Popeland: Wahey! People like it!
I knew a few Yu-Gi-Oh references wouldn't go astray!
Well..... I hoped anyway
Okay! This is the first fic I've ever done a review response on so you should all feel honoured!
Or at least unlucky
Tom T. Tompson
Ah... I was hoping there was some sort of super secret vault that housed the Guidelines!
Then I'd have some sort of excuse
Well thanks for the telling me
You'd think that''d be the first place I'd look!
Concept of a Demon
Ah, Conceptual Deamon my Friend
Do you happen to have physic powers?
Cause you were talking about brushes and Stones... Both of which feature quiet a lot in this chapter...
Wouldn't happen to have any lotto numbers you'd care to tell me?
Voice Over: Yes! It's
NOSGOTHIC GRUDGE MATCH!!
With your host, Marcus!
(Umah wheels Marcus on stage. He is in a full body cast and only his head is exposed)
Marcus: Welcome once again to Nosgothic grudge match! With me, Marcus! The Most ultimate presenter in the universe!
Umah: I'd like to inform the viewers that Marcus isn't in the best of conditions since I had to ride in the ambulance with him
Marcus: Is there anything you won't ride?
(Umah glares at him and nudges his wheelchair which begins to rolls slowly off stage)
Marcus: You'll never silence me!!
(a loud crashing noise is heard)
Umah: Anyway, tonight's grudge match has been heating up for centuries. Vampires Vs Sarafan! Vampires team of Janos, Vorador and Magnus will face off against the Sarafan's team of Malek, Raziel and The Sarafan Lord! Lets go now to Anarcrothe you is interviewing the Sarafan team
(the scene shifts to Anarcrothe standing beside the Sarafan Raziel)
Anarcrothe: Hello Mr Raziel thanks for speaking to me
Raziel: My pleasure
Anarcrothe: I'd just like to point out as a member of the Sarafan you can't do anything to harm me since I am a circle guardian
Raziel: Why would I want to...ow!
(Anarcrothe flicks Raziel's ear)
Anarcrothe: Anyway, tell us how you feel about your battle against the vampires
Raziel: Well I...... what are you doing?
Anarcrothe: Well I was just writing "Sarafan pansy" on your armour. Do you have a problem with that?
Raziel: *Gritting his teeth* ......no, sir
Anarcrothe: well could you please focus on my questions then? Now who do you think will be the greatest threat on the vampires teams
Raziel: Well naturally I'd assume it'd be Janos but.......... sir, could you please stop kicking me?
Anarcrothe: no.... no I don't think I could, Dumbass. I can call you Dumbass can't I?
Raziel: well I........
Anarcrothe: excellent, now please continue with your answer, Dumbass
(Anarcrothe continues to kick Raziel)
Raziel: Well I'd say.. Ow! ..Janos because he's the most ... Argh!... Experienced!
Anarcrothe: I see, well thanks for your time Raziel
Raziel: Your... ack! ... welcome!
Anarcrothe: Back to you in studio, Umah
(Raziel turns to leave but Anarcrothe grabs him by the shoulder )
Anarcrothe: oh we're not finished here yet! Now dance!
Raziel: oh god....
(the transmission ends and a rather confuse umah turns and looks into the camear)
Umah: er.....well..thanks for that "informative" report Anarcrothe
Marcus: *offstage* Yes, that was as informative as you are tolerable Umah!
Umah: *twitching with rage* please excuse me for a moment
(Umah walked off stage and screaming and the sound of a breaking window is heard. Umah walks back on stage dusting her hands)
Umah: Sorry about that people. Just some technical difficulties. Now lets go over to Dumah for the event selection!
(Scene changes to Dumah walking through a cave with a torch)
Dumah: Ah, welcome viewers! Today's selection will be a little bit different from normal since the selection wheel "Disappeared" last night. Luckily we had a tracker placed on the wheel in case such a thing happened
(Dumah peers around a corner in the cave)
Dumah: Yep there it is
(walks over to the wheel)
Elder God: What!? Who's there?!
Dumah: you again?!
Elder God: The wheel is mine! I am the hub of the wheel!! You can't take it away from me!
( A tentacle swings down at Dumah but he dodges it)
Dumah: Oh crap! What I wouldn't give for centuries in limbo to hone my strength now!
(Dumah jumps over a tentacle and runs towards the wheel and spins it)
Dumah: Okay! It's spinning... it's ....eep!
(Dumah ducks a tentacle)
Dumah: okay! It's slowing down!
(Just the wheel stops on "Curling match" a tentacle wraps around Dumah's leg and pulls him to the ground)
Dumah: *being dragged off* It says curling match! Tell my clan I love them! And tell...
(A tentacle smashes Dumah's camera and the screen goes blank)
Umah: Well that's settled, a Curling match! Thanks for that Dumah, may you rest in peace! Now lets go live to the battle!
(The scene shows the Sarafan and vampire teams on a icefield)
Raziel: Curling! Ha! See I told you bring my curling tongs was a good idea! Unfortunately I'm the only person on this team with hair to curl so I guess it's all down to me!
Malek: Raziel, it's curling as in that sport with the big stone and the sweeping brushes. You know they sometimes show it on the Nosgoth winter Olympics?
Raziel: oh right.... Damn
Sarafan lord: .....Why is "Gormless Git" written on your Forehead Raziel?
Raziel: *angrily" I'd rather not talk about it!! Suffice to say Malek will be doing the interviews next time!
Malek: Not likely! It took me weeks to get the dents out of my armour the last time
(View switches to the vampires)
Vorador: *staring over at the Sarafan* they're planning something......
Raziel: Yeah.... And is that my curling tongs Raziel has?! I was looking for that!
Magnus: Hey does anyone on our team know how to play curling?
(Janos and Vorador both stare at Magnus)
Magnus: Fine! does anyone on our team know how to play curling, Meat....
Vorador: That's better.... And I don't think so
Janos: Are you kidding me!? I lived above a lake that froze solid every year! Your talking to the curling master here!
(Moebius walks into the centre of the ice field)
Moebius: Okay! Listen up! I'm going to be the official judge for this match!
(There is an audible groan from theVampire's team)
Moebius:*grinning evilly* But don't worry, I'll be fair...
Malek: So you won't have a Bias, Moe? See what I did there! I took apart his name and made it funny!! cause his name in Moe-Bius! But bius kinda sounds like bias!
(Malek starts roaring laughing)
Moebius:*disgusted* That was just TERRIBLE! Jeez guys! I was going to let you win but after that! Damn, I'm going for the vampires now!
(Raziel and the Sarafan Lord glare at Malek)
Malek: But it was funny!
Sarafan Lord: Just shut up!
Moebius: anyway, each team will have three shots. Whichever time gets in the middle of this target wins
(points to large target below his feet)
Moebius: anyway, vampires start!
Janos: Okay you two sweep and I'll throw right?!
Vorador and Magnus: Right!
Janos:.....
Vorador:.....
Magnus: *sighing* right.... meat......
Vorador: And don't you forget it!
( the vampire team go to their positions. Moments later Janos throws the first stone)
Vorador: *sweeping frantically* Personally I don't see the point of the sweeping!
Magnus: *Also sweeping frantically* It's probably to lower surface tension between the stone and the ice!
Vorador:......
Magnus: Oh for heavens sake!..... meat!
Vorador: Bout time!
(as the stone nears the target Vorador and Magnus stop sweeping. The stone reaches the centre of the target and stops dead)
Vampires team: YES!!!
Magnus: ....... Meat
Sarafan Lord: Unafair! janos used telekinesis!
Janos: Did not!
Sarafan lord: Your hands were glowing!
Janos: my hands glow sometimes! Nothing wrong with that!
Moebius: quiet! Sarafan team just take your shot!
Sarafan Lord: Fine!!
Malek: Hey! How come we don't have sweeping brushes!?
Moebius: Look there weren't enough! Just take the damn shot
(at this moment Popeland feels a slight pang of guilt for giving away those seeping brushes to reviewers)
(the Sarafan lord throws the stone with all his strength and it flies directly for the vampire teams stone. Unfortunately the vampires stone levitated up slightly and the Sarafan lord shot missed)
Raziel: Unfair! None of our team can use telekinesis!
Moebius: your loss I guess, vampires take your shot!
(Janos throws the stone once more but this time Vorador or Magnus don't even bother to sweep. The stone hovers slightly and lands on their first stone)
All Vampires: YES!!
Magnus: .. and meat....
Raziel took the next shot for the Sarafan. Unfortunately the stone spontaneously combusted mid way.
Sarafan lord: Vorador shot a lighting bolt form his hands!
Moebius: *innocently* Sorry, must have missed it. Vampires your last shot!
(Janos once gain took the shot. This time it even did a loop de loop in the air before it landed on top of the other stones)
Moebius: Last shot of the game! Your turn Sarafan!
Malek: That's it!
(Malek fires an energy wave and the Sarafan's final stone is propelled forward as an unbelievable speed. It hits the vampires stones and there's a deafening explosion. Moments later the sarafan and vampires pulled theirs heads out of the various snow drift they had landed on)
Raziel: Ow.......
Malek: ohhhhhh....... Pain...
Sarafan Lord: Argh!! Dying!
Vorador: Snow... burning head!
Janos: I think I sprained my wing......
Magnus: Ack! I think I swallowed a rock!
All expect Magnus: ........
Magnus: Look, I don't HAVE to say that word in every damn sentence! I am a much deeper character than that!
All except Magnus: ........
Magnus:.. oh for the love of god....... Meat
All except Magnus: good
Vorador strolls over to huge crater where the score zone was
Vorador: Huh...... I suppose it's a draw then
Raziel: is Moebius down there?
Vorador: yep.... He's not moving though....
Malek: Well I'd call that a victory!
Janos: Lets all go over to Vorador's place and celebrate!
Vorador: Fine! But you all have to promise not to break all my furniture or kill all my brides like every other guest I've ever had!
(The group mumble non -committaly and wander off)
(Back at studio Umah turns away from the huge screen she was watching the curling on)
Umah: well neither team won, but with Moebius lying at the bottom of an ice pit unconscious I think that's a victory for society!
(there is a squeaking noise as the vampire Melchiah wheels Marcus on stage)
Marcus: Thanks, Melchiah
Melchiah: *excitedly* No thank you! With this scalp wax you gave me I'm bound to get all the ladies
Marcus: use it well my friend for it has powers!
(Melchiah salutes Marcus and scampers off stage)
Umah: You again!?
Marcus: Look Umah, I'm sorry about the way I acted. To apologise I brought you this present
(Umah picks up a gift wrapped parcel)
Umah: *genuinely touched* perhaps I was wrong about you Marcus
Marcus: open it
(Umah tears off the wrapping paper excitedly)
Umah: *confused* Quick and Easy Vegetarian cooking?
Marcus: Yes, because if you take out the words "Vegetarian" and "cooking" it's just like you!! Bwhahaah!!
Umah: *enraged* Why you little....!!!
Marcus: Thanks for watching Nosgothic Grudge Match! With me, the soon to be re-hospitalised Marcus!
(Screen fades to black and the credits roll to the familiar sounds of screaming. No ambulance siren this time as the Ambulance was just waiting outside the studio, because they knew Marcus well enough at this point
Popeland: ah that Marcus..... you gotta love his determination!
I'd give reviwers something but I still fell guilty from depriving those Sarafan of sweeping brushes!
I didn't mean it!!
Please Review!
I knew a few Yu-Gi-Oh references wouldn't go astray!
Well..... I hoped anyway
Okay! This is the first fic I've ever done a review response on so you should all feel honoured!
Or at least unlucky
Tom T. Tompson
Ah... I was hoping there was some sort of super secret vault that housed the Guidelines!
Then I'd have some sort of excuse
Well thanks for the telling me
You'd think that''d be the first place I'd look!
Concept of a Demon
Ah, Conceptual Deamon my Friend
Do you happen to have physic powers?
Cause you were talking about brushes and Stones... Both of which feature quiet a lot in this chapter...
Wouldn't happen to have any lotto numbers you'd care to tell me?
Voice Over: Yes! It's
NOSGOTHIC GRUDGE MATCH!!
With your host, Marcus!
(Umah wheels Marcus on stage. He is in a full body cast and only his head is exposed)
Marcus: Welcome once again to Nosgothic grudge match! With me, Marcus! The Most ultimate presenter in the universe!
Umah: I'd like to inform the viewers that Marcus isn't in the best of conditions since I had to ride in the ambulance with him
Marcus: Is there anything you won't ride?
(Umah glares at him and nudges his wheelchair which begins to rolls slowly off stage)
Marcus: You'll never silence me!!
(a loud crashing noise is heard)
Umah: Anyway, tonight's grudge match has been heating up for centuries. Vampires Vs Sarafan! Vampires team of Janos, Vorador and Magnus will face off against the Sarafan's team of Malek, Raziel and The Sarafan Lord! Lets go now to Anarcrothe you is interviewing the Sarafan team
(the scene shifts to Anarcrothe standing beside the Sarafan Raziel)
Anarcrothe: Hello Mr Raziel thanks for speaking to me
Raziel: My pleasure
Anarcrothe: I'd just like to point out as a member of the Sarafan you can't do anything to harm me since I am a circle guardian
Raziel: Why would I want to...ow!
(Anarcrothe flicks Raziel's ear)
Anarcrothe: Anyway, tell us how you feel about your battle against the vampires
Raziel: Well I...... what are you doing?
Anarcrothe: Well I was just writing "Sarafan pansy" on your armour. Do you have a problem with that?
Raziel: *Gritting his teeth* ......no, sir
Anarcrothe: well could you please focus on my questions then? Now who do you think will be the greatest threat on the vampires teams
Raziel: Well naturally I'd assume it'd be Janos but.......... sir, could you please stop kicking me?
Anarcrothe: no.... no I don't think I could, Dumbass. I can call you Dumbass can't I?
Raziel: well I........
Anarcrothe: excellent, now please continue with your answer, Dumbass
(Anarcrothe continues to kick Raziel)
Raziel: Well I'd say.. Ow! ..Janos because he's the most ... Argh!... Experienced!
Anarcrothe: I see, well thanks for your time Raziel
Raziel: Your... ack! ... welcome!
Anarcrothe: Back to you in studio, Umah
(Raziel turns to leave but Anarcrothe grabs him by the shoulder )
Anarcrothe: oh we're not finished here yet! Now dance!
Raziel: oh god....
(the transmission ends and a rather confuse umah turns and looks into the camear)
Umah: er.....well..thanks for that "informative" report Anarcrothe
Marcus: *offstage* Yes, that was as informative as you are tolerable Umah!
Umah: *twitching with rage* please excuse me for a moment
(Umah walked off stage and screaming and the sound of a breaking window is heard. Umah walks back on stage dusting her hands)
Umah: Sorry about that people. Just some technical difficulties. Now lets go over to Dumah for the event selection!
(Scene changes to Dumah walking through a cave with a torch)
Dumah: Ah, welcome viewers! Today's selection will be a little bit different from normal since the selection wheel "Disappeared" last night. Luckily we had a tracker placed on the wheel in case such a thing happened
(Dumah peers around a corner in the cave)
Dumah: Yep there it is
(walks over to the wheel)
Elder God: What!? Who's there?!
Dumah: you again?!
Elder God: The wheel is mine! I am the hub of the wheel!! You can't take it away from me!
( A tentacle swings down at Dumah but he dodges it)
Dumah: Oh crap! What I wouldn't give for centuries in limbo to hone my strength now!
(Dumah jumps over a tentacle and runs towards the wheel and spins it)
Dumah: Okay! It's spinning... it's ....eep!
(Dumah ducks a tentacle)
Dumah: okay! It's slowing down!
(Just the wheel stops on "Curling match" a tentacle wraps around Dumah's leg and pulls him to the ground)
Dumah: *being dragged off* It says curling match! Tell my clan I love them! And tell...
(A tentacle smashes Dumah's camera and the screen goes blank)
Umah: Well that's settled, a Curling match! Thanks for that Dumah, may you rest in peace! Now lets go live to the battle!
(The scene shows the Sarafan and vampire teams on a icefield)
Raziel: Curling! Ha! See I told you bring my curling tongs was a good idea! Unfortunately I'm the only person on this team with hair to curl so I guess it's all down to me!
Malek: Raziel, it's curling as in that sport with the big stone and the sweeping brushes. You know they sometimes show it on the Nosgoth winter Olympics?
Raziel: oh right.... Damn
Sarafan lord: .....Why is "Gormless Git" written on your Forehead Raziel?
Raziel: *angrily" I'd rather not talk about it!! Suffice to say Malek will be doing the interviews next time!
Malek: Not likely! It took me weeks to get the dents out of my armour the last time
(View switches to the vampires)
Vorador: *staring over at the Sarafan* they're planning something......
Raziel: Yeah.... And is that my curling tongs Raziel has?! I was looking for that!
Magnus: Hey does anyone on our team know how to play curling?
(Janos and Vorador both stare at Magnus)
Magnus: Fine! does anyone on our team know how to play curling, Meat....
Vorador: That's better.... And I don't think so
Janos: Are you kidding me!? I lived above a lake that froze solid every year! Your talking to the curling master here!
(Moebius walks into the centre of the ice field)
Moebius: Okay! Listen up! I'm going to be the official judge for this match!
(There is an audible groan from theVampire's team)
Moebius:*grinning evilly* But don't worry, I'll be fair...
Malek: So you won't have a Bias, Moe? See what I did there! I took apart his name and made it funny!! cause his name in Moe-Bius! But bius kinda sounds like bias!
(Malek starts roaring laughing)
Moebius:*disgusted* That was just TERRIBLE! Jeez guys! I was going to let you win but after that! Damn, I'm going for the vampires now!
(Raziel and the Sarafan Lord glare at Malek)
Malek: But it was funny!
Sarafan Lord: Just shut up!
Moebius: anyway, each team will have three shots. Whichever time gets in the middle of this target wins
(points to large target below his feet)
Moebius: anyway, vampires start!
Janos: Okay you two sweep and I'll throw right?!
Vorador and Magnus: Right!
Janos:.....
Vorador:.....
Magnus: *sighing* right.... meat......
Vorador: And don't you forget it!
( the vampire team go to their positions. Moments later Janos throws the first stone)
Vorador: *sweeping frantically* Personally I don't see the point of the sweeping!
Magnus: *Also sweeping frantically* It's probably to lower surface tension between the stone and the ice!
Vorador:......
Magnus: Oh for heavens sake!..... meat!
Vorador: Bout time!
(as the stone nears the target Vorador and Magnus stop sweeping. The stone reaches the centre of the target and stops dead)
Vampires team: YES!!!
Magnus: ....... Meat
Sarafan Lord: Unafair! janos used telekinesis!
Janos: Did not!
Sarafan lord: Your hands were glowing!
Janos: my hands glow sometimes! Nothing wrong with that!
Moebius: quiet! Sarafan team just take your shot!
Sarafan Lord: Fine!!
Malek: Hey! How come we don't have sweeping brushes!?
Moebius: Look there weren't enough! Just take the damn shot
(at this moment Popeland feels a slight pang of guilt for giving away those seeping brushes to reviewers)
(the Sarafan lord throws the stone with all his strength and it flies directly for the vampire teams stone. Unfortunately the vampires stone levitated up slightly and the Sarafan lord shot missed)
Raziel: Unfair! None of our team can use telekinesis!
Moebius: your loss I guess, vampires take your shot!
(Janos throws the stone once more but this time Vorador or Magnus don't even bother to sweep. The stone hovers slightly and lands on their first stone)
All Vampires: YES!!
Magnus: .. and meat....
Raziel took the next shot for the Sarafan. Unfortunately the stone spontaneously combusted mid way.
Sarafan lord: Vorador shot a lighting bolt form his hands!
Moebius: *innocently* Sorry, must have missed it. Vampires your last shot!
(Janos once gain took the shot. This time it even did a loop de loop in the air before it landed on top of the other stones)
Moebius: Last shot of the game! Your turn Sarafan!
Malek: That's it!
(Malek fires an energy wave and the Sarafan's final stone is propelled forward as an unbelievable speed. It hits the vampires stones and there's a deafening explosion. Moments later the sarafan and vampires pulled theirs heads out of the various snow drift they had landed on)
Raziel: Ow.......
Malek: ohhhhhh....... Pain...
Sarafan Lord: Argh!! Dying!
Vorador: Snow... burning head!
Janos: I think I sprained my wing......
Magnus: Ack! I think I swallowed a rock!
All expect Magnus: ........
Magnus: Look, I don't HAVE to say that word in every damn sentence! I am a much deeper character than that!
All except Magnus: ........
Magnus:.. oh for the love of god....... Meat
All except Magnus: good
Vorador strolls over to huge crater where the score zone was
Vorador: Huh...... I suppose it's a draw then
Raziel: is Moebius down there?
Vorador: yep.... He's not moving though....
Malek: Well I'd call that a victory!
Janos: Lets all go over to Vorador's place and celebrate!
Vorador: Fine! But you all have to promise not to break all my furniture or kill all my brides like every other guest I've ever had!
(The group mumble non -committaly and wander off)
(Back at studio Umah turns away from the huge screen she was watching the curling on)
Umah: well neither team won, but with Moebius lying at the bottom of an ice pit unconscious I think that's a victory for society!
(there is a squeaking noise as the vampire Melchiah wheels Marcus on stage)
Marcus: Thanks, Melchiah
Melchiah: *excitedly* No thank you! With this scalp wax you gave me I'm bound to get all the ladies
Marcus: use it well my friend for it has powers!
(Melchiah salutes Marcus and scampers off stage)
Umah: You again!?
Marcus: Look Umah, I'm sorry about the way I acted. To apologise I brought you this present
(Umah picks up a gift wrapped parcel)
Umah: *genuinely touched* perhaps I was wrong about you Marcus
Marcus: open it
(Umah tears off the wrapping paper excitedly)
Umah: *confused* Quick and Easy Vegetarian cooking?
Marcus: Yes, because if you take out the words "Vegetarian" and "cooking" it's just like you!! Bwhahaah!!
Umah: *enraged* Why you little....!!!
Marcus: Thanks for watching Nosgothic Grudge Match! With me, the soon to be re-hospitalised Marcus!
(Screen fades to black and the credits roll to the familiar sounds of screaming. No ambulance siren this time as the Ambulance was just waiting outside the studio, because they knew Marcus well enough at this point
Popeland: ah that Marcus..... you gotta love his determination!
I'd give reviwers something but I still fell guilty from depriving those Sarafan of sweeping brushes!
I didn't mean it!!
Please Review!