Despite the nightmares that plagued Andréa's sleep, two short days of travel passed without incident. She'd managed to act mostly like her usual self, though in quiet moments she still stared off into the distance clutching her necklace; it had gone unmentioned, but not unnoticed.
As the company settled into a camping spot for the night, Fíli approached Andréa where she was quietly chatting with Bilbo about dwarf beards.
He was sure he'd overheard Bilbo say something about Thorin, but chose to ignore it when he saw the looks of embarrassment on their faces at his sudden presence.
He smiled and held up a throwing knife. "Ready for practice, backup wizard?"
She raised her brows. "Oh! Yes." She winced apologetically at Bilbo. "If- that's alright?"
Bilbo grinned and waved her on. "Have fun."
Kíli looked over from where he was assisting Ori to tie up the ponies, and caught the sight of Fíli and Andréa walking off from camp. Once again she seemed to be smiling bashfully at his older brother while Fíli said something. It turned his stomach in a way he couldn't admit to himself, and he stared after them until they disappeared behind a nearby outcropping.
"Are you feeling like a warrior, ready to rain sharp death on your enemies?" Fíli asked as he presented the log he'd set up for her to aim at.
"Sure," she lied badly.
He laughed and held out a throwing knife to her. "This one is the best to start with. Perfectly balanced, so it'll be easier to aim. Careful, though, it's deceptively sharp."
She took it from him gingerly, careful not to cut his outstretched hand.
"Now watch-" He pulled out another small blade and lifted it behind his head, pausing at the height of his usual arch. "See how I grip the handle? When I throw, it will spin. The trick is to throw with enough force and spin to stick the sharp end into your target."
She slowly nodded, feeling more intimidated by this than she had when learning archery from Kíli.
Fíli demonstrated his throw in slow motion a few times while she watched and tried to imitate his form.
"Okay, now…" He took a deep breath and then, from a neutral position, went through his throwing motion at his usual breakneck speed.
She blinked and looked over to the log, brows raising with admiration to see that it had struck true.
"You try."
To say that her efforts were comical would have been generous.
Fíli marveled that the wizard who had struck his uncle square in the forehead with an acorn seemed completely unable to throw a knife at a log with any accuracy. He saw her embarrassment grow as he tried to correct her form, bountiful instruction and encouragement not quite enough to get the hang of it after forty or so throws.
Finally he stepped closer and put his hands toward her. "May I?"
She wasn't sure what he was even asking, but she agreed out of trust.
He stepped behind her and used his body to position her, grabbing her throwing hand with his and slowly moving it through the motion. Then he did the real throw, letting go of her hand when he would have let go of the knife.
To her surprise, she felt the difference. The force in the throw and when to let go were different when he did it than what she'd thought.
Kíli was frozen in the treeline behind them. He'd come to fetch them for dinner, but had stopped in his tracks when he saw his brother's arms around the backup wizard.
Fíli stepped away and handed her one of the blades again.
She took a deep breath and tried again. This time the blade hit the log by the handle, bouncing off to land in the dirt.
"Huzzah!" Fíli shouted, startling her.
"But it didn't stick!"
"You hit the target, that's the first hurdle." He showed her another knife. "You have to judge the distance and how many rotations of the knife it will take to stick. You can use more force or even throw by the blade to get the number of rotations right." He gingerly held it by the blade and whipped it at the log, sticking easily.
She shook her head in amazement. "This is a very difficult technique. I'm not sure if this is really something I will end up being good at."
Fíli laughed. "We can try something else? But I do think you could learn it, in time."
"That is very kind to say."
"How are you taking to archery?"
She straightened up somewhat at the mention. "Oh, I think- I think I might be getting better at it?"
"Is Kíli a better teacher than I am?" Fíli teased.
Her face fell somewhat in distress. She didn't mean to offend him. "No- I- I think I'm just more suited to it, perhaps."
Fíli smirked. He wondered if she didn't just prefer the company. "Kíli's not bad a throwing knives."
"Not as skilled as you, Fi." Kíli's voice called out behind them as he casually walked up.
Andréa flushed at the sight of him, shoulders hunching slightly. "Surely much better than me."
Kíli gestured to his older brother. "Years of forced lessons with this one. Even Bilbo could throw as well as me with that much practice."
She frowned at the casual put-down of their hobbit. "Don't speak ill of Bilbo."
He put his hands up defensively. "I meant nothing by it."
Fíli held out some of his knives. "Kíli, why don't you do a few throws. Maybe you can show her something I haven't."
Kíli shrugged. "Alright." He took the first blade, frowning somewhat. He'd never felt nervous about throwing knives before, but the thought of missing in front of her now mortified him.
Luckily, Fíli was right. Kíli had years of practice behind him, and no trouble sticking the log three times in a row.
Andréa had noticed a difference in their technique, however. While it was clear that he'd learned the same throwing motions that Fíli had shown her, Kíli aimed standing as he did for archery. She wondered if that might make things easier on her as well.
After the third throw, Kíli grinned with satisfaction. "Ah, not bad for being rusty."
He dusted his hands together and looked between them. "In any event, I came to tell you dinner was nearly ready to serve. We should head back to camp."
Andréa sat with Bilbo after finishing dinner. He was telling her about the hobbit family politics in the Shire.
"Ah, but my cousin Otho's wife, she wants Bag End."
She tilted her head playfully. "And here you are, on an adventure, not guarding your home. What will you do if you find she's moved in when you return?"
Bilbo laughed, then paused, a distressed look crossing his face as he contemplated it.
"Andréa!" Kíli called to her from a distance. When she looked over, he held his bow up. "I'm going to do some shooting. Would you like to come?"
She grinned and grabbed her bow. She gave Bilbo a sympathetic smile. "Excuse me, Mr. Baggins. But if I get enough practice, I may actually be of some use." She laughed self-deprecatingly as Bilbo waved her off, then quickly joined Kíli's side.
Bilbo watched as the two walked away from camp, and smiled to himself as he recognized the special way they seemed to regard each other. He briefly imagined Thorin inviting him off to a secluded part of the forest, then shook his head.
Kíli led Andréa a fair distance, until they could no longer see the light of the fire or hear any sounds from camp. A bright moon shone, covered from time to time by quick moving clouds.
"I hope our burglar didn't mind me stealing you away."
"Oh, no," she shook her head. "Bilbo's not like that."
"You two seem close." He flashed a teasing smile. "Do you care for him?"
"Of course," she replied seriously. "I care for everyone in the company."
"That's not…" Kíli laughed, trailing off.
"I think we simply ended up becoming friends because neither of us are Durin's folk."
"Neither are Bofur, Bifur, or Bombur."
She turned to him in surprise. "No?"
He shook his head at her. "No, they're from the Blue Mountains."
He was surprised by her strong reaction to this news. She seemed distressed and confused.
"Not all dwarves are Durin's Folk, Andréa."
"No, I knew that. But…" She looked away. "I'm just surprised that they would risk their lives to reclaim Erebor if they're not," she lied.
He slowed to a stop and gestured to a fallen log they could shoot.
She nodded and they both readied their bows.
Kíli shot an arrow. "You're not Durin's Folk either, but you've come along."
She smiled bashfully. "Ah, that's true." She shot an arrow.
He smiled at her improved accuracy, then turned to her with a serious expression. "Why are you risking your life for us?"
She pulled an arrow from her quiver. "Mmm… At first, it was simply something to do to be of use." She shot.
"And now?"
She looked up at him. "Now I know you. I want to make sure you all survive the journey."
He smirked. "Of course we will." He shot another arrow, marking just above his first one. "And Thorin will be King Under the Mountain."
The moonlight faded even more as a dark grey cloud rolled overhead. Still, she managed to shoot the log again.
They continued on, Kíli making suggestions to her form or aim if he thought of them, until they were both out of arrows.
Andréa pulled an arrow from the log and started when she felt a drop of rain hit her cheek. She looked up, noting the dark clouds that had taken over the sky. She went back to her task. "We should hurry back to camp."
"Mm," Kíli nodded. "You did well tonight."
She grinned at the praise. "Thank you." After her abysmal performance with Fíli's throwing knives, knowing that she was passable at archery slightly soothed her ego.
The rain picked up as they finished taking their arrows and became a sudden, deafening downpour.
She put up her hood and moved closer to Kíli as he did the same.
Kíli looked around and nodded in a direction that wasn't toward camp. She followed him, and soon they were under cover, inside a shallow outcropping of rock in the forest hillside.
Andréa removed her hood and wiped rain from her face. "I should have brought my staff," she bemoaned.
Kíli looked out into the dark, wet night. "We can wait here for a time. If it doesn't clear, we may be better off returning to camp even in the rain."
She nodded, looking around the small space they were occupying. "Agreed. This is not the best place to sleep." There was enough room for them to stand, but they'd have to sleep sitting against the stone wall to avoid the deluge. She looked out into the sheets of rain and shivered, grateful for the cover.
"You're cold," he noted. He put his hand on her shoulder and nudged her further into the alcove. "Stand away from the opening."
She moved to where he directed, but smiled at him. "I'll be alright."
He shrugged out of his outer coat. "Here." He draped it over her shoulders. "Keep warm."
She protested, starting to remove it. "No, Kíli, then you'll get cold."
He put his hands over her shoulders, pressing it in place, and leaned down slightly. "I run warmer than you. I'm a dwarf. I'll be fine."
She looked up at him in the dark, feeling the flush on her cheeks. "Thank you, Kíli."
He smiled crookedly, studying her face. He couldn't be sure in the dim light, but she seemed to be blushing. He wondered if it was because of their proximity. He brushed some stray, wet hairs from her face. "Don't want you falling ill."
There was a sudden flash of light, followed by a booming crack.
Andréa yelped, pressing against Kíli's chest.
"It's only lightning," he assured her, wrapping his arms around her protectively as he tried not to laugh.
"It just startled me," she replied defensively. She moved to pull away, but he gripped her tighter, putting one hand on the back of her head.
"I'll protect you," he promised.
"No." She pushed him away enough that she could look at his face.
No? He had a wounded expression as he removed his hands from her.
She took one of his hands in hers, and gave him a pointed look. "We'll protect each other."
He let out a soft snort, forcing a smile as he rolled his eyes. "Alright."
She returned his gesture, moving wet hair out of his face. "It is more important that you survive this journey than I do."
His brow furrowed. "Don't speak so lowly of yourself."
"I took an oath to protect Durin's Folk, and I mean to keep it."
He moved closer, holding her hand against his chest as he smiled crookedly. "And I mean to protect you in kind."
"You don't need to-"
"I want to." He licked his lips, stealing a glance at hers. "Am I not free to do so?"
She nodded, swallowing nervously at his proximity. "Of course. Do as you wish."
"As I wish?"
He studied her face. Her wide, hazel eyes were dark pools in the din in which they stood. Her beardless jawline was more delicate than those of the dams back home. Her slightly parted lips called to him like never before, and he slowly moved his face closer to hers.
Her eyes never left his, and he met her silent gaze as he nudged his nose against hers.
Do as you wish, she'd commanded.
And so he closed his eyes and pressed his lips to hers.
She felt her cheeks aflame, his stubble prickling her skin in an unfamiliar way, and she could not help but tentatively press back against his mouth.
When they pulled apart, they were both quiet while the rain continued to pound around them.
Kíli froze, waiting for some kind of reply from Andréa to indicate if it was alright with her.
They stared at each other in the dark for a moment before she tipped up on her toes to kiss him again.
At this, his hand reached up to the nape of her neck, pulling her into a deeper kiss. She gripped at his shirt. He pressed her against the rock wall as she sighed against his lips.
After a long, heated moment, he pulled back and rubbed his nose against hers, his gaze intense. "Peony…"
Her breathing was heavy as she stared up at him in the dark. She felt like she should say something - to stop him from pursuing her - knowing that he was ultimately in line for the throne they were attempting to reclaim. Knowing that he should be with someone more like him.
Instead, she closed her eyes as he kissed her again, losing herself in her desire for the dwarf. Their bodies pressed against each other in the dark, tongue meeting tongue and hands gripping wet clothing.
When they pulled apart again, chests heaving, she looked down, once again conflicted.
She suddenly closed her eyes, brow furrowing, as an echoing voice filled her mind.
"Gandalf is coming for us," she murmured.
"What?" Kíli removed his hands from her, confused. He looked around, wondering if they could be seen where they were.
"He sent word to me just now." She took a breath, trying to ground herself. "He and Fíli are coming to find us and show us where they moved camp."
The two looked at each other with an awkward disappointment, then both averted their eyes, unsure what to say.
Andréa took off Kíli's coat and held it to his chest, unable to meet his gaze. "Thank you."
"Of course."
He put it back on, feeling quite out of sorts, just as a light appeared down the path.
Gandalf and Fíli walked under a barrier produced by Gandalf's staff, keeping them dry. Fíli carried a torch, and Gandalf had Andréa's staff in his other hand.
"Kíli?" Fíli called into the night.
Andréa moved to the opening and waved. "Here!"
The other two were soon upon them.
"There you are, brother," Fíli grinned. He looked them over, thinking they were dryer than he'd expected. "Good work finding cover."
"Thank you for coming to fetch us." Kíli forced a smile, though he felt somewhat irritated by the rescue, given what it had interrupted.
Gandalf passed Andréa her staff as the four made their way back to camp. "You should not have left this."
"Evidently," she admitted, her tone light. "Though my thinking was that it was safe back at camp, and I was safe here with Kíli." She gestured up at the sky. "I did not account for weather."
"You should be prepared in the event of an emergency," he admonished her.
She nodded, her expression sobering. "I know. It won't happen again."
Kíli frowned slightly at Andréa being scolded. He wanted to defend her, but wasn't sure how the grey wizard would respond. Knowing Andréa, she wouldn't want me to try to argue on her behalf anyway.
Andréa knew what Gandalf was getting at. The issue wasn't so much that she hadn't been able to keep them dry or light a path with her staff; if they'd been attacked, she'd have had no way to call for help or protect Kíli beyond her combat skills. Forgetting her staff made her less able to fulfill her oath.
While they walked, Kíli glanced at Andréa several times, but she seemed to keep her eyes low. Even when Fíli tried to make light conversation, she was mostly quiet. Kíli overcompensated, forcing his usual enthusiasm.
Once they'd been led back to their new camp location - inside a shallow cave - Andréa found her belongings with Bilbo and swiftly set down to sleep beside him without saying much to anyone else in the company.
That night her dreams were dark.
She walked alone with Kíli in the wet woods, unarmed. They stopped in the pouring rain and he spoke to her in his dwarf tongue, but she could not hear him.
"Kíli?"
A flash of lightning, and then they were surrounded by orcs. She could only stand frozen as they cut him down.
Another flash of lightning, and in his place was her father. His dead eyes seemed to weep in the flood.
In the morning, she woke with a heavy heart. Her fingers fumbled as she took down her hair to brush it out and re-braid it, and she could not shake the ghastly nightmares from her mind.
She purposely kept close to others in the company, not giving Kíli a chance to speak with her privately about what had happened the night before. Not wanting to look upon him, as each time she did, she recalled her awful dream.
As they set off, she inserted herself into a conversation that Bofur and Bombur were having - or rather that Bofur was having, directed at Bombur - and ended up keeping with them most of the day. She even struck up a conversation with Thorin later in the day as he was riding beside Gandalf.
Kíli tried to catch her attention many times, but she seemed to be doing all she could to avoid him without outright saying something. Any time he came near, she would find something else to get busy with.
By the time they broke to make camp and have supper, he'd become somewhat sullen.
As Kíli and Fíli gathered firewood together, Fíli paused.
"Did something happen last night, brother?"
"What?" Kíli paused momentarily, then continued his task. "Beyond being caught in the rain?"
"Did you offend Andréa in some way?"
"I don't believe so," he answered honestly.
"She's been avoiding you all day. Which is… different."
Fíli had noticed Kíli's interest in the wizard first, but it hadn't taken much to put together that she - normally - lit up at every opportunity to be alone with his little brother. It wasn't unusual for her to spend time with the others in the company, but the way she'd managed to avoid Kíli entirely for the day was out of character - and somewhat impressive given the many attempts he'd seen Kíli make to get her attention.
"Perhaps she's grown sick of me," he tried to sound unphased.
"You're sure nothing happened."
Kíli thought to himself. "Well…" He paused, standing with his arms full of wood. "She said something about her staff, and Gandalf scolded her about it."
Fíli's brows raised as he recalled the comment. He hadn't thought much on it at the time, but Gandalf had sounded disappointed.
"Ah, that's right. She said it wouldn't happen again." He pursed his lips, wondering why she'd take such a small criticism so hard, or why she'd be avoiding Kíli because of it. "Do you think she's embarrassed?"
"I don't know." Kíli shrugged. "She has been insecure lately."
Fíli nodded and thought for a moment, then laughed quietly to himself. "Perhaps she just doesn't want you getting her into any more trouble with the grey wizard."
Kíli frowned, looking into the middle distance.
Am I getting her in trouble?
Fíli noticed the way his younger brother had taken the comment and finished what he was doing. "Let's get back to camp."
Andréa was sitting beside Bilbo eating supper when Fíli and Kíli came over to join them.
She looked up and made eye contact with Kíli almost accidentally. They stared at each other while the brothers crossed the final few feet to where the others were seated.
The way that Kíli seemed to be silently pleading with her made her chest ache. She hadn't intended any harm in avoiding him, but realized he'd probably mistaken it as some form of rejection.
Kíli, meanwhile, noted the flicker of fear behind Andréa's silent stare, and wondered if he'd overstepped the night before.
Andréa forced a smile for the dwarves as they sat down. "Good evening."
"You boys just missed my recounting of The Old Took, who lived to be a hundred and thirty."
"Quite impressive for a hobbit," Andréa explained.
Kíli offered a polite smile, though admittedly wasn't that interested in hobbit tales. "Surely you'll live at least that long, eh, Bilbo?"
Bilbo let out an uneasy laugh.
"Shall we do some sparring after supper?" Fíli offered.
Andréa and Kíli locked eyes for a moment before she looked over to Fíli, and then down to her food. "Alright," she agreed. He said it would help with my confidence…
Though he noted her hesitation, Fíli was encouraged by her agreeing to spar with them. Maybe he'd imagined or read too far into her behaviour earlier in the day.
"What sort of sparring did you have in mind?" she wondered.
"Maybe some sword practice today?"
"Not as aggressively as with Thorin…?" she hedged.
Fíli raised his brows and nodded, recalling how she'd nearly been beheaded by their uncle. "We'll be careful."
"Unless you'd prefer something else?" Kíli offered, genuine concern tinting his otherwise lighthearted tone.
"No, no. That sounds preferable to throwing knives. At least I have some skill with a sword already," she laughed.
"But you won't get better without practice," Fíli chastised.
She tilted her head back and forth. "True… But another night."
"Do you plan to master all forms of combat?" Bilbo asked jokingly, nudging her arm.
"If that's what it takes," she answered too seriously, not looking up from her meal. "I want to overcome everything." She put a piece of potato in her mouth.
"That's a tall order," Bilbo remarked lightly.
"Especially for such a short wizard," Gandalf laughed, stopping as he walked past them.
She looked up at him with a slight smirk. "Then I shall grow wings."
"You would." The two gave each other knowing smiles before Gandalf excused himself to continue on to where he was intending to bed down for the night.
Fíli finished his meal. "Ambition alone won't be enough. Let's get you some practice, backup wizard."
She snorted but soon she followed the young brothers out of camp to a nearby space they could spar in.
Kíli had insisted that she spar with him, apparently not trusting Fíli to do no harm to her. Andréa rolled her shoulders, trying to shake the nerves from her bones as she squared up against a dwarf again, not having forgotten Thorin's intensity.
"It's just practice, Peony," Kíli murmured to her, the crooked grin on his lips more reassuring than teasing. He held his sword up and raised his brows, waiting for her to do the same.
They started slow, each testing the other's reflexes. Fíli watched silently from a short distance, studying her technique. He wasn't at all worried about Kíli being injured or accidentally cutting her; he'd sparred with his brother enough to know his skill.
Even if she had sliced a line across Thorin's fists.
It was a playful match, but they were both skilled. As they grew more comfortable, Kíli found himself laughing at her tricky angles. She came at him in ways that he wouldn't have thought of; sneaky, tricky maneuvers that a dwarf wouldn't bother with. His laughing put her at ease, and soon he picked up the pace.
She could read his moves easily enough - straight-forward, direct attacks - but there was no denying that he was stronger than her. Blocking his strikes with her sword only led to her struggling to keep him from bearing down on her, so she had to dodge and roll, and catch him off-guard with kicks and elbow jabs as they danced around each other. If it went on long enough, she was sure she'd tire before him and be overpowered.
When she tapped his back and danced away, Kíli heard Fíli laugh at him. His mouth twitched in annoyance and he went at her with more voracity. She met him in kind, and soon they both had beads of sweat on their brows.
He grabbed her wrist when she tried to smack his chest, and pulled her toward him, but she lifted her blade between them. He let go and teasingly smacked her sword with his, smirking at her. "Ah-ah."
She narrowed her eyes. Another strike. Dodged. They danced about each other, blades grazing against each other before changing position again.
She misjudged a lunge he made and barely avoided his sword, letting out a small noise of surprise. She moved in closer, feigning to strike. Instead she dodged his counter and ducked down below him.
She flipped her sword, jamming her pommel up into his chest, at his heart.
Kíli froze mid-strike, staring down at her sword in shock. It took his brain a second to register that she had not pierced him in any way; that she had only knocked him with her handle, and that he was fine.
Their eyes met, and her fierce battle demeanor dissolved into a sort of shocked horror.
"Well done!" Fíli cheered. "Looks like your sword skills need no practice." Then he laughed, chiding Kíli. "She could have killed you, brother!"
Andréa's hand trembled and she dropped her sword, her other hand covering her mouth as she knelt on the ground. "Sorry," she breathed.
She was shaking, the mental image of her stabbing Kíli in the chest too much to process. Her dream from the night before flooded her mind.
Kíli dead in the forest. Then her father.
Kíli relaxed his muscles and sheathed his sword, concerned by her reaction. "You did well."
"Shall we move on to axes, then?" Fíli asked.
Kíli offered a hand to help her up.
She grabbed her sword and forced herself off the ground, unable to look either of them in the eye. "I'm sorry. I can't do this right now." She sheathed her sword, still trembling, then retrieved her staff. "I'm sorry."
Shoulders hunched, she rushed past a confused Fíli with her eyes down, leaving the brothers standing alone in the woods.
Fíli sighed, looking over to Kíli with concern. "Seems that was of no help," he conceded.
Kíli rubbed the back of his neck, brow deeply furrowed. "I don't understand her behaviour."
The older dwarf nodded. "She's battling herself right now."
Kíli sighed. "No room for allies?"
Fíli snorted and pulled out his sword. "Come on, I'll spar with you."
When they returned to camp, they were greeted absent-mindedly by most of the company.
Bilbo looked over in confusion. "Where's Andréa?"
Kíli and Fíli raised their brows at each other.
"She left to return to camp before we did." Kíli said.
Fíli nodded. "You haven't seen her?"
Bilbo shook his head. "No, she went with you and hasn't been back."
Bofur, who had overheard this, walked up. "Why'd she leave without you?"
Fíli and Kíli exchanged a look, then Fíli shrugged. "She didn't want to spar."
Bofur rolled his eyes. "You two are useless. I'll go get 'er."
He put his hand up, gesturing for them not to follow as he headed in the direction they'd come from.
Bilbo's brow was raised in concern. "You don't think something's happened to her, do you?"
Kíli frowned, avoiding Bilbo's gaze. "She has her staff and her sword. She should be fine, even alone."
Fíli nodded, but Bilbo seemed unsure.
Eventually, the three of them settled around the fire together to wait for Bofur and the backup wizard's return.
When Bofur came upon Andréa, he found her sitting in a small clearing in the woods. The forest floor - usually dirt and decaying leaves for the most part - was a lush carpet of grass and small, white flowers, in a perfect circle around her. Given the staff at her side, he imagined she'd done this herself. As he walked closer, the honey-sweet smell of the blossoms overpowered his nose.
"Those are some nice flowers," he commented in greeting.
She looked up with a mild alarm from where she was sat, elbows on her knees, holding her necklace pendant. "Bofur?"
He walked over slowly and sat cross-legged in front of her in the flowers. "Can see why you'd prefer it out here to camp," he offered. "Much nicer."
She wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or not, but she was too emotionally exhausted to force a laugh.
Bofur sat in (what was to him) a comfortable silence, taking in deep breaths of the sweet floral scent. Now that he'd found Andréa safe, he felt less annoyed at the boys for losing track of her.
After a moment she finally spoke.
"Bofur… I think I should not have come with you all."
He considered what she said. "And why's that?"
She covered her forehead with her hand, laying her head in it, eyes closed. "All my thoughts turn to death."
Bofur was calm and spoke softly. "Whose death?"
She took a long breath and sighed. "My father's. I couldn't help him." She met his gaze, eyes wet. Her voice was barely a whisper. "What if I can't help anyone? What if I watch you die, too?"
He nodded, his brow slightly low as he considered the question seriously. "You may, that's possible." He picked a few of the white flowers. "Though you're certain to be of no use to the company if you leave."
"Aren't you scared?"
He reached a hand out to caress her cheek. "Oh certainly. We all are at times, lass. But we've a goal in mind, and a company to keep. So we must trust we'll have each other's backs." He waited a beat. "I've always trusted you had ours. I hope ye know we've yours as well."
She nodded, then covered her face, trying to stop her tears to no avail.
"There, there…" Bofur moved to sit beside her and wrapped an arm around her.
She leaned into his chest and wept, no longer able to contain the feelings she'd been trying to suppress.
"That's it." He wrapped his other arm around her and cradled her until she calmed down. "You jus' let it all out."
When she did eventually stop, she felt a calm she hadn't in days. She pulled away to wipe her face. "I'm sorry," she sniffled.
Bofur shook his head. "It's no bother. You feel a bit better now?"
She nodded. "Thank you, Bofur."
"Any time, love."
She started picking flowers and braiding them together.
After another minute of comfortable silence, she turned to look him in the eye. "I'm really glad that you're part of the company."
He felt quite touched by the comment and found himself surprised by it. "Thank you."
She finished her flower crown and put it atop her head. "I do want to help reclaim Erebor, but, more than that, I want to protect everyone."
Bofur started tucking the white flowers into his braids. "I think you'll do wonderfully. I really do."
She picked idly at the night phlox flowers. "Kíli and Fíli are helping me get better at battle."
Bofur nodded. "How is that going for you?"
"Mostly well, but…" She frowned. "Today it was too much, and I more or less ran off."
He nodded, thinking back to the brothers coming back to camp without her. "Were they too hard on you?"
She shook her head. "No, they were lovely. But I bested Kíli, and-" she fought back a pang of emotion. "There was a moment - it was just a brief moment, but…"
She mimed stabbing Bofur in the heart, her fist resting on his overcoat. "I hit him in the chest with my pommel and there was this look on his face, as though he thought I'd just stabbed him. As though… he was going to die." She shook her head. "I never want to see that look on his face again."
Bofur let out a snort. "That's natural. I don't aim to see that sort of look on anyone's face in the company."
"It hurts." She put her hand on her chest. "To care and worry over so many people at once."
"Mmm." Bofur looked up at the moon. "The way I see it, you can let love make you weak, or let it make you strong."
She mulled that over.
Can I find a way to have it make me strong?
Bofur started humming and then quietly singing.
Andréa pulled her knees to her chest and hugged them, closing her eyes to listen to the familiar song.
"The world was young, the mountains green,
No stain yet on the Moon was seen,
No words were laid on stream or stone
When Durin woke and walked alone."
When Andréa and Bofur walked back into camp, they both seemed in good spirits. He patted her shoulder and broke off to join Bombur and Bifur where they'd set up. Bifur said something to Bofur, which prompted him to show off the flowers in his braids quite proudly, miming some effeminate gestures to top it off.
Andréa walked over to where Bilbo, Fíli and Kíli were sitting near the fire. She took a seat on the end, beside Kíli, and flashed them all an easy smile.
Kíli noted the flowers in Bofur's braids matched the ones that she wore as a crown and wondered where they'd come from. He took a deep breath of their sweet fragrance.
"Bofur found you." Bilbo said with relief.
"Yes," she let out a small laugh. "Though I wasn't lost." She looked over to where Bofur was speaking with Bifur.
Or maybe I was.
Fíli furrowed a brow. "Where did you go?"
She looked into the fire and instinctively put a hand over her necklace. "Home. To pick some flowers."
Bilbo raised a brow. "Home?"
"Not literally." She tapped her staff. "Just a little taste of it."
Kíli smiled warmly, tracing a finger over the pale blossoms in her hair. "Flowers suit you."
She looked over at him, holding his gaze a moment before her eyes glanced at his lips and then away. "Mmm… I wanted to say to you," she began. "I haven't felt myself since that last Orc attack. I've had dark dreams, and doubt in my heart." She looked over her three usual companions, making eye contact with Bilbo and Fíli before settling on Kíli. "My apologies if I've acted strangely."
He put a hand on her shoulder and shook his head. "To be honest, you always act strangely."
At this, she broke into a laugh, followed by Kíli, then Fíli. Bilbo smiled, relieved she seemed to be feeling better.
She made eye contact with Fíli. "Will you show me the axe next?"
Fíli nodded, happy to hear she wanted to train some more. "Of course."
When it was time to sleep, Andréa set up her bedroll beside Bilbo's as usual, and laid down facing away from him, toward the outside of their camp.
Just as she was falling asleep, Fíli and Kíli came over with their bedrolls and set them up beside the non-dwarves, so that Fíli was on the far end and Kíli was between him and Andréa. She watched as Kíli settled on the ground beside her.
He flashed her a soft smile when he caught her looking, and pulled his blanket over his body.
As they laid in the dark, gazing silently at each other, she felt a now-familiar fluttering in her stomach. She found her eyes wandering over his features, lingering on his lips and then back to his dark, warm eyes.
He smirked, happy to have regained her attention, and watched as she fell into a swift sleep.
He thought back to the rain the night before, and wished the rest of the company was not all around them.