Chapter Thirty-Two: Nobody's Reflection

I should have known better. After being so alert and vigilant for so long, minding my manners and what I had learned and the advice I had been given, in the end my own anger landed me in trouble.

I trailed a few steps behind the Brownie, still burning mad at the little creature. That he had called me names and mocked me; that he had rifled my person and stolen the apple did not bother me so much as the sneering and malicious pleasure he gleaned when he threatened to eat the apple. I had no doubt that he would have done so just to torment me and deny me something that I wanted. I had done nothing to this creature to deserve such treatment. He was simply a bully, like the boys at Edmund's old school had been, and now that I had bested him at his own game he had reverted to a sniveling coward.

Even that didn't bother me so much as the selfishness that could have - and almost did- cost me this quest and my brother's life. Perhaps it was just the Brownie's nature to be so obnoxious, but even if he hadn't known what he was doing I wasn't about to forgive him for threatening Edmund. Not after the dream I'd had this morning. I was tired, hungry, and I wanted to get home. I was sick of being cold and worried and aching in every joint and the Brownie was a victim of his own poor timing because my temper had boiled over and he was in its wake. I rarely got so angry and I never stayed that way for long, but having him in front of me all day just fanned the fire. Oreius would have frowned, telling me to forget this anger and concentrate on the task at hand. Unfortunately the good general was hundreds of miles away looking after my brother. Still, I should have known better, and even as I seethed some of that anger was directed internally for not just letting go.

This I will say, the Brownie did lead me quickly down river. The desire to be rid of each other was mutual. His presence seemed to keep the other denizens of the valley at bay - perhaps they took turns accosting travelers. No fairies, no off-color animals, no dancing maidens in disguise, there weren't even any calls or music from the woods that I heard, but all my attention was on my unwilling guide and odds are I simply missed the sounds.

Something was bothering me though, and when I ordered the Brownie to stop for a few minutes' rest I demanded, "How did you know this knife is Blue steel?"

"They told me so," whispered he. "And I felt it burn."

"Who told you?"

He stared at me with those beady eyes, calculating. I glared right back with far more spectacular results.

"Answer me."

"Unseelie," he said so softly I could barely hear him. "Unseelie want the kingly steel so the Lord will rule."

I frowned, trying to piece this information together with what little I had already seen in this unnatural place. Clearly I had landed in the midst of some local conflict. Wonderful. "Why do they want the steel?"

"Power over the Host of the Earth."

Whatever that was, thought I. I remembered the Hag burning her foot on the circle I had dug last night and I wondered what would have become of the blue fox if I hadn't used Rhindon but the knife on it. Beyond being a gift from Father Christmas, I had no idea of Rhindon's origins. It was a gorgeously made sword and the best in the land, but something told me the metal from the Blue River Dwarfs was even better. Perhaps the love and effort Edmund had put into it made a difference.

"Get up," I ordered, stepping back. "Keep moving."

So it seemed I wasn't here by accident after all. I was inclined to think the meeting with the fairies had been chance, but the fox and the Hags...they had known where to find me. And the Brownie...

"Faster," I ordered, giving him a nudge to pick up the pace. He glanced back at me, caught the glare in my eyes, and obeyed.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

We actually made good progress, if it can be called that when you don't know where you're going or how far it is to your destination. The Brownie knew routes I would not have been able to find and the path was easier than climbing over endless steep rocks. The fog persisted and seemed to grow thicker as the day wore on.

"How much farther to the end of the valley?" I asked. I was so hungry I had actually tried a bit of lichen. Oreius and I were going to have a discussion of what constituted edible when I got back to Narnia because it was the worst-tasting stuff I have ever encountered in my life.

"Not so very far, Nobody," grumbled the Brownie. "Half to noon tomorrow."

I wasn't very keen on spending another night in this accursed place and even less keen about the company I was compelled to keep. How could I restrain him? Should I simply release him and press on alone, or see about trapping him in another circle with me tonight? That solution appealed not at all, though I now carried the satchel with the apple under my tunic.

"Keep going."

He snorted. I should have listened to him instead of clinging to my anger. I should have paid more attention. I might have seen it coming, then, and done something instead of blundering headlong into the middle of a private war.

Might have, but somehow, I doubt it.

Dusk was approaching. I made it a point to get a drink before looking for a spot to spend the night. The terrain was rocky, though the trees thinned a bit, enough that there were a few clearings here and there. I was still debating as to what to do with the Brownie - keeping him with me seemed the only solution, unsavory as it sounded - when he suddenly turned to me with the oddest look upon his face. A nasty, mocking gleam filled his eyes as he looked at me, then across the river.

I followed his gaze.

And found I was looking at myself.

I blinked in surprise. It was like looking in a mirror. My boots, my clothes, my hair, my face - looking back at me across the Great River. My first thought was that if that was me I looked awful. My second thought was that whomever or whatever it was, it was evil.

The Brownie cackled in delight, taking advantage of my shock to run away into the brush. My double began to walk towards me, leaping from rock to rock with impossible strength. I scrambled back towards the nearest clearing on the edge of the woods. I could hear things amongst the trees, roused by the dying day. There was no time to dig. I snatched the knife from my belt and started to scratch a wide circle in the middle of the clearing. I glanced at the river. The copy of me climbed onto this bank, striding towards me. I moved faster, panting, just scraping the surface of the ground with the blade. I kicked fallen branches out of the way, my back to my unwelcome twin for a few moments. I could hear him in the undergrowth, hear indistinct voices as I rushed. I missed a few inches and I hastened to retrace the missed spot. He was moving around the ring towards me, almost upon me, and with a last desperate lunge I completed the circle and stood back, fighting to get my breath under control.

The copy of me stood not three feet away. I stared at the thin face and wild hair, filthy clothes and worn boots. Could this be me? This starved-looking, pale little creature that didn't blink? No. No matter how closely it might resemble me, I could never have such cold, vicious eyes, and while I radiated fatigue, this copy was naught but wickedness. I looked upon this ... this thing and it frightened me more than anything I had encountered since leaving Narnia.

...you are far greater than your fears...

Aslan. The very thought of the Lion was reassuring to me and I prayed he was right, because the echo of his voice in my mind kept me from panicking. I thought of his smile, his kiss, and I closed my left hand over the Lion's head on Rhindon's pommel. Filthy and ragged though I may be, I was still a king. Reassured by the memory of Aslan's words, I stood up straighter and faced my doppelganger squarely.

"You are a stranger in this vale," said my own voice. The accent was far off, which actually came as a relief. "What is your name?"

"Ask the Brownie," I snapped. He had lead me here and I had foolishly followed, right into the clutches of this creature, whatever it was. My ire shifted from the deceitful little sprite to myself.

A faint smile. It was eerie to see my expressions on another face. "He said you were Nobody."

"And Nobody I'll remain. Who are you?"

"Nobody's reflection. You wish to leave this place."

"I intend to."

"Give me the kingly steel you bear and your life and freedom is guaranteed."

I sheathed the knife. "My life is already my own, and you aren't holding me, I'm holding you back." I wondered if I looked that formidable when I was angry, for the imitation cast me a vicious glare. I threw back my cape. "And what kingly steel are you talking about? I bear the sword of a king and a knife forged by a king. They're both noble weapons."

"But only one is pure," he replied, staring at Edmund's gift t me, "and so far more deadly to our enemies."

I motioned towards the ring I had cut into the earth. "And to you as well."

"Be warned. The Seelie king gives nothing away, not even his words."

He meant the fairy king, I was sure. "I earned his words and his warning with services rendered. All you've done is try to trick and deceive and steal from me. Who brought me into this valley? Who sent animals and Hags and that Brownie to try to get me into the woods? I take it you did that, or someone you're in league with. That was poorly done."

His sarcastic sneer told me I was right. "You have been a challenge, I grant you," said my reflection. He slowly circled round me. I resisted the temptation to turn and watch him as he moved. "But what loyalty do you owe the Host of the Earth?"

"The Seelie King?" I asked, and he nodded. "I owe him more loyalty than I owe you. He rendered me fair service and took nothing I didn't offer first."

"Our peoples are ar war. With the death of their queen I am on the verge of triumph. Your presence in this valley has tipped the scales in my favor."

"Provided you have the Blue steel," I corrected. "Why do you look like me?"

"Perhaps you look like me."

"If so, you need a barber."

He chuckled. So strange to hear my own laugh this way! He came back into my line of view, his tone condescending. "I took this form because it was something you could understand. What I am beyond this guise is not comprehensible to your kind."

How very white of him. I knew he wouldn't so inconvenience himself unless there was no other way to get what he wanted.

The forest behind him was stirring with life, distorted and strange beings. Some flew and others walked or crawled. I saw beautiful women with goat's feet, winged frogs and scaly birds, things like animated trees and ghostly, glowing forms that flitted just on the edge of my vision. I saw the little blue foxes and Dwarf-like things and hideous, oversized insects that moved like Men. Most of the things were fairly Human in appearance, but there was a foulness about them, something stretched and tainted and unnatural that made them difficult to look upon without disgust. I was used to oddness at every turn in Narnia, but none of these creatures had the inherent goodness of the inhabitants of my kingdom. Even the caustic Black Dwarfs were more good than not. This, the Unseelie Court, was frightening and unclean as they swarmed behind the leader that had stolen my form.

And it appeared I was their guest.