Chapter Twelve: The Talk

It's been a few days since Gou ran off and I've had no luck in finding him. It's the weekend so maybe I'll be more likely to cross paths with him. But if he doesn't want to be found, what else can I do?

Still reeling from Spencer's spontaneous phone call, I rush down the long halls and winding corridors, unable to breathe, my heavy heart pounding relentlessly in my ever-tightening chest. Upon approaching the room labeled number 126, I spot an old friend laying in a hospital bed. He's someone I feared seeing again. I stand there just outside the doorway, unsure of what to say or do, time at a standstill. Slowly, I open it, and the blonde haired man peers up at me from his spot by the wall, the bed's remote in his right hand. While the upper half of the bed is moving him into an upright position, he seems frazzled and haggard still, but thankfully he's coherent and unhooked from the machines and IVs now.

"What's up?" He gravely asks, his voice hoarse. He looks like someone who's seen a thousand sorrows.

I steadily stride in and sit in the hard plastic seat next to him, still tongue tied. How could I not be, I took his best friend away, and then on a drunken whim fell off the grid with no contact.

"It's been a long time." I say, feeling numb, my legs trembling a tad.

"Too long." Max says, a mix of emotions swirling in his ocean eyes, entangling themselves in his voice too. Hurt, anger, relief, sadness, worry, resentment, happiness, disbelief; it's a major storm and I'm driving into it at full speed. Some might even say headfirst.

"How are you holdin' up?" I try again, my mind racing with the possibilities of what he may do to me. At this point, I wouldn't put anything past him, I've cut them way too deep.

"Fair enough I guess, all things considered." Max says with a soft shrug, his frame seeming much smaller than I remember.

"Mm, you'll be out of here before you know it and back to normal."

I see that he wants to say something else but the gears of his mind shift into a new direction.

"Where the hell were you, all these years?"

There it is, the anger and other negative emotions are openly radiating from him. He doesn't shout his question, not like he wants to, but he lets it be known.

"I'm sorry. I was afraid I'd hurt him."

"Yeah, you probably would've." He snaps, the buildup boiling more.

I shrink at the dark, accusing tone. I know he's not wrong but it still hurts to hear.

Max's eyes go sharp, piercing me as if they were knives, "Why didn't you stay, get help here?! I would've taken you in, cared for you both until you were better, you know that! But no, once a stubborn fool, always a stubborn fool!"

My mouth opens and closes a few times, lips trembling. "I didn't want him-"

He interrupts me, screaming while he tries to scoot closer to me, unable to move to his lower half, "No, you didn't! Not wanting to abuse him I understand. And being away for six months to a year to sober up, I kind of can wrap my head around. But for you to go God-knows-where for twelve years and not contact him at all- Bullshit!"

My younger brother cries but I don't dare move, I just stay still and let him have at me. As far as I'm concerned, he and Gou can wring my neck all they want, because I deserve it.

Still sobbing his heart out, Max continues, "Deep down, you thought getting rid of him would ease your pain. Well, listen here you damned impertinent little dipstick, I know for a fact it didn't, because you're not the only one Charlotte's death affected! She was my little sister, or did you somehow forget that fact? UGH, I could strangle you for all you've done... Asshole!"

I wipe the tears from my eyes, remorseful, "I'm sorry."

"And you can forget taking him from me. I raised him, not you!"

Sniffling, and choking back another hard sob, I add, "... I know, and I can't thank you enough for that. You took on something you didn't have to. As far as I'm concerned, you are Gou's father. I'm just the sperm donor."

Max swallows a lump, sniffling, "We're family. It's what you're supposed to do."

My gaze lowers to the floor for a minute then back up at him, "Still, I can't imagine the betrayal you two must've felt."

"I won't lie, that was pretty shitty."

"Yeah." I clear my throat, "I was gonna call to apologize, but uh, I royally suck, so-"

Max smiles, the threatening atmosphere leaving us, "I'm not the one you need to say all this to. Why are you here anyway?"

I take a deep breath and shakily say my explanation, "I came to teach, he just happened to fall into my roster. I'd give anything to rewind time, and raise him as I should've, but I can't. All I can do is hope he'll still want me in his life."

Straightening up and shifting in my seat, I ask, "Why didn't you say anything to him?"

Max glares at me, arms going over his tiny chest, "Why didn't you?"

"Though I was torn on the issue, ultimately, I didn't feel like I had the right to. I'd been gone for so long that he didn't know me. And it wouldn't have been fair to you. He does know though. My temper got the better of me and it came out of nowhere."

I look at him expectantly, waiting for him to speak. The air between us is growing lighter but the tension is still there. Maybe that will change as time wears on.

"I see... I wanted to protect him from you and the mess you'd made. I felt you didn't deserve someone so wonderful and he didn't deserve someone so horrible. Tyson was right, in the end, I should've just told him regardless of how I felt on the matter."

Max turns away, looking ashamed of himself, "Maybe then he wouldn't be fighting a losing battle. But he won't listen to me."

We both feel that way, him showing it more than me, but all we can do now is move forward.

"Not that I condone waiting this long, but I understand why you did. About two years after I left I got help. I went to rehab for my gambling addiction and Alcoholics Anonymous for treatment. In time, after losing it all, I started my life over and became a teacher. I wanted to check-in on you guys, but I couldn't muster up the courage. I resigned from my last job because students kept throwing themselves at me. Somehow I landed back here. I took the job because my funds were running low. I never dreamed I'd come across him, let alone at my old school. I can't believe I ran across Ray and Tyson's kids too. That floored me."

Max briefly smirks at me, "They insisted on going wherever together no matter what, because that's them. Though I don't think they're friends anymore."

My face sours, "Yeah, I noticed that. Regardless of your stances on Pot, Gou's gettin' involved with the wrong crowd. Lionel's fine enough, but the others he hangs around with, including those four snooty bullies, are some nasty people. And they won't let him leave that life unaltered."

Max nods, agreeing with me. He eases back into the pillows, the anger gone. "I knew it was bad but he's hardly home so I had no clue. Guess he's been with you?"

"Most days. I'm at home on paid leave, but I kick him out if it gets too much. If he's not with me, I'm guessing he's been with Lionel. That guy lives on his own, in an all but neglected trailer park."

"Ah, that explains some things. Why he came and went as he did especially." Max pauses and adds in a confused tone, "Wait, at home? Kai, why aren't you at the school?"

I snort, laughing about the issue. It's not that i find it funny, no, just ironic. It was the same reason I'd left my other job in Cairo. "Raul's daughter, Agatha Esther Fernandez, accused me of- I'm sure you can guess. Well, what started it was that I called her out some time ago, more or less rejecting her advances along with many others. I didn't single her out but she didn't see it that way. Then, the day before I got arrested, I pissed her off more. I don't know where she gets it from but she likes to interrupt me any chance she can, thinks she knows it all. At my wit's end, I told her that if she knew so much and could do my job better, then she could teach the class. She got embarrassed and was not happy. I kept all the notes and stuff as proof that they made the first moves, not me."

Max's jaw, in shock, nearly detaches itself from his face. "Damn. I'm so sorry, man. What are you gonna do next?"

"Well, seeing as Raul's daughter admitted to her lies and they submitted papers to the District Attorney's office explaining everything, including details about who really messed with her- the janitor- I'll probably go back to teaching after the holidays. I'll do all I can to be there for them, including her." Giving him a hard look that keeps his attention, I add, "And whether you like it or not, Gou has a say."

"You mean whether you're around or not?"

"Mhmm." I hum out, giving him a firm nod. "As far as we go, it's not up to us anymore. No input or influence. He decides."

Max punches my arm, making me laugh instead of emoting any sort of pained reaction, "Aye aye, captain Kai."

"Damnit, Max." I say, laughing as I push him back.

I can see in Max's eyes that he's happy for the time being, but in the deepest depths I spot that he's trying to put the pieces of the 'accusation' story together. There are pieces I've left out of it but those will come to light later, as will other things. For now, I think I'd just rather focus on the matter at hand... Finding Gou alive and repairing what's left of the three of us.