Hellooo everybody! -waves- Heh, heh...I actually had a kinda angsty story for this one, but then some on LJ gave me a glorious idea. -evil grin- Muhahaha! That, and the contest in this one prompted me...it was a real contest for this relay I was at a few years. My friends and I entered our friend Andrew in it. He lost. So sad. xD

Other than that, not much to say about this one...sorry for any horrible spacing problems and the whatnot. I'm beginning to think that this site hates me. x.x Lame. Umm, oh yes, the halter top and skirt Axel was threatening Roxy with in 'Rumor' makes an appearance here. xD The stories still aren't related, but...yes. Rawr.

Ahahaha. Yes. LAUGH WITH ME MINIONS...err...readers. ;D

Theme: Jealousy
Rating: T-ish

There were a thousand—no, a thousand and one—things wrong with the picture in front of him. He wanted to shoot whoever started this event in the foot, but there were way too many witnesses.

And half of them made up what made it all so wrong.

Well, maybe not half. There were only fifteen or so contestants in this stupid contest, and at least a hundred people at the event. Total aggravation messed with your math skills.

Roxas let out an irritated sigh and crossed his arms, kicking at the grass in front of him. Why, oh why did even bother to leave the house? Sure, this whole thing was for a good cause. Who wouldn't want to go to an all-night fair (complete with several rented carnival rides) and help raise money for the local hospital? It was all in good fun. Besides, a lot of the booths there were selling ice cream, and Roxas loved ice cream.

However, all of the ice cream in the world wouldn't convince him that this wasn't so very, very wrong—'this' being the fair's totally random contest of the night.

And this year's contest?

What guy looked the best in drag.

The blond groaned, noticing how much his friends were cheering. What the heck was wrong with them? This was not right! Not right at all!

His best friend, Hayner, stopped cheering for a second and slapped a hand on Roxas' shoulder, grinning goofily. "Hey man, lighten up! If anyone should be cheering right now, it should be you!"

"That's right," Olette, the only girl in their little group, agreed. She had a small smile on her face, but amusement still twinkled in her eyes. "C'mon where's your sense of humor? The crowd's going to love this, and we'll raise a lot of money for the hospital!"

"It'll be embarrassing," Roxas muttered, now staring at the grass. He refused to look at the contestants.

"Geez Roxas, it's not like you're the one up there," Pence, the last person in their quartet of friends, grinned. He gestured up towards the makeshift stage, where all of the contestants were waiting off to the side. "You should be happy we didn't make you do this!"

"No, just my boyfriend," the blond snarled. He looked up and glared at nothing in particular. He wanted nothing more than to leave, leave, leave and keep his pride intact. The whole freaking town knew about his relationship with Axel, and that was embarrassing enough. But his boyfriend—who wasn't really all that manly in the first place—dressed like a girl?

No, no, no, a thousand times NO!

However, he was fighting a losing battle. When the coordinator of the event had announced the contest, Axel had not only volunteered to go up there and make a fool out of himself (after seeing how excited everyone was about it), but let Hayner, Pence, and Olette dress him up in freakiest girly-outfit they could manage on such short notice. Olette had even done his hair.

And now he was going up in front of this crowd just to prove how idiotic he was!

Not that Roxas hadn't tried to stop him. Oh no, no, no, he had begged, pleaded, attempted to cry, and got down on his hands and knees. He had even threatened 'no bodily contact for a month', but Axel just gave him a half-smirk and said, "You wouldn't last. I'm irresistible."

How irresistible, though, was something Hayner, Pence, and Olette really did not need to know. Luckily they found something to shut the redhead up: an application of Olette's cherry-flavored lip gloss, to which Pence had laughed and said, "Now he's your cherry pie."

Bad thoughts...baaad thoughts.

Moving on to thoughts not cherry pie-related...

"Thank you, thank you all for coming out here tonight to help raise money for Curaga Medical Center!" The announcer and apparently host of the event, a round, hairy man wearing an oddly bright sweater, was standing at the front of the stage, microphone in hand. "Right now, we will have the start of our contest of the evening—each contest will come out here and perform to a song chosen completely at random, give themselves a spiffy female name, and then say a few words as to why they should win and be crowned Mr. Queen! Without further ado, let's begin!"

The crowd burst into frenzied cheers, except for Roxas, who was still standing with his arms crossing, glaring into space. Of course.

The...'contest' then began, sending all of the guys/girls/whatever dancing like crazy people. Roxas grudgingly watched, even though he wanted nothing more than to run far, far away. He thought he recognized a few people, though, as time wore on; Axel's frenemy Marluxia was up there (those two had known each other for ages, yet were constantly fighting about something stupid) and so was Mickey, a short, squeaky kid he somewhat knew. Ha, ha, his girlfriend Minnie had probably put him up to this. He was totally regretting it if the robotic way he danced to 'Hakuna Matata' was any indication.

Mr. Announcer certainly wasn't kidding when he said the songs would be chosen at random.

About halfway through the contestants, it was Axel's turn. Roxas hope for both of their sakes—but more for his own—that whatever song they picked for Axel was at least cool. Some kind of manly, gangsta music that involved no booty shaking, just a bunch of hand gestures. Yeah, that'd be...manly.

To his shock, though, some sort of salsa-like tune began blaring through the speakers. He frowned, trying to remember where he had heard the song before. After a moment, it came to him.

Oh no.

Oh hell no!

He wasn't really going to dance to--!

Oh baby when you talk like that,
You make a woman go mad.
So be wise and keep on,
Reading the signs of my body...

"Hello everybody!" Axel waved his arms and spoke in what Roxas assumed was his 'girly-man voice'. "I'm Lea, and my hips don't lie!"

And I'm on tonight,
You know my hips don't lie,
And I'm starting to feel it's right.
All the attraction, the tension,
Don't you see baby, this is perfection.

"Shoot me, shoot me, shoot me, kill me, kill me, kill me!" Roxas muttered with his hands over his ears, trying not to look at his boyfriend dressed in drag who was dancing to a song about sexy hips.

"Aw c'mon Roxas!" Olette was clapping along to Axel's very...fluid dance. Wow, had he ever taken belly dancing lessons or something? "He looks great up there!"

"Yeah, if it wasn't for his lack of chest, you'd almost think he was actually female." Hayner winked and continued cheering. Roxas couldn't believe it. Even Hayner was enjoying this! Was there no end to the embarrassment! And Pence was taking pictures of it all! The horror! The absolute total proof of all the shame!

He was going to kill Axel. No, first he was going to find out where he learned to shake his hips like that and then kill him.

There were a couple of cheering girls towards the front of the stage, screaming and squealing in appreciation. Axel shook his hips towards the edge, winking appreciatively at the squeaking fans. He was way too good at dancing to this 'music' for Roxas's taste. What was he doing, getting all of those females so excited? The whole town knew he was a flaming homosexual! Couldn't they tell he was just degrading himself by doing this?

Pence was busy taking pictures and laughing along the rest of the audience. Everyone was clapping to the beat of the song, really getting into it. To Roxas' horror, one girl yelled, "WHOO-HOO! TAKE IT OFF!"

"That does it!" Roxas growled and started tearing his hair out, trying to find a way through the mass of cheering people so he could beat Axel to a bloody pulp. Yes, that would be fantastic. No more hip swaying for Axel, nuh-UH.

He didn't get very far in his trek, however, when someone pulled on his shoulder and yanked him back. "Roxas! Where do you think you're going?" It was Hayner.

Roxas narrowed his eyes into little blue slits. "I'm going to teach that dumbass a lesson or two. Or eight. Or thirteen. How could he do this?"

"Aw c'mon Roxas," Pence grinned, snapping away on the camera. "You have to admit that he does look good up there. Did you see the way those girls up front were screaming earlier? He's definitely going to win."

"Arrguh..."

"Hmm..." Olette, who had been fairly quiet up until this point (although she did clap along to the song) stared at the blond and cocked her head a bit. Roxas was about to ask her why he was being scrutinized in the middle of a squealing fangirl audience when she broke into a small smile.

"What...?" Roxas was getting worried. Olette had that twinkle in her eye, the same one she had had when she was dressing Axel up for his 'performance.'

"I get it now!" She clapped her hands together and started bouncing on her heels. "You're jealous, aren't you?" Naturally, she had spoken that last sentence loudly with gusto, causing everyone in a five-foot radius of them to stare at the blond like he was some kind of sideshow freak.

Well, he already felt like one. He was the one dating the hip-swinging, belly-dancing freak onstage, after all.

"I am not jealous!" Roxas hissed. "Whatever gave you a stupid idea like that?"

Olette was unaffected by his harsh tone, mostly because Hayner and Pence were now grinning deviously and nodding in agreement. "You're jealous that he's getting all this attention from all these girls and hasn't looked at you once since he's been up there. Right?"

Damn it. Olette was always one to get to the heart of matter.

Roxas, however, didn't let it deter him. "I am not jealous of that lamewad!" His hands clenched into fists, now unable to look any of his friends in the eye; instead, staring at some point past all of their heads. "He's stupid for doing this, and those girls can scream over him all they want. He's stupid. Like this stupid contest, which is—"

"Stupid?" Hayner supplied, causing Olette and Pence to burst into fits of laughter. Roxas just growled and stomped towards a relatively empty part of the fairgrounds, shoving his way through hoards of people. His friends just rolled their eyes at each other, knowing he'd calm down once Axel was offstage.

--

"Stupid hips...stupid contest...stupid...grrrr." Roxas definitely wasn't in the best mood at the moment. He had disappeared near the port-o-potties, hiding behind a nearby tree. He hoped nobody would bother him there.

He couldn't believe Olette had accused him of being jealous. Jealous! Jealous of what? A bunch of idiot, screeching fans? Axel's booty-shaking abilities? The fact that the redhead was most likely going to win the title of 'Mr. Queen' and people wouldn't stop bugging him all night?

Roxas heaved a sighed, slumping against the tree trunk until he found himself sitting in dirt. Okay, maybe he shouldn't have just run off like that—his friends were only teasing him, after all—but the last thing he wanted was to come off as being envious of people who liked a good booty dancer. He knew he and Axel had a pretty good relationship—as scandalous as it was in their small town—but honestly, it was hard not to feel a stab of envy at the fact Axel would rather dance to stupid music in front of a large crowd than, say, feed his boyfriend ice cream.

He sighed again, thinking of just spending the rest of the night curled up at the base of the tree when he heard footsteps lightly crunching the grass behind him. He peered over his shoulder and saw that flamer, still dressed in a halter top and skirt. He'd ditched the sandals, Roxas dully noted, and had put his trademark black boots back on.

Gah. The redhead looked absolutely ridiculous. Roxas didn't want to talk to him while was wearing a freaking skirt—and he still had the makeup on. What the hell?

"Roxas?"

"Go away." The blond pulled his knees up to his chest, burying his face in them.

"Oh come on." You could practically hear the smirk. "Don't tell me I was that bad up there that you felt the need to run off."

"Don't you have a gaggle of girls to entertain?" Roxas' muffled voice asked, not bringing his face up to meet his boyfriend's.

Axel sighed, and Roxas heard him plop in the dirt next to him. "Look, this whole thing wasn't even my idea. Your friends dragged me into it, remember?"

"You didn't even try to stop them."

"So? It was all in good fun, right?" He poked the side of Roxas' head, causing the blond to look up with an angry glare. The redhead laughed and poked him again. "Don't even try to look happy. Geez."

"It's not that, it's just..." Roxas rolled his eyes, trying to ignore the fact that Axel was smirking again. "You look like an idiot and I can't believe that everyone liked you so much. If you didn't do that stupid belly-dancing thing, you would've been booed off the stage in a heartbeat."

Axel frowned, not getting it at first. After a moment, a mischievous glint grew in his eyes and another smirk formed on his mouth. "Aww, was my widdle Roxy-poo jealous of all my fans?"

"Shut up."

"You were!" Axel was grinning now, unable to stop the laughter that racked his body. "You were jealous of all the attention I was getting!"

"Shut. Up." Blue eyes glared into green, attempting to smolder them.

Attempt failed.

"HA! Ha, ha, ha!" Axel didn't stop laughing.

"Fine!" Roxas threw his arms up in defeat, leaning his head against the tree trunk and not looking at Axel. "Fine, I'll admit it! I was jealous. I was jealous because I thought we were going to this fair together and I'd finally get you to eat some ice cream, but then you got swarmed by all these people and I didn't have you anymore. Yes, I was jealous. You're stupid," he added as an afterthought, quickly standing up and walking towards somewhere, anywhere. Roxas wasn't the type to pour his emotions out to anyone, yet alone Axel. That rambling was closest to a heart-to-heart he'd spoken since getting together with the redhead.

Roxas was still blindly walking away, only thinking about how much of an idiot he had just sounded like when two skinny arms suddenly wrapped around his waist, halting his progress. He was yanked backwards and collided with the owner of the arms, whom of course was Axel.

Roxas spun around in his hold and stared up at him. Man, he really hated being so much shorter than the redhead. "What are you doing?"

"You're the stupid one," Axel muttered, leaning down to press their foreheads together. "Not even a gaggle of giggling girls could keep me away from you."

The blond was unable to hide a small smile, finally reaching his arms to wrap them around the redhead's slim hips. "But they just did, flamer. Everybody saw you dancing."

"Hello," Axel sighed. "It's called fanservice. Duh."

"Suuure." Roxas rolled his eyes before they slid shut in response to Axel's descending lips. The kiss started out slow, as they usually did, but quickly gained speed—and tongue. Damn Axel and his kinky tongue. Damn it all.

Instead of reciprocating like he normally did (although he kept reminding himself that they were in a public place), Roxas pulled back and frowned.

"What?" Axel cocked his head, sending his mass of spikes flying.

"If you ever wear makeup again—which I hope you don't plan on anytime soon," Roxas started, tweaking Axel's nose. "Don't go for the cherry lip gloss. It tastes funny."

"Hmm..." The redhead traced his fingers up and down Roxas' spine, sending involuntary shivers through the younger boy. "What flavor would you prefer, then?"

"Your own, thank-you-very-much." A predatory grin made its way onto Axel's face. "That could be arranged..." He burst out laughing before running off, wanting to escape before the blond caught on and starting threatening him bodily harm—and not in the good way.

Roxas' face heated up a moment later and he instantly started running to catch the redhead. "Not like that you pervert!"

"Oh, but you know you like it!"

"Do not!"

"Liar!"

"Flamer!"

"Ice cream lover!"

"GIRL!"

"...Ouch." Axel stopped running, but he was still grinning. "At least I can shake my booty. Unlike some ice-cream loving blonds I know that don't even have a butt to shake."

"That's not what you said last night!" Roxas was glaring at him now, probably so out of breath he had no idea what he had just said.

"Nah, I was making other noises last night." Axel raised an eyebrow, resting his arms on Roxas' shoulders, who had finally caught up with him. "Tell you what—I'll go for some vanilla-flavored lip gloss. Vanilla-flavored me. What do you think?"

"You suck."

"No, how many times must we go through this—I blow."

"...Pervert."

"Aw, you love me for it." Axel dove in for another kiss.

"Yeah, yeah. You're lucky I don't lie like your hips."

Smooch. "Cornball."

"Shut up and buy me ice cream."

"After you help me out of the skirt, okay?" Insert evil grin.

"...Grrr."

"And now, our crowned Mr. Queen is..." The announcer's voice came out loud and suddenly, causing Roxas and Axel to jump out of each other's embrace. Where the heck had Mr. Announcer gotten a megaphone? Whatever.

"...Lea, whose hips don't lie!"

Roxas' mouth fell open and Axel wore a similar expression of shock before he quickly covered it with a grin. He turned and slipped and arm around the blond's shoulders, leading them back to the stage. "Hear that, Roxy? I'm royalty."

"You wish."

"That means you're my slave."

"What!"

"So, you were about to help me out of this skirt, my slave?"

"...I hate you."

--

Slaaave! The T-rated kinkyness of it all! Le RAWR. ;D

Anyway, I hope you guys liked it. -sweatdrops- Only one more after this, wahhh. So sad. But I have another LJ challenge (this time RikuxSora centered) set that I'm going to be posting once I'm done with this, so look out for that. :D

Like? Didn't like? Want some brownies? xD At any rate, please review! You guys are all awesome like that. I love how much people are loving these oneshots. It fills me with warmth. -grins-