Chapter Thirty-Five – The Bitches from Hell

"Jo, do you think we should change cars? Get another car?" Blair questioned thoughtfully as she and Jo continued their drive along the long, dusty road. The police might already know what our car looks like, she thought. Maybe if we had a different car, it might make us harder to find…

Jo shook her head and sighed. "The only way I figure we can get ourselves another car is to hotwire one," she replied. "And even though that is my specialty, there don't seem to be any cars out here besides ours so it looks like hotwirin' may be out of the question. But it's still a good idea."

Blair chuckled. "Guess we can add 'car theft' to our list of charges when we get captured."

"Ha! That's not gonna happen because we sure as hell won't," Jo replied resolutely.

Blair gave Jo a smile. "And that's one of the many reasons why I love you, Jo Polniaczek – you never give up. And I know we're not going to get captured."

"What makes you so sure?"

Blair only shrugged. "I just…have this feeling."

"A feeling?"

"Yes…I know I'm not the most religious person in the universe but something is telling me we're going to be OK, no matter what happens to us."

Jo quirked an eyebrow. "Exactly what will happen?" She asked, feeling her stomach start to quake.

Blair shrugged again. "If we get caught, if we end up in Mexico or whatever…it'll still be OK. And you know why it'll be OK?"

"Why?"

"Because we'll be together. And as long as you're here with me, I can do and get through anything."

Jo hated sappy and mushy stuff but Blair's words shot through her heart like a dagger. She suddenly felt tears spring to her eyes.

"Dammit, Blair…" She muttered softly.

Blair smiled fondly at Jo. "Let me guess…all this desert dust is making your allergies go haywire, right? Is that why your eyes are tearing up?" She teased.

Jo cast her a look.

Blair reached over and kissed Jo on the cheek. "Judging from your very wet face, I know you feel the same way. And I meant every word I said – I don't give a fuck what life has to throw at me as long as I have you."

Jo laughed. "Eloquently put, Warner," she teased.

"But still true," Blair said, reaching out to grab one of Jo's hands away from the steering wheel to grasp. "I love you, Jo," she declared. "Always have and always will." She then kissed Jo's hand.

Jo gave Blair a tender smile. "I love you, Blair," she repeated softly.

Blair smiled, sighing contently.

"Gosh, Jo…I just feel so…I feel so…awake right now. Do you feel that?"

Jo then shrugged. "I guess so," she replied. "I mean, my eyes are open."

Blair took in a deep breath. "I mean…for the first time ever, I don't remember ever feeling this wide awake before. Everything just feels different, you know? Everything looks new. Do you feel that, Jo? Like you've just got something to look forward to."

Blair then beamed radiantly. Like knowing I've found love and someone loves me back.

Jo couldn't help but mirror Blair's radiant smile. It was contagious.

The two stayed quiet, basking in the moment.

Suddenly, Jo broke the silence.

"We'll be drinkin' margaritas by the sea, mamacita," she suggested, giving Blair a mischievous grin.

"We can change our names," Blair added giddily.

"We could live in a hacienda," Jo said.

Blair's eyes shone with excitement as she thought of a future in Mexico with Jo. "I could get a job at Club Med or something," she said.

"Yes! Now what kinda deal do ya think that cop could make that could beat that?" Jo asked.

'Cause I think I already found one. The 'Jo Polniaczek loves Blair Warner' deal sounds like a helluva great deal to me.

"I guess it would have to be a good one," Blair said, grinning.

"It would have to be a damn good one," Jo countered.

The two lovers then burst out laughing as the sun rose higher and higher in the Arizona sky. The car came to a sudden intersection and Jo decided to stop. She then pulled out a map from her visor.

"We should probably head a little further in," Jo said thoughtfully as she studied the map. "There's not that many roads in this state. I wanna try to hit Mexico somewhere not so close to New Mexico. I bet they wanna kill us over there in New Mexico."

Blair shrugged nonchalantly as her mind thought about the trooper she'd locked in the trunk of his own car, feeling somewhat horrible for what she'd done. But then he'd of figured out who were and…She quickly pushed the thought away.

"Fine, but you're driving," she said, giving a Jo a playful look.

Jo only rolled her eyes as she then veered right and continued speeding down the road.

Blair reached down to turn on the radio.

Diana Ross and The Supremes' "Baby Love" played loudly and the two giddily sang and danced along.

'Cause baby love, my baby love

Been missing ya, miss kissing ya

Instead of breaking up

Let's do some kissing and making up

Don't throw our love away

In my arms why don't you stay?

Need ya, need ya, baby love, baby love

How so very true, Blair thought. I need some hugging and kissing from my baby love…

Blair's amorous thoughts were interrupted by Jo as she gasped loudly. "Holy shit!" She cried out.

"What?!" Blair asked in alarm. The cops must be onto us!

"Look, babe!" Jo said, pointing to next to them. On Blair's side, was the same obnoxious trucker they'd seen twice before. He had the same tire flaps and everything.

"I don't believe this shit," Jo groused, grimacing.

Blair didn't blink an eyelash. "Pass the bastard," she only said.

When Jo sped up towards him, the trucker then turned his head towards them, grinning like a Cheshire Cat. He howled like a dog and blew kisses at them.

"You girls both ready for a big dick?" He leered, honking his horn and laughing.

Even if I did want dick, it definitely would not be from you! Blair thought. The thought of the trucker, with his mangy beard and beer belly made Blair inwardly shudder.

Blair then cast an eye at Jo through her sunglasses. Jo was also wearing shades but Blair knew she was giving the trucker one of her patented death glares.

The two women didn't say a word but they both silently agreed it was finally time to put this loser in his place.

Jo stopped the car and the trucker stopped his semi-tanker next to their car.

"Hey, there. You gals alright?" The trucker asked them.

Blair shrugged. Blair admitted to herself she was a bit naïve when it came to some people outside her society world but she knew just what this trucker was proposing and it wasn't asking how they were doing.

"We're fine," Blair said in a overly friendly but fake tone. "How are you?"

The trucker beamed with sheer delight. "I'm greeeeeeat!" He said. "So…are you gals lookin' to get serious?" He then asked, waggling his eyebrows.

Blair almost felt the urge to puke, right then and there. She then turned her head to Jo, as if she were asking her of what to do next. Jo only nodded.

"Yep," Jo said sweetly. "I think we are. Why don'tcha follow us and we'll show ya how absolutely serious we are."

And will we ever!

Jo and Blair both watched incredulously as the trucker went to park his truck. He then took off his wedding ring, sprayed his breath with breath mint spray and stuffed a few condoms in his pocket. He was so wrapped up in his preparation, he did not notice that as Jo and Blair waited for him in their car, they had already made preparations of their own by hiding their pistols in the back waistlines of their jeans.

The trucker danced giddily towards them, doing several lewd hip thrusts as he danced.

Ugh. I can't wait to put this nasty fucker in his place! Jo thought.

"Where are you going?" Blair asked the man, eying his truck.

"Sacramento," he said to her, grinning.

"Ya know, we've been seein' you all over the place," Jo remarked sweetly. "Why don'tcha take those shades off, huh? I wanna see your eyes."

So I can probably make 'em black and blue.

The trucker took off his sunglasses, still grinning.

"Yeah…I been seein' you a lot, too," he said, giving both women appreciative looks up and down their bodies. He then winked.

Blair wanted to rip his head off. However, she kept her cool.

"Well, we think you've got some really bad manners, mister," she said coolly.

The trucker nodded, chuckling. "Yeah…"he agreed, not quite sure if Blair's remark was a kinky one or not.

"Yeah…where do you get off behavin' like that with women ya don't even know?" Jo asked him, an low edge to her voice.

The man only snickered nervously, unsure as to how to answer the question.

Where's this leadin' to? Usually we'd be in the truck, nekkid as jay birds by now…

"How would ya like it if somebody did that ya mom? Or ya sister?" Jo questioned. "Or ya wife?"

The trucker's face suddenly fell. "Huh? What the hell ya talkin' 'bout?" He asked, trying to save face.

Jo narrowed her eyes at him through her shades.

"Ya know damn well what I'm talkin' about," she said dangerously.

"I mean, really," Blair replied, rolling her eyes. "That bullcrap with your tongue…I mean, what is that? That's just disgusting!"

"Yeah and that stupid shit ya do with pointin' to ya lap! What the fuck is that supposed to mean exactly, huh?" Jo demanded angrily. "Does it mean 'Hey, pull over and lemme show ya what a fuckin' slob I am!?'"

"Or does it mean 'suck my dick'?" Blair chimed in, giving the trucker her own death glare.

The trucker then scowled. Forget these crazy broads…I can get my dick wet elsewhere! He then turned around back towards his truck.

"You women are crazy!" He hissed angrily.

"Ya got that right!" Jo said smugly.

"We think you should apologize," Blair said to him sweetly.

The trucker turned around to face them, aghast. "I'm not apologizin' for shit!" He yelled, his face reddening.

"Ya better say ya sorry," Jo told him in a warning voice.

"Ha! Fuck that!" The trucker said defiantly. He continued to walk on.

He only stopped abruptly when he heard the loud click of a gun. He turned around to see Jo pointing her gun at him.

"Say ya sorry, pal, or I'm gonna make ya fuckin' sorry," she threatened.

The trucker's face grew white. His own gun was back in the truck and he had never thought to bring it. And why would I? If I knew these broads were armed…

"Shit," he moaned.

"I bet you called us 'beavers' on your little CB radio, didn't you?" Blair taunted, scowling.

The trucker nodded proudly. "Yep! Sure did!" He admitted.

Blair's scowl deepened. "Damn!" She exclaimed, turning to Jo. "I hate that! I hate being referred to as a 'beaver', don't you?"

Jo felt herself growing more and more enraged and impatient with the moronic and insolent "man" in front of her.

Can't kill this bastard…can't kill this bastard…

"Are ya gonna apologize or what?" She growled, gritting her teeth.

The trucker glared at both women and gave them both indignant stares.

"FUCK YOU!" He screamed.

Jo set her jaw. If that's how ya wanna play, then fuck it, she thought.

She then moved her gun away from the trucker and instead, shot at two tires of his truck, flattening them.

The loud hiss of air was like music to Blair and Jo's ears.

Blair let out a squeal of impression at Jo's shot.

The trucker, however, was not pleased. He looked from his flat tires to Blair and Jo.

"You…you…bitch!" He yelled, insulting Jo.

Jo cast a look at Blair, raising an eyebrow. "Ya know, I don't think he's gonna apologize," she replied playfully.

Blair grinned. "Nah…I don't think so," she agreed. She pulled out her gun from behind and nodded a signal to Jo.

The two women then shot bullets towards his truck together.

As they both shot towards the truck, the semi-tanker instantly blew up in front of everyone's eyes. The explosion was loud with great balls of fire appearing and black plumes of smoke filling the air.

The trucker stood in disbelief as he watched his semi-tanker blow up in front of him. He collapsed to his knees.

"You wicked, wicked heathens! You bitches from Hell!" He bellowed, cursing Jo and Blair out. He shook his fists at them.

So because we refused a threesome and after all the things he did to us and called us, we're the heathens? Blair thought. If that's what bitches from Hell do to get revenge on slobs like that, then I guess that's what I am - a heathen bitch who loves girls!

Blair only laughed with glee as Jo drove in dusty circles around the angry trucker, both celebrating their comeuppance.

They eventually drove away, leaving the man alone with the ruins of his truck; smoke, fire and dust behind them.

"Hey, where'd ya learn to shoot like that? I never knew ya had it in ya to actually shoot a gun." Jo wondered.

"Oh…off the TV," Blair remarked.

They both began cracking up with hearty laughter.

"You know what's happening now Jo?" Blair asked they as they sped away. Her eyes sparkled and her face was flush. Jo was filled with the sudden urge to grab Blair and kiss her. Blair was full of surprises and it was such a damn turn-on.

"I think we've gone insane," Blair then replied.

"Yep," Jo agreed. Better add attempted vehicular accidental homicide or whatever the fuck to our list of charges, Jo thought. She threw her head back, laughing, as she and Blair left yet another scene of crime.