Warning: This is just for fun.
RWBY Volume 4 is the quadruped pf the RWBY series. Taking place either 6 months or 6 seconds after the last once, it follows our plucky heroines as they "graduate" from school and face a post-pandemic world. However, there are sinister forces in the shadows, waiting for the chance to obtain Absolute Based. Can our heroes stop the Mommy Salammi's Funni Party? Or would they rather deal with their parental issues. Seriously, it's a lot of parental issues.
Also, new format because I hate the other ones.
Welcome, ladies, gentlemen and neither to an Incorrect Summary of RWBY Volume 4.
Get it? Cause I said the title-
An Incorrect Summary of RWBY:
Volume 4
Written by Malnourished Child
Inspired by Max0r
Pee Pee Poo Poo Fart
Now, to understand this season, we must know the backstory. In Volume 3, the main group is all split up. Ruby takes Jaune, Ren, and Nora to the other side of the planet to pay the late Pyrrha's rent. Weiss moves up north to deal her family's HBO dynamics. Blake is on a fucking boat, and Yang suffers from depression and becoming part of the Disability Act. Confused? Good.
We start with Rubert Rose and her merry extras as they travel across the land of Genshin Impact to pay off their student loans. We first see them in a random village. They're tasked to fight a Regirock who proves to be too tough for them so they kill it. Later, we learn that Jaune is still upset that Pyrrha graduated from existence and keeps replaying her old videos over and over again. Honestly, can't fault him. I'd do the same. We also learn that Birdman Qrow is keeping an eye on them because you really can't trust college kids to get through school without some sort of drug addiction.
We move over to Whies and her situation. Basically, Weiss's family is, in no exaggeration in the world, the most fucked up emotional support system in the world. To elaborate, let's focus on one of Weiss's extended hierarchy. Whitley is what I like to call an, "sympathetic little shit". Why? Well, when your father married your mother for only money, where said mom knows the wine companies' names better than your own, when your older sister ran away to join the military, and the only butler who cares more for your second sister than you, you kinda grow up not good. Basically, he's a snobbish asshole and I hate it, but I also know where it comes from, and I feel sorry for the little guy.
However, the Schnee's are in a tough time. Usually, pandemics are great for multi-billion-dollar companies that specialize in shipping to earn ludicrous amounts in revenue. However, RWBY is a fantasy series, and so the conflict is that Papa Schnee doesn't like Big Government shutting down trade in order to "protect the general public". Okay, General Ironwood, or should I say, liberal?
Meanwhile, Blake is on a boat. Like that's it.
Blake: Boy, I sure hope my downloaded AMV's attract any unwanted attention or attack.
Suddenly, fuckin' Shrenon shows up and decides to wish the boat into un-floating. Thankful, the best character in the show, Sun Wukong Goku, arrives and slays the monster.
Blake: Sun, how-? Why are you here?
Sun: Okay, so you know how you said to not follow you no matter what in under any circumstances whatsoever? Well, I didn't hear that part so I decided to follow you anyway.
Blake: Oh my fucking god, why are all the men attracted to me are somehow denser than a flat earther?
Sun: What?
Blake: I mean, do you even know where we are going?
Sun: Nope, but I can guess it's some kind of island.
Blake: Wait, how?
Sun: Because there is one right there.
And so, Blake and Sun arrive in the ancestral home of Comic Con, where all the gamers and weebs were sentenced to after the great internet wars of '07. And, just like any convention, it's crowded, filled with people selling merch, and random cosplayers getting high in a back alley. There, Blake and Sun encounter Blake's mom, Kali, the supreme milf, and Blake's father, Ghira, the bara dad you wish you had.
Yang, now stuck at home and nothing to occupy her time, gets really depressed about losing the arm she masturbates with. Also, there's some PTSD shit or something. Anyway, Tai tries to get Yang out of her funk with a gift.
Tai: Hey Yang! Your package came in today!
Yang: Oh? What is it?
Tai: Well, it's a custom-made prosthetic with state-of-the-art tech that allows the person to control it like it was an actual arm.
Yang: Meh, whatever
Tai: It also has a vibration function.
Yang: That's marginally better.
And so, to motivate his daughter into not being depressed, Tai just fucking insults her in front of his work friends. This causes a reaction that makes Yang invest in training again through sheer spite. Remember kids, anything can be accomplished with enough personal malice!
But, every hero is as good as their villians. And there is a lot of them in this show. Old favorites such as Cinder "Thanos Snapped a Spartan than got it right back atcha" Fall, Emerald Mint Chocolate, and Cyborg Saskue Uchiha. But, they're small lemmings to the real big bad: Mommy Salami and her rag-tag group of wacky characters. Let's meet them: Arthur Watts is what happens you let a Reddit Mod mod real life in which he got kicked out of the job by auto banning anyone who like android waifus. Now, he's glorified tech support, but don't tell him that or he'll write a very passionate pinned post. Tyrian Callows is the crazy one. I wish there was more to say, but that's literally all he is. And post finally, Hazel Rainart is a big man with a big heart and a bigger need to kill Ozpin. Why? We don't know, except we do but that's for later.
Where is Ozpin? Well, he's dead except not really. Basically, Ozpin operates on Dark Souls logic, where you die and then just start a new run with a new character. Meet Oscar Pine, Ozpin's 44.7623089^10 run on Dark Souls 3. Guy needs to stop, it's worrying. Now, Oscar is controversial in that some people think he's bland and boring. I, however, disagree and anyone who says otherwise is wrong. Oscar is like garlic bread, except it's not garlic bread. It's white bread with garlic sprinkled on top of it. Almost like the real thing, but not really. Basically, Oscar's storyline is that he is imbued with Ozpin's conscious, and it wants him to travel to the same Genshin Impact as Ruby and friends are traveling to. After leaving his aunt and farm goodbye (Oh, yeah, Oscar is a compost king or something), they meet Hazel along the way. The large man graciously helps Oscar out with train money because farm people are eternally poor. I sure hope nothing changes this man's perception on this 14-year-old child.
Back with Qrow, he meets up with his sister, Raven. Now, if you paid attention like you should have, Josh, you would have realized that Raven is Yang's biological mother who used her one-time "Save child from silent midgets" card back in Volume 2. Now, she's here and she wants Qrow to know that she still hasn't gotten cigarettes from the store and is coming back. They argue if Raven living in an anarchic tribal society is based or cringe before Raven just calls Qrow a "beta cuck" and leaves. Qrow proves her wrong by sleeping with the bar maid.
Meanwhile, with Weiss, she's got a big show to preform and a ball to go to. While she would rather work on summoning her Hype-Beast Persona, Weiss still takes the time to write a song. It's basically every white girl song about hating their dad. Bad news, everyone loves it and they find it #relatable, as my forty-year-old cousin would say. Anyhow, Weiss gets into a Twitter discussion how the last season's events were totally justified. Feeling rightfully pissed off at the verified users, Weiss summons the Hype-Beast: Pumba to spook the elitist mob with Not-Quite-There-Yet-Daddy-Ironwood defending her. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop Papa Schnee doing some old-fashioned discipline on his daughter.
He…he slapped her. Get your mind out of the gutter. This is a PG summary, you fuckin' Neanderthals.
With team Pokémon RNJR, they arrive at a destroyed village with barely any survivors. The only one alive warns them of a monster, both man and horse, that came in and did a little village reduction. Ren seems to know this monster all too well. However, before we jump into that, our little group encounters a particular fellow for the first time.
Tyrian: Well, well, if it isn't Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch…
Ruby: What?
Tyrian: How rude of me to not introduce myself. My name is Tyrian Callows and I'm the crazy one.
Nora: I don't know. You don't look so bad to us.
Tyrian: Is that so? Well, l pour my milk in the bowl before the cereal.
Jaune: That's, like, your opinion, man.
Tyrian: And I let it get soggy before I eat it.
Ruby: Oh my god, he's a monster! Kill him!
Despite the park RNJR's best efforts, they can't hold a candle to Tyrian's sick breakdance moves. However, they're saved by Drunkle Qorvus.
Tyrian: Ah, the man who protects the cringe.
Qrow: Yeah, I'm, uh, too drunk to care so, uh, fight meah, bitnch.
Tyrian: But do you know what true cringe is? Leaving the bed with two people in it.
Qrow: Oh, shit. Well, kids, change of plan. Kill with extreme prejudice.
Ruby: Isn't that a bit extreme?
Qrow: Kill!
Now the battle commences and Qrow isn't fucking around, pulling every trick in the book to not pay for child support. As epic as this battle is, there's more plot, so Tyrian slashes Qrow with the big scorpion tail I forgot to mention and escapes as Qrow bleeds out.
Qrow (after tasting his blood): Yep, grape juice. *Passes out*
Meanwhile, Blake has to deal with family drama because Ghira doesn't like and Sun's only making it worse and Kali want Blake to make grandbabies and by God, if Blake isn't going to do it, she will! Waka Waka! Fortunately, the furry Jehovah's Witness arrive to break the tension. After bugging Ghira to do government stuff, they leave and it's revealed that Ghira was once the leader of the White Fang Discord Group. Also, he's now the governor through legitimate means. Don't ask me. We also learn that Discord admin, Adam, wants his kitten back and tells the door-to-door religious speak persons to send out the Ilia.
Now, I like Ilia. The show doesn't, because it makes every step to break her little lesbian heart throughout both volumes 4 and 5. I will elaborate later. Now, she spies on the Belladonna's and definitely doesn't watch Blake exclusively, not at all. Eventually, she gets discovered by Sun and everyone fights, and she leaves after being outed. Like, as the spy, not out of the closet. Blake does some domestic violence against the wife, Sun. After that, Blake and her parents talk about the difficulties of fighting for people to see you as equals without resorting to mass violence. It's nice, I guess. Anyway, Blake's story doesn't actually end here. That's saved for Volume 5 because there's more story to go, people.
Yang trains with her father on using the Augment that she never asked for. It mainly revolves Tai throwing Yang to the ground and then her Uno-reversing him. Now, you'd probably want me to talk about Yang's character development. Well, after the loss of her punchy arm, Yang went through a severe depression and came to realize the consequences of her past actions. Her blatantly criminal acts have actually scarred people and her rash actions never took in any possibility of anyone else's fates besides her own. Now, after losing what was vital to her and having a replacement given to her as a gift, not out of worth or greed but kindness, Yang's got a new perspective on life and her decisions. She's, actually trying to be a good person now.
Maybe that happened in the show. I wouldn't know. I was too busy playing LEGO's Legends of Chima: Laval's Journey for the Nintendo DS. Anyway, Yang prepares to leave after her training arc.
Tai: So, where are you off too, Yang, who the only member of my family to still be here.
Yang: Oh, nothing. I'm just going buy some milk.
Tai: You know, that's almost the same excuse your mom gave me when she left.
Yang: …
Tai: You're going find your mom and kick her ass, aren't you?
Yang: Oh, definitely.
Tai: Well, could you at least pick up Ruby after that. And also bring the milk back, would you!
So, Yang leaves and gets on a boat. Not the same boat that Blake got on, but a similar one heading to the Genshin Impact. Good, now we're done with Yang.
Back, with Weiss, she summons her first, intentional Hype Beast: The Drip Knight, wielder of the ICE CHAIN. With her new abilities, she sneaks out the mansion with her butler who I forgot to mention was the butler because there's so many goddam characters in this show, holy fuck. Weiss makes it to a Big Plane where the one true waifu is: Pilot Boi, whose life is being the fast travel. And so, Weiss gets in the Big Plane, headed towards the Genshin Impact. Honestly, it's not bad, just that the only radio station plays 24-hour country music.
Back with Ruby and the gang, they learn from a grape infested Qrow new secrets about their world. Basically, like every fantasy story, all the myths and stories are real.
Ruby: Wait, so like, magic?
Qrow: That's real.
Ren: Gods?
Qrow: Yep.
Jaune: Even Bigfoot?
Qrow: Now you're just speaking kooky talk.
Qrow tells them that they need to get to the Genshin Impact, a land of gacha lords that will trade an antidote just for a woman to say their name on stream. Unfortunately, Qrow starts buggin' out over the edibles, resorting team RNJR to carry Qrow miles to their destination.
The gang eventually get to a crossroad. One way is the normi way, while the other is the speed runner way. Ren really doesn't want to go the normal way, but none of them have the strats to even make it through the speed runner's way. Ruby, Jaune, and the still high Qrow encounter an old, destroyed town while Ren and Nora split off from the party to explore. Ren and Nora eventually find a cave with mounds of destroyed stuff. Junk that Ren and Nora know too well.
Nora: Ren, if you going to have a flashback episode, you're going to have to let me slap you to stop it.
Ren: Don't worry, Nora. I don't need a flashback to know who did this.
As the two make it back to town, everyone discovers that this town was destroyed similar to the last one they went into.
A deep roar echoes through the ruins. The sound of hooves stamps the ground with clarity. The greatest battle has begun.
Our protagonists fight Lil Nas X and his horse as they prepare to take our plucky team to the Old Town Road. Hard. The pure power of his trap and country mix proves too much for the heroes. And yet, one man stands defiant.
Ren, who remembers years ago, that the famed Lil Nas X strowed into his village one day, looking for anyone to buy his blood-infused shoes. His drip was too powerful and destroyed everyone and everything, except a young Ren and Nora, who survived by disabling their social media.
As all hope seems lost, Ren gets the spotlight and the power to defeat Lil Nas X and his horse and end their terror.
Ren: Finally, Lil Nas X's soul is free to ascend to heaven.
Jaune: Actually, I think it just jumped down to hell.
Nora: Based.
Ruby: Uh, guys, dying bird uncle here.
Fortunately, the noise complaint was loud enough to alert the police and send in a rescue team to free our heroes from the aftermath. Ren and Nora grow closer, Ruby stays by her uncle's side, and Jaune, I don't know, cries in the corner or something. Finally, our heroes arrive in the Genshin Impact. We end with Ruby making a letter for back home. It says that the friends may leave you, but the underlining trauma will be there forever.
In the epilogue, we see Qrow drinking his Gamer Supps when a mysterious young fellow comes in.
Qrow: Aren't ya too young to be drinking? What are ya, 12?
Oscar: 14, sir. And well, I need to say, that-
Qrow: Come on, kid, speak up. I can't hear without my drink.
Oscar (Whispers to self): Why do you-? Ugh, fine. (A little louder now) I have one question for you, Mr. Branwen. He wants to know if anyone found out about the secret vault where all the "ship money" is at?
Qrow: Well, I'll be goddamned.
Oscar: He also wants his "big stick" back.
Qrow tosses the cane to Oscar.
Qrow: Anything else he wants to say?
Oscar: He says, and I quote, (Oh god, I can't believe you're making me do this), "Wubalubadubdub."
End
RWBY Volume 4 may not be the best season. It may not even be a good season. But it does something unique with it's divided main cast. The animation got better and the world gets somewhat more defined. Not every change was good, but that's okay. Because I'm not giving RoosterTeeth money to see this show. So, in truth, I give this volume a 16-second Tik-Tok out of 1-hour-loop of Fart with Reverb. Remember to post something funny in the comments. Please, I need validation.
Also, don't expect anything soon in like, a long while. Volume 5 is very long and I've got more fun stuff to do in the meantime. Buh-bye!