Rey watched Hux silently as he sat there at the table, face buried in his hands. She could kill him now. It would be over so swiftly, and he wouldn't even have time to react. It would all be over, and she could run, escape perhaps? Back to the Resistance? She wasn't even sure where they were, but she was good at hiding, and she was patient. If she killed him, it would be finished.
Still, she didn't move.
No, she couldn't kill him like this. He was already in so much pain simply from the altercation with his mother—step-mother?—earlier, and she would feel absolutely horrid ending his life on such a note.
Strange, because when she'd first met him she had so much pent up fury and wanted so badly to cut his throat right then and there, but she had promised Leia she would do her work and find out what had happened to Ben. Though, then she'd been quite sure she knew that Grand Marshal Armitage Hux was the one who'd killed Ben Solo.
Now, however. She wasn't sure what to think. Not that he wasn't capable of killing an enemy. No, he seemed very capable of that act. But perhaps it had been a tiny bit that Rey had wanted to believe that he'd done it, so she had someone on which to focus her anger. Hux made the perfect scapegoat. He was known to be arrogant, and he had been Kylo Ren's rival for years.
It made perfect sense to think that he had been the one to do the deed.
But after she'd gotten to know him a little, she didn't exactly feel like he had been the one to sever her Force bond. Or maybe she didn't want to believe it was him anymore.
She almost chuckled to herself because she knew she was always too eager to care about someone. Anyone showed her the smallest bit of kindness, and she bent over backward for them. Unkar Plutt had told her long ago that she was too soft. And maybe she was. But she'd almost always known when to fight and when to run. And she'd always been good at picking her fights.
Rey of Jakku was a scavenger, but she was also a Jedi. Being a Jedi meant she had a responsibility to the galaxy and to defend others, protect them, and the like. So maybe she should try protecting her husband? Perhaps he would open up more if he saw her as an ally rather than an enemy. Then she could learn what had truly happened to Ben.
It was all rather silly, really, it made her want to laugh. He was just one more cog in the wheel of the First Order that now reigned over the whole galaxy. And he was only one more thing standing in her way of freedom. Freedom for her. Freedom for the Galaxy.
She would let him live tonight, she decided. Because he could still be of use to her. Not for any other reason, of course.
Hux still sat at the table with his face in his hands, though he shook slightly, whether, from tears or anger, Rey couldn't quite tell. She would leave him to it, whatever this was. What responsibility did she have to interfere? But as Rey turned to tiptoe back into their bedroom, her foot made a gentle scraping sound against the flooring.
A flash of movement from the table and Hux was in front of her. He'd whirled and risen so quickly when Rey jumped back, momentarily frightened.
"What do you think you're doing?" He growled at her. "Were you spying on me?"
It was dark in the kitchen, but still light enough that she could make out the sharp angles of his features as he towered over her.
She didn't respond to his questions; she could barely formulate a sentence. When she didn't speak, Hux reached forward, gripping her wrist tightly.
"I said, were you spying on me?" He asked, his tone as sharp as a razor.
She shook her head, "I—I wasn't. I was just worried about you."
"Worried?" He asked, cocking his head to the side. Rey swallowed and started to pull her arm back, but at the same time, he dragged her forward and found herself right up against his chest. She felt the uneven stuttering breaths he took as he stared down at her in disbelief.
"Worried about me?" He whispered.
Though she was pressed against his chest, she managed to look up and meet his eyes. They looked odd in the light, too bright, too unfocused. He blinked down at her and licked his lips as if contemplating something.
"After everything with your mother, I was worried you were upset." She replied, voice cracking slightly under strain. She needed water, his raw emotions chilling the air around her had dried her throat.
His breathing was so rapid, and he was looking at her so enigmatically she shuddered. She could no longer read his emotions like she had a moment ago. He'd managed to swallow them all up again, leaving her unable to interpret his facial expressions or his thoughts. It made her feel incredibly helpless.
He closed his mouth, a muscle in his jaw ticking as he worked through what she'd said. He frowned and released her.
"You don't need to check on me." He muttered, crossing his arms. "I'm quite alright by myself."
This, she knew, was a lie. He had been handling things by himself until now and look at what it had cost him. He was never able to feel unless he was utterly alone. And then the emotions were so sharp and tangled, so horribly disfigured, how could anyone make sense of them? What was worse is that he'd allowed a terrible emptiness to fill him rather than experience even the slightest bit of something. It all made Rey's stomach coil painfully, but arguing with him now wouldn't help. He was already too defensive.
"Alright," she said with a nod. "But let's get back to bed, I—I really don't enjoy sleeping alone. I've done it enough." At the moment, she said it merely to make him feel needed, but as she thought about it, she had realized it was true. She'd slept alone for so long and then the Force bond, and she hadn't been alone for some time. She'd often woken to find Ben there, though he usually pretended to ignore her. For a time. Until they started speaking to each other again. Until he'd apologized and tried to make amends.
He'd been on the verge of uniting with the Resistance. He'd been so close to coming home and then—then he'd been struck down. And with it, the bond. And then Rey was alone again. The emptiness of her Force bond like a gaping wound in her heart.
She didn't want to be alone anymore.
So, she reached out and grasped Hux by the hand, startling at the warmth. He'd had his gloves on every other time she'd touched him. But now, his hands were bare. His fingers were warm, and his skin was soft, not calloused like. . . She flushed a bit at the thought of Ben.
Shaking her head, she laced her fingers between each of his own. He didn't pull out of her grip, but he let his fingers hang loosely as he allowed her to lead him back to bed. When they entered the bedroom, he let his hand fall away and drew back the covers and climbed into the bed. Rey did the same on her side, and they lay in silence next to each other for some time.
Even with the Resistance, she hadn't quite felt like she belonged. She loved them. All of them. There was nothing that could replace the friends she'd found. But still, even with that love, something was lacking. Something that made her feel indescribably different from everyone else.
You're not alone.
The words came to her unbidden, and she squeezed her eyes closed to keep the tears from falling. She didn't want to be alone. And right now, she didn't have to be, so she felt with her hand under the covers till she felt Hux.
—
Hux yelped in surprise at the feel of a hand on his chest. The hand moved, padding down his stomach, and he reached up quickly to pull her off by the wrist.
"What're you doing?" He demanded.
When she didn't immediately respond, he rolled onto his side to face her. He could barely see her in the dark, but he was able to make out the curves of her face and the glisten of her eyes as she looked at him.
She tugged her hand out of his grip and didn't look away as her hand trailed up his chest and over his shoulder. He realized finally what she was doing as her hand grazed his elbow and his forearm and then settled on his wrist.
He allowed her to splay open his palm with the tips of her fingers, and some electric current shot up his arm and into his stomach. The warmth of her skin pressing into his again made his abs contract tightly from the contact, and his breathing hitched.
Something deep inside him began to ache.
She didn't speak to him, but the pad of her thumb circled the skin on the back of his hand, and Hux felt his eyelids grow heavy.
He couldn't remember the last time he'd held someone's hand so tenderly. Had he ever held someone's hand? He wasn't sure. His thoughts drifted to Maratelle, to his real mother, and then to Rey. Had she really been worried about him?
"Did you mean what you said?" He asked into the darkness.
"What I said?"
"What you said to my mother," he paused, slightly embarrassed, "about me."
"Oh."
He couldn't see her, but he could imagine the blush, and it caused his own cheeks to heat.
"It's alright if you didn't."
He couldn't think of anything else to say. Of course, she had only been trying to get under Maratelle's skin. That had to be it. Of course, she didn't actually mean that she thought he was handsome or that he was welcome to bed her. Of course, she'd just been a bit drunk and trying to annoy his mother.
But if he were honest with himself, he didn't mind that. He might even say he liked that she'd stood up to Maratelle Hux. Even if she were lying about what she thought of him.
"I—I meant it," she whispered finally. "I just, I wouldn't have said all that if I hadn't been a bit, tipsy."
He smiled at her and squeezed her hand gently.
"Well, whether you meant it or not is really beside the point." He said. "You did something which no one but Grand Admiral Sloane has dared to do."
"Tell your mother off?" Rey asked, surprised.
He chuckled, "yes, she's horribly terrifying. No one has dared utter a word to her before."
"Well, she deserved it."
"That she did."
"Goodnight, Hux."
"Goodnight, Rey."
That night, Hux slept soundly, his hand held firmly by his wife.
—
The next day was a whirlwind. Rey awoke to a decadent breakfast Hux had ordered and then spent four hours in the training room by herself while Hux worked.
He hadn't commented on their conversation from the previous night, but he did appear to be in much better spirits. He even smiled at Rey when she exclaimed about the amount of food, though he did caution her to eat slowly, lest she develop a stomachache.
Her training consisted of complicated simulations against multiple opponents. It was grueling work, but she enjoyed it. She needed something to focus her rage on. Not to mention that she desperately needed
to determine exactly where her investigation ought to start.
Should she ask Hux about what had happened to Ben? And if she did, would he lie to her? But surely, if anyone aboard the Galactus would know what had happened to the former Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, wouldn't it be Hux?
"Excuse me, um—miss, erm, Lady uhh—Rey?"
A dark-haired squirrely looking boy—no, man—stood in the entrance to her training room. He wore the dark grey-blue uniform of a Lieutenant. She was sure she'd seen him before, back at the wedding ceremony. He'd spent almost the entirety of his time with Rose, and that had not gone unnoticed by Rey.
"Yes?"
"I was sent to inform you that you've received a holocall from your—uhh, your friends."
"Really?!" Rey exclaimed. "Where can I take it?"
"In your quarters, I believe, would be the best place," the Lieutenant offered shyly. "I'm here to escort you."
"Escort me?"
"Yes, and um, I'm to be present while you take the call."
"Why?"
"Orders," the officer shrugged, "from the Grand Marshall."
Rey frowned. They were having her calls monitored. Couldn't they just record them automatically? Why would they need an actual officer present? She didn't like this one bit.
"What's your name again?" Rey asked.
"Mitaka," he replied. "Dopheld Mitaka."
Rey nodded but didn't reply.
Back in her quarters, Lt. Mitaka opened up the frequency channel for her, letting her take the call in Hux's office as he wasn't back yet.
When the bright blue image sprang out of the desk holoprojector, Rey grinned. Connix and Rose came into view, instantly.
"Rey!" They cried in unison.
"Hi!" Rey smiled brightly. She'd missed them so much, even in just a few days. "Where are you both? How're you being treated? What exactly has the Emperor done with all of you?"
"Woah, slow down," Kaydel said, putting a hand up. "We want to know about you first."
"Yeah," Rose said, leaning in. "Isn't he horrible? Has he hurt you? Oh, hi, Mitaka!"
Mitaka blushed bright crimson and gave a weak smile and a smaller, even weaker wave from his place behind the desk.
"Hello commander Tico," he said quietly, his voice a hoarse whisper.
"Commander Tico. . ." Kaydal said, mimicking Mitaka's tone, her mouth half-open as she eyed her friend. "The image may be blue, but I can still see your little friend over there blushing."
Rose gave Kaydel a glare. "Anyway, tell us everything!" She exclaimed, turning her attention back to Rey.
"Yeah, like, has he made you, ya know?" Kaydel interrupted again, giving Rey a meaningful look.
Mitaka coughed and looked away.
"Okay, well," Rey started. "I'll just be quick about everything. We had a second reception. I met his stepmother, she's awful. She only had nasty things to say, and Hux hasn't made me do anything. He's actually been a gentleman, quite sweet and thoughtful."
"Sweet and thoughtful!?" Rose cried flabbergasted. "That doesn't sound like him as all. He probably just wants something from you."
"I know what he wants," Kaydel snorted.
"He's a First Order creep," Rose interjected. "Of course, that's what he wants. Oh, sorry, Mitaka, no offense."
"None taken," Mitaka croaked, obviously pained.
"Look, he really is trying," Rey argued. "He's done so much for me."
"Did he destroy a star system for you?" Kaydel said unimpressed.
Rey grimaced, "Yes, I understand he's complicit in it. But he's also—"
"Rey," Rose said sadly, "he's trying to manipulate you. He's not a good guy."
"I know, I just—he's quite different than I thought he would be."
"Different how?" Kaydel asked.
"Just different." Rey sighed. "More vulnerable. More thoughtful."
"Okay, what's he feeding you? Are you sure he hasn't given you anything?" Rose puzzled.
"I'm fine," Rey replied, feeling more irritation than she thought possible. "I'm just—tired."
It was a bland excuse and one that wasn't true. She'd slept better last night than she had in years. In that soft, warm bed with Hux's equally soft, warm fingers laced through her own. There was something incredibly intimate about it, and for a moment last night, she had considered planting a kiss on his cheek just for good measure. But she'd chickened out.
Kaydel frowned at her, "look, we're just worried about you. And everything we've ever heard about him is bad, so we're concerned, okay?"
"I know," Rey replied begrudgingly. They were right. She really had no reason to trust him and even less to like him.
"So—uh we've been relocated to Tracoltys Minor, and they are having us go through some integration program, it's not like stormtrooper brainwashing. But it's way too many propaganda videos about all the supposed good the First Order has done for the galaxy," Rose said when Rey didn't offer any further information.
"We're all getting new job placements, some people are being returned to their home planets. . . Others, well, you know, General Organa doesn't have a home planet. But she's been kept on as a political advisor—can you believe that? The First Order is going to take advice from Leia Organa!" Kaydel said excitedly. "I'm trying not to be too hopeful, but still. It's a big step, I think."
"That's wonderful news!" Rey offered happily. She was glad that Leia would be helping with the political needs of the galaxy. Leia deserved to be in a place where she could help others. "What about you two?"
"Us?" Rose said in confusion. "I mean, he didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
"We've been assigned to the Galactus we'll be sent out to you as soon as our integration is complete!" Kaydel said.
"What?! You're coming here?"
"Yep," Rose replied with a grin. "A week or so? Maybe?"
"It'll be wonderful to have you here, Commander Tico," Mitaka said shyly, making Rey jump. She had completely forgotten he was even in the room.
Rose smiled widely and then turned to look at Kaydel, who gave her a disapproving purse of her lips.
"Anyway," Kaydel interjected. "How are you keeping busy?"
Rey leaned back in the chair, thinking. This was a code, something they'd worked out prior. In case Rey needed to get out or if she felt there were threats to the remaining Resistance members.
Rey sighed, "Training has been grueling—I'm still searching for answers. But the First Order has been most gracious—So far, I've found no reason to worry, for now, we're safe."
Rose gave a little approving nod and smiled. "We can't wait to see you, Rey. And I look forward to seeing you again, Lt." She said towards Mitaka.
Mitaka gave a half-smile as he looked down and chewed his bottom lip. He was blushing again, and Rey felt certain that she was missing something.
"Miss you, Rey," Kaydel said, though she was looking from Mitaka to Rose. "Keep us informed, okay? And don't be afraid to holocall us!"
"I won't," Rey said with a smile. The images flickered and then went out. Rey turned to look at the crimson faced Lt. "What's going on with you and Rose?"
His eyes widened for a fraction of a second. "Nothing, nothing at all. I assure you! I just believe she's a fascinating and intelligent woman—"
"Who is?" Hux asked from the doorway.
"Sir!" Mitaka exclaimed. "No one, I apologize—I should take my leave, sir, if you permit." He began edging towards the door nervously.
Rey almost laughed at him, then remembered she was upset with them. The First Order AND Hux. Upset that they were monitoring her calls so obviously. She'd expected them to watch her communication but not so blatantly. It was downright insulting!
"You may be dismissed, Lt." Hux nodded and stepped aside to allow Mitaka to leave, then he turned to Rey. Something like the beginning of a fond smile creeping across his features until he saw the frown on her face.
"Everything alright?" He inquired.
"It's fine," Rey replied, rising from the desk and brushing past him into the dining area. She was mad at him for treating her like an idiot, and she wasn't going to give him any special treatment today. Rose and Connix had been right. He had been manipulating her, and she wasn't going to fall for his tricks any longer. She trudged past the dining room, and Hux followed her, concerned.
"Your friends are doing well?"
"Yes," she said tersely as she entered the kitchen and began rifling through the cabinets for something to eat. She was always hungry, especially after such a long training session.
Hux stared after her, confused. She seemed upset. But she'd said she was fine, so he pressed on. "Well, if you're alright, I—I have some news."
"Oh?" She replied, not looking at him. "What news?"
"Well, I'm being sent on a diplomatic mission, for which the Emperor has determined you ought to accompany me. After which, we shall head to our honeymoon."
Rey still didn't look at him. But she leaned towards the counter and rested her hands on the cool tile of countertops. Hux bristled. He'd seen this posture before, Ren had done it time and again before he lashed out. So he braced himself for a fight.
"What's the diplomatic mission?" she asked instead.
"Negotiations with the Hutt's for trade routes and land usage," Hux said dismissively. "Are you sure you're alright?"
It would be the last time he asked. If she didn't want to tell him why she was angry, then what could he do? He wouldn't waste his time trying to find out. It wasn't his problem. And besides, if he asked too many times, he was confident that would make the problem worse.
"I said, I'm fine," she growled, finally looking at him. "But, I would like to know what you're so insulting to me?"
"Insulting?" He blanched. What had he done today but be cordial? "What do you mean?"
She glared at him, "you're really going to pretend like you don't know?"
His jaw clenched teeth grinding against each other as he narrowed his eyes at her. "How could I have any idea what's upset you today? You seem perpetually ready for a fight. And you seem to seek out a fight when one doesn't present itself!"
He hadn't yelled, but from the startled and hurt expression on her face, he may as well have. Her face went ashen, and something like tears prickled in the corners of her eyes.
"I AM NOT looking for a fight!" She almost screamed. "If you had any idea how tired I am of fighting. I've always had to fight. I wouldn't be alive today if I didn't fight. But of course, you wouldn't understand that you grew up like this, with all the food you could ever want!" She slammed her fist down on the counter.
"You met my mother, and you think you know everything about me?" He replied, struggling to maintain his composure. "You have no idea what my childhood was like. You—continue to be insulted only because I speak the truth."
Rey's eyes darted up to his and then back down, "whatever, fine, I don't know anything about you, and you don't know anything about me! Let's just keep it that way!"
She pushed past him forcefully and headed towards the lift, her heart pounding in her chest. He was so stupid, so so frustratingly stupid. Did he really not understand that she felt duped? She'd fallen for his act and realized how wrong she'd been. He wasn't kind or sweet or thoughtful like she'd thought. He was just doing all this to win her over, to change her mind, and to drive a wedge between her and her friends.
"Where are you going?" He called after her.
"Training," she shot back, dashing to the lift without looking back.
And then she was gone.