"You gotta take What You Can, while you can, cause some shitbird could put a .22 to the back of your head. Any. Second."
Lenny downed another shot and pondered the wisdom in mulling over the words of a guy he was forced to kill for stabbing him in the back, figuratively and literally. Half truths are dangerous to one's mental health, he figured. But is that to say they ought to be ignored outright?
He concluded that doing so is as detrimental as buying into such ideas lock, stock and barrel. But most of all, Lenny missed the times he thought the two of them understood each other. He needed to understand how it happens that a best friend comes to view you as expendable, deserving not only abandonment but utter destruction.
He'd spent the better part of a month asking himself that question, and no matter how many self-serving answers he came up with, he felt no better about himself. What did gel, after Lenny had worked up the courage to suggest it to himself, was that he was reaping exactly what he had sown ever since his "specialty" got him thrown off the force.
That realization was starting to sink in deep, as was the ensuing depression. In hindsight, it was beyond naïve to have made a living leeching other people's very lives and not expect it to happen to him. Glorious hindsight.
What the hell else was he supposed to do though? Playback was the only thing he believed in all these years. It was the only thing capable of giving him what he wanted – an alternative to his miserable existence, drenched in corruption, failure and No Sex For You Fucker. He honestly believed he was doing the world a favour by giving it an inconsequential temporary escape from reality.
But the time had come to face reality at long last. He wasn't helping anyone, least of all himself. He was propagating the illusion that life doesn't have to hurt, ever, and none of his customers were better people for having chosen to vicariously indulge their psychotic fantasies of being murderous thugs, little girls or People Who Didn't Fail Where They Did. They just hid the truth from the world for that little bit longer.
But what to do about it. What to do about it. It was the only thing he could do right, dispensing stolen information. Could life really be that cruel, leaving him capable of doing nothing but wrong? Or was there a course of action he wasn't seeing?
Little did poor Lenny know that the answer to his question would come and find him, and that it'd be more than he ever bargained for.
WE ARE THE CHURCH OF THE NEW EPOCH
YOU ARE BENEATH US
YOU HAVE HAD YOUR CHANCE AND YOU HAVE FAILED US
THE TIME HAS COME TO SET THINGS RIGHT
FOLLOW, LEAD, OR GET OUT OF THE WAY
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED