Well, you asked for it, and you got it. The next Zany Antic! And all of this from Pen-Pen's POV. I'll give a bit of warning. Pen-Pen has quite the bad language, even if he can't speak it. And there's also some very suggestive content as well. It's implied. I'm going to take Pen-Pen's POV from Chapter 36 of Season 2. So glue your eyes to the screen and your backs to the chair. On with it!

A/N: Pen-Pen's thoughts are bolded.

Pen-Pen was up watching TV with Zack again. It would be with Zack if he hadn't fallen asleep in his spot on the pullout couch. It was perhaps about quarter after two in the morning, and Pen-Pen was hooked on this show Zack had shown him. It was this show called Jerry Springer.

He then heard something of a loud gasp from Shinji and Asuka's room. From the looks of things, they were still up. 'Oh just get it on, you two. You're already assumed to be married.' Pen-Pen listened to them talk for a bit. Apparently, he was wrong about them doing anything naughty, it was just Shinji having a bad dream. Knowing he should go to bed himself, he waddled his way back to his small cubicle, and went to sleep knowing what he'd hear tomorrow morning.

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That morning

Pen-Pen heard Zack wake up. 'Did that guy have to be so loud when he woke up?' So it could be safe to say he wouldn't be getting any more sleep. Deciding not to fight it any longer, he made his way out of his small icebox. He then saw Zack, Rei, and Ivana waiting for something at the table. Apparently, they were waiting for Shinji to fill their hungry bellies.

Pen-Pen then remembered that Shinji and Asuka were up late last night. Hopefully they didn't do it and Shinji really did have a nightmare because then he would have to deal with taunting and cheering from Zack and have to overhear a lecture from Misato. Two things he was not in the mood for. Pulling a beer out of the fridge helped him relax a bit.

"Wonder why Shinji isn't up yet," said Zack. "Not really like him to be sleeping in. We need real food for breakfast."

"Then why don't you go wake him up?" suggested Ivana. "That way we could eat something."

"Good point. Rei, go wake up Shinji for us. And Asuka can be woken up too I guess."

"Understood." Rei then proceeded toward the newlyweds' room.

Pen-Pen was shocked. That had to be one of the biggest forms of laziness he had ever seen, next to Misato waking up Shinji while she was at the table to get her a beer. Anyway, he knew he was going to be getting something to eat.

Snapping out of his current thought, he saw Rei come back with Shinji and Asuka in tow. So far, at least they didn't look like they did it last night. Right as he was about to dismiss the thought…

"About time!" said Zack. "Well Shinji, you slept in. I figured Asuka kept you up all night with the new moves she wanted to try! Maybe she wants to bear your child!"

Asuka went red at this remark. She was ready to kick Zack's ass when Ivana's fist met his head before Asuka's did. Zack quickly shut up.

"Thank you Ivana for putting Casanova in his place," said Asuka.

"No problem. I am always willing to help out a comrade," replied the Russian. "So what is for breakfast?"

Shinji looked over his ingredients before making a decision. "From the looks of things, we are having eggs, toast, and sausages." Everyone didn't mind the blandness of the meal. If it was Shinji cooking, it will taste excellent no matter what. Even Pen-Pen himself looked forward to Shinji's cooking. He was so glad that Misato decided to take him in. He could swear on Mama Penguin's poached carcass that whatever Misato was cooking was not even edible for human consumption. One time in particular was when Misato had invited Ritsuko over for dinner and they had instant curry. He thought he was dead. But the constant pain in his stomach reminded him he was still alive.

Speaking of Misato, there she was, in her usual hangover state. He wondered why she wasn't used to it by now. As usual, she took her beer can out of the fridge, chugged down half the can… "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" followed by a burp. "That's the way to start your morning! Wow, Shinji's cooking! This'll be exciting!"

Pen-Pen wondered to himself how old his master was really. She was supposed to be 29, but she acted like an overexcited 15-year old. Once breakfast was served, Shinji also got out a fish for him. That was what Pen-Pen liked to eat in the morning.

Once he was done, he watched the others eat. With the exception of Rei and Ivana, the others ate like there was no tomorrow. Pen-Pen wasn't a human, so he could be an exception to lack of manners. 'But there's no excuse for humans being able to eat without etiquette.'

Misato then remembered something. "Say Shinji. Isn't your father coming today?"

"Yeah, that's what he said. He'd be here at 11:30am," replied Shinji.

"Then I advise you be ready by then. He'll be here at 11:30 sharp. That is absolute."

"Okay," replied Shinji. "I'm gonna go use the shower so I'll be ready." And with that, he left for the bathroom.

Pen-Pen had never seen Shinji's father. But the numerous rumours that he was the biggest asshole were becoming more and more frequent. He was so glad that he had Mama and Papa Penguin for parents before they were both mercilessly poached by a couple of drunk poachers.

So Shinji was leaving today. Hopefully Misato will take the others with her. Pen-Pen loved the moments when he could have the TV and the house to himself. Then he could watch Jerry Springer on the English channels. He himself didn't know English, save for a few words he picked up from Zack, but the TV had subtitles, so he could follow along with the show. 'If only these brats would leave.'

Misato looked at the penguin. "Something on your mind Pen-Pen?"

"WARK! WARK!" 'Obviously there's something on my mind. When are you and the rest of the brats leaving the house?'

And so Pen-Pen had to put up with Zack and Asuka exchanging threats and insults for about half an hour. It was now 10:30am, one hour before Shinji was to leave. Why could they do something quiet for once? Like when Zack watches Jerry Springer with Elly when he goes over to NERV, or Asuka locking lips with Shinji. Or even be able to do something else quiet on their own, like how Rei was like dead to the world with her silence, or Ivana who was now watching TV. Or Misato enjoying her beer.

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55 minutes later, and still no peace of mind for our beloved penguin

"Behold the ticking clock!" said Zack as they all waited for Gendo to arrive. It was 11:25 and they were waiting for the Commander to show up and get Shinji.

"Wow Zack. You've managed to make the ticking of a clock VERY irritating," replied Misato.

'I couldn't agree with you any more Master,' thought Pen-Pen to himself.

"Hey. Just saying it like it is."

Misato then had a few words for Shinji. "Shinji, whatever happens, don't be scared. Answer every question he asks you, even if your answer sounds stupid. And remember, the asshole IS trying to make amends, so be understanding. And most importantly," she said with a wink. "Have fun."

"Okay Misato," said Shinji.

"I hope you're ready Shinji," said Asuka. "It's not everyday someone goes into the belly of the beast!"

"He'll be fine!" replied Zack. "He sleeps with the beast every night!"

'Uh oh.'

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Asuka threw a pillow off the couch at Zack. Zack catches it and throws it right back. However his aim is off and he hits Ivana in the head.

'Double uh oh.'

"OH SHIT!" Zack runs into the kitchen to get away from Ivana. Ivana takes the pillow and whips it at Zack, catching him in the back of the head and taking him down.

If Pen-Pen could laugh, he would have. 'Serves Zack right for making those unnecessary comments though. But I would be somewhat disturbed if they were doing it. Hey didn't I dismiss that thought an hour ago?'

"So Misato," started Shinji. "What will you do today?"

"I'll take the girls… and him out for a day on the town."

'I can't believe it,' thought Pen-Pen. 'God really does exist! I get the whole house to myself!'

Then it was 11:29am. Zack was also back on his feet and counting the seconds. "10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! Showtime!"

Right as Zack said Showtime, the doorbell rang. Everyone's head turned to the door. "I believe you should answer it Shinji," said Rei.

Shinji slowly got up off the couch and went to the door. Everyone quietly followed behind. Shinji then slowly opened the door. As expected, there was a person waiting outside the door. It was his father, Gendo Ikari!

'HOLY SHIT! THAT GUY IS SCARY!' observed Pen-Pen. 'Now I know why Shinji used to hate the guy!'

"Hello… Father," said Shinji.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"Yeah. Let's go." And Shinji shut the door behind him and off father and son went.

"There never was a braver man," said Zack.

'Indeed. Wouldn't touch that guy with a 99 ½ foot pole.'

10 minutes later, Misato dragged the kids out the door to do who knows what. Now he had the apartment to himself. Without further hesitation, he waddled over to the pullout couch and turned on the television set. He decided to watch the movie: March of the Penguins.

After almost 20 minutes, Pen-Pen got bored of the show, and turned on his favourite show.

TV: And now, we bring to you what has been declared the worst show on television: Jerry Springer! (Catchy tune in the background)

Jerry: Hi there. Welcome to today's show. Today we have people who got issues with their lives, and with the person in the chair across from them. Today we have…

And oh yes, Pen-Pen was right into this stuff. Best of all. It was hilarious. People acting like Misato minus being drunk. And it was uncut too. And no matter how crazy thigns would get, the crowd was always right, whether the person in question was dirty, a loser, or something else that was bad.

Pen-Pen thought about what it would be like if the EVA kids and Misato were on Jerry Springer. He could picture Asuka getting mad at Elly for making advances on Shinji. Asuka getting mad at Zack for his inappropriate behaviour. Asuka getting mad at Misato for taking Kaji away from her. Asuka getting mad at Rei for taking all Shinji's attention.

'Okay, too much negatives for Asuka,' thought Pen-Pen to himself. So he decided to cut the hot-tempered redhead a break… Misato getting mad at Asuka for sleeping with Shinji in her apartment. Misato getting mad at Ritsuko for stealing away Kaji. That would be hilarious. Misato getting mad at Shinji's father for being a useless piece of shit father.

After watching a whole show of Jerry Springer, the sleep he failed to get that night finally caught up to him.

He heard a door slide open. It was Misato and the others. Looks like they were home. At least he managed to get some sleep in during that time. 'Here we go again.'

"What a day that was," said Misato. "Mini-putting sure was fun though."

"I can't believe Rei beat us all," replied Asuka.

"It all is simply angles and levels of power," said Rei. "Not much more was necessary."

"I was trying to tell you that Asuka," said Ivana. "Maybe if you had listened, you wouldn't have had the worst score. I really expected more from a college graduate."

"WHAT?"

'Ouch. That was harsh.'

"And maybe if you didn't have Shinji-on-the-brain, your play would have been half-decent," uttered Zack. He was just asking for it.

'Zack. Watch it. You have no idea how thin the ice is you're standing on.'

"Maybe if you ask him really nicely, he'll let you bear his child!"

'Oh shit… he's toast…'

That was it. Asuka picked up an unopened can of beer and threw it at Zack's head. Zack of course, blocked the can-turned projectile. But Zack did not expect what happened next. Asuka then advanced on him quickly. Before he could react, Asuka brought her foot up between his legs, and hit the spot she intended to kick.

A wet crack could be heard, followed by a yell of pain, then a weight hitting the floor. Asuka had sacked Zack for his annoying comments that he had been making all day. And this was the last straw. There was no pity for Zack. Everyone left the room and waited for Shinji to come home. Except for Pen-Pen as he looked at the fallen Sixth Child who was clutching his groin area in an immense amount of pain.

Pen-Pen had flinched when Asuka had kicked him in the pills. It seemed to be a male thing to flinch whenever your fellow male was hit where no man should be hit. 'Man Asuka, that was brutal. Even he deserved better than that.'

The doorbell rang. Rei went to answer the door. Of course it was Shinji, as expected.

'He survived! I will still be able to eat real food!'

"Welcome home Shinji," greeted Rei. "How was your day with Commander Ikari?"

"It was alright," replied Shinji. He noticed Zack on the ground in an apparently large amount of pain. "What happened to Zack?"

"He was apparently making some inappropriate comments to Asuka and in return she kicked his groin area."

Shinji chuckled. "That would do it."

Shinji then followed Rei into the kitchen where he was greeted by the apartment's other females. They seemed to be glad to see him. Shinji told them all about the day he spent with his father. Nobody paid attention to Zack when he limped into the kitchen, grab some ice and a Ziploc bag to make an ice pack, and then limp back out.

The rest of the evening went as planned. Shinji was in such a bright mood that he cooked again to everyone;s delight. Even Pen-Pen's.

After what was a long day, everyone finally retired for the night. Pen-Pen decided not to stay up with Zack because the Sixth Child had problems of his own. So Pen-Pen retreated to his icebox and settled in for a good night rest.

A/N: And how was that! Whew! I'm bushed out. Almost like I rewrote the chapter but included Pen-Pen's POV. Remember people, get out there and vote. Every vote counts! As long as I get a message of sorts of what you want, it's counted. I'll be back December 10 for the next edtion of the Zany Antics. Be cool!

Epilogue

Pen-Pen heard a noise that awoke him from his slumber. So he opened his icebox to see what it was. And what a sight he saw. It was Zack, waddling into the kitchen like a penguin. He was still in a lot of pain from the collateral sacking he got from Asuka. Pen-Pen watched him change the icepack he had, and returned back to his spot on the couch.

'Note to self. When the redhead is ready to have children, the matter of her bearing Shinji's child will become a safe subject of discussion.'