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C:/nomad/fanfic/1388651> chapter9.rtf

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(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail? R

"Due to their plea of ignorance, the accused may now be informed of the charge against them," said one of the zebra-striped Propagators.

The grey Propagator who had been performing prosecutorial duties so far nodded. "I will oblige the court with an example," it said. "Commander Squall, when you and the human Sorceress Rinoa boarded the vessel you call the Ragnarok, hereafter referred to as Exhibit Y, did you encounter approximately eight Propagators aboard it?"

Squall frowned as he tried to remember how many Propagators there had been. "...Maybe."

"The accused may not prevaricate!" snapped the other of the zebra-striped Propagators.

"May not what?" Squall asked.

"The accused may not ask questions!" snapped the Propagator.

"Prevaricate," Quistis repeated. "It means to evade or distort an issue to —"

"I knew that," Squall snapped.

"The accused may not talk amongst themselves!" snapped the Propagator.

"Commander Squall, when you encountered the aforementioned Propagators aboard the aforementioned vessel you call the Ragnarok, which we are now theoretically referring to as Exhibit Y, did you fight and kill them?"

"I think I see where this is going," said Quistis.

Squall apparently didn't. "Yes, we killed them," he said. "A lot."

"Ah-ha!" said the Propagator prosecutor. "Pan-Galactic Trade Law #2 dictates that those Propagators gained full salvage rights to that vessel by boarding it in numbers greater than two and killing the puny human occupants a maximum of one time. Since you failed to properly observe this law when you boarded the vessel, you are guilty by definition! I rest my case."

"But that's stupid!" Squall insisted. "...They were trying to kill us!"

"Yeah!" Rinoa chimed in. "Plus, they were big! And ugly!"

An angry murmur came from the spectators.

"That maybe wasn't the best thing you could have said right there," said Seifer.

"The accused may not insult the Pan-Galactic Propagator Authority!" declared the zebra-striped Propagator. "...Or talk amongst themselves!"

"The accused may now be cross-examined," said its zebra-striped companion.

Now the Geezard ambled up to face Squall. "Mr. Squall," it said; then it trailed off, seeming transfixed by Squall's waist. "...Why is your belt so shiny?"

Squall blinked. "What?"

"You've got those pretty shineys on your belt, and they're so...shiny," elaborated the Geezard.

"I'm starting to get the impression we don't have the best legal counsel in the universe," Irvine muttered.

"I wonder what they tastes like?" The Geezard began to advance on Squall, teeth and claws snapping expectantly.

"H...hey," Squall said, trying to back up but being blocked by all the people standing right behind him. "You can't eat my belt. Those are important parts and tools for my gunblade I keep on it!"

Seifer let out a cough that suspiciously sounded like, "Yeah, right." Squall glared at him.

"Also, we're totally screwed," added Irvine.

The Geezard froze, staring at Irvine with unnaturally wide eyes. "Did you say...Screws?"

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"SCREWDRIVER," said Fujin, tossing the implement down to Raijin who was on the lower level of the cargo hold.

"Hey, all right, ya know!" Raijin replied. He then went about removing one of the floor panels.

The two of them had been trying to find their way out of the Ragnarok for a good thirty-six minutes, and a somewhat mediocre nineteen seconds, to no avail. Retracing their steps from the bridge had led them back to the Air Room, which apparently now connected to the cargo hold. The cargo hold led into the observation deck, which then led to the loading hatch, but the hatch apparently led back to the cargo hold. Raijin had run off into one of the side compartments at this point, and the two had been unable to rejoin each other since. The Ragnarok appeared to be changing its layout all around them; once, Fujin had tried to descend the stairs from the catwalk in the cargo bay, and ended up on the bridge somehow. The best they had managed to do was to shout at each other from different levels of the cargo bay, and then toss a screwdriver between them. Their new plan was to disassemble the Ragnarok piece by piece and get out that way; Fujin had some reservations about the idea, but was beginning to dislike the spaceship with some intensity.

"Man, this is the wrong size, ya know!" said Raijin. "I'm gonna need a .8 millimeter to handle this, ya know!"

"ADJUST," Fujin suggested. "DIFFERENT-SIZED HEADS, IN HANDLE."

Raijin examined the screwdriver handle and found the different-sized screwdriver heads. "Hey, you're right, ya know! That's really cool, ya know!" He went back to trying to unscrew the floor panel. "Hey, what d'you think's goin' on here, ya know?" he asked. "It's like the whole layout of the ship don't make no sense no more, ya know?"

"UNUSUAL," Fujin agreed. "PHYSICS, VIOLATED."

"Yeah, and that's not supposed to happen, ya know?" Raijin said. "Hey, ya know what I think, ya know? I think there's maybe some kinda magic, ya know? I mean, that's usually how ya violate physics, ya know?"

"POSSIBILITY," Fujin agreed.

Further discussion was cut off when a blue Propagator ambled into the room. It came through the door to the catwalk where Fujin was standing, even though the door shouldn't have been big enough for the Propagator to fit through (the door had apparently grown in the past three minutes). And, after making a noise that distinctly sounded like "Yikes!", it charged at her.

Fujin was, however, prepared. "ELLONE, WHERE?" she demanded, then hurled her shuriken at the Propagator, catching it directly under the jaw. Since she had used a GameShark to give herself 100 Apocalypses junctioned to Strength, she killed it in one hit.

"Hang on, Fuj!" Raijin called, even though she had already defeated the Propagator. "I'm comin' to help!" Then he charged through the door to the secondary hold, for some reason. Before the door closed, there was a noise like Raijin yelping, and a noise that distinctly sounded like another Propagator saying "Yikes!".

Fujin sighed.

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"Bad day?" asked the suave yet mysterious man as Xu was sipping her drink at the Dollet bar.

Xu nodded, apparently not particularly concerned with his mysteriousness. "In several different senses of the word, yeah. I couldn't even catch a boat over here; I had to take the train to Timber, get onto another train that took me to the bluffs and then walk into town."

"That's too bad," the man said, suavely yet mysteriously. "So...what brings you to this town, anyway?"

"I wanted to get drunk," said Xu. "They don't have any bars in Balamb. Or restaurants, for that matter. A couple people will let you cook in their houses sometimes, if you ask nicely."

"Doesn't sound like a very exciting place," said the man. Suavely.

"It isn't," Xu agreed, not suavely. "But I'm from Garden, which has been a little too interesting lately. We're breaking in a new Garden Master, one of our SeeDs was abducted by aliens and the others are out looking for her, and our Headmaster is leaving."

"Really," the man said, suddenly very interested. "Uh, I mean, sounds crazy. Lemme buy you another drink."

Xu shrugged. "Sure. Something tells me I shouldn't trust you, but I'm feeling adventurous tonight. I wonder if that's 'cause I'm drunk?"

"Hey, don't worry," said the man, with a suave yet mysterious smile. "You're not nearly drunk enough yet for that. I'll get your drink."

He went over to the bar. Xu, still feeling a little suspicious, found a familiar face in the crowd – indeed, another student at Garden – and waved at him. "That man over there is buying me a drink," she declared. "D'you think I should trust him?"

The student, upon recognizing her, looked rather scared. "Oh, no, it's Xu!" he exclaimed. "Squad D, withdraw!"

"Roger!" declared another student whom Xu hadn't seen; and the two of them ran out of the bar at full speed. Xu sighed. "Well, back to square one, she said to no one in particular. Frowning, she looked down at the end of her tie, holding it up to aid the process. "What do you think, Mr. Tie? Should I trust this man? After all, I am already drunk enough to be talking to my tie." At this, she giggled until the man came back.

"Something funny?" he asked, handing her a very large glass full of something alcoholic.

"You know, this tie is kind of silly," Xu replied, then gave him her full attention. "What do you want?"

"I brought you a drink," the man said.

"No," Xu said, pointing a chiding finger at him. "That does not indicate a desire. I am inquiring about your motive, in desiring...." She frowned, trying to remember what she had been talking about. "...uh, in the thing you were desiring. Why did you bring me a drink, that's what I wanna know."

"Well, I want you to drink it," drawled the man, suavely. "So drink up."

"Okay," said Xu, drinking; though she started giggling soon after. "You know something funny? I have got incredibly more drunk since the beginning of this scene, and I haven't taken a drink until now!"

"Don't be silly," said the man. "You look completely sober."

"Hmph," said Xu. "Well, we can't have that." And she took another long drink.

"No, we sure can't." The man chuckled — a dangerously sinister and not-suave chuckle that Xu was too drunk to notice. "No, indeed."

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