Warning: this story will contain scenes for stories
RWBY Vol. 5 is not what we will be summarizing today. Because that's going to take a while and I have very important things to do. So, while that chonker of a recap will be eventually written, let's take a look at the three shorts made and realized before the premier. Yes, it's okay. I almost forgot about them too. Now sit back, crack a lack, and uh…shit I forgot what I was going to say. Make a note to add in a punchline or something
The first short is Weiss up in her snow garden killed wild animals for sport. I'm sorry, I mean "training". No offense for the oppressed one percent. After fighting off the endangered species of spike wolves, we find out that this is just Weiss trying to summon Willem Dafoe, Lord of Drip. After getting some friendly sibling abuse from her sister, Weiss still doesn't make the summon because this is a flashback and things aren't supposed to happen yet. We cut to the present Weiss as she's sitting first class cargo bay listening to, I don't know, 100 Gecs or something as the short ends.
The second short stars Blake as she searches the state of furry Hawaii to find an informant for Ilia. Oh, did I mention her last time? Oh, god, the dementia is already setting in. The main point of this is to get more backstory. Blake and Ilia sit and chat about her backstory.
Ilia: So basically, my parents died in a cave in, and all the kids were making fun of them. So I broke one guy's jaw and they expelled me.
Blake: Holy shit, that's awful.
Ilia: Yeah, gave me a pretty good reason to fight for my rights. Hopefully you won't leave and betray everyone you know and love.
Blake: Okay, that's highly specific. Anyway, you think we should try and get laid?
Ilia: I'll help if you help me~
Present
Blake: After that, I left. I felt really awkward.
Sun: I think that Ilia girl was into-
Blake: Shut up, Sun! Plot!
They chase the informant and it's very fast. In the end, Blake catches up to them but not before Ilia frees her employee first.
Ilia: Hey, Blake. If you ever want a good time, call me.
Ilia leaves.
Sun: Yeah, she sounded pretty into you.
Blake: That's ridiculous. People who look like her aren't gay.
Sun: Okay, that was homophobic.
Blake: Oh, so are you saying Faunus can't be homophobic? That's pretty racist, Sun.
Sun: Why do I even put up with this? Oh, right, the illusion of pussy.
The final short focuses on Yang, and I actually got some jokes planned out for this. So, it starts with Ruby and Yang in the forest as Yang inflicts some friendly child abuse on Ruby.
Yang: Come on, Ruby. It's not as fun when they don't fight back.
Ruby: Please, Yang, I have several fractured bones and probably, like, fifteen concussions.
Their "training" is cut short by a bear. Now, you think Yang would do one of several things: 1) Intimidate the bear, B) Call the police, or – She's just fighting a bear now, okay.
After several minutes of bear Fight Club, Yang kills it with no remorse.
Ruby: Oh my God, you killed an endangered species of bear!
Yang: Pretty sure it was common. Now, don't tell anyone about this or I'll add fifteenth concussion.
It's revealed to be a flashback as the now Punished Yang rides a motorcycle in the woods.
Yang: Wow, I was an asshole.
Oh, ending notes. Nothing major. The Volume 5 chapter is going to be pretty long and will take a while due to school and other projects. In the meantime, hope you guys will like this droplet of content and check out my other stuff.
That's all I've got for now. See ya next time.