Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Ultimate Spider-Man.
A/N: Sorry not everything got updated, last week and half stuff popped up at the last minute every day that left me little time to do anything else when I was done. To those that celebrate it, I hope you have a safe and happy Thanksgiving.
And this is the Ep. I was both waiting and dreading to do. Both because of doing Deadpool, the dread is because IDK that much about him for comics so if there's anything you want me to know, throw it out and I'll fix the Ch.
Beta: Jebest4781, and Chaos-PSD.
Chapter XLIII: Ultimate Deadpool.
Last Time.
A Few Days Later, S.H.I.E.L.D. Tri-Carrier.
"Naruto."
Naruto without his mask looked to see She-Hulk walking up to him in the training room. "Yeah Jen?"
"I heard that you're dating both Nat and Ava."
Naruto nodded at that. "That's right-!"
He was then picked up by She-Hulk to be face to face. "I want in."
"OK, might I ask why?"
She smirked at that before speaking. "Oh come on, you're a nice guy, any girl would kill to be with you. What? You don't want me?"
"No, but I would like any girl who would be interested to come to me first instead of the other way around," Naruto replied.
In New York a girl who was feeding squirrels sneezed as in New Jersey, Kamala followed suit and dropped her backpack having a Shinobi action figure fall out.
"Good then," She-Hulk said before dropping him and looked down. "Plus I'd like to see if Nat was telling the truth about that time she walked in on ya in the shower."
"What, She did? When?" Naruto asked as She-Hulk smirked again.
"Before you two hooked up. Friday good?"
"… Yeah…" Naruto replied as she left walking past him, bumping her hip against him having Naruto look back at her ass. 'I'm starting to prefer jeans over dresses… I blame Ava, and Nat wearing tight bodysuits and now She-Hulk wearing jeans.' He finished shaking his head.
Now.
Queens, Naruto's House.
"(Moan)"
Moaning was coming from Naruto's living room as he was giving Ava, Natasha, and She-Hulk massages on tables with the furniture pushed back and all three of them only having a small towel over their asses. "Hooow Aaree Yoou this goooood~?" She-Hulk asked as he hit a knot on her back.
"Reading up and instructional videos," Naruto replied before moving to her legs and started rubbing her thighs. "Of course with your muscles, it's a little harder to get your knots.
"You're getting them~"
He took a calming breath as the sounds each woman was making was starting to get to him. And tried not to stare at the sides of their chests that squashed out from laying on their stomachs.
New York City Night.
Sounds of screams echoed in an alley as someone was fighting a group of men with two katanas.
The moon shined down revealing a teen boy wearing a red and black full-body tactical suit with a belt that has several pockets. The suit also has two holsters on his back for his katanas.
He then stabbed one guy before speaking. "Yo! Sorry to pull you away from the good stuff. Two reasons. One: It's a little too early for sex and this isn't a smut fic where the couple does the nasty a day after getting together. And Two: That stuff isn't allowed on this website. Now you can picture either Ryan's or Nolan's voice for me, but if you excuse me I have to go back to killing these motherfuckers."
He stopped and blinked at that. "I can say kill? And cuss?" He then brought his hands up to flip off the sky. "Fuck you Mouse! Fuck you and your plan for world domination! Deadpool's back!"
"You know they bought our movie rights when they bought Fox after this episode aired right?" Deadpool heard a voice in his head.
"Motherfuc-!" Deadpool then took a calming breath before speaking. "For those of you readers that don't know me… Don't get pissy there, comic readers, some people may be new to comics/Marvel and this show or even story could be their introduction to me. I'm slightly surprised they used me in a kid's show. Hell, in Assemble they had the Punisher Good job Disney, introduce kids to the trauma that is the Punisher. And Hulk's show had Ghost Rider and a scene that looked like they went to hell."
"Anyway, I'm Deadpool the Merc with the Mouth who is now unfiltered due to the power of fan fiction! And yes, still a teen as I'm one in this universe… Hey, there's a Kidpool, Dogpool, and a rule 63 version of me. Who some of you probably hoped would be used here. Well, don't blame Wolf or me, blame Marvel or killing her off!"
"Between you and me, I didn't like that. But hey, if you bombard this with reviews asking for her, maybe she'll show up in the dimension-hopping arc! and Now let me finish with these guys while you get back to the others!" Deadpool said before turning around. "My mission's still the same as the episode by the way."
Naruto's House.
Naruto sat on his couch as the women walked to get changed. 'Something felt weird there for a second.' He thought before calming down at seeing each of his girlfriend's busts. "Come on Ava, we gotta go to S.H.I.E.L.D."
"Naruto~"
Turning to the stairs, he was hit with a towel before seeing a nude She-Hulk at the bottom before she turned to walk up.
Naruto took another deep breath before standing to splash cold water on his face.
S.H.I.E.L.D. Tri-Carrier.
Shinobi after talking to Fury walked in to see his team minus Spider-Man who had school work to catch up on laughing at Deadpool who was dancing on the table. "Oh fuck me." Naruto groaned before Deadpool saw him.
"Hey, Ninja Boy!" Naruto's eyebrow twitched at that.
"Why the hell are you here Wade?"
"I know you were expecting Wanda too, but like I told the readers, blame Marvel for that."
"Wanda, Marvel, and readers? What the hell are you on?" Naruto asked before Deadpool jumped over to use the computer. "Someone explain, now!" He said before Tiger spoke
"Deadpool was one of us-!"
"I know that, I meant why is his ugly face here?" Naruto said as Deadpool looked over his shoulder.
"A S.H.I.E.L.D. list of all superhero identities has been stolen. I need info for getting it back!"
"How do you know what his face looks like?" Nova asked his leader. "He's been with a mask since before you came here."
"I saw it. He looks like an avocado had sex with an older, more disgusting avocado. And not gently. Like it was hate-fucking. There was something wrong with the relationship, and that was the only catharsis that they could find without violence. His face is the stuff of nightmares."
"I know right? Like a testicle with teeth." Deadpool replied over his shoulder.
"He will die alone. I mean, if he could die. Ideally. For others' sake."
"That'll do, any longer and the readers will just complain we're taking too much from the movie!"
"What movie, what are you talking about? Seriously did you get shot in the head from being a mercenary?"
"No… Had a knife rammed through it though. AH, here we go Agent McGuffin has taken the list! And to Taskmaster!" Deadpool yelled before walking off. "Gotta go Ninja Boy!"
"I'm going as well Jackass. Man, I wish I could sew that mouth shut!"
"That did not go well back in 2009!" Deadpool yelled as Naruto followed after. "You know for a universe that is technically based on the MCU where S.H.I.E.L.D. formed the Avengers, there's none here most of the time. It's as if Wolf is too lazy to bring them in."
In The Air.
The duo is now flying in a stolen Stark Jet where Deadpool crudely crossed out Stark with his name. "I bet you're wondering about my backstory for this universe huh?" Deadpool asked as he piloted.
"I don't care," Naruto replied leaning back in his seat.
"Ever since I can remember, I've always been a fighter. It was like genetic engineering or whatever. I didn't pay attention in social studies class. I was a normal baby for 30 seconds. Then ninjas stole my mama. Nick Fury saw my awesome, took me in, suckled me on the sweet milk of justice."
"That's bullshit and you know it! The whole mother being taken from you as a baby is Blade."
"That's how the showrunner decided to do it. I guess having terminal cancer than being experimented on was too much for the kids. You can't shield them forever! But for those that don't remember/watched the show, I was a weird, special kid. And my life was shit. I got hurt by bad people. Fury's hero-school was the boost I needed. And for a while, I bought what Fury was selling. Until I realized it was more fun to laugh at the pain. To hurt those that hurt you, times a thousand."
"I need to drink whenever I run into you." Naruto groaned, rubbing his face just as men flew up via jet packs with Taskmaster themed costumes. "Of cou-RSE!" Naruto yelled as he was ejected out of the jet with Deadpool. "Are you out of your freakin mind!?"
"Depends on who's writing me!" Deadpool yelled as he and Naruto took a jet pack each to fly down into the base they're over as a missile flew towards them.
Bang!
BOOM!
Only for Deadpool to pick up two pistols and shoot it and land. "OK on to get Agent McGuffin and kill Taskmaster!" Deadpool yelled as he picked his katanas. "Hell yeah, it feels so good to not be on a PG-rated show!"
"I can't allow you to do that," Naruto said as Deadpool looked at him.
"Because the Mouse bought your manga too and you gotta play by his rules?"
"That must be some good shit you're on. No, because it isn't right!"
"Oh right, Wolf is writing you as a hero and not an anti-hero like me! Got it... Well since this is the Magical Kingdom's universe I'll play along, for now... At least until you go dimension-hopping and meet more of me for O.C. Chapters."
"I would rather break Hulk's crystal figurines first then meet another you."
"(Gasp!) That bad, even for my busty hourglass figure female version of me?"
"… Yeah, sure. Please one of you is enough. I doubt there's more." Naruto said, turning to the building with a training yard in front.
"Wait till you see her first before saying anything. Now let's go and get Taskmaster then get Domino and Rogue." Deadpool said, getting Naruto to look at him. "Oh right, forgot you're with Nat, Ava, and Jen."
"How the hell did you know that?"
"Not important! Missing out on Rogue though."
They then went to take out each of the men before Deadpool disappeared before Naruto heard a voice. "Why are you here Shinobi? I've done nothing wrong."
Turning, Naruto saw Taskmaster without his cape, only one belt with pouches and a white 'T' buckle and shoulder holsters.
"Deadpool brought me here, said you got a list of hero identities."
"Deadpool, here?" Taskmaster yelled before Deadpool dropped down and kicked Taskmaster before easily fighting him.
"How the hell? Taskmaster has a photographic memory!" Naruto asked as Deadpool laughed before tying Taskmaster up.
They then ran in to see the list was downloading before Deadpool stopped to look at Spider-Man. "Ooh, fun I don't know him!"
Naruto pulled the USB from the computer getting Deadpool to droop his shoulders. "You're no fun."
"And I know you're the one who took the list before Taskmaster got it. McGuffin, really? You can do better than that."
"Kids show on a kids network! Kids are stupid."
"OK, let's go then... And don't try to fight me or I'll break the list."
"See readers, heroes just aren't fun anymore… And the lady ones aren't sexy anymore! Just look at She-Hulk nowadays."
"Watch it, that's my girlfriend you're talking about!" Naruto yelled as Deadpool waved his hands.
"Here, yes, and before recently in the comics, sure! But in the comics now they make her look like the Hulk and talk like he did before episode 14 of this season."
"OK, A: Who in their right mind would do that to Jen? Even fan-made comics sent to her gives her beach ball sized breasts. And B: Seriously what are you on?"
"Wouldn't you like to know, now I'm gonna go home on my bed made of money with some girls! By Shinobi!" Deadpool yelled before flying off with a jetpack. "And review readers if you want me back into the story!"
Naruto sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose through his mask before calling Fury.
Later, Naruto's House.
Naruto closed the door and saw She-Hulk in one of his black shirts with the Konoha symbol on it and pink panties. "Hey, lover, took a nap in one of your shirts, hope you don't mind?"
"Why would I mind? I just want to get into bed I dealt with Deadpool today." Naruto asked, shrugging as she walked to him and bent down to kiss him before leaning up.
"Poor baby… You know, if this was the '90s I would be the one talking to the readers."
Naruto raised an eyebrow before shrugging and walked past her.
Smack!
And smacked her ass before walking up the stairs. "I'm going to bed."
To Be Continued.
Thanks for reading and let me know of any mistakes.
Beta: Jebest4781, and Chaos-PSD.
Sorry, not everything got updated, last week and a half stuff popped up at the last minute every day that left me little time to do anything else when I was done. To those that celebrate it, I hope you have a safe and happy Thanksgiving.
And this is the Ep. I was both waiting and dreading to do. Both because of doing Deadpool, the dread is because IDK that much about him for comics so if there's anything you want me to know, throw it out and I'll fix the Ch.
Nothing else to say.
Talk To You Later,
Lone Wolf Out.