A/N: Alright! Here we are again! The fourth edition of the Zany Antics is here! This may be a little more OOC, but as always, I try my best for the opposite and at the same time, make you laugh. So what happens when Asuka takes the wrong pills?
It seemed to be a wonderful day in Misato's mind. She didn't have a hangover this morning. Zack and Ivana were not fighting over who was the better fighter or idiot. Shinji had cooked a wonderful breakfast as always, and Rei was soon going to be on her way to making a full recovery from Angel Rejection Syndrome, and Asuka…
"Hey, where's Asuka?" the guardian asked suddenly motioning to Shinji. "Isn't she awake yet?"
"I don't know," replied Shinji. "I tried to get her up, but she didn't want to get out of bed. I had to slide out from under her this morning."
"Because she wanted all of you?" interjected Zack, who was already starting the string of tension. "I'm surprised she let you leave the room, knowing how madly she loves you. Who knows what may happen without her watchful eyes and arms."
"Zack, don't start. At least not now," muttered Ivana.
"Fine," grumbled Zack, "I'll start in a few minutes then."
We now go back to Asuka's room. Where the redhead is beginning to awaken from her holy slumber due to an unknown discomfort. Once her eyes completely opened, she noticed Shinji wasn't there. Maybe he was taking her warmth for granted and everything she did for him. Slowly, she brought herself to fours. As she was about to stand up, she felt as if someone was standing on her head.
"Oh fuck… my head," she mumbled as she battled with herself to stand on two feet. No headache could stand up to Asuka though, as the girl slowly made her way to the door.
"Look, it's the Queen of Evil and she's here to get her slave," declared Zack as he saw Asuka emerge from her room.
"Shut up," moaned Asuka as she clutched her head, "Misato where's the Advil?"
"Oh it's in the bathroom," replied Misato. She then stood up, "Well I'm heading off to NERV, and then I'm going elsewhere. Zack and Ivana, if you two want rides, I suggest you're ready right now."
"Done," the Canadian and Russian said in unison.
"Good. Let's go. Don't forget to clean up Shinji. And take very good care of Asuka, you hear me?" With that, Misato, Zack and Ivana had left, while Shinji began to clean up and felt slightly embarrassed.
Now we go back to Asuka. She had managed to find her way into the bathroom. Her headache wasn't feeling any better. In fact it had gotten worse. So bad that it was starting to blur her vision.
'Advil, Advil, fuck which one of these is Advil?' she mentally said to herself. Through the blurred vision, she managed to see it. 'YES!' the voice in her mind screamed. She grabbed the box and ripped out two of the pills. In her excitement she filled up a cup by the sink with water from the tap, and quickly downed the pills.
She still felt the headache somewhat, but the fact that she got the remedy for it was starting to dull the pain somewhat. The fact that it was 'all in her head' was feeling very literal at the moment. In her excited state, she forgot to put the box back in the cupboard and went out to see what the baka/lover was doing. Apparently, he was cleaning up after everyone who had just eaten breakfast.
She suddenly had this urge to go up to him and hug him and kiss him like some crazy fan girl, but alas she still had a headache. So one would have to settle for seductive tones instead. "Good morning Shinji," she said in the selected tone.
"Morning Asuka," replied Shinji a little shakily. He wasn't used to this tone at all, "Are you feeling okay."
"I'm feeling much better thank you." Asuka sat down at the table where her breakfast awaited her, "But I'd feel even better if you sat down with me."
'What's up with Asuka this morning?' wondered Shinji as he reluctantly sat down in a chair next to Asuka. 'She never acts like this, even when she's in a good mood.'
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Geofront
"Ah, if there's one thing better than watering melons, it's being between Misato's melons," said Kaji. The badly shaven self-declared he-man was busy doing his favourite pastime. And that was watering the melons in his melon patch. And they were coming along nicely.
He checked his watch. "Hmm, Misato should be here shortly. And she dares say she can't stand me. Perhaps she should ask herself why she's coming to me to get some of what she likes better than beer. She has two likely willing guys in her apartment within arms reach, and yet she chooses me!" he laughed aloud to himself.
"Oh you are so full of yourself as always," called out a voice behind him.
"Am I?" asked Kaji turning around to see Misato standing there with her hands on her hips. Kaji laughed and scratched the back of his head, "Well to each their own opinion." He motioned towards his small house, "Come on in. I've got some freshly squeezed melon juice that you just gotta try."
"If that shuts you up, then I'm all for it," said Misato walking with Kaji into the house. And yes she decided to try some of his melon juice. She is somewhat mature for those who think she just goes to see Kaji for the SOLE reason of rocking the boat.
"Oh by the way Misato," began Kaji while he was in the bathroom, "where's that stuff you use? Was it Ad… or no Avil… err what was it again?"
"Avlimil Kaji. It's called Avlimil And I left it at home. Right next to the Advil. You wanted this so bad that you got me rushing out the door. So this will only be half as fun for you." After finishing off the juice, she hit the man who just emerged from the bathroom with a hard kiss.
Let's leave them alone. We're not like those intrusive lemon/lime fics.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Misato's Flat
Pen-Pen emerged from his small icebox. Being much smarter than the average penguin, he decided that it was time for a bath. And so he waddles his way into the bathroom. He hadn't seen it, but he had heard Asuka acting rather strangely this morning. Asuka had the tendency to be nice, but not like that.
Coming to terms with the fact that the unpredictable redhead was Shinji's problem and that he had better find a way out if he knew what was best for him, Pen-Pen began to pour the water into the tub. However, he noticed there was a box on the floor next to the toilet. So out of curiosity he goes to check it out. The box reads: Avlimil, specially formulated to enhance a woman's sexual experience through proper proportions, Avlimil's formula works to enhance libido, sexual feeling, and sexual response.
Pen-Pen then immediately remembered something he overheard this morning. Something about Asuka complaining about a headache. She must have taken Avlimil instead of Advil! If the penguin remembered correctly, these are the pills Misato sometimes takes when she's with Kaji. And if Asuka had taken these pills by accident, who knows what may happen to Shinji.
'Poor Master. I don't think he'll see it coming.'
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Streets of Tokyo-3
Shinji wasn't too sure what to think. Asuka sure was acting strange indeed. He wasn't sure whether to be happy from being half glomped by his girlfriend, or be worried that something was wrong with her.
Reassessing what had happened over the last thirty to forty-five minutes, Shinji had determined something wasn't at all right with Asuka. Sure her making out with him for a few minutes in the house may at times be considered a tad abnormal, but all the seductive and suggestive words, to the absolute grip she had over his right arm, to sitting on his lap on the bus. Yes, something wasn't right at all.
At Asuka's suggestion, they went to the water park by bus in Tokyo-2. Of course this was once again at Shinji's expense. This really was going to be a hamper on his bank account, but a part of him liked the fact that he could make Asuka happy.
"What's wrong Shinji?" asked Asuka in that tone again. This snapped him out of his train of thought, "Don't be scared lover boy. I won't bite, at least not hard anyway." She kissed his cheek and wrapped her arms around his neck, "I heard this water park is awesome. I can't wait till we get there."
"I guess so."
The water park was indeed amazing once they arrived after an hour on that bus. Once they changed into their swimsuits, they went straight for the slides.
"Yippee! I'm so excited!" cheered Asuka. "Let's do the double tube slide."
"Alright, if you say so," muttered Shinji. Something was definitely wrong, and he didn't like it. Hopefully all this playing would eventually wear her right out. And she'd go back to being the somewhat bitchy, and complaining Asuka he knew and loved.
The tunnel itself was quite fun. You would slide around completely in the dark, not knowing which way you would suddenly turn next. After about twenty seconds of high-speed tubing, they eventually reached the light and a big splash at the bottom.
"Let's do that again," said Asuka. "Let's do the really fast one this time!"
Shinji decided that perhaps trying to tone Asuka down and spoil her good mood may not be the best idea. This may be a blessing, "Alright, let's go again!" he replied looking at her. Then it hit him. With the sun reflecting of her soaked body and her two-piece bathing suit, it brought out the best in Asuka's looks. In Shinji's mind no Black Angel or anyone or anything for that matter could stand up to the power of Asuka's dynamite body.
Regaining his composure, he replied back, "All right! Let's go!"
Now we shift ahead to the two sunbathing on some beach towels. If you want to see/imagine Asuka in all her sexy glory multiple times, read the above paragraph past the line where Shinji speaks over and over again. It's another hot day in October and the heat just won't die down. As such our two pilots want to take advantage of this before Mother Nature takes her nasty turn.
"Ah isn't this day wonderful Shinjikins?" asked Asuka with a sigh in her voice.
"I guess so. It isn't everyday we get out like this." Shinji felt secretly relieved that whatever was up with Asuka seemed to be wearing off. "You want to go get a treat after this or something?"
"I don't need to go get a treat," replied Asuka.
"W-why's that?"
To Shinji's surprise, she rolled on top of him, "I already have my treat," she said with her seductive tone before covering his mouth with her hungry lips. "And he tastes mighty good too."
"I g-g-guess that's a good thing," said a slightly scared Shinji, worried that whatever was making Asuka act so strangely not go away.
"As good as you are, I only get a taste from each kiss. I want the whole thing." She got off him to undo the top half of her bikini.
"Asuka, what are you doing?" inquired Shinji. Was she going to take him right here and now? His face went from peach coloured, to pale, and now red.
"What's wrong? Are you embarrassed because there are people around?" teased Asuka. "You embarrassed that they'll see us showing the love we have for each other?"
"I-I-it's not that!" said Shinji, struggling for a good explanation. He was a master at bailing out of a bad situation, and he managed to bail out here, "I'm not embarrassed! I'd do it right here and now, it's that… others may be offended!"
She sighed and dropped back on top of him, "All right Mr. Sensitive, you win." She sighed as she laid against him, her breasts digging into his chest, "Ah your skin feels nice."
"F-feelings mutual," said Shinji. Well obviously it's mutual, more so especially if you have a beautiful topless girl lying on your bare chest!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nearly two hours later, NERV HQ
"Damn! We're missing a really nice and soppy romance movie," moaned Asuka as she ventured into NERV with Shinji. "Damn her deciding to have the locks changed today."
"Well it's procedure," replied Shinji, hoping that this libido Asuka was now wearing off this time.
"Maybe if we hurry and find Misato, we can catch it on another station, giving us all the motivation we need," she smirked. Nope, it hadn't worn off yet. "And maybe, we can get a little… naughty. This time where no one can see us and be 'offended'."
"I see."
As they walked deeper into NERV, the pills that Asuka had unintentionally took was making Asuka's mind go absolutely crazy. Sure she wondered perhaps a few times what the boy would be like in bed should they ever dare to do the deed. And she would assume that it wouldn't happen between them for at least a few more years.
But right now, the fact that she wanted to do Shinji right now, and just about anywhere, was wrestling with her sanity for top spot in Asuka's mind. But the hormone wrestler in her mind had just pulled a devastating finishing move on the sanity wrestler and pinned it down. In that moment, she just had to have him. She had been resisting it all day, but now she could wait no longer. Seeing a janitor's closest she dragged Shinji into it, shutting the door and turning on the light.
"Asuka, what are you…"
The redhead didn't let the boy finish his question, as she drowned him in a very hot kiss. She broke the kiss off looking very hungry, "Kiss me you sexy beast."
Not in a position to refuse, Shinji decided it was time to fight back. Fight fire with fire. He kissed her right back with all the ferocity he had in the dimly lit room. And oh boy did that set Asuka off. It was pleasing her raging hormones and she was dead set on pleasing them all the way through.
To Shinji's surprise, Asuka's skirt had found its way to the floor and she was working on unbuckling his pants, not to mention her blouse had all the buttons undone revealing her cleavage very well.
"Asuka?"
"Shh. I want you Shinji. I can't resist you anymore. Right here. Right now," she whispered in his ear.
Meanwhile through the halls of NERV, the most powerful man within thousands of miles walked its corridors. Not much else to do at the moment, he decided to look around to make sure everything was as it should be.
However, something caught Gendo Ikari's ear. Some dull moaning sound. Determined to find out where it was coming from, he walked towards it. He quickly noticed it was coming from the janitor's closet. From the sounds alone, he assumed some employees were making out in there or perhaps having sex. They knew the rules about intimacy in NERV HQ and especially while on the job and they were about to get a lecture.
He yanked the door open to reveal… Shinji and Asuka? From what he saw, Asuka had him pinned against a wall about to remove his shirt. All he had left on was the shirt and his boxer shorts. The girl herself had only her panties, her unbuttoned blouse, and her bra.
Time just seemed to stand still, as they had noticed him once he opened the door, their faces getting redder by the minute. Shinji and Asuka both figured they were in serious trouble now from the commander.
After a few seconds, he muttered, "Leave." That was mercy to their ears.
The Second and Third Children quickly dressed themselves and darted away quickly not daring to look back.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Later that night
Asuka rose out of bed to go to the bathroom. As she was about to leave, she noticed a box on the floor. 'Ah it's the Advil box,' she said to herself. Picking it up, she made a dreadful discovery. It wasn't Advil at all she had taken that morning. This was Avlimil! 'Holy schiesse, this isn't Advil! This stuff makes you horny!' That had to explain it, why she felt like she wanted to make love to Shinji. These stupid pills. But then again, even though he was scared he still made quite the lover.
'Maybe again, for another time,' she snickered to herself pocketing two more pills.
A/N: YES! IT'S BACK! THE ZANY ANTICS LIVE! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! R&R people. Until the next Antic, be cool!
I also note that the FDA does not certify Avlimil, so I can't guarantee its results. Try it if you dare. Misato sure likes it, and it sent Asuka for a loop. So it can't be all that bad.