Disclaimer, in case it wasn't obvious. I don't own Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, or really any other property. Thank you.
Secondary Disclaimer: Be warned, this chapter is messed up.
The Long Road
Chapter 37: Power
Pan: Four Days Later
"... All she does is train," Pan said as she stared out the window, looking out of it from the top of the couch.
So far Mister Gohan had been there every day. Some days he went out, either to get things, or to go looking for 'someone' as he put it. The best part about all of it was when he brought her books to read. Some of them he said were from his own childhood, that his mommy had given him. They were complicated, and she didn't like reading them that much, but when he sat down with her and helped her... well... it made it more fun. Really, everything was more fun when he was around, if not because he found a way to make it more fun, then for the fact he was there.
Breakfasts were also great now. Even her mother looked relieved that Gohan did the cooking, which was something she'd never admit. They were always so... awkward around one another, and Pan noticed. When she wasn't in the room, she knew that they argued. It was strange, but it only took a second when she entered a room with them in it, for whatever they were talking about to melt away, and they tried to get along while she was there. Were they fighting over her? It was hard to imagine, but she never understood why they were so stand-off or harsh to one another.
"She's trying to get stronger," Gohan responded to Pan, sitting down next to her and looking over several books. "Hey, get down, we're doing the reading thing."
"But why is she trying to get stronger? You'll protect us, and you're really strong."
"I'm not quite sure, you'd have to ask her," Gohan responded.
It was a non-answer, and Pan always hated being deflected. Turning around and facing him, before climbing down the couch, she crossed her arms stubbornly.
"Why do you always fight?" she asked.
"I've not fought in months, and trust me kid, I'm all the happier for it. These scars don't come out of nowhere, I promise," he said bluntly.
"No, why do you always argue with mommy?" she pushed.
The question lingered in the air for several moments, before he turned and looked back at her, giving a half smile. There was something behind the warm look he gave her, his tail flicking behind him nervously. Reaching up, he ruffled her hair quietly for a moment, before turning ahead to the book.
"When you get older Pan, you'll find out the world isn't easy to deal with sometimes," he told her. "Life isn't going to be fair, and that means sometimes people don't get along. Sometimes it's because people make mistakes, other times it's because they don't get along. Your mother and I... it's complicated," he finally answered. "But you know what I forgot? I told you when we first met, that I'd teach you about Saiyans, didn't I?"
With every word she heard someone who sounded worn out, and tired. Even at her young age, it was the sound of pain that came from his lips, but it was old pain, not new. It was only when he changed subjects, that a mask was thrown over the real him, revealing instead the happy figure who was always there for her. It was confusing for Pan to watch, and for some reason it made her sad as well. When he smiled reassuringly again, it was enough to make the girl smile back, trying to feel reassured.
"You did," she answered slowly. "But what are Saiyans?"
"We're Saiyans," Gohan was quick to answer. "Some of the last, in fact, I think we're the last Saiyans with tails."
Looking down immediately, Pan saw her own tail unfurl from her waist and began moving around in front of her. She grasped it with her hands, feeling the familiar sensation of her hands stroking against the soft fur. After a few seconds, she turned her attention back to Gohan, but her hands still clutched her tail.
"How many Saiyans are there?" she asked. "And why am I a Saiyan? Isn't my mommy a person?"
The question gave an immediate response. The body beside her went rigid and Gohan sat awkwardly.
"Well, let me think. For numbers, only a handful of us survived the loss of the home world. On Earth today? There are seven of us, including hybrids like you and me," he explained. "And hybrid means a mix. You're mom's a human, just like my mom is, which means we're not pure Saiyans."
It was so fascinating to hear. Did that make her an alien? Part of what he was saying didn't seem to make sense, but it made enough sense for Pan at the moment.
"So my dad is a Saiyan?" she asked.
Stiffly, Gohan nodded towards Pan.
"I used to know him," he answered. "Not the nicest guy. He went away a couple years ago, haven't seen him since. He's probably floating around up there somewhere."
Gohan pointed up, referring to the stars. It seemed too fantastic to be real, but it also cut to the bone. Why'd he leave? Didn't he want to be around them? Was that why her mom was so angry all the time? It didn't make sense.
"Why'd he leave?"
"I'll have to explain that when you're older. He probably went off to find something to fight. Saiyans are naturally a warrior species. We're drawn to conflict and fighting," he explained. "It's not necessarily the best thing. Fighting leads to pain and disappointment, but that's just what I've learned."
No one was stronger then Gohan as far as Pan could tell, not her mom, or her grandpa, or the big mean Broly monster. It meant he was stronger then anyone out there, but he didn't like fighting? If he was strong, why didn't he? Given how her mommy talked about strength, she couldn't grasp why he didn't like it, or why it hurt.
"But you're strong," Pan countered. "That means..."
"That I'm strong," Gohan immediately responded. "Being strong doesn't mean anything, other then that you have strength. It doesn't mean your a good person, or a bad one. Strong people can hurt a lot of people, they can save a lot of people too. Sometimes strong people have to make decisions, and they aren't always perfect, and sometimes those decisions hurt a lot."
Looking towards the book and opening it quietly, Gohan just seemed to give a weak smile.
"Don't go nuts like your mom over getting stronger. I promise it never works out how you want it to. There are always strings attached," he explained. "But enough about strength and Saiyans. I'm sure you're probably better off learning what's in this book, then you are about things you don't need to worry about."
Reluctantly, Pan pulled her attention towards the book Gohan was holding, before looking back up at him.
"But if being strong is so bad, why does mommy want to get stronger?"
"You'd have to ask her yourself, kid."
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Piccolo: The Lookout
For some reason, Piccolo could imagine Garlic laughing.
The Six Star Dragon Ball from planet Namek was gone. The village elder who oversaw the ball never even saw it missing, it was just plainly gone. It seemed almost impossible that Garlic could go to Namek to take the ball. He made no wishes on Earth, he had no space craft, and he had no teleporting abilities. What did that mean? It was just a coincidence? That he had allies beyond his demon allies? Did he have some kind of ally on Namek? Where was the power signal?
Without the Dragon Balls, on either Earth or Namek, we need to find Garlic, and soon.
In the afterlife, there was no sign of Goku at all. It lead the Namekian to a disturbing conclusion there as well. Goku wasn't dead, and if he was dead, he would have immediately attempted to make contact with them to help in any way he could with whatever happened. Instead, he'd not only not moved into the check station, he was nowhere near King Kai or anything else in the next life. It was confusing and frustrating all at once.
Everything didn't add up. It seemed impossible that Garlic jr., even if he were five or six times as powerful as he'd been fighting Trunks, could produce enough power to fight Goku. There was no signs of a battle even occurring? It was almost as if Goku just disappeared from the face of the world itself. If he wasn't dead, that did mean one thing to Piccolo.
The Dead Zone.
Somehow, Goku had been thrown into the prison which had contained Garlic jr. for so many years. A deep eternal pit of darkness of which there was no escape. There was no contact with the outside world, it was the ultimate embodiment of the desolate and madness fuelled hopelessness. If Goku had yet to die from inside of there, it was only because he'd found a way to survive, but there would be no escape... not without the Dragon Balls.
Of which they had none, and Garlic had two. Worse, the two he had, didn't appear on any kind of radar.
So we'll have to scour the Earth just to find him.
That was the option he'd least wanted. Enemies could move, double back over their tracks, and displace themselves relatively easily, especially when they didn't want to be found. It could also accelerate the rate which he attempted to gather the Dragon Balls. So they needed to plan for two things, the first thing was to secure the remaining Dragon Balls, the second was to find Garlic and eliminate him by any means possible, and get back the two Dragon Balls he'd hidden away.
Right now he already knew Vegeta was spending an over abundance of time trying to find Garlic, but they were going to need more then just Vegeta looking for him. Tien would be a great asset, and perhaps Krillin and Android 18. The other one, was of course, Gohan. Marshaling the Saiyan's support was awkward after the battle they'd had at the World Martial Arts Tournament.
Still, it was what needed to be done.
"Gohan."
The message was sent out as Piccolo closed his eyes, trying to concentrate. He knew full well Gohan heard him, it was just going to be if he responded.
"I'm kind of busy at the moment. If you'd like to leave a message."
"The Dragon Balls on Namek aren't going to work. We're going to need your help."
"Fuck my life."
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Videl:
When Gohan's frame burst through the air, Videl felt something uncomfortable about the rate which he moved. It was undoubtedly some other kind of 'crisis' for him, as it'd been the other day apparently. It was a strange mixture of concern and resentment she felt when she saw him take flight. It was concern for all the innocent people whose lives could be at risk, and resentment for the fact it was him going off to save them. He was a bully and a beast, who saved millions of people from the Broly monster, if not the whole world.
Her desire to train almost evaporated the second she saw it however, her eyes being utterly unable to even follow him beyond the momentary blur he'd left behind. He was inside her house, and never left her thoughts, even if she did hate him. She felt like everything she was doing was because he wouldn't leave her the fuck alone. More then anything she hated how powerless he made her feel by just being in the room. Every time she tried to do anything, he overpowered her, without even lifting a finger. He even overpowered her in regards to inviting himself to just live with her. He even overtook her when it came to her training. Every day she was losing a piece of her freedom.
And every day, it sucked every shred of self esteem away from her. Who could be more useless then she was? Every day he took away anything that made her feel like she had anything in life. He stripped her dignity away from her the first day they'd met, and now he was slowly taking everything else from her. There was no recourse, there was no response, because he'd taken any means of her getting anything back from him away too.
He even took Pan away from me.
Looking back towards her home, she saw her little girl staring after where he'd gone. Did she do that whenever she went anywhere? In the seconds he was gone, she already longed to see him again. He'd become her father, without even telling her that he was her father. She still didn't understand, and no matter how much she felt she tried, she couldn't even recapture her daughter's attention. Was it the money? Was it him taking her places? She barely observed the two together, it made her sick to see, but every time she did, ever since the first time she'd seen Pan with Gohan, they'd been happy. It wasn't Gohan who was the odd one out.
It was her.
Without even realizing it, Videl's body had been trembling. A hot feeling rolled down her left cheek as she felt herself shakily trying to breath. With a trembling hand, she reached up with one finger and brushed the tear aside, trying to hold it together. The truth was however, that holding it together was not even an option. A sob escaped her throat as she tried to do anything to avoid the breakdown that had been coming for years. Every day she saw it in the distance, but knew she could avoid it for another day. Her friends were all gone, her family estranged, her daughter had been stolen from her, and she was living with the man she hated the most in the world. Worst still, her daughter loved him more then her.
But the worst part of it all, was she was weak, and she was never going to be anything but weak. It was enough to make her almost vomit on the spot as she struggled to hold back more tears and failed. Part of the idea of being weak was exhilarating, as it didn't make her responsible for anything, or anyone. It meant she could be hurt and had the excuse that it was someone else's fault. More hot lines of water rolled down her cheeks as she felt her vision blur. It was far enough away that she knew Pan wouldn't see her, but that didn't matter. Everything had fallen apart for her again.
Managing to keep her movements together, she stumbled almost behind a tree before resting her back against it, facing away from the house as she gasped for air. Finally more choked sobs left her as she slowly slit down the tree, resting her head in her hands.
She was trapped and she had no way out. It was like the walls were closing in around her. Her heart thumped in her chest in almost a panic at the realization of what was happening around her. There was no escape from any of this. Anywhere she went he'd haunt her, and she couldn't even hide. She couldn't even just leave to escape.
With another choked noise, she let her head fall back against the old bark of the tree and just breathed desperately, trying to calm down as her face contorted, trying to hold back her pain and tears. Unconsciously one of her hands reached up to her heart, grasping her chest and shirt, almost digging her fingers in. It felt like her heart was going to rip out of her chest.
Closing her eyes, she finally felt herself slowly coming up from the hole of despair she found herself in. She'd hardly escaped the canyon, but at least she felt herself keeping herself in control, in check. When she opened them again, her eyes passed through the trees all around her, looking at the sky as it broke through the canopy above. A few white clouds broke through into her vision of the sky, and she just breathed out painfully.
Today.
She didn't know what else to do, or when else to do anything, but today she felt something needed to change. She was being torn in a thousand directions. She wanted to be powerful, she wanted revenge, and she fed on being humiliated. She wanted her daughter but she wanted to be strong. Nothing made sense anymore and she just wanted everything to stop spinning out of control.
She wanted another life, something far away from the one she had. It was the first time she'd admitted it to herself. Everything she had right now just was empty. When Gohan got back, she knew she wouldn't just cow to him again.
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Gohan:
It seemed pointless going out on some search, scouring the planet. Especially when Vegeta had circumvented the globe a dozen times already searching for the monster that attacked his home the other day. Even now he looked out across a sea, staring down at islands dotting the landscape, and he felt nothing. There was no energy there, there was just humans and stray animals. It was utterly frustrating to think that whoever this was, could just reach out and strike at them from the shadows and recede seemingly at will before any reprisal.
If this were his old life, he'd have just destroyed the planet. Though obviously, that wasn't going to happen, and he hardly thought it was a good option. The real problem was, even if they caught him, even if he was weak, he was still apparently immortal, according to Piccolo. It was a god damn disaster either way, if Garlic was really immortal.
It wasn't as if he was scared of the idea of an invincible enemy, simply because he didn't believe that Garlic jr. was really immortal. How could he be? The Dragon Balls performed incredible feats, but there had to be a limit, and eternal life clearly had to be it. Perhaps he couldn't age to death anymore, but so what?
He was going to break the monster's face in and snap his neck. If that didn't work he'd atomize him. Given the outright attack on Bulma and Trunks, part of him felt a worry nestling in the back of his skull. What if that'd been Pan in the rubble, not Bulla? Something cold wormed its way through his spine a second later, feeling almost a cold wind blow past him. Closing his fist a moment later, he quietly felt in the direction of Videl's home, and of Goku's house. Thankfully both seemed safe. He could sense Videl's energy, and Goten's, and neither were in distress.
Fuck. Is this really getting to me?
What was there to get to him? He was the strongest fighter on the planet at the moment. But then how did this weakling knock off his dad, without anyone noticing? How could you protect anyone? Then there was the problem of if this guy was really immortal.
No, he's going to be some chump.
Even though Piccolo thinks he's immortal. The Namek isn't going to make something like that up.
Fuck.
Everything he'd ever come across before he came to the Earth, he just beat into conforming to his will, except for Cooler or Turles. Paragus, Slug, and billions of others just died because he'd wanted it to be that way, even if he was ashamed of most of it now. When he got to Earth, all his strength seemed hollow and pointless compared to everyone elses. But through his determination, he overtook them, even his father Goku. But that was all about power. He had it, and he knew it. Even when Vegeta was losing it at his home, Gohan knew he could overwhelm the Prince. But how did you overwhelm something which cannot die? Something that may not even be able to be profoundly injured?
How did you harm something that cannot die?
It was unsettling, and had been able to be avoided by the idea they'd just use Dragon Balls to make him vulnerable. Now there was no such opportunity. Visibly, he wasn't worried or shaken, but inside his mind really felt anxiety over it. They'd figure a way around it, and besides... Garlic was apparently even weaker now then he was when he fought Trunks. He couldn't even harm him. If he hurt anyone that he cared about, he'd deal with Garlic, and then fix it with the Dragon Balls.
It was an easy solution, even if it was one that he'd not want to face. The idea of dealing with the loss of family members again was unsettling.
I'm not doing any good flying around this planet looking for fleas right now. Piccolo will figure something out.
If anything, he just wanted to take his mind off all of this. Maybe he could take Pan somewhere and just try to forget about another battle he didn't want. Life could go on as it was until it was disrupted again. At the end of the day, Garlic couldn't win, and neither could they, at least in his opinion. Until something changed, he couldn't become obsessed with it.
Let Vegeta get obsessed.
Letting his aura overtake him again, the purple energy field felt familiar. His strength boiled to the surface, but not to his Super Saiyan form. Twisting in the air, he arced his body towards 'home' and took off, flying low to the ground, if only to buzz past the trees and scenery on his way. For some reason he always felt better being closer to the ground, even if somethings he took to the clouds for fun or something different. But right now, he just enjoyed sweeping past the planet, close to its surface.
This place, the home of his mother and the place of his birth, was really a precious planet. Of all his time in space, of all his travelling for years, nowhere felt more... safe, or at home, then this planet. Of course it was his home now, but that wasn't the point. He'd defended this place with his blood, and so had his entire family. It had a special meaning to him now, one which slowly grew with him as he found more to protect on the surface of this world.
If he only knew how to fix things in his personal life, perhaps he could finally find some peace once this was all over. After fighting for two decades, after all the brutal injuries and near death incident, he just wanted to fighting to stop. It didn't mean he wouldn't fight someone, or kill if necessary, but fighting itself stopped bringing him any pleasure a long time ago. Hell, even the pleasure he got, often only masked his real feelings regarding it all.
It was ironic, that the man who often threw his power around, hated fighting... and it wasn't lost on Gohan himself.
Blasting past the last of the trees only as the sun began to set in the sky, Gohan landed with both feet and at high speed, crashing into the barren ground outside the cabin in the woods Videl called home. Mud splashed in all directions, but in a massive wave facing away from him as the force his body generated from his landing sent the earthy substance into the air. It crashed into the grass and trees like a small tidal wave, and Gohan smirked to himself, before looking downa t how mud soaked he was.
Well, that's the last time I try to have fun.
It was just mud, it would come out of his clothes, probably.
Anyway, that wasn't a big concern. It was getting late after most of his day looking for someone who they could never hope to find seemingly, and he just wanted to eat, put Pan to bed, and then crash on the couch. The couch was uncomfortable sure, but it was fine compared to some of the other bullshit things he'd slept on in the past.
Like rocks. Good ol' rocks. Always so inviting and comfortable.
Walking to the front door, Gohan placed his hand over it, hearing something inside.
"Go to bed Pan, right now."
"No, I want to see Mister Gohan before-"
"I'm not taking anymore of this Pan. Listen to me right now. You are going to bed. Right now. Now get your teeth done-"
"You're so mean!"
Fuck, he was going to have to put out this kind of fire now? Couldn't he just eat something and then sleep?
This was more bullshit then hunting for the demon with the immortality.
Opening the door, he stepped in watching the two squaring off against one another. Pan looked angrier then he'd ever seen, clearly defiant of her mother. Tensions between the two grew every day, and Gohan knew exactly why. They'd still be growing whether he was there or not. He knew he'd get the blame for it of course.
"Pan-" Videl started, looking furious and frustrated herself.
"Pan, get ready for bed," Gohan ordered.
Immediately the little girl's attention broke away from her mother, and she rushed towards him, crashing into his legs and wrapping her arms around him.
"Mister Gohan!" she almost shouted with relief. "Mommy was being-"
"Pan," Gohan said, his face turning to stone, looking down at her seriously. "I'm always happy to see you, but I'm not here to protect you from your mom's orders. Go to bed."
It was the best way to handle this. He didn't want to get even more grief from Videl then he was already going to get. After all, he just wanted to eat something and then sleep. Everything else he could take care of tomorrow, especially now that it was obvious that he and Pan weren't going to spend much time together in the dying moments of the day.
"B-but," Pan stumbled with her words, looking at him in betrayal. Slowly, tears welled in her eyes as she felt the figurative knife plunge into her back. "B-b-b."
"Stop," Gohan ordered, kneeling down in front of her. "Go brush your teeth and I'll tuck you in, alright? But you're going to bed."
A disappointed face just turned down defeat before Gohan stood up again.
"C'mon, get moving," Gohan ordered.
Turning up from Pan, he saw the look Videl was giving him. It already told him that there was something to 'talk' about. Part of her looked like she was intending to kill him. He doubted that because Videl didn't have the balls to do something like that, and he also was terrible at reading her. Given that she was probably crazy as far as he could tell, it was always going to be hard to read her. When Pan rushed off to the bathroom, the opening salvo was prepared to be fired.
"Hey," Gohan said shortly.
The complete lack of a verble response let him know just how measured this was going to be. Rolling his eyes, he stepped past her, walking towards the bathroom where Pan was brushing her teeth. With the final spit of toothpaste out of her mouth, he gave her a half smile.
"C'mon, off to bed," he urged.
"Will you read me a story?"
"Tomorrow," Gohan assured. "I promise."
Another disappointed look crossed his daughter's face, but she nodded to him, seeing that he was being serious. A few seconds later they'd arrived in her room, where he pulled open her covers for her. "Alright, hop in."
Please don't try to guilt me into something else here Pan. I really, really just want today over.
"Can you-"
"Tomorrow," Gohan promised as he rolled the cover over her. "No joke, I'll take care of it, whatever it is."
Walking over to the light, he flicked it off before turning his head. "And go to sleep. That's in order."
With that, Gohan stepped out of the room and shut the door, breathing a sigh of relief before stepping into the tiny kitchen. Anything filling his stomach at this point would do. The sound of feet angrily approaching him told him however that his meal was going to be postponed. Turning his head towards Videl, intending to respond to a scathing remark, instead he found a fist in his vision. There was no time to shift the gears in his mind towards combat before the blow landed. Energy put behind it made it strong enough to make his head turn dizzy for a moment before he took two steps back, blinking at what just happened.
Instinct cut in a second later as he deflected her next fist.
"Are you fucked?" Gohan asked, not hiding his annoyance.
Because that's all this was, an annoyance.
"You bastard," she seethed furiously, throwing another punch, this one he caught out of the air easily, just staring back at her, closing his hand around her fist. "You think you can just come here and do whatever you want. This is my home!"
Oh god, not this. She's finally whining about this?
"I'm going to make dinner for myself. Sit down over there, and we'll speak when I'm done."
What followed surprised Gohan more then anything. Any other time he'd have expected her to reluctantly agree, but instead she threw her other fist at him, making a furious noise as she did. Shoving forward, she slammed into him to no effect, trying to force him back. Instead her arms and body just failed to move him at all.
"You're pathetic," Gohan informed her, not wanting to spend anymore time with this. With only a fraction of his power, he shoved her back. "Here, let me help you."
Stumbling back, she hit the side of the couch before falling back helplessly onto it. Turning his attention back to his stomach, Gohan turned towards the fridge. When his hand grasped the handle, he felt her arms wrap around his waist from behind. An irritated growl escaped him.
"Just what do you-"
Before he could finish, she pulled back on him, shifting all his weight back before his head and shoulders crashed into the tile floor. Rolling back one, he found himself crouched on his hands and feet. It wasn't as if it heart, but it'd almost disoriented him for a second. When he knuckles planted themselves into his cheek, this time he was ready. His head barely turned from the impact. The hand withdrew a second later before she swept in towards him with a kick. Catching her foot and rising all in one motion, he then kicked her other leg out from her, before she hit the floor and screamed furiously.
"Mommy?! Mister Gohan!?" Pan shouted in fear from her room.
"Go to sleep!" Gohan and Videl shouted together.
"You've ruined everything!" Videl spat at him a second later, when Pan seemed to go silent.
"Yea, I ruined everything," Gohan said, letting her leg go and stepping over her, back towards the fridge. "You caught me Videl. Now yell at me after I've-"
Her feet planted into his back a second later, making him step forward towards the wall. His hand moved up, stopping himself from hitting it as he darkly looked ahead. His patience was wearing very, very thin.
"-eaten," he finished, before turning around and sharply gazing at her.
She was standing there, in her training sweats, looking as if she really, sincerely wanted to fight him.
"You're not worth my time Videl, how many times do I have you-"
"You're not going to just ignore me. I'm not afraid of you anymore," Videl hissed back at him. "I'm not going to just listen, or sit down. Get out of my house."
Right, that did it. He was hungry, he was trying to protect this mad woman, and trying not to kill her himself all at once. He couldn't even use any real ki, without risking harming Pan. If it weren't for Pan, he may have done something drastic much sooner. Stepping towards her with several powerful steps, he moved his arms up. Her first punch was cast aside by him without any effort, before he moved in past her defence and shoved her back, before landing a single knee into her side. A yelp of real, horrible pain escaped her before she limply hit the ground.
"Fuck!" Gohan shouted, angry not just at her, but himself. Walking over he grabbed her shoulder, flipping her on her back to see if she was still breathing.
As angry as he tried to stay, he felt pity for her a moment later as his lips pressed together, trying not to betray anything. She had a death wish, or maybe she wished she had a death wish. She was trying to be fearless and face her problems.
When she looked at him, with what strength she could obviously muster, she threw another impotent punch. Grabbing it and pulling her up, Gohan held the fist in place still, holding it above her.
"Stop," he ordered again.
Instead, she threw her other arm, this time with an elbow at him. He didn't even bother to block it. When it hit his chest, he barely felt it. Angrily, she pulled the arm away from him, tears in her eyes.
"You know you can't hurt me," he told her. "Stop it."
"What do you want?" she snapped at him. "Why can't you just leave me alone?! Why can't you just not come back!?"
Without another word, he let go of her hand, but didn't verbally respond.
Because I want to let the girl have a better life then I did. Because you're a mess. Because I'm trying to fix things. I want everyone to be happy, so I can finally be happy.
They were all things he should have said, but he was too much of a coward to admit it, especially to the woman who hated him.
She was labouring for breath, her left side clearly bruising.
"Kill me," she ordered finally, shoving him. "Fight me. Fuck me. Do something. Stop just the impassive stares! Stop ordering me around without any regard for me! Stop trying to steal my daughter! Just do whatever you're here for! I don't care anymore!"
With every word that passed, she looked increasingly distraught.
"I have nowhere, no one! You've taken it all away from me!" she almost sobbed before shoving him impotently again, this time not even budging him.
Angrily, she slapped him a second later, there wasn't even a sting on his cheek, but he moved his head to humour her. Turning back towards her, she just breathed helplessly before grabbing him again.
"Is this what you wanted then?" she demanded in a mixture of anger and grief. Moving into him, she kissed him aggressively.
What the fuck?
As soon as she broke the kiss, he could see the look on her face. It wasn't one of shock, love, lust, or anything else. It was one of fear and hopelessness. The first woman to kiss him in two years, was doing it because she was terrified. It spoke to him more of where his own life had gone, then just Videl's.
"I don't want this," he told her after a moment, letting his face of stone slowly shift. "Videl-"
"What the fuck do you want from me then?" she sobbed, finally collapsing to her knees.
Grabbing her by the shoulders, he pulled her up, before starting to guide her towards her room. Her breathing caught for a moment before he sat her on her bed.
"Go to sleep," he ordered impassively, inadvertently doing the exact thing Videl couldn't handle anymore. When she immediately rose, he internally groaned.
Immediately she grabbed aggressively at him, grabbing his muddy shirt and pulling with one hand, making an angry struggling noise as she clawed at him with her other hand, one he'd managed to restrain. Her teeth were clenched together in a scowling snarl. His shirt ripped along his neck a second later, making him breath angrily.
Just stop.
Using his free hand, he reached out, grabbing her other twist and putting enough pressure to lower her grip, before casting her arm away. Every moment she kicked at him, and did anything she could to try and harm him. Shoving her back a second later, he snarled right back at her. His patience was drawing to a close, he just didn't care anymore.
He didn't care that she was crazy. He felt like she was keeping Pan hostage somehow at this point. All he wanted was for this whole mess to just go away, but it was here, and he couldn't just turn his back on it.
Grabbing him again, he felt her push herself into him, kissing him again. He pulled his mouth back a second later, trying to keep her back. She'd lost it.
"Are you out of your mind?" he asked her bluntly, feeling her grab at him again.
"This is what you wanted from me, isn't it?" she asked again, looking at him with dangerous eyes. "Just do it."
Whatever. Who cares anymore?
I care.
"No," he answered again, trying to pull back. "What the fuck do you want, Videl?"
She seemed to pause as she stared at him, freezing in fear as her random assault of passion or vicious anger stopped. She could have a thousand things to ask.
"Power," she finally answered him honestly, staring him in the eyes as she pulled back on his torn shirt again. "I want power."
It was the truest thing she'd ever told him. Before her daughter, before just wanting him gone, she wanted to feel powerful.
Maybe it made her feel power, imposing herself on him. Maybe it made her feel like she was exposing him for what he was, or that she'd figured him out somehow. Maybe she was crazy, just like he always said and thought. In the end it didn't matter. She clawed his chest finally before kissing him. Her nails weren't long by any means, and just left red marks over his skin.
Any protest changed for him now. He really didn't care anymore. When she kissed him, he kissed back finally, grabbing her shoulder's as she stiffened at his response, but it didn't stop it anyway. Whatever happened, it'd probably feel better then if it didn't happen.
This was probably one of the worst mistakes of his life. But it was just one to add to the already large pile.
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Gohan:
Laying on his side, Gohan already knew he wasn't on the couch. If anything was to not be regretted, it was sleeping on a proper bed for the first time in too long. Right now he didn't want to move at all, lest he wake up the woman next to him. It saddened him more then anything that he'd never slept with a woman he'd loved. In space, he'd slept with prostitutes with a Saiyanoid frame when he hit puberty. They were hardly conquests. Here on Earth, he first took the woman next to him because he was bored, not even realizing the consequences. In his on again off again relationship with this planet, he'd had a few one night stands, all of them solely about sex.
He didn't even know what last night was about. Was it about the sex? Was it about power? Was it about Videl being crazy? Right now he didn't care. He just wanted to lay there as long as he could before she woke up, because when she woke up everything was going to go to shit. Down his chest she'd clawed him a dozen times. Red marks marred his already battle torn skin along his sides, arms, and back as well. The entire time they'd fucked, she'd been trying to hurt him. It was the oddest sex he'd ever had. It was confused, and angry. He didn't get it.
He could almost hear Turles, or Doore, telling him to not complain about getting a free ride.
But if this were a free ride, then free was more expensive then he'd ever known.
Finally the body in the bed next to him began to move. He pretended to stay asleep, only to feel her slowly get out of the bed, dragging most of the sheet with her. Opening his eyes, he saw her hobbling weakly towards the bathroom connected to her room. There was a sob which echoed out of the room a moment later, before he heard the sound of vomit.
Well, I can see last night will be remembered by all as a night of passion and true love.
Slowly sitting up in the bed, he felt himself trying to not care. Whatever happened, what did it matter? Sadly, it did matter to him. Even if he hated to admit it, right now he did care about what was happening. Dragging himself after her, he stepped to the edge of the bathroom, seeing her huddled over the toilet still half crying.
"... Are you alright?" he asked.
The sense of distress was overwhelming, even as she tried to pull herself together. She didn't respond to him at all. Cautiously, he stepped forward, putting his hand on her bare back, which immediately made her freeze. Hell, it almost made him freeze.
"Videl- Look- I. Shit. You know what I'm trying to say. I just want to make sure you're going to be-"
"Get out."
She didn't even look at him as she said it. The words sounded distant and barely real. Whatever last night was, clearly they both regretted it. Clearly she regretted it more then him. Fuck he was stupid for getting himself move involved with this. He should have ignored it all and just tried to crash on the couch. She couldn't hurt him. He dragged it out and was mad about the whole thing. She obviously have mental problems, she was obviously feeding off of them during the fight. He should have exercised better judgement. Every day he spent here was going to be more awkward then ever.
Stepping back, his hand leaving her back, Gohan walked back into her room and slipped his pants back on. The shirt was ruined, which was a shame as he liked his red shirt. From there it was a short journey to leaving her room all together, stepping into the small hall which connected the room to the living room. Walking a few steps further, he turned his head, seeing Pan sleeping the couch.
Fuck.
The fact she was there, meant she thought he was either gone, or heard what happened in the other room.
God damn it. I'm not even going to be able to make breakfast without waking her up.
His stomach growled even more loudly then before, making him flinch from having not provided it with sustenance. It was so frustrating, almost as much as confronting Pan about where he'd been last night if she didn't outright hear them. Worst of all he smelled like sweat and maybe sex at the moment. Despite the protests from his stomach, Gohan slipped into the bathroom and immediately started a shower.
The hot water hitting his skin most certainly felt good, but for some reason he didn't feel clean while showering.
Fuck, Gohan, any port in the storm? Really? What the Hell was I thinking? Now I've gotta live with this shit. She's still a fucking mess, and now I've gotta deal with Pan too? Fuck! FUCK! What the Hell was I thinking?
For a moment Gohan almost forgot where he was, and even when he was. He almost imagined himself in a cleansing chamber on a Planet Trade Vessel, thinking about how terrible a mission before had been. Especially if he made too many fuck-ups while serving. He was so mad he almost punched the wall, only staying his hand as he realized that doing so would destroy half the house given how mad he was. When the water finally stopped raining down on his head, he just stood there, hands pressed against the tiles in front of him as he tried to keep himself composed.
He had to get through the rest of the day, and try to figure out what the Hell he was doing. Stepping out of the shower, he quickly dried himself and put himself back in his pants. Walking out of the bathroom, he saw a very awake, if not spaced out Pan sitting on the couch. Walking over and kneeling down, he gave a half smile, trying to almost reassure her and himself at the same time.
"Hey kid," he greeted.
"..."
There wasn't a response at first as she just looked increasingly worried.
"You. You and mommy... you were yelling and fighting," Pan choked, almost devolving to tears. "You're going to leave."
"Sometimes adults have fights," Gohan admitted to Pan after a moment, not breaking his smile.
In truth he was almost as worried as she was. It wasn't that he was afraid of Videl. It was that he couldn't cope with dealing with more a more damaged person. The woman his daughter was supposed to be raised by was already a mess, and last night made it even worse.
Maybe I should leave, take the kid with me and just hope for the best. Except her father is famous and rich, and this would quickly turn into us constantly needing to live in the sticks. Do I really want that? Is that really better?
"B-but you were yelling, and-"
"Yes, those are parts of arguments sometimes Pan," Gohan assured her. "Nobody ever wants to fight. Sometimes they come because adults just can't agree on some things."
"-Are you trying to take me away?"
So, she'd heard that too. The last thing he wanted was for Videl to keep going on that he was trying to steal her daughter. Did the woman really think he wanted to be around here? For what? Shit if he didn't feel bad about how Pan came around, he'd have taken her away a long time ago. Hell, he only really started to seriously consider it now because he was worried.
"No," Gohan answered after a few seconds, placing his hand on her shoulder. "That wouldn't be very fair for your mom. Besides, you're mom loves you, right? Think how upset she'd be if you were gone."
Looking down, almost sad that he told her to the contrary, Pan just nodded in defeat. Sometime felt like it hit him in the gut when he saw it. He couldn't imagine wanting to be taken away from his home, to something unknown with a stranger. Gohan had lived that life, he'd seen where it went, he'd felt the loss of it.
I can fix this. I'll figure something out.
It was a reluctant thought, if only because he'd become entangled in this horrible mess. It was exactly what he didn't want. He didn't want to try and fix this household, shit he didn't even know how. But here he was, now trying to fix something he broke, and he didn't even know where to start or even how.
"Mommy?" Pan asked, turning to look past him with sad eyes.
Turning his head as well, Gohan caught side of Videl, dressed in a pair of jeans and a tank top with a bra under it. It was one of the few times he'd seen her not dressed in some kind of fighting attire. She was almost glaring at him, he could feel her eyes burrowing into him, before they seemed to just sadden after a moment.
Trying to still give the appearance of normality, Gohan gave a half smile back to Videl as well.
"Who wants breakfast?" he asked, trying to somehow keep the entire room contained.
As if somehow defeated by his words, Videl tried to mimic his false smile, even if somewhat more poorly then him.
"Thank you, Gohan," she answered after a moment, sounding unnaturally kind compared to usual. Anyone who saw their usual interactions would know it was ridiculous. "I think Pan and I would like breakfast."
They didn't need to argue, or fight, or anything in that second. The tension Gohan felt in his own body, and could see in hers, was so apparent it almost made itself manifest in physical form. When he looked back to Pan, he could see her eyes switching between the two of them, clearly not believing the charade being put on for her benefit. Nothing was said, nothing needed to be said in front of Pan.
Last night was not going to be the end of this. It was just the beginning of how fucked this situation was. He couldn't turn to anyone for help, and he wouldn't know who to turn to anyway. For all of his strength, for all of his resolve, he realized the truth of it all.
He was trapped.
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Author's Notes:
This was a pretty hard chapter to write for a bunch of reasons. One reason was I really wanted something like this to develop at the right time, and the more I wrote into the chapter, the more it felt like things should come to a head in this.
I'm also pretty sure some people won't like this chapter, but bear with me! Everything this saga ends up exactly as intended. :D
The first thing I wanna point out is that this wasn't some passionate display of love, just encase anyone was deluded enough to think what happened in this chapter was romantic. A lot of this has to do with Videl's psychology, which is going to be further shown in coming chapters. This is the result of crushed self-esteem, and masochism. The story is hardly done, and in this Saga there are two or three chapters yet told for this part of the story for Gohan and Videl. If you're waiting for action however, it's not much more of a wait. Everything planned is coming to a head soon.
So let me reiterate, what just happened in this chapter was not healthy for anyone involved. Though I suspect most of you will get it, I just wanna stress that given the amount of "Gohan and Videl heart symbol forever!" - after Chapter Seven and other chapters pertaining to Videl and Gohan's relationship. -.-
Also, unlike my previous sagas, with one huge battle set for important moments, the battle to come in this one it's being broken into 3-4 parts. It'll be fantastic, I promise. The final confrontation, without spoiling much, is easily the most exciting battle I have planned. I'm just terrified of screwing it up, lol
Also, just to let everyone know, if the story picks up more reviews, it'll get updated at a faster rate. I always get a lot more energy to write when I know people want to read.
Reviewers:
YoungIV: Gohan's relationship with Pan definitely has some parallel's to that of Piccolo and Gohan's in the canon. But for every similarity, there is a difference. Piccolo was hard on Gohan because he cared about him and knew he needed to toughen up. Gohan is the opposite, he does everything he can to kinda shield Pan from the trials of life in a lot of ways.
Pyromania101: Garlic is absolutely a weakling, lol. He'd be lucky to beat Captain Ginyu right now without the Makyo Star.
Perfect Carnage: Answered via PM
ShMikeX: Garlic has two of the Earth Dragon Balls right now. Also, it's not the Grand Kai. The mystery Kai will have more revealed about him as things move forward. I don't wanna spoil more then that. Also... after this Saga... you may start to see not only more of the Kai, but another character who I think is even... Cooler... lol
lmc9389: You sir, are correct. Lol
maesde: As you can see, Videl and Gohan really... yea. I don't think Gohan's going to be training Videl much more.
Kaosmoshpit: Goku and Goten have pretty significant roles to play, but Goku especially. Most people won't see it coming until it does, but I promise, Goku's got a massive role.
Brelic: Vegeta gets two really important chapters to come this Saga. One is sooner, the other is later. Will Vegeta get himself in trouble? Can't tell you. But what I can tell you is that people who are Vegeta fans are going to get a treat as the saga moves on, even if it sometimes it doesn't seem like it.
Dbzfan the first: Thanks! :D
VuvuelzaHero: Poor Vegeta. He was totally overwhelmed by grief and rage. Then Piccolo made it all better. Good job Piccolo. Also, expect big moments for Piccolo and Vegeta this saga.
RedHunter87: This Saga has the single most important moment for Gohan, in my opinion, in the entire story. I won't spoil however.
Heseltine: Videl's complicated. As for peace by the end of the story? Maybe. Videl won't find peace until she learns to accept herself for who she is, and accept what happened to her, and not just in the rape, but as a whole for her life.
MaxPain32: The trainwreck has only begun, Max. As for Garlic? Watch and learn. You'll get to see his plans unfurl in about 3-4 chapters. And it's fantastic.
Bigblukrew: Oh Vegeta hates Garlic, but I think everyone already gathered that. That has a big role in the coming chapters too.
Hamza: Not the grand kai, sorry! :(
Chemestry-Deaf: Everyone keeps making me want to spoil, but I won't do it! You hear me! Lol
Morisako83: You were right about Videl.
SuperFly: Vegeta and Gohan will eventually sort out their differences, and the hypocrisy will be addressed. Though to be fair, Vegeta is a bit of a hypocrite in the series.
Tomorrow4eva: But Sesshoumaru is hilarious! And thus its justified in my writing said story :P. Yea, I also loved writing Gohan coming to talk to Goten about Goku, and how he just really didn't want to be the one to do it. Lol
RoxaShadow: Trust me. Gohan and Videl's relationship goes completely nuts over the following chapters. Things go on a complete roller coaster. Now with things as broken as they are, really only Pan keeps them from completely self-destructing.
IHeartGohan: Pan is innocent in all this. Gohan and Videl have a lot to answer for, for what they've put that poor kid through.
Daughter of Vegeta: This one wasn't either. It was just ended on a depressing note :P