredith…"

"No, Derek. Because I'm scared too. I know this has to end, but the balls not in my court. I'm not the one who can change things."

He opened his mouth, but she held up her hand to stop him. "You're married. Married. And you chose Addison. Sooner or later, Derek, you're going to have to choose again." The elevator stopped, and she gave him a quick kiss before the doors open and she slipped out with a sad smile.

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Addison's pretty face was contorted in concentration. She looked at Mark's outstretched hand and knew this was it. Now or fucking never. She took the final steps toward him, and pulled her into a hug. She was walking. Slowly, but surely, she was walking again.

"Addison!" he exclaimed. "This is amazing. I'm so proud." Because he was. She was stronger than he thought. Their eyes locked, with Mark's arms still around her. Her legs were shaky, but she was holding her own, and she had him supporting her.

With that thought, she touched her lips to his; falling into a kiss she really wanted to be having. Addison smiled with her lips fused with his, and then abruptly pulled away. She coughed twice, and he helped her back to her bed.

"Could you have one of the nurses page Derek, please?"

"Addie…"

"Please, just do that?"

Mark turned on his heel and left her room. Tears welled in Addison's eyes, but she didn't let them spill over.

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Meredith sat on a bench in a remote corner of the hospital, near the financial and nutritional offices. She knew the odds of Derek finding her there were slim. She held the mocha latte she was drinking in both hands and tucked her knees to her chest.

She felt someone sit down next to her and sigh. She looked over to see Mark Sloan on the bench, and Meredith smiled at him. "You don't look so good."

"Blame Addison. Neither do you."

"Blame Derek."

They smiled at each other, a camaraderie passing between them. "Is it always going to be like this?" Meredith mused. "Are they always going to run our lives, dictate our moods?"

Mark shrugged. "As long as we let them."

It was silent for a while. "They're not even remotely happy, you know." Mark said. "They hardly speak. He doesn't love her."

Meredith turned to face him fully. "I know! Why bother with the façade?"

"The façade," Mark concurred. "Exactly."

Meredith managed a chuckle in spite of herself. "How utterly pathetic are we?"

"Pretty pathetic. I'm embarrassed for both of us. Tossed around by the winds of Hurricane Shepherd."

"Not bothering to try and get out of the storm."

"That was a Derek thing to say." Mark told her.

Meredith smiled. "He loves his metaphors."

They lapsed back into silence. Meredith sat and sipped her latter, waiting for her pager to go off. Mark looked at her. "I know we're both thinking it, but since you're the slightly more innocent dirty mistress, I'll be the one that says it. We could help each other here."

Meredith blushed. "I was thinking that. But at what price? If they found out, they'd never forgive us."

"So that's why you didn't pick me up in the bar."

Meredith smiled. "Exactly. But you know it's true."

"It's true. The stakes in that game are too high. You're a good kid, Meredith. If he leaves her for anyone, I'll hope it's you."

She smiled at him, and rose. "Thanks. He's going to have to choose again, you know."

Mark nodded. "I know. They both will. And the hardest part about it? All we can do is sit back and wait for the gauntlet to fall."

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Se met Derek in 'their' on call room, adding to 'their' things that she was bound to hate after all of this was over. She was stuck in the most vicious of cycles. She was beyond broken now. She lived for Derek, and illicit moments with Derek, and she had begun to wonder if she had to live without him, would she ever be whole again.

"Your pagers beeping." Meredith pointed out as she closed the door behind her.

"It's Addison."

"What are you waiting for?"

"You." He said simply.

She shrugged. "You should go to her, Derek. You've barely seen her." He knew she was right, but he didn't want to leave her like this. Meredith's normally bright eyes were dull and ringed with circles, and her voice sounded hollow.

"I'm happy her right now." He said snaking an arm around her waist. She smiled at him, looking like she might forget that his wife was paging him, but she seemed to remember their situation as quickly as she had forgotten it.

She shook her head. "Go."

He stared at her for a long time, and then finally nodded. He kissed her, softly at first and then finally with more urgency. He broke away, and left the room without looking back. Meredith waited for a few minutes, in case someone was watching, and then left the room herself, slamming the door so hard the sound, tinged with fury, ricocheted through the entire hallway.

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"Addison?" Derek called into her room.

Shakily, she got up and took a few steps, waiting for his reaction. Derek watched as his wife walked her first steps in a month, and the feigned enthusiasm.

"Addie, that's great." He said, hugging her. He was glad, he really was. He just didn't know what was going on in his own head right now. Derek shook his head, fighting the insane urge to tell her.

He resisted the need to confess everything, to tell her that he was still in love with Meredith; that he had been with her. He wanted to hear himself saying divorce, but it wasn't the right time.

He congratulated her, and started asking her questions about doctors and rehab, and when the first step was, vaguely wondering if the right time would ever come.

Addison watched him leave, feeling dejected and confused. He had seemed miles away the whole time he was with her. And the questions he was asking, they were questions that he should have been able to answer. Feeling determined, Addison got up and walked to her wheel chair, smart enough to know that she wasn't strong enough to walk more than a few steps. She left her room, and the entire wing. She didn't stop going until she was alone in a room, positioned in front of a file cabinet. She pulled three files, and took them back to her room.

She opened Mark's. Bullet in the shoulder. Clean entry and exit. Sutured by Izzie Stevens. She opened her own file, considerably larger, due to all the surgery she had needed.

Addison Montgomery- Shepherd the file read. She scanned the notes, muttering out loud. "Bullet lodged in upper spinal column, close to brain stem. Emergency neurosurgery…" her own voice trailed off as she moved her eyes down the page. The signature of the surgeon read Dr. David Venne, assisted by Christina Yang.

Dr. David Venne. It felt like a slap in the face. With a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, she flipped open the third file, Meredith's, and focused immediately on the signature of the surgeon. To her own horror, she saw her husband's name on the line.

She called for a nurse as soon as she could fathom what this meant. "Dr. Shepherd, what can I do for you?" asked a young woman in scrubs, sticking her head in the door.

"Please page Dr. Venne for me, Stacey."

The nurse nodded, and Addison reached for her cell phone. She dialed furiously. "Mark?" she said, before he could finish answering. "I need you here now."

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Dr. David Venne stepped into Addison Shepherd's room. "What can I do for you, Addison?"

"David, can you tell me what you recall about the night I was brought into the hospital?" He nodded.

"I was on call. In the cafeteria when I got the page. I heard from the nurses that the interns went ballistic about Grey. They called me in to do her surgery, but Derek wouldn't here it. Threw his clip board at wall, and told Chief Webber that Grey was going to die. Throwing obscenities around, basically defied a direct order from the chief to do your surgery."

Addison blinked at him, wondering how the hell he got off being so blunt, and then realized he didn't know. "David, when did you transfer here?"

"Only about a week before that happened. Came from Portland."

She nodded and thanked him. He left, and she was almost grateful he didn't know about Meredith and Derek. No one else would have been so blunt with her, and she needed to hear that.

Mark stepped into the room, and Addison's face was cold. "You didn't see fit to tell me?"

Mark looked at her quizzically, noticed the files in her hand, and then closed his eyes. "Wasn't my place to tell you, Addie." He said softly.

"Wasn't your place? Jesus, Mark, it's not your place to be here, yet here you remain! I would have wanted to know. I've been trying so hard with him for the last month, wondering why he's been so reserved. God, they probably think I'm stupid."

Mark tried to stay calm, but he couldn't help himself. "Addison, don't you get it? I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't! I'm fighting for you, Addie, and telling you would be cheating, it wouldn't be right, and it would only give you and Derek a reason to drag out this charade for another six months, because it didn't end the right way. I have to toe the line here, or I'm fucked."

He stared at her for a long time, trying to make sense of everything. "But since it's not even my place to be here, I just might be fucked regardless of how I handle things."

He knew he needed to calm down before he said something he would really regret. He turned on his heel, and for the second time that day, walked out, leaving Addison alone.

For the first time in the month since she was shot, Addison started to cry.