A Galaxy is Not Enough

Chapter 12: Denial and Lace

Rey awoke the following day feeling even more groggy and bleary-eyed than she had the previous afternoon. Hux was already gone, and his spot on the bed was cold. She sat up stiffly and stretched her arms and neck. Still draped in Hux's other black robe, she pulled it tighter around herself as she looked around.

Another of Hux's black robes —the one he'd worn yesterday— was draped over the chair in the corner of the room.

It brought about a painful sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She'd been so foolish yesterday in so many ways. First getting caught while on her mission to discover what had happened to Ben and then lashing out in her sleep.

And then there was the kiss.

Her stomach lurched uncomfortably as she recalled the way in which Hux had recoiled from her. Perhaps she hadn't done it right, and that was why he pulled away so suddenly. Or . . . Or maybe she had crossed a line, an imaginary boundary in their relationship.

Maybe he didn't want her like that. Maybe he never would.

Sinking self-doubt flooded her. She was usually so self-assured because she had to be. On Jakku, there was no room for error. Survival was key. She had to pay attention to notice everything in order to survive. Here too, this den of vipers, well, it ought to keep her focused and sharp. Instead, it made her feel soft and vulnerable, especially where her new husband was concerned.

The husband who didn't want her.

The thought hurt immensely. She was so tired. Tired of feeling like she didn't belong anywhere. Tired of searching for where she did belong.

For a brief moment, she had allowed herself to believe that she could possibly —maybe— have something here. A place as Hux's wife didn't exactly sound ideal, but it did offer her something she'd never had before.

Someone —someone to call her own.

She let out a shaky breath. Ben, she always came back to Ben. She always drifted back to him when she thought about the future. When she thought about the possibility of a relationship, it was Ben that she had pictured.

If Ben had only —well, if he'd only returned —if he'd chosen sooner before it was too late. They could've—they could've been. . .

The lump in her throat made it difficult to swallow. Her eyes felt heavy and wet. She didn't want to cry now. She'd already done so much crying. And how would that help her? She needed so badly to find a way to move on, to move forward.

Was there a way she could do that while still holding Ben in her heart? She wasn't sure. Was she betraying Ben by allowing these strange feelings for Hux to grow?

Hux's warm fingers entwined with her own had let her sleep so peacefully and brought about the idea of a future. Of something. And whatever it was that had blossomed well, it wanted more.

For some reason, the image of Hux on top of her, his fingers tightening on her neck, swam before her eyes and made her cheeks heat. The feel of his thighs and his lips and—she blushed feverishly.

She needed to get out of bed even if she didn't want to. She supposed she ought to see Hux.

He would be in his uniform and most likely at his desk in the office. It took some effort to drag herself out of bed and into the closet, where she paid little attention to the clothing, grabbing whatever was nearest.

Finally dressed in dark brown leggings and a fitted beige bodysuit. The bodysuit was like nothing she'd seen before. It was one piece and practically see-through, but it was so pretty. In the hygiene room, she glanced at herself in the mirror and pulled her long hair up and into a half-bun. Then she studied her reflection. She felt foolish after the events of the previous night, not to mention her horrible experience in that room with Ben's lightsaber. But she was unsettled as the face that greeted her in the mirror was hardly recognizable.

It wasn't that she looked more refreshed or that she had gained weight because she really hadn't. It was the fact that she looked so much older. She looked like a woman, not the nineteen-year-old girl that had left Jakku all those years ago. Her hair was much longer, her skin lighter, less tanned but glowing. Leaving the Jakku sun had faded the hue of her skin and made her freckles much more noticeable.

She glanced at the beige tank top. It was beautiful, form-fitting, and made of lace. A pattern of swirls and cutouts around her breasts made them look ample. It was so pretty she just—she wished she'd been able to wear something like this with—well, maybe in something like this, Ben would've defected from the First Order, and he would still be alive.

But then, who knows.

It wouldn't do to live in the past. She had a future now. A husband too. One who didn't want her, but still, maybe she wanted him?

She sighed and left the fresher.

The kitchen and the sitting room were both empty, as Rey had expected. But when she found the office empty as well, she was at a loss. She wanted to speak with Hux, and she wasn't in the mood for training. Hux had also promised to tell her about Ben. After the rejection of last night, Rey now felt entitled to the explanation.

So she made her way to the bridge, though she got lost two or three times before she found it. It was such a large vessel she managed to get turned around a few times. She finally asked a group of stormtroopers for directions. She was met with blank stares and awkward stuttering until one trooper mumbled out a confused response and pointed her down another hallway.

When at last she arrived on the bridge, she spotted Hux immediately. He was dressed in his white and black uniform, and his hair a bright contrast to the stark blues and blacks of his crew. Hux was engaged in conversation with a General and a Captain as they surveyed the transparisteel viewport.

Rey watched him as he worked. She didn't move, and she didn't speak, simply eyed him studiously as he labored. Hux moved purposefully around the bridge, tapping a lieutenant on the shoulder and giving a command as he made his way across the room. He had a presence, and he carried himself in a way that made Rey feel strangely warm. He was so sure of himself, and it seemed that every stop he made around the room was intentional.

In fact, many of his lieutenants also followed him about the room with their gaze, which oddly left Rey feeling somewhat smug.

Hux didn't notice her right away, not until several officers had turned to look at her. Then suddenly, she felt a heavy tension fall upon the bridge.

He looked at her from across the room, mouth half-open in surprise as if this was the last place he expected to find her. He wasted no time in crossing the bridge till they were only an arm's length apart.

"My dear," he said. His voice sounded low and hoarse, "what brings you here? Is there something you need?"

Rey hesitated. He'd called her dear, and on top of that, everyone had stopped their conversations and was looking at them. Her cheeks burned, and she felt a strange warmth spreading in her stomach. Hux's eyes dipped over her, and she felt her heartbeat faster for a moment as he reached out and took her hand in his own. His lips pursed before the muscle in his jaw ticked slightly, and he bit his lip, appraising her again.

He drew her a bit closer and leaned in to whisper in her ear, "I don't mean to alarm you, you look lovely, but I don't believe that is a shirt. It's a form of um— negligee or undergarment, and the bridge might find it a bit—distracting."

"What do you mean?" She said, her throat dry and voice barely above a whisper.

Hux let out a long-suffering sigh though she sensed a bit of humor in it, "I believe that is um—lingerie? I um- I was told I should, that you should have some—I wasn't suggesting you wear it for me in public."

—

Hux's ears had gone a deep red, and for some reason, he felt rather hot, but he couldn't help the chuckle.

Rey looked absolutely stunning, and though that wasn't unusual, it was . . . troubling. One didn't normally wear undergarments to the bridge as it might pull the focus away from their mission. Hux understood the importance of uniformity within the First Order. This would most definitely cause an issue. Even if he believed she was well-intentioned, she was also most certainly naïve.

Had she looked at herself before she'd come?

It didn't really matter. She was here now, and he had no intention of embarrassing her. She shouldn't be burdened with all of the First Order regulations.

Keeping the wry smile at bay, he squeezed her hand reassuringly.

"Did you come to see how we operate?" He asked quietly. "Is everything alright? You're most welcome here any time."

Rey only nodded slowly and then seemed to catch herself, obviously thrown off by the attention of all the First Order staff.

"No, I uh—I was hoping to speak with you? You promised to tell me about what happened to B—Kylo Ren." She said it in a whisper, but Hux still looked around cautiously when she spoke the former Supreme Leader's name.

"Of course," he replied, still quiet but now hesitant. "Once I'm finished with my work, I believe we can sit down and speak candidly."

Then he turned, looking out towards his loyal soldiers, his grip tightening on her hand as he led her forward.

"Attention, please," he said firmly, always the gentleman. "Many of you have already heard or attended our reception. However, I am pleased to introduce you to my beautiful wife. This is lady Rey, formerly of Jakku, now the wife of your Grand Marshal. Please provide her with every respect you show me, and do not hesitate to make her feel welcome aboard the Galactus."

While he spoke, Hux raised her hand up in some indication of her status and then lowered it, bringing her close against his side as he wrapped an arm around her hip and bent to gently kiss her head.

One of the Lieutenants frowned slightly, and another was beaming so obviously Hux felt the need to clear his throat.

"My dear? Anything you'd like to say?" He asked, turning to Rey with a raised brow.

"Oh, um, yes," Rey replied reluctantly. She nodded to the crew and flashed a dazzling smile, " Thank you all so much for your support and assistance, and thank you for making me feel so at home already."

Hux nodded in satisfaction and gestured back to the viewport, "that being said, let's all get back to it. We have work to do."

Immediately the bridge was a bustle of excitement again as the troops returned to their previous attention, and Rey seemed to fade into the background. Though she is thankful for the distraction, she still felt the heat of her cheeks. Hux sniffed and cleared his throat, letting go of her hand in the same motion, and then he turned back to her. His eyes dipped to the lace of her tank top, and he swallowed thickly.

Now that everyone was distracted, the façade seemed to fade, and Hux blinked slowly before he met her gaze.

"Please do not mention the name of Kylo Ren in front of my troops again," His voice came out clipped, annoyed, and somewhat tense. "The Emperor may find it distasteful."

"And what about you?" Rey spits back, now equally frustrated. "Do you hate to hear his name too?"

Hux froze, the sound of the bridge drowning out the swish of his long coat as he turned toward her.

"Do you really want to know the truth?" His voice was a low and deadly rumble as he stalked back and towered over her.

She straightened up, glaring at him slightly but trying to still look as casual as she could to the observer. She mustn't make a scene. She must simply get what she came for. Besides, who cares if her arrogant husband doesn't want her? Right now, with his terrible attitude, she isn't inclined to like him either.

"Yes," she said confidently.

He licked his lips as he looked down on her, his hands behind his back.

"Kylo Ren nearly destroyed everything for me. He almost obliterated the First Order. He took everything I worked for, everything I strived to create. I am happy he's dead."

It felt like a slap to the face; Rey's blood ran cold. Though he'd told her that he had nothing to do with Ben's death, this confession felt as close to an admission of guilt as she was likely to get. Hux must've had a hand in Ben's death, and even if he said he didn't, could Rey honestly believe him? Could she even want him now? Someone so open to admitting his hatred of the only person she'd ever truly loved? He had told her he wasn't involved. And she believed him – until now.

Surely, he had something to do with Ben's death?

She didn't reply. Instead, she shook her head, trying to keep the overwhelming emotions from spilling out.

Hux let out a shaky breath and looked down at the floor. He wouldn't meet her eyes. He must've known how he sounded.

"Go take a seat in my office, and I'll be there once I've finished up here. Then we can talk."

That was it; he whirled around and marched off to the Captain and began an immediate discussion without so much as a backward glance at Rey.

Rey tried to look nonchalant as she left the bridge, walking slowly and determinedly, without giving her husband another look. Her heart felt impossibly pained after this revelation. It was not that she didn't know Hux had hated Ben. It was that she hadn't expected him to admit it with such vitriol, to exclaim with such disgust what he thought of Ben's death. And just as she had been starting to consider that an actual relationship with Hux might be possible.

Once she found Hux's office adjacent to the bridge entrance, she paced about the room in a fury. She was angry and hurt and sorrowful, and all she wanted was to take her lightsaber, ignite it, and cut slashes into the large desk. She wanted to punish Hux to make him feel the way she felt. To make him understand why it felt that her heart had been cut in two when Ben died. But Hux would never know the power of a Force bond.

What was it about him? How could he infuriate her so? Why should she even care what he thought?

Hux went about his work with little focus. Rey had shifted all his attention away from his duties. His thoughts wandered back to her incessantly.

That lacy piece of clothing that he'd selected because he'd been told he should—that every woman wanted something that looks like that. But he hadn't expected her to wear it to the bridge.

Truthfully, he hadn't expected her to wear anything he'd purchased for her. Least of all, the lingerie. It was a bit… it made his stomach coil pleasantly. Because she'd still left so much to the imagination, and his mind ran rampant with that knowledge.

Of course, he was a bit upset that she had mentioned Kylo Ren's name. He didn't want the Emperor to get wind of this whole affair, and her interest in Ren was simply unhealthy.

Ren was gone. She ought to feel safe. Hux would protect her.

When he could no longer focus on the work he ought to do, he excused himself from the bridge and made his way to his office.

She was there, in his office. Seated in his chair. And she looked furious.

Hux stormed into his office, head held high and looking as arrogant as a parading peacock. But he took a step back when he saw her. She was seated in his chair, her legs crossed and hands folded on her knee.

Her husband eyed her suspiciously, his eyes catching on each of her curves before he grimaced and seemed to snap back to attention.

"Comfortable?"

Rey didn't smile at his cheekiness; instead, she straightened in the seat and scowled back at him.

"It's time to talk," she said slowly, trying her best to sound confident.

"Yes," Hux conceded, making his way around the desk to sit on the edge to her left. He made a show of removing one glove and then the other and folding them, setting them down on the desk before Rey.

The intention was clear. She should not get too comfortable; this was his office.

"I think," he said, taking his time with each word, allowing them to roll off his tongue, "we ought to be transparent about what this is."

"What what is?" Rey asked, suddenly confused.

"What we are," Hux said. "What this is and our expectations of each other."

"I thought that was the point of the contract?" She said, now even more befuddled.

"The contract is a stipulation of the Emperor's," Hux replied, somewhat exasperatedly. "We ought to establish our own expectations for our—for this relationship."

"But first," Rey said quickly, "I want to know the truth. I want to know what happened to Ben. All of it. No more lies. No more distractions. Tell me everything." She was shaking, trying to keep her hands steady, so she unclasped them and clutched the armrests of her seat firmly.

Hux looked down at her from his perch on the desk, studying her curiously.

"Did he hurt you?"

"Who?"

"Ren. Did he hurt you?" Hux leaned forward, resting a reassuring palm on her white-knuckled hand, which was squeezing the armrest. "Back when you were brought on board the Finalizer. Back then, when he interrogated you. Did he hurt you?"

Rey blinked up at Hux, her eyes wide, frightened, and near tears.

"Yes," she replied, looking him straight in the eyes. "He did."

Hux seemed to relax a fraction, his hand still gently resting on hers.

"But that's not all, is it?"

Rey looked away and took a deep breath.

"What does this have to do with anything?" She asked, annoyed.

"It has to do with us. I need to know. You need to trust me. I told you I would protect you," Hux said softly. "He's gone. He's dead. And even if he wasn't, I would never let anyone hurt you."

Rey snorted, disbelieving. "You barely even know me. You just think of me as your property because we're married. But you hardly know anything about me."

Hux gave her an oddly chastising look and cocked his head to the side, a muscle ticking in his cheek before he let out a sigh.

"You're right," he said wearily.

"I am?" She looked up at him, brows raised.

"I suppose I look at everything that way," he said softly. "A contract protects the purchase of property, and a marriage contract is something like that as well."

He went silent, shifting uncomfortably on his desk. He moved his hand away. Suppose they could get to know each other a bit? Suppose she wouldn't hate what she saw in him? He could hope, and he could suppose, but he doubted she would like what she found beneath his Grand Marshall's façade.

He didn't like it very much himself.

And what about what he'd find under the layers of her tough exterior? Would he find someone with whom he could feel—something? Safe?

He shook his head and leaned forward, his hands gripping the edge of the desk as he spoke, "I apologize if I gave you the impression that I only view you as property. I—I'm not exactly sure how else I ought to view marriage. I haven't had much guidance in this—area and —."

Rey huffed and leaned back in the chair, away from him.

"I didn't have the best example of marital bliss. You met my mother."

It sounded like an excuse, if only because it was. At least partially. He'd seen other marriages that appeared happy. Not just within the First Order but on Arkanis. His grandparents for instance—he pursed his lips. He hadn't thought about them in years.

"Maratelle Hux isn't your mother," Rey replied tightly. "But you won't even talk to me about that. You just shut down, and every topic is off the table for conversation if it makes you feel the slightest bit upset."

Hux blinked, staring down at her with an odd mixture of disbelief and admiration. She was right. He'd ultimately refused to let her know anything about him, and in turn, she was cold and cagey.

"I'm not your property," she continued. "I can do what I want. The only reason I agreed to this marriage is to keep my friends safe. But, what about you? Why did you agree to this?"

They'd shifted from talking about Kylo Ren and their relationship to actually—just talking. It was a strange change but not unwelcome. Hux straightened; he'd tell her the truth. That was a reasonable basis for a relationship. If he were honest with himself, he did want some form of a happy marriage. Besides, the Emperor had told him to woo her, and he would. He would try.

Yes, he'd start with the truth.

"I didn't want to get married," he whispered, "I fought against this. I don't think marriage is an institution one should enter into lightly. It can have severe consequences. But we are married now, and we ought to deal with that. If you want your friends to remain safe and all."

He said the last part to show her that he had listened. It was merely a reminder that she had done it for a reason. But she glowered at him when he said it.

"Is that a threat?" She asked. "If I don't do what you want, then my friends will get hurt?"

"That isn't what I meant," his words came out rough and hoarse. "I have no intention of threatening you or forcing you to do —things for me."

She looked away, back down at the armrests of the chair, her knuckles still white as she grasped them.

"I don't know if I can trust anything you say," she murmured.

"Have I not kept my word thus far?" Hux asked. "I could have engaged in—in relations with you on our wedding night, I could have forced myself on you at any time since then. But I don't like the idea of an unwilling partner, to put it mildly."

"And when I was willing," Rey said, her cheeks a bright crimson now, "you pushed me away. So, just tell me, what do you want from me?"

Hux frowned; standing suddenly, he paced around the desk, hands clasped behind his back.

"We have to fulfill all of the aspects of the contract at some point," Rey said. "And I know you're the kind of person who honors a contract. So, what is it?"

When Hux finally did speak, his voice was a low rumble, "I've never—I've never. . ."

He couldn't quite get the words out. It might sound foolish to her that a man of some ten or fifteen years her senior had never done—that. Even thinking the word made his cheeks heat and his ears turn scarlet.

She just studied him, waiting for him to spit it out.

"Never what?" She asked finally when he didn't continue.

His shoulders slumped slightly. This was so embarrassing.

"I've never been with anyone," he whispered. "Intimately, I mean. And I'm not exactly thrilled that my first experience should be with someone who's unwilling."

"Oh," Rey replied. It was all she could think to say at the moment. She'd never expected this. She tried to lean into the Force to discern if Hux was actually telling her the truth, but he'd put up that mental shield, and she was unable to read him.

"Is that all?"

"I—what do you want me to say?" She asked.

"I don't know," Hux sighed, turning to face her now. He let out something that sounded like a laugh. "I don't like feeling inadequate—and my lack of experience in this arena—well, I suppose it's only fair you should know."

Rey bit her lip and seemed to consider his words for a moment before she spoke.

"Well, I've never been with anyone either." She said finally, meeting Hux's eyes with a gentleness he hadn't seen before. "There was —someone—before that I—well, I thought there was someone. But that's over now."

Hux watched her, his eyes narrowed but his face impassive. He wanted to ask her who, who it was that she had cared for. He wasn't jealous. Though something like a wave of burning anger rose inside him at the thought of Rey with someone else. He wanted to know, perhaps so he could see how he matched up.

But he didn't ask. He couldn't bring himself to sound so pathetic.

There had been no one before her. In fact, he'd never even really considered having a relationship with someone.

"Now," Rey said, suddenly seeming determined, "tell me what happened to Ben."

It only took Hux a moment before he felt his stomach twist unpleasantly and something cold flood his veins. His throat tightened, and he saw the way she looked, her eyes moist and face flushed.

He realized at that moment who the someone was that Rey had loved.