Chapter Eight: Promises

There was quiet for a moment, and then Edmund's voice rose in disbelief. "WHAT?"

"I am going to go to the Garden and bring back an apple," I replied, resolving myself to the quest at that moment.

Edmund sat with his mouth hanging open in astonishment. Susan and Lucy wore identical expressions. Indeed, everyone in the room except Aslan seemed amazed by this announcement.

"Surely not alone, Aslan," croaked Sallowpad.

Oreius' surprise turned instantly to alarm. "You can't go alone, King Peter!"

"He will not," the Lion answered calmly before I could speak or Oreius could get louder. "He shall have a companion of his choosing."

"Just one?" gasped Susan.

"Two have a much better chance of success than a troop," said Aslan, casting Oreius a knowing look. I could tell the general was disappointed. He would have liked nothing better than to dispatch half the army to accompany me.

"Who?" asked Lucy, nervous.

"That will be for Peter to decide, dearest."

"Aslan, we know nothing of the Western Wilds," Sir Giles pointed out, and he of all people would know.

I remembered the description of long, dangerous, and hard. Giles had a good point. I looked to Aslan for reassurance and he fixed me with a steady gaze.

"You must follow the Great River to its source deep in the mountains in the west," said he. "Stay by the river. There will always be a path. Beyond the Western March there are no Talking Animals, but there are Magical Creatures of many types not found in Narnia. You must be cautious at every turn."

His dark eyes still wide with shock and apprehension, Edmund shook his head. "You can't. Peter, you can't."

I turned to him. "And you can't go on like this. None of us can. It's the only way."

"Take Oreius, then!"

"I won't leave our army without its general."

"I - "

He broke off, breathing heavily, a look of fear and pain in his eyes. He tried to speak, stopped, and shaking his head, he bolted out of the room.

"Ed!"

I cast them all an apologetic look. Aslan nodded and inclined his head towards the door, telling me to go after my brother. Darting into the hall, I followed it to the end. I found him easily enough sitting on the railing of a small balcony overlooking the south lawn, his feet dangling over the edge and a drop of about sixty or eighty feet before him. While it turned out that the only one among us that had any apprehension of heights was Susan, when we sat on any high railing the poor Fauns working in the palace tended to panic and so we avoided getting them worked up over (to us) nothing. Today, however, Edmund would have none of it, I knew, because everything about his stance spoke of dejection.

"Ed?"

Like the balcony above, this small area exploded with flowers and vines. He sat next to a planter shaped like a seashell overflowing with sweet herbs and heather and he idly plucked at the fading morning glories all twisted through the railing. I cautiously stepped over, then sat beside him, swinging my legs over the railing and settling in close beside him. He didn't look at me, just gazed out at the low, rolling hills illuminated by the mid-morning sun.

"Is Aslan mad I left?"

"Not at all."

He nodded, then sighed. "I'm a little overwhelmed. Sorry."

That was an understatement. "I know, but don't be. It was an abrupt decision. I should have told you and the girls alone, but it would have come out regardless."

"No. I overreacted. I'm being selfish, Peter. I don't want you to go."

"If it will save you and end this curse, I want to do it."

He whipped bits of morning glory off the balcony. "It's not fair," he gulped. "It's not fair."

"No," I agreed, "it's not. But what Jadis did to you isn't fair either."

He snorted. "I deserved what she did to me. I lied to you about going to Narnia. I was mean to Lucy. I hated you."

"You were angry and frightened." I shook my head. "Nobody deserves what you endured. I wish you could see that and forgive yourself. I never stopped loving you. I didn't always like you, but I've always loved you." I sighed, wishing I could better express what I was feeling. "I think I've had it easier than you have. Growing up, I mean."

"It's not your fault people compare us all the time."

"Nor yours."

He sniffed. We sat in silence for a few moments.

"I think I've got the easier role this time," I finally said, resting my elbows on my legs and holding my chin in my hands.

He leaned against the planter. "What do you mean?"

"I'd rather be doing, not waiting."

"It's going to be dangerous, isn't it?"

"Probably. We don't know much about the Western Wild."

"It's to the west and it's wild," he muttered, neatly summing up the whole of our knowledge on the subject. "I've put you in danger again."

"No, Ed, Jadis is putting me in danger."

"She's in me! Right here!" He put his hand over the healed wound. "She's part of me!"

I took his hand in both of mine. "And I choose to do this so that we can destroy her once and for all. She may be part of you now, but she won't be forever. I won't let her. I need you with me on this, Ed. I need to know you won't give up while I'm gone. Promise me you won't lose faith in me."

"What?" he exclaimed as if I'd just cursed at him in foul language, offended at the suggestion. His belief in my ability to be a good king was absolute and he'd told me this countless times in countless ways. With one word he had just reconfirmed that faith.

I gripped his hand tighter. "I need you to promise me you'll carry on. Don't stop living just because you've been cursed by a dead witch," I quoted, producing a wry smirk from him. "Promise that no matter how long it takes me to get there and back again you'll be here waiting for me. You mustn't despair. Aslan told me that if I ever despair to think of him and remember he loves me. Promise you'll do the same. You'll have Aslan with you, and the girls. Let them help. You're not alone anymore."

He looked at me. I could tell he was thinking hard upon what I had just said. The gleam in his eyes was pure Edmund Randall Pevensie as he replied, "I promise I'll wait for you to get back. And if I despair, I'll think of you and remember you love me."

That wasn't quite what I'd had in mind, but it would suffice. I pressed for more. "And Edmund?"

He looked at me expectantly. I still hadn't released his hand.

"When this is over and I'm safely home and you're free of Jadis, promise me you'll forgive yourself. If you insist on believing you deserve to be punished let this time be it and then let it be done. Please."

I think the fact that I was begging had greater impact than the actual words I said, but he listened and after a few moments his hand tightened around mine and he nodded. When he spoke, it was as one king to another.

"I promise I'll try my very best."

"Thank you," I breathed, relieved.

"Peter?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you know who you're going to take with you?"

"Not really. I haven't given it much thought yet." I gave him a keen look. "Who do you suggest?"

"Phillip," he replied. "He's strong and steady and very wise."

I considered. I had debated asking Flisk, the Unicorn I rode in battle, but Phillip made much more sense in many ways. "Will you come with me to ask him?"

"Of course. Let's get back to Aslan first, though. He's probably sitting on Oreius to keep him from searching the whole Cair for us."