Hammelburg, Luftwaffe Regional Headquarters, Supply Office
July 8, 1944, 1945 hours

Author's Note: This chapter contains scenes and dialogue from the episode Klink vs. the Gonkulator, written by Phil Sharp. They have been used without permission.

Captain Ernst Dingle sat at his desk in Luftwaffe Headquarters playing a game of solitaire. He hated working evenings – the headquarters building was empty and nobody ever called to requisition anything after hours. But it had been General Burkhalter's orders that the supply office be manned until midnight and after seeing the grief the General gave Captain Dunkelberger a few months back with the mail fiasco, Dingle didn't want to take any chances. So he sat in his office most evenings and played cards.

The phone on his desk rang and he picked it up. "Captain Dingle, supply officer," he said. "Yes, Colonel Klink." He listened to the Kommandant of the local Luft Stalag, a frown slowly appearing on his face. "Information about a gonkulator?" He reached over to grab his master supply notebook and began leafing through it. "Well of course I know what it is." In truth, he had no idea what the Colonel was talking about. What the hell is a gonkulator?

He leafed through the pages of the notebook hoping to find something. "What model number did you want to know about?" he asked. He reached for another notebook. "Well naturally sir, we must have the model number." That ought to satisfy him. If he can give me a model number, I can find it. And if he can't, I won't be able to tell him anything. His smile was short-lived as he listened to the telephone headset. "General information?" Damn! He would want to know general information about something that I have never heard of!

An idea came to him suddenly as he remembered the advice he had once gotten from another supply officer. "Well, I'm … I'm sorry sir. The gonkulator is classified secret and we are not allowed to give that information out." He listened to Klink express his disappointment in bothering him at the late hour. "Yes, sir," he said, hanging up the phone.

He had begun to leaf through the notebooks once more. What the hell is a gonkulator? The phone rang again and he picked it up. "Captain Dingle, supply officer," he said. "Oh yes, General Burkhalter." Great, what does he want?

As he listened to the phone, a look of disbelief spread across his face. "You want to know about the gonkulator?" he asked. What is it with this gonkulator tonight? Well, if it worked once, I might as well try it again. "Well I'm sorry sir but the gonkulator is classified secret and we are not allowed to give that information out." He was pleased when he heard the General accept the explanation. "Yes, sir," he said, hanging up the phone. I'd better find out what this gonkulator is. He reached for his other supply books to look through them.

- - - - -

Burkhalter chuckled as he hung up the phone. "Classified secret – that is a good one," he mumbled to himself. He had been suspicious ever since he had heard the word from Klink – he did not think there was such a thing as a gonkulator. Now he knew for sure. It was the oldest trick in the book of supply officers to call something classified secret if you didn't know what it was. That was a piece of knowledge he picked up from his friend General Webber, who worked his way up through the supply office.

Burkhalter smiled. "Hogan is up to something again," he said to himself. "I can feel it. I wonder what it is." He had learned to accept some strange things to come out of Colonel Hogan's mind, and he knew he should try to play along with them. And now he was curious to see the thing that Hogan called a gonkulator.

He heard a car stop in front of his chalet. "That will be Elsa," he said, his smile growing wider. "Thoughts of the gonkulator will have to wait … it is time for some more pleasant thoughts!" He rose and walked to the door. "Elsa, my dear, come in, come in!"

- - - - -

Elsa cuddled beside the General in the bedroom of the chalet, her fingers tracing the girth of Burkhalter's bare chest. Their bodies were sticky with sweat – partly from the oppressive heat of the summer night and partly from their recent strenuous activity.

"Do you really have to go away again, Albert?" Elsa said. "I was hoping we would have more time together."

"You know I must, my dear," he replied. "The Führer is returning to his headquarters in the east tomorrow and I must report for a meeting."

"But I will miss you," she complained.

"And if I do not go, the Führer will put me in front on some men with guns who will not miss me," he countered. He caressed her cheek. "It will only be for a few days. I do not have to stay there."

She snuggled closer to him. "Good," she murmured.

Burkhalter smiled in the darkness. Yes it is good, my dear. I would hate to have to remain there and listen to the lies being told by all the Generals. I would much rather be here with you … fighting the war in my own way. And I really want to find out what kind of thing Hogan is trying to pass off as a gonkulator!

"What are you thinking about, Albert?" she asked softly, continuing to caress his chest.

"I was thinking about gonkulators," he said truthfully.

Elsa giggled and reached her hand down below Burkhalter's abdomen. "It seems like your gonkulator was thinking about something else," she said.

Burkhalter burst out laughing as he pulled her to him. "Elsa my dear, you say the funniest things!" he said.