full summary: A candy threatening weirdo, a rich heartthrob, a pink haired sweetie, a "I want every one to say I'm pretty or suffer girl", a shy peaceful girl, a kick-ass weapon master, a "this is your fate so deal with it" dude, and a WIZARD? Join the gang as they do the weirdest things ever! SasuSaku NaruHina ShikaIno NejiTen
disclaimer: I own nothing.
Last time on High School Of Weirdos:
FABULOUS: Why does this always, happen?
SHINO THE MATCH MAKER: I may be able to answer your question for two easy payments of $24.99 per month plus tax...
"High School Of Weirdos"
By:LimeQuartz
Konoha High School:
Neji paced slowly around the school grounds. He was nervous...Very nervous... So nervous, that it was unexplainable…
If you looked in a dictionary and looked under the definition of "nervous" you would see a picture of Neji, looking nervous...
Neji started pacing in a moderate pace in circles.
"Must not bite nails due to nervousness! It's un-hygienic!" thought Neji.
He stopped when he heard some footsteps.
He looked up to see...
THE GREAT SHINO!
"You made it Neji..." said Shino.
Neji merely nodded astounded that THE yes, THE GREAT SHINO was in front of him.
"Do you have the goods?" asked Shino, quietly. Neji nodded again as he reached into his pockets and handed IT to Shino.
"FINALLY..." said Shino he then smirked victoriously as his dark non-transparent glasses flashed.
He grinned as he stared at IT.
What is IT you might ask?
IT is actually the 2 payments of $24.99 plus tax Shino had been waiting for...a very long time.
"Shino the matchmaker I need your love advice... because it is DESTINY!" Neji whispered, but he screamed, the "DESTINY" part.
Shino lifted a brow curiously
"What happened to the FATE thing?" asked Shino, concerningly.
"I don't know it's getting annoying..." said Neji.
"Exactly!" said Shino, giving Neji a thumbs up.
SILENCE...
Shino suddenly started laughing like a maniac.
"Great Shino the matchmaker...why are you laughing like a creepy person, I don't want to know?" asked Neji, completely horrified.
"Well, it's just that you changed from fate to destiny and who knows, your next word might be TACO," laughed Shino.
"I like Tacos..." muttered Neji.
Shino shrugged the comment off but he added a silent, "I prefer waffles..."
"Excellent...now that I have IT I can start you teaching you some advice...now, who is the person you want me to give you advice for?" asked Shino curiously.
"Tenten" whispered Neji, quietly, since he was paranoid.
"The weapon master?" screamed Shino, in surprise.
Neji curtly nodded.
"Ahem...I'm afraid I won't be able to help you Neji." said Shino, as he began coughing.
"It seems my advices won't be able to help him..." thought Shino, in despair.
SHINO'S 3 WAYS TO BEING SUCCESSFUL:
1. Bribe the person who your client wants you to help give advice for
2. Tell him/her to keep it a secret from your client (pay them extra to be safe but don't give them your whole profit because then it would be all for nothing!)
3. Your client is happy and oblivious, you and a stranger your client has a crush on are rich!
Those are the 3 steps to Shino's success...
BRIBING PEOPLE
Shino prefers to call it persuading though...
"Why can't you help me Great Shino?" asked Neji, perplexed.
"Because she'll beat me to a bloody-pulp and I'll be forced to transfer to 'Inu-yasha' …" thought Shino.
Shino looked at Neji and felt some guilt...
"Okay Neji I shall help you by becoming your TEACHER!" said Shino, punching a fist into the air.
Neji watched in awe as fireworks came out of no where.
"How does he do that?" thought Neji curiously.
"Let us begin my student!" said Shino.
In class:
"Hey Hyuuga, when are you going to settle down and get yourself a girlfriend?" asked Sasuke, smirking, as he wrapped an arm around his girlfriend, Sakura.
"Wow! Now I'm a tool to make, someone jealous?" asked Sakura, annoyed as she crossed her arms over her chest.
"No…" said Sasuke, lamely.
Sakura rolled her eyes unconvinced. She thought Sasuke wouldn't notice but he did. He chuckled amused at her actions and leaned down to kiss her. She complied and kissed him back passionately. Sakura wrapped both arms around his neck deepening the kiss
Neji was no pervert so he left the couple alone.
He moved to the other side of the classroom avoiding Sasuke and Sakura who were making out now…
Neji decided to wait until Tenten arrived so he could try the advice The Great Shino gave him. He looked for the blond weirdo...Naruto! He would raise his self-esteem! I mean, it's not like Naruto would be kissing someone right?
WRONG!
Neji's eyes widened as he saw his cousin, Hinata kissing Naruto!
WTF?
Neji was going to go into protective hey-who-the-hell-do-you-think-you-are-making-me-jealous-and-I-don't-want-to be-related-to-you-mode.
He never got an opportunity because the door flew open and there was Tenten.
"Hi Tenten" said Neji.
"Hi" she responded, smiling.
Tenten sat down and Neji took the seat beside her.
"So Tenten...did you ever think of having a boyfriend?" asked Neji, casually.
Tenten stared at him in shock.
"Yes" she replied.
"Well me to..." said Neji.
"You thought about having a BOYFRIEND?" screamed Tenten, jumping out of her seat.
"NO, I MEANT GIRLFRIEND!" shouted Neji, slightly embarrassed.
"Okay..." said Tenten, as she sighed in relief.
"Think what the Great Shino taught you, Neji!" he thought.
"So Tenten do you want to...you know hang out sometime?" asked Neji.
"Are you asking me out?" asked Tenten.
"NO! I MEAN YES! I MEAN...MAYBE?" said Neji, unsure and confused.
"I thought you'd never ask" said Tenten, surprised.
"You mean...you like me too?'' asked Neji.
"Yeah, I liked you ever since grade 7" whispered Tenten, shyly.
"Well I like you since grade 6'" whispered Neji.
They leaned closer, and closer until their lips met.
FLASH!
They both pulled away to see Kakashi with a camera. He was grinning behind his mask. "Hm...I wonder if I can sell this on E-BAY…" thought Kakashi.
He looked up to see two very angry teenagers.
"Should I start running now?" asked Kakashi, scratching the back of his head nervously.
He never got a chance...
Some random mysterious place:
The happy/sad/proud Naruto song started to play...
Shino stared at his student from a distance as he started crying…
"I'm so proud of you Neji! You've done well!" thought Shino, as he looked through his binoculars in a mysterious place.
"Well you did well thanks to my great teachings of course! SHINO ALWAYS PREVAILS GARANTEED!" he screamed.
A rock flew through Shino's window and hit his head.
Shino then fell off his desk...
Yes, the mysterious place was his room...
"Ow! What was that? A meteor?" asked Shino, rubbing the spot on his head where the rock came into contact.
"Go to school Shino or I'll be forced to bring the hamster over there!" yelled Shino's neighbour.
"NO! NOT THE HAMSTER!" screamed Shino, in fear.
He quickly dashed out of his house...
"Its okay Mr. Hamster I'm sure Shino didn't mean it" said Shino's neighbour, petting the hamster, while reassuring it that it's not creepy.
"ACK! NOT THE HAMSTER!" Shino screamed, when he heard the word "HAMSTER" again.
Shino then ran towards the school in a mental manner...
Tsunade's office:
KNOCK!
KNOCK!
"Enter" said Tsunade, without even glancing at the door.
A young teen in a wheelchair entered the classroom.
"What do you want?" asked Tsunade, still glancing at her papers.
"I demand Uchiha Sasuke should be expelled from this school!"
"Why should he? He's a really important supplier for this school" said Tsunade, staring at the speaker.
"Its not like he owns this school and look at all of these injuries he caused me! I'll never be able to walk again!" cried Jin dramatically.
Tsunade lifted a confused brow.
"First of all Sasuke does own this school, second of all you're a drama queen and third of all you're standing." said Tsunade.
Jin was so angry he didn't even realize he stood up from his wheelchair.
He sat back down on his wheelchair embarrassed.
"Hmph I won't tolerate that wannabe actor in our school" yelled Jin.
"Are sure you're not describing yourself?" asked Tsunade. All of a sudden, as if on cue the school's drama club busted into the office.
"YOU!" screamed George's girlfriend a.k.a Sasuke's ex-fan girl.
"Excuse us Principal Tsunade, but this boy has stolen our wheelchair for the play" said a random girl in the drama club.
"Can we take him off your hands?" asked a guy in the drama club, punching a fist into his hand.
"Of course please take him off my hands" said Tsunade.
"Wha...what," stuttered Jin.
THE FOLLOWING IS CENSORED DUE TO EXTREME VIOLENCE...
After beating Jin up brutally and after laughing maniacally-like the drama club left the office with the star of their show…
The wheelchair!
"I'll be leaving..." said Jin as he limped out of the office only to have the door open and hit his face. Shizune, Tsunade's niece and assistance entered the office only to step on Jin's unconscious form.
"EEK!" yelled Shizune, in horror.
Tsunade sighed.
"Its nothing Shizune he just fainted because you slammed the door in his face," said Tsunade, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.
"I'm so sorry Tsunade!'' yelled Shizune apologetically as she started trying to kick Jin awake.
"No thank you, for getting that girly drama queen out of the way! So what were you going to tell me Shizune?'' asked Tsunade.
"You have visitors! They say they're your favorite friends ever...I think they're here for IT" whispered Shizune.
Tsunade's eyes flashed dangerously as a smirk crawled its way to her lips.
"Are you sure it's THEM?" asked Tsunade.
"Positive! The perverted white-haired man and the semi-perverted evil/strange/mental snake loving freakazoid it has to be THEM!" screamed Shizune flailing her arms in the air frantically.
"Orochimaru and Jiraiya its time for our annual strip-poker night and this time I won't lose!" yelled Tsunade.
"Tsunade, are you sure you'll win?" asked Shizune. "They win every year…" she thought inwardly.
"Don't worry I have a despicable plan" cheered Tsunade.
"What is it?" asked Shizune, curiously.
"I'll wear so many clothes I can't lose!" Shizune sweat dropped as Tsunade started laughing and after that chocking...
Shizune started stepping back quietly
"Ha ha I think it's time for your medication...I mean I'll leave now!" said Shizune. She then dragged Jin out of Tsunade's office and stuffed him into the janitor's closet.
Shizune started whistling innocently and walked away like nothing happened.
"Hey go find you're own wizard free zone you creep!" screamed Naruto in the janitor's closet.
He kicked Jin out of the closet...
and well...
Let's just say Jin got swept away literally by their janitor Kankuro!
"That's me" said Kankuro, proudly pointing at his name tag which spelt Oruknak.
"Kankuro you're name tags on backwards," shouted Gai-sensei, out of no where.
"I like being Oruknak," complained Kankuro.
"THATS IT YOU'RE FIRED!" shouted Gai-sensei.
Kankuro dropped the mop in shame and he started walking away.
"At least I can still work on ''Naruto'' as a cool BAD-ASS puppeteer" muttered Kankuro.
"MU HA HA HA HA! Now I will be the janitor!" screamed Gai-sensei as he countinued to sweep Jin away...
Konoha Leaf High School (hallway):
Sakura was walking down the hallway to her next class when two strong arms wrapped around her waist pulling her back. She turned around to come face-to-face with Sasuke, as usual.
"Where do you think you're going?" he asked.
"To class where else?" she asked as she pulled away from his embrace and started walking again.
She was suddenly pinned to the wall.
"I don't think so Sa-ku-ra" he breathed.
His warm breath caressed her neck
"Oh really? Why not?" she challenged.
"Because you didn't give me a kiss yet all day yet..." he said.
He closed his eyes and leaned down only to have his lips meet the cold brick wall. He turned to the side only to meet a laughing Sakura.
She moved at the last minute...
"Ha ha!" she laughed at him.
"You think this is funny?" he growled.
Before she could answer he attacked her lips. Sakura sent out a surprised yelp making Sasuke smirk against her lips. The bell rang and Sakura pushed him away. She frowned.
"You made me late!" whined Sakura.
"I'm late too..." he muttered.
Sakura sent him a glare. He smirked and shrugged his shoulders.
"At least we're late together" said Sasuke as he pulled her close to him.
"Yeah...together" she whispered.
A/N: Next chapter is drama! Will Ino leave everyone behind? Or will Shikamaru stop her? Tune in next time to see Shino work his magic for Shikamaru! Then again he didn't really do anything for Neji...
Next time on High School Of Weirdos:
PAUSE...
"Oh..." they replied
SILENCE...
"WHAT!" they screamed