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C/nomad/fanfic/1388651> chaptr11.rtf

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(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail? R

"Can we get a new lawyer here?" asked Irvine.

As he spoke, their current lawyer was gleefully devouring the muzzle of Irvine's shotgun while simultaneously trying to wrestle away Squall's utility belt and Quistis' chain whip. The crowd was watching solemnly as if this were all perfectly normal.

"The accused may not ask questions!" snapped one of the zebra-striped Propagator judges.

"But our lawyer's trying to eat our stuff!" Irvine protested.

"The accused may not protest!" snapped the Propagator.

"I've had it with this," said Squall, who had been trying furiously to wipe the Geezard drool off what was left of his belts. Now he drew his gunblade. "We're busting out of here."

"Shiny!" exclaimed their lawyer, tackling Squall from the side and knocking him to the floor, also knocking the gunblade out of his hand. The gunblade's sharpened edge came down squarely on the Geezard's head, and seconds later their lawyer had vaporized away.

"The defense is presumed to have rested its case," said one of the Propagator judges. "The jury shall now render a verdict: All those who believe the defendants to be innocent, say 'ZHAGBUG-RUB-NOTA-HAFU-BAJOP-GOKY.' All those who believe the defendants to be guilty, say something else."

The room erupted into a cacophany of voices saying things other than "ZHAGBUG-RUB-NOTA-GAFU-BAJOX-GOKY." This went on for quite some time, while the SeeDs and company watched in confusion.

"Uh, 'Zaag bug-rub not a happy box of pocky?'" tried Irvine.

"Yeah, brag-zug rhubarb not my oxen saki!" Zell chimed in.

"Man, are we screwed," Seifer said.

"By final count, the guilty vote is a lot higher than the innocent vote," said a Propagator judge. "We shall now render the sentence."

"Screw that," said Seifer, drawing his gunblade. "No one renders me but nobody. Choose a party, Squall!"

Squall did. "I choose Seifer and...uh..." He frowned, as the Propagators and monsters waited patiently for him to decide. "Zell, is your GF equipped?"

Zell looked at the floor in shame. "...I kinda gave mine to Selphie before she got abducted," he admitted. "I guess she de-junctioned them for some reason, 'cause they're in the communal GF place now, plus all my magic's gone."

"Just pick someone!" snapped Seifer. "You can switch junctions later!"

"I know that!" Squall said defensively. "Fine, then. I choose Zell. Let's go!"

"You forgot to switch junctions," observed Nida.

"The accused are sentenced to death – by KILLING," boomed the two Propagator judges in tandem. "GET THEM!"

The monsters let out a collective roar and, three by three, began jumping onto the platform – which was suddenly about 20 times larger than it had been – as Squall, Seifer and Zell prepared for battle.

Rinoa fainted.

Irvine turned to the others, producing a Triple Triad deck. "So, anyone for cards?"

C-/nomad/fanfic/1388651> more

"HAH!" exclaimed Raijin. "I've got all the cards now, ya know?"

He was standing atop the very gruesomely pulverized form of a blue Propagator, with some of its entrails still dripping off his quarterstaff. And his person. The Propagator itself rested on a series of pipes that probably had something to do with the Ragnarok's function, although at the moment they led directly into the ship's cargo door. Directly below them was the spaceship's cargo hold, the middle of which now contained the bridge. Fujin had another Propagator, this one orange, trapped on the bridge elevator.

All this prompted Raijin's next words, which were, "So, uh, how do I get down from here? Looks like a long drop, ya know?"

"SHIP'S LAYOUT, CONFUSING," Fujin declared. "CHANGING. ILLOGICAL."

"Yeah, I noticed that, ya know?" said Raijin. "I mean, one minute I was in that storage room on the first floor, and I go 2 doors to the right and suddenly I'm on the second floor! What's up with that?"

Fujin shook her head. "ALWAYS LIKE THAT."

Raijin blinked. "Yeah, but...and, I mean, now I'm standing on a bunch of pipes, and the bridge is in the middle of the cargo bay! What's up with that?"

"And that's the way things will stay," said the orange, non-pulverized Propagator, "unless you start behaving in a civilized – by which I mean non-homicidal – manner!"

"Hey, what are you talking about, ya know?" Raijin demanded. "You were tryin' to kill me, and I was defending myself, ya know!"

"This vessel is legal Propagator salvage under the Pan-Galactic Trade Laws," said the Propagator. "But I wouldn't expect your limited human minds to understand such a complex and enlightened concept as Pan-Galacticness. You should, however, understand that if I don't survive, you will not leave this vessel alive."

"Yo, pretty tough talk when I've got your buddy's guts being all squishy under my foot here, ya know?" Raijin asked. Or stated. It wasn't clear.

"Do you pitiful humans' pitiful minds still not grasp your pitiful condition?" asked the Propagator. "We have reconfigured all this vessel's exits to lead somewhere completely different — you cannot even cut through the hull without emerging back inside some storage closet! You are utter victims to the power of —" it paused for effect: "our color magic!"

"Huh?" Raijin asked. "Your what magic, ya know?"

"LYING," Fujin said. "COLOR MAGIC, SILLY NAME."

"It is you pitiful humans who are the ones with stupid names!" protested the Propagator. "Because you are silly yourselves! And stupid! And pitiful!"

"Aw," said Raijin, looking despondent. "When he says it like that, it kinda makes sense, ya know? Like he's speakin' to my soul, ya know?"

Fujin glared at him. "NO. ALSO, RAGE."

"I'll show you the true power of the Pan-Galactic Propagator Authority!" declared he Propagator. Its body began to glow in a psychedelically shifting rainbow of colors. "Prepare...to suffer!"

Suddenly, Fujin and Raijin were facing off against both Propagators, with the formerly pulverized one not looking pulverized anymore. Realizing they were now in Battle Mode, both drew their weapons. Even though Raijin's had been drawn already.

"Hey!" Raijin protested. "I thought we were in totally different parts of the ship, ya —"

"Color magic!" snapped the Propagator.

"Yeah, about that, ya know?" Raijin pressed. "I thought only Propagators with the same color could revive each other, ya know? How'd you revive that guy, ya know?"

"Foolish humans!" said the second propagator. "Do you think we perceive color in the way that you do? We don't even have eyes!"

Raijin blinked. "Well, then what are those things that look like —"

"Silence!" snapped the second Propagator. "Our revival works on creatures with similar characteristics to ourselves! Obviously, that refers to the way we taste!"

"Aw, man!" Raijin said. He would have cringed, if his Battle Mode sprite could support that function. "That's gross, ya know! Besides, how is that obvious, ya know?"

"Have you seen how big our mouths are?" asked the first Propagator.

"Well, yeah, I guess, ya know," Raijin said. "But didn't you just say it was your color magic that —"

"Silence!" snapped the second Propagator.

"AGREEMENT," said Fujin. "LESS TALKING, MORE KILLING."

"Yeah!" said Raijin. "Let's get it on, ya know!"

Then Raijin cast Triple on Fujin, who cast Apocalypse on the Propagators three times. By all rights, this should have killed the Propagators and probably vaporized the Ragnarok as well, but it didn't.

Instead, they heard a mysterious voice.

"Hey, guys!" it said. "Need a hand?"

C-/nomad/fanfic/1388651> more

"This is getting out of hand," Quistis observed.

As she watched, Zell had been KO'd for the third time in the fight, and a Confused Seifer had just stabbed himself in the arm with his gunblade. And Irvine had just got his third Plus-Combo in a row.

"Wha...?" Rinoa was coming to. Quistis looked at her, feeling conflicted. Ever since she had come back, everything had been crazy. But she knew it wasn't Rinoa's fault, not really. Even the parts that seemed like they were Rinoa's fault actually just the tips of massive icebergs of murkiness and intrigue. Mostly. Quistis couldn't help but feel sorry for her.

"...You don't understand, Squall," muttered the still-dazed Rinoa. "The real reason I left was...because Qui—"

"Shut up!" Quistis lashed out and smacked Rinoa hard on the head, knocking her out again. Then she looked sheepishly at Irvine. "...She was obviously delirious. It's better that she sleep it off. I read that somewhere."

"If you say so," said Irvine.

Zell, who had been revived at some point during the last few paragraphs, was KO'd again. Squall got himself cut in half by a Grendel, but mostly shook it off and killed the Grendel by hacking it with his gunblade. Then he was stung by a Bite Bug and KO'd. The audience had begun chanting "GRAG-NAR-BLARGH!" and while Quistis still didn't know what that meant, she guessed from the context that it was bad.

"In retrospect," Irvine said, "we probably should have saved when we were back on the Ragnarok."

"It still would've been a pain to reload," said Quistis. "This trial's gone on for a really long time."

But really, she was distracted by watching the fight. Watching Seifer. As she watched him, she realized her heart was pounding. Watching him in danger made her realize feelings she hadn't known she had, and have feelings she hadn't realized she'd known. It was a veritable whirlwind of poetically vague language and emotion that she wished she would have the chance to share with him, one day. One day soon.

This would be harder to do if the Oilboyle that was currently sucking Seifer's brains out had its way. "Oh, no!" she exclaimed. "Be careful, Seifer!"

"Hey, what's with you all of a sudden?" asked Irvine. "Is there something going on between you and Sei—"

"Shut up!" Quistis lashed out and smacked Irvine hard on the head, knocking him out. Then she looked sheepishly at Nida. "He was obviously getting delirious. Rinoa probably had some kind of craziness disease, and it was becoming contagious."

"Okay," said Nida. "...Please don't hurt me."

"YO!" said a voice coming from the entrance. Quistis spun around to see Fujin and Raijin standing there. "What's goin' on here, ya know? You guys have a battle without us, ya know?"

"RESCUE," said Fujin.

"Took you guys long enough!" said Seifer, whom the Oilboyle now had in a headlock.

"Yeah, and that's not all we brought, ya know!" said Raijin.

There was a loud crashing noise, as the high dome ceiling collapsed and a royal blue spaceship that looked exactly like the Ragnarok came crashing through it. All the monsters ran away – probably more to avoid all the falling debris than to evacuate the room before all the air rushed out into space, since everyone knows monsters live on the moon and don't need to breathe anyway.

"Hey, guys!" The airship's cargo door opened to reveal a brown-haired teenage girl in a student's uniform, standing on the ramp even as it extended from the still-hovering airship, with her hands on her hips in a pose suggesting spunky heroism. "Need a ride?"

Quistis had a feeling that this girl was going to be trouble.

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