When she thinks about her life she always, unconsciously divides it into four parts. Before Elliot Stabler. With Elliot Stabler as her partner. After Elliot Stabler. And, as of lately, this new "with Elliot" –just Elliot- era of her life where he isn't her partner and neither her friend but still manages somehow to be everything.

She almost calls herself stupid out loud as soon as she steps out on his little garden without her coat but she'll be damned if she steps back inside to grab it and also draw attention to the fact that her former partner asked her to follow him outside to show her the Christmas lights he put up.

As if they didn't all pretend not to notice, her son included, when they both awkwardly stood up and Elliot announced the reason they were going outside, after whispering in her ear to follow him because he wanted to show her something. He could've very well told them they wanted to be alone with the stupidly soft tone of his voice.

But really the garden is beautiful and for a moment she forgets the cold as she looks around but then he's moving and goosebumps spread all over her body and she closes her eyes for a second as she tells herself it's from the cold December air and not form the way he grabbed her hand in his.

He's walking and she's behind him and after a bit he stops and turns around to face her and when he doesn't let go of her hand but tightens his hold momentarily, she instinctively does the same and it's so new and so familiar at the same time that she feels her throat clog with emotion and she swallows thickly but her stupid tears instead of disappearing they flood her eyes and she doesn't want to ruin the moment and turns her head and finally notices that they're standing on the far left of his garden and no one can see them from inside the house and she wants to laugh because he really did want her alone for a minute.

"I like your shirt," he says and his voice is so soft and she finally looks at him and smiles as if she didn't dress for him to notice her. As if she didn't leave her coat inside with the hope of him wrapping his arms around her to protect her from the cold.

"That's my line," she says because frankly, she can't help the images of them in another complicated life flooding her head, and even though he laughs a little and his dimples show she can see his eyes glistening with tears at the thought of their partnership.

She can't stop staring at him even as he tilts his head back and looks at the sky but when she hears the mischievous "Oh" he says, she looks up herself, and there it is - a fucking mistletoe- and she can't help the blush creeping all the way from her chest to her face.

"You know it's bad luck," he laughs softly and the hope in his eyes makes her knees weak and her heart beats faster as if she's not been on the verge of a heart attack since he came back.

"Did you organize this crime, Detective?"

"I'm innocent, Captain." But the impish smile on his face tells her otherwise. She laughs then and it's shaky, half from the cold and half from the emotions running rampage on her body and he notices and his hand once wrapped around her fingers is now along with his other on her biceps and he doesn't wait for her answer when he asks her is she's cold, before pulling her against his hot hard body.

Her breaths are faster now and her breasts are pushed against his chest and really she can't fucking think clearly as her forehead is resting against his shoulder and one of his arms is now around her waist while the other is between her shoulder blades, his fingers burning her skin through the thin material of her silk shirt.

For a moment she thinks it might be better if she lifts her head to look at him but really she realizes her mistake when she does and the primal look in his eyes makes her breath catch in her throat and her lips part and her fingers clutch at the fabric of his shirt at his sides that she doesn't remember touching in the first place.

His eyes drop to her lips when she unintentionally licks them and she feels her own do the same before closing them at the feeling of his forehead coming to rest against hers.

"God, Liv, let me kiss you." His voice is low and rough and she once again licks her lips when his breath hits them because the need to taste him is overwhelming her. He pulls back his forehead no longer touching hers but his hot breaths still burning her lips and then she hears herself whispering his name, "Elliot" and it almost sounds like begging and then his lips are hovering over hers and she tastes her own name on her lips when he whispers it back at her.

"Olivia."

And nothing has felt or sounded better than his lips ghosting over hers saying her name. But then his lips brush lightly against hers and she reconsiders. She feels the disappointment fill her body the moment he pulls back but it's short-lived because she opens her eyes and he's never stood so close to her and she's never seen his blue eyes so dark, so filled with lust.

And then his hands are moving and they are now cupping her neck and they are both rough and gentle against her skin and she wants to scream at the absurdity of her thought the moment he pulls her face and his lips descend on her roughly, his teeth clashing with hers.

And it's when she hears him groan that she realizes she's pushing herself tightly against him, his hard cock now pressing against her, her pebbled nipples poking at his chest through her shirt and lace bra, her hands no longer on his shirt, but now holding his face.

It's her turn to moan as she bites on his lips and his fingers slip through her hair and his fist closes when her tongue brushes against his -bruised from her teeth- lips and then slides inside his hot mouth to brush against his.

And she finally tastes him for the first time and she would cry and laugh at the same if she wasn't kissing him because he tastes like Elliot and like something that belongs to her and she realizes that's because he is hers and always has been.

She feels lightheaded but she doesn't want to stop and take a breath because he is now sucking on her bottom lip and tilting her head to deepen the kiss even more and frankly there's no better way to go than kissing Elliot Stabler.

She feels his phone vibrate in his front pocket and it's probably for the best because she doesn't want to scar her kid for life if he comes looking for her.

She's sucking on his lip as he starts to pull away from her and there's a thread of saliva still connecting them when he finally does.

"Gonna answer that?" She almost doesn't recognize her own voice.

"I need a minute," he says and his voice is the hottest thing she's ever heard, low and guttural, and of course he needs a minute because she can still feel him against her, hot and hard, and she laughs a little at his response because she needs several minutes herself.