Popeland: I'm back, again...... This time my modem was hit by lighting and blew up!
Finally a valid excuse for my absence!
But anyway since the Willendorf Wide Chatroom has been deleted due to it being against FF.nets rules I've started this. (Can't actually say I've ever read FF.nets rules.... Anyone know where I can find them?)
Of course FF.net didn't feel it necessary to inform me that the fic had been deleted so by the time I'd realised I'd written the next chapter.... Curses
Anyway, this fic will be bigger, better and with 10% more Marcus!
ROCK!!!
Disclaimer: I do not own LoK or Yu-Gi-Oh. In fact I only own this fic... which is a disappointing substitute for LoK. Maybe I can get C.D to trade with me! Haha!
But until that time, I don't own LoK or anything else that appears in this fic
Voice Over: Yes! It's
NOSGOTHIC GRUDGE MATCH!!
With your host, Marcus!
(Marcus walks on stage waving to the crowd)
Marcus: Yes hello people! And welcome to the first ever showing of Nosgothic Grudge Match! A show were we have arch enemies settle their differences using the medium of randomly chosen challenges!
And do you know why I'm hosting this fine show!? Because apparently I'm not important enough to have my own grudge match! I could have fought Kain! I would have kicked his ass royally!.... twice!.... With my eyes closed!
Umah: Er.... Marcus?
Marcus: Oh yes, that's my Co-Presenter
Umah: Hello everyone!
(Umah waves happily to the audience)
Marcus: She was hired as eye candy, personally I don't know why. I think I could satisfy all the eye candy needs of the viewing public
Umah: Okay you should really stop waxing your head, it's soaking into your brain and giving you hallucinations....
Marcus: Yeah, as if you don't want some of this!
(Marcus smiles into the camera and his head sparkles)
Umah: Yeah....... Okay, moving onto our show
Marcus: and by our show she means my show!
Umah: Marcus, shut up
Marcus: Make me, wench!!
(Umah snarls and punches Marcus in the face)
Marcus: *clutching his nose* Arghh! My beautiful face!
Umah: *sarcastically* Yeah sure, your beautiful and Faustus has decent character development!
Faustus: *from the audience* Low blow!
Umah: Anyway, on tonight's show we have one of the most anticipated events of all time!
Marcus: *still clutching his nose* Yeah! You putting on some respectable clothes!
Umah: ...... you don't know when to stop do you?
Marcus: And you don't know how to shop! I mean did you find those clothes in a dumpster or something?! If you can even call them clothes!
(Umah kicks Marcus between the legs)
Marcus: ARGHHHH!!!
(collapses to the ground twitching)
Marcus: I...... regret...... nothing!
Umah: As I was saying tonight match is one of the most anticipated events of all time! Kain Vs Mortainius!......er..... again! Now we go live to Anarcrothe who is interviewing one of the contestants right now
(scene shifts to a dressing room we see Kain standing beside a locker)
Kain: Anarcrothe... you can come out of that locker you know
Anarcrothe: Hahah! Fat chance! If I go out there I might "accidentally" get eviscerated or ripped apart! I'm not falling for your tricks!
Kain: Suit yourself....
Anarcrothe: So Kain, how do you feel about facing Mortainius in this match?
Kain: Well me and Mortainius have a long period of conflict and today I hope to finally end it
Anarcrothe: You haven't really had a long period of conflict though have you?
Kain: What?
Anarcrothe: Well think about it. He had you killed, then you killed him. He's was only your enemy for about a week really
Kain: Well.... I suppose you could say that. But really I....
Anarcrothe: oh shut it! You were wrong! Cause you're an idiot! Give it up!!
Kain:*stunned* What!?!
Anarcrothe: You heard me Kermit!
Kain: *enraged* I'll kill you!!!
Anarcrothe: I'd like to see you try!!
(Kain rips off the locker door)
Kain: Not so smart now!!.........eh?
(Kains looks into the locker to see it's completely empty except for a small speaker in the corner)
Anarcrothe's voice: Nice try! As if I'd ever hide in a place without at least ten steel doors! You simpleton!! Ahahahahaahh!!
Kain: rargh!!! I can't let anyone see this!!
(Kain destroies the television camera and Umah looks away from the screen smiling nervously)
Umah: ermm .... Well that was our reporter Anarcrothe there...well.. not really there but.. well you get the idea. Anyway lets go over to Dumah to see how Mortainius and Kain will meet
(Camera switches to a picture of the vampire Dumah standing beside a giant wheel)
Dumah: I this segment of the show we decide how Kain and Mortainius will battle! It could be anything from battle to the death or Ping-Pong! It's totally rando.....Hey I see you!!
(A tentacle which had being trying to grab the wheel froze)
Elder God: the wheel shall be mine!!
(Dumah runs off stage and returns with a brush and proceeds to beat the tentacle)
Dumah: Shoo! Go away!
Elder God: No! You are nothing! Arghh! Stop that!!
(the tentacle plunges into the ground and disappears)
Dumah:...... as I was saying this is completely random. So anything could happen. Let's go!
(Dumah spins the wheel)
Dumah: ohhhhh....... It's going!...... going!...... there!
(the wheel stops on "Yu-Gi-Oh Card Duel")
Dumah: Well that's that then! Kain and Mortainius shall battle in a Yu-Gi-Oh Card battle! Back to you Umah
(Screen shifts back to Umah)
Umah: Wow! This should be quiet the battle!
Marcus: *still on the ground twitching* Not as hard..... a battle as a salesman.... would have....trying to sell you......a jumper!
(Umah kicks Marcus in the stomach)
Marcus: ow.......
Umah: Lets go live to the battle!
(We see two large platforms. Kain stands on one and Mortainius stands on the one opposite)
Kain: Your no match for me, Morty boy!
Mortainius: Enough chat! Lets ends this!
Both: It's time to d..d...d...Duel!!!
Kain: I'll start by summoning Dumahaim vampire to the field! And I'll lay one card face down!
Mortainius: Ha! Pitiful move! I summon Vampire hunter! And by using my flame-thrower upgrade card I give him a 200 point bonus! More than enough to eliminate your Dumahaim! Go Vampire hunter! Attack!
(Vampire hunter destroys the Dumahaim and Kain loses 300 life points leaving him at 3700)
Kain: You fool! That attack activated my trap card! Implode! This takes 700 off your life points and destroys your vampire hunter!
(Vampire hunter implodes and Mortainius is reduced to 3300)
Mortainius: No!!
Kain: that's not all! I use my ring of Blood and crushed teeth to summon Vorador directly to the field! Now attack Vorador!
(Vorador attacks reducing Mortainius to 1700 life points)
Mortainius: you won't defeat me! I summon Malek the righteous paladin to the field in defense mode! And I'll put one card face down and end my turn!
Kain: your paladin is no match for Vorador! Vorador wipe out Malek!
(Vorador attacks Malek)
Mortainius: Not so fast! I activate my "Genocidal mob inspired by Moebius" trap card! Your vampire is gone!
Kain: No!
(Vorador has his head cut off)
Mortainius: now Malek attack him directly!
(Malek knocks Kain down to 1900)
Kain: damn.... But it does not matter! I'll lay two cards face down on the field and I'll summon The Wraith Raziel to the field and I'll activate the magic card "Righteous indignation"! this raise Raziel's attack points by 500! Now Raziel destroy his paladin!
(Raziel destroys Malek and reduces Mortainius to 600 life points)
Mortainius: Oh no!
Kain: that's not all! As Raziel is a soul devouring monster Malek health goes directly into my Life points
(Kain Life points increase to 2700)
Mortainius: *to himself* no.. I can't lose this! I have to do it! HASH AK GIK!!!
( music begins to play and an intense light surrounds Mortainius. When it leaves Mortainius is replaced by a huge black demon. Strangely enough no one seems to notice)
Hash ak Gik: I'll place one card face down also and I'll summon blood Reaver! Blood Reaver! Destroy Raziel
(Blood Reaver attempts to impale Raziel but fails and the Reaver shatters)
Hash ak Gik: What!? it can't be!
Kain: oh but it can! For my face down card was... Temporal paradox!
Hash ak Gik: No!
Kain: And now your defenseless less! Raziel Finish him off!
Hash ak Gik: Fool! I activate the informative mural magic card! This turns Raziel against you and he becomes my creature! Raziel attack Kains lifepoints directly!
Kain: Bad move! My "Scion of balance" magic card is activated! You can't hurt me!
(Raziel is deflected)
Kain: My turn! I sacrifice 1000 of my life points to summon .... The Elder God!! Elder God! Trap Raziel!
(The Elder god traps Raziel in his tentacles)
Kain: Raziel is immobilized! Your going down!
Hash ak Gik: Wrong answer! I use time streaming magic card to retrieve my Blood Reaver card!
Kain: Pah! What little it will help you!
Hash ak Gik: Blood Reaver attack Raziel!
Kain: What!?
(the Blood Reaver implaes Raziel)
Kain: You idiot! You just destroied your own card!
Hash ak Gik: No, I haven't! Raziel has been absorbed by the Reaver and now I have....the mighty Soul Reaver!!
Kain: Oh no!
Hash ak Gik: oh yes! Soul Reaver! Destroy his Elder God!
Kain: NOOOOOOO!!!!!
(The Elder God is destroyed and Kain is reduced to 0 lifepoints)
Hash ak Gik: you lose Kain!
Kain: it's not possible!
Hash ak Gik: I rock!!!
(Back at studio Umah turns away from the huge screen she was watching the battle on)
Umah: My god! What a unexpected outcome! A shocking defeat for Kain!
Kain: *on the screen* Well maybe I'd have one if someone hadn't stolen my nexus stone card!
Umah: er..... I have no idea what your talking about
(Umah waves her hand at someone offstage and the transmission from the battle field is cut off)
Umah: oh no! must be technical difficulties! But please, join us again next week!
Thanks for watching Nosgothic grudge match! With me Umah!
Marcus: *still on the ground* yeah but of course..... Umah stands......for.. Underdressed ..... Multifunctional.... Amourous... ..Hook-Erk!!!
(Umah lifts Marcus up off the ground by the throat)
Umah: Will you ever learn?
Marcus: never!!
(Screen fades to black and the credits roll to the sounds of screaming and a few minutes later an ambulance siren)
Popeland: Ohhhh..... that's going to hurt in the morning
Any suggestions for Grudge matches will be gratefully excepted. I have 2 others planned out but then... well I'm all out.... Unless I give it further thought
Which knowing me, I probably won't
Damn lazy me.....
Anyway, Reviewers get.......er..... am....
(looks around for something to give reviewers)
Ah! An exact replica of the Sweeping brush Dumah used to chase off the elder god!
Now you can sweep safe in the knowledge you are denying the wheel of fate!....er..... yeah!
Please Review!
Finally a valid excuse for my absence!
But anyway since the Willendorf Wide Chatroom has been deleted due to it being against FF.nets rules I've started this. (Can't actually say I've ever read FF.nets rules.... Anyone know where I can find them?)
Of course FF.net didn't feel it necessary to inform me that the fic had been deleted so by the time I'd realised I'd written the next chapter.... Curses
Anyway, this fic will be bigger, better and with 10% more Marcus!
ROCK!!!
Disclaimer: I do not own LoK or Yu-Gi-Oh. In fact I only own this fic... which is a disappointing substitute for LoK. Maybe I can get C.D to trade with me! Haha!
But until that time, I don't own LoK or anything else that appears in this fic
Voice Over: Yes! It's
NOSGOTHIC GRUDGE MATCH!!
With your host, Marcus!
(Marcus walks on stage waving to the crowd)
Marcus: Yes hello people! And welcome to the first ever showing of Nosgothic Grudge Match! A show were we have arch enemies settle their differences using the medium of randomly chosen challenges!
And do you know why I'm hosting this fine show!? Because apparently I'm not important enough to have my own grudge match! I could have fought Kain! I would have kicked his ass royally!.... twice!.... With my eyes closed!
Umah: Er.... Marcus?
Marcus: Oh yes, that's my Co-Presenter
Umah: Hello everyone!
(Umah waves happily to the audience)
Marcus: She was hired as eye candy, personally I don't know why. I think I could satisfy all the eye candy needs of the viewing public
Umah: Okay you should really stop waxing your head, it's soaking into your brain and giving you hallucinations....
Marcus: Yeah, as if you don't want some of this!
(Marcus smiles into the camera and his head sparkles)
Umah: Yeah....... Okay, moving onto our show
Marcus: and by our show she means my show!
Umah: Marcus, shut up
Marcus: Make me, wench!!
(Umah snarls and punches Marcus in the face)
Marcus: *clutching his nose* Arghh! My beautiful face!
Umah: *sarcastically* Yeah sure, your beautiful and Faustus has decent character development!
Faustus: *from the audience* Low blow!
Umah: Anyway, on tonight's show we have one of the most anticipated events of all time!
Marcus: *still clutching his nose* Yeah! You putting on some respectable clothes!
Umah: ...... you don't know when to stop do you?
Marcus: And you don't know how to shop! I mean did you find those clothes in a dumpster or something?! If you can even call them clothes!
(Umah kicks Marcus between the legs)
Marcus: ARGHHHH!!!
(collapses to the ground twitching)
Marcus: I...... regret...... nothing!
Umah: As I was saying tonight match is one of the most anticipated events of all time! Kain Vs Mortainius!......er..... again! Now we go live to Anarcrothe who is interviewing one of the contestants right now
(scene shifts to a dressing room we see Kain standing beside a locker)
Kain: Anarcrothe... you can come out of that locker you know
Anarcrothe: Hahah! Fat chance! If I go out there I might "accidentally" get eviscerated or ripped apart! I'm not falling for your tricks!
Kain: Suit yourself....
Anarcrothe: So Kain, how do you feel about facing Mortainius in this match?
Kain: Well me and Mortainius have a long period of conflict and today I hope to finally end it
Anarcrothe: You haven't really had a long period of conflict though have you?
Kain: What?
Anarcrothe: Well think about it. He had you killed, then you killed him. He's was only your enemy for about a week really
Kain: Well.... I suppose you could say that. But really I....
Anarcrothe: oh shut it! You were wrong! Cause you're an idiot! Give it up!!
Kain:*stunned* What!?!
Anarcrothe: You heard me Kermit!
Kain: *enraged* I'll kill you!!!
Anarcrothe: I'd like to see you try!!
(Kain rips off the locker door)
Kain: Not so smart now!!.........eh?
(Kains looks into the locker to see it's completely empty except for a small speaker in the corner)
Anarcrothe's voice: Nice try! As if I'd ever hide in a place without at least ten steel doors! You simpleton!! Ahahahahaahh!!
Kain: rargh!!! I can't let anyone see this!!
(Kain destroies the television camera and Umah looks away from the screen smiling nervously)
Umah: ermm .... Well that was our reporter Anarcrothe there...well.. not really there but.. well you get the idea. Anyway lets go over to Dumah to see how Mortainius and Kain will meet
(Camera switches to a picture of the vampire Dumah standing beside a giant wheel)
Dumah: I this segment of the show we decide how Kain and Mortainius will battle! It could be anything from battle to the death or Ping-Pong! It's totally rando.....Hey I see you!!
(A tentacle which had being trying to grab the wheel froze)
Elder God: the wheel shall be mine!!
(Dumah runs off stage and returns with a brush and proceeds to beat the tentacle)
Dumah: Shoo! Go away!
Elder God: No! You are nothing! Arghh! Stop that!!
(the tentacle plunges into the ground and disappears)
Dumah:...... as I was saying this is completely random. So anything could happen. Let's go!
(Dumah spins the wheel)
Dumah: ohhhhh....... It's going!...... going!...... there!
(the wheel stops on "Yu-Gi-Oh Card Duel")
Dumah: Well that's that then! Kain and Mortainius shall battle in a Yu-Gi-Oh Card battle! Back to you Umah
(Screen shifts back to Umah)
Umah: Wow! This should be quiet the battle!
Marcus: *still on the ground twitching* Not as hard..... a battle as a salesman.... would have....trying to sell you......a jumper!
(Umah kicks Marcus in the stomach)
Marcus: ow.......
Umah: Lets go live to the battle!
(We see two large platforms. Kain stands on one and Mortainius stands on the one opposite)
Kain: Your no match for me, Morty boy!
Mortainius: Enough chat! Lets ends this!
Both: It's time to d..d...d...Duel!!!
Kain: I'll start by summoning Dumahaim vampire to the field! And I'll lay one card face down!
Mortainius: Ha! Pitiful move! I summon Vampire hunter! And by using my flame-thrower upgrade card I give him a 200 point bonus! More than enough to eliminate your Dumahaim! Go Vampire hunter! Attack!
(Vampire hunter destroys the Dumahaim and Kain loses 300 life points leaving him at 3700)
Kain: You fool! That attack activated my trap card! Implode! This takes 700 off your life points and destroys your vampire hunter!
(Vampire hunter implodes and Mortainius is reduced to 3300)
Mortainius: No!!
Kain: that's not all! I use my ring of Blood and crushed teeth to summon Vorador directly to the field! Now attack Vorador!
(Vorador attacks reducing Mortainius to 1700 life points)
Mortainius: you won't defeat me! I summon Malek the righteous paladin to the field in defense mode! And I'll put one card face down and end my turn!
Kain: your paladin is no match for Vorador! Vorador wipe out Malek!
(Vorador attacks Malek)
Mortainius: Not so fast! I activate my "Genocidal mob inspired by Moebius" trap card! Your vampire is gone!
Kain: No!
(Vorador has his head cut off)
Mortainius: now Malek attack him directly!
(Malek knocks Kain down to 1900)
Kain: damn.... But it does not matter! I'll lay two cards face down on the field and I'll summon The Wraith Raziel to the field and I'll activate the magic card "Righteous indignation"! this raise Raziel's attack points by 500! Now Raziel destroy his paladin!
(Raziel destroys Malek and reduces Mortainius to 600 life points)
Mortainius: Oh no!
Kain: that's not all! As Raziel is a soul devouring monster Malek health goes directly into my Life points
(Kain Life points increase to 2700)
Mortainius: *to himself* no.. I can't lose this! I have to do it! HASH AK GIK!!!
( music begins to play and an intense light surrounds Mortainius. When it leaves Mortainius is replaced by a huge black demon. Strangely enough no one seems to notice)
Hash ak Gik: I'll place one card face down also and I'll summon blood Reaver! Blood Reaver! Destroy Raziel
(Blood Reaver attempts to impale Raziel but fails and the Reaver shatters)
Hash ak Gik: What!? it can't be!
Kain: oh but it can! For my face down card was... Temporal paradox!
Hash ak Gik: No!
Kain: And now your defenseless less! Raziel Finish him off!
Hash ak Gik: Fool! I activate the informative mural magic card! This turns Raziel against you and he becomes my creature! Raziel attack Kains lifepoints directly!
Kain: Bad move! My "Scion of balance" magic card is activated! You can't hurt me!
(Raziel is deflected)
Kain: My turn! I sacrifice 1000 of my life points to summon .... The Elder God!! Elder God! Trap Raziel!
(The Elder god traps Raziel in his tentacles)
Kain: Raziel is immobilized! Your going down!
Hash ak Gik: Wrong answer! I use time streaming magic card to retrieve my Blood Reaver card!
Kain: Pah! What little it will help you!
Hash ak Gik: Blood Reaver attack Raziel!
Kain: What!?
(the Blood Reaver implaes Raziel)
Kain: You idiot! You just destroied your own card!
Hash ak Gik: No, I haven't! Raziel has been absorbed by the Reaver and now I have....the mighty Soul Reaver!!
Kain: Oh no!
Hash ak Gik: oh yes! Soul Reaver! Destroy his Elder God!
Kain: NOOOOOOO!!!!!
(The Elder God is destroyed and Kain is reduced to 0 lifepoints)
Hash ak Gik: you lose Kain!
Kain: it's not possible!
Hash ak Gik: I rock!!!
(Back at studio Umah turns away from the huge screen she was watching the battle on)
Umah: My god! What a unexpected outcome! A shocking defeat for Kain!
Kain: *on the screen* Well maybe I'd have one if someone hadn't stolen my nexus stone card!
Umah: er..... I have no idea what your talking about
(Umah waves her hand at someone offstage and the transmission from the battle field is cut off)
Umah: oh no! must be technical difficulties! But please, join us again next week!
Thanks for watching Nosgothic grudge match! With me Umah!
Marcus: *still on the ground* yeah but of course..... Umah stands......for.. Underdressed ..... Multifunctional.... Amourous... ..Hook-Erk!!!
(Umah lifts Marcus up off the ground by the throat)
Umah: Will you ever learn?
Marcus: never!!
(Screen fades to black and the credits roll to the sounds of screaming and a few minutes later an ambulance siren)
Popeland: Ohhhh..... that's going to hurt in the morning
Any suggestions for Grudge matches will be gratefully excepted. I have 2 others planned out but then... well I'm all out.... Unless I give it further thought
Which knowing me, I probably won't
Damn lazy me.....
Anyway, Reviewers get.......er..... am....
(looks around for something to give reviewers)
Ah! An exact replica of the Sweeping brush Dumah used to chase off the elder god!
Now you can sweep safe in the knowledge you are denying the wheel of fate!....er..... yeah!
Please Review!