AN: This is not my first fic, it's just first that has been published in english. Feel free to comment me about any mistakes, suggestions, anything.I wanna improve my writing. I hope you all review, it means much to me. Thanks to Niina ( RyRissaLover ) for her help and for...being a friend. (:

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Lighting Candles

It was not that Summer didn't love Seth. Oh no, that was definetly not the case.

It was just that he had been gone for years already.

Maybe it was time for her to move on?

Hell no. How could she move on from the love of her life?

It was just that he had been six feet under for twenty years already.

Summer and Marissa were lying in the sun, listening the radio and talking every once in a while. It was nice to do things like this together every once in a while, they didn't see each other nearly as much as they would have wanted, so they were just enjoying each others company. It was just that they both had their lifes. Pretty different kinds of lifes. Summer spent nearly all of her time with Seth, he had proposed her last christmas. The wedding was to be in next year, though the exact date was still open.

Marissa, on the other hand, was busy trying to drink the world out of vodka before the end of the summer. She was making pretty good procress on that area.

Ryan and Marissa...Let me laugh. They were never a match in the first place. It was just too much drama for human brains to handle.

Anyway, they were still friends, and had been for so long time that they somehow couldn't just not be, even if they were in totally different situation of life.

So, now they were listening the radio, instead of each other, because what would they have to say to each other?

Seth was Summer's world and Vodka was Marissa's. Not that much common, huh?

Summer looked the water and thought Seth. Her Seth. He was buying new comics, that actually was the reason why Summer was with Marissa in the first place. They were close, very close, but Hell, not that close!

She missed him already.

She was almost asleep when her cell started ringing. She answered it, without knowing that that one phonecall would change her life totally.

"Summer."

"It's Ryan... Listen Summer...There was an accident..."

Now Summer was fully awake.

"What!"

"Seth...Seth's dead. He got hit by a car and died immediatly."

So that was the story. That was why she was lighting candles.

She did that every June 5th.

She then thought of him, not like she didn't too that other times. In fact, that was pretty much what she had been doing the first years after...it. She had gotten a job, yes, but she had no passion for it, it was just simply something that had to be done for living.

Ten, fifteen, or something like that, years ago she had started living again. Not fully, sometimes she thought she probably never would, but somehow... You know, going out every once in a while, shopping properly, having caffe lattees with friends...

And then, having a crush on a guy.

First she didn't even recognize that feeling. It had been so long she had felt anything other than sorrow.Much less a crush.

Eventually he had returned the feelings and they had started awkwardly going out.

And now, ten or fifteen years later, he had proposed her.

She had asked for time.

It was June 1st then.

And now, she didn't know what to do. Sure, she loved Jake, but not like Seth. Never like Seth. She and Jake were living like a married couple, sure, but an amen would make it official.

She had moved on.

And that's what scared her.

She was scared that, somehow, she would betray Seth by marrying Jake. Betraying him because she and Jake would be somehow more "serious" than they had been.

Like that could be measured by an amen.

But, what would she do?

What should she do?

She thought about it for a long time. For hours,for days, who knows? And eventually she remembered a scene. They couldn't have been more than seventeen.

They had done an essay for school about Romeo and Juliet. They had talked about how Juliet had only been fourteen years old. Earlier they would have laughed, what would they know about love at that age?

They weren't laughing anymore.

"Promise me", Seth had said. Suddenly with a serious face. "That if something happens to me, you wont pull a trick like they did. You will continue living, no matter how depressed you are. Do that for me."

And she had promised.

That made it.

She was going to live again. Sure, she would never get over him, even if she wanted to.

And she didn't.

But she could live again.