Chapter 20:
"Why am I the gadfly?" Kirigiri asked.
"I get what Fujisaki is saying, it's because it would be completely out of character and don't worry, I'll give you some pointers." Naegi said.
"I think it would be hilarious." Leon added.
Celeste sighed. "This is what you're going to think up now."
Hagakure scratched his head.
"Here, I'll start." Naegi said. "Oi, Monokuma!"
"Yes!"
"Will the third motive be ... cake?"
"What? Cake? Why would I have cake be the third motive? Don't you know doughnuts are so much better?"
. "High-five!" Asahina said, raising her hand.
. "So, the cake's a lie?" Fujisaki said. "Why am I not surprised? You are the most evil robot this side of GLaDos."
. "There IS NO CAKE! THERE NEVER WAS!"
. "What about the cookies?"
. "What cookies?"
. "Oh, come on. 'Come to the Despair Side. We have cookies!' The marketing line practically writes itself."
. "Naegi, are those both internet memes?" Kirigiri asked.
. "Why, yes, yes, they are."
. "So, you and Fujisaki want me to mess with Monokuma by the power of internet memes?"
. "Essentially."
. "Has Maizono been keeping you up all night?"
. "This whole time you've been trying to mess with me?" Monokuma sounded indiginant.
. "And it's working."
. "No, it isn't."
. "Yes, it is."
. "Just stop, Naegi."
. "You want it to stop? Let us out, no strings attached... except for the trauma you/ve already put us all through over these past five days."
. "Never."
. "You know I've been looking at this situation the wrong way the whole time. One way would be us trapped in here with you. However, there's another way to look at it."
. "And that is?"
. "You're trapped in here with us."
. "What?"
. "Every failed murder opens up a new floor. And since you're somewhere in here as well, that gives you less and less room to manuver. And we get better at figuring out murders. In essence, everyone's death can be converted into another way to stop you-Oh god, what am I thinking?"
. "You know? You remind me of someone I've seen before. White hair. Wild name too. He was always having the same line of reasoning. The two of you would get along famously."
. "You mean, there's someone whose normal thought process follows that?" Celeste asked. "I wonder if we would ever meet this person."
. ""Hey, Monokuma. You're so lucky Death the Kid isn't here. He'd have your short, asymmetrical hide in a flash. Bang! Bang!" Makoto held his hands in finger gun positions.
"Master Makoto Naegi, how do you know about Soul Eater?"
"Yamada, this is the age of the Internet, and unlike the rest of you prodigies, I didn't really have a skill to hone, meaning not only could I explore all sorts of stuff, I can cross-reference it so much."
. "What do you mean, prodigies?" Asahina asked.
. "Well, I mean, all of you are already well-known in your fields, despite all of you, aside from Hagakure, being teenagers."
. "Fair point."
. "You know, it's almost time for bed." Monokuma said. "I'll be seeing you later." Monokuma waddled out of the cafeteria, and the nighttime announcement played, and at that point, everybody filed off to bed.
. At midnight, Celeste Ludenberg opened her eyes from sleep.
. "Damn it, I can't go back to sleep." She remembered the notebook inside her desk. "If I'm going to sit around here, I might as well plan for the third trial."
. She sat at the desk, scribbling plans.
. "Okay, Leon and Asahina can be the runners between the trial room and the crime scene. They're clearly the most athletic. And speed is of the essence."
. She pressed her pen against the notebook. "Now, who should we have to guard the crime scene? Yamada, and Hagakure? No. Both are dimwitted. Someone could easily get the jump on them. Naegi? Too vulnerable once I made the plan public. Maizono? Yes, yes, that could work. But with whom? Putting Naegi there works now."
. She sat back.
. "Okay, so Naegi and Maizono guard the crime scene. Kirigiri and Fujisaki could serve the role as detectives. So who does that leave? Togami and Genocider for trial discussion. And myself. And Yamada and Hagakure."
.Celeste pondered a moment. "Yeah, yeah, that would work." She was tired and went back to bed.
. All of a sudden, she opened her eyes and beginning scribbling furiously.
. "Wait, I'm not accounting for the victims and a murderer. What happens if Maizono is the victim? Do I continue to have Naegi guard the crime scene? Considering the emotional bond between the two of them and how physically vulnerable the guy is."
. Celeste looked at the time. It was one AM.
. "Well, that did me some good, expending some intellectual energy, even if it's for unpleasant situations such as this was exactly what I needed to go sleep."
. And then odd thought popped into her head, "what I presented my plan to the others, and then I subverted my own plan?"
. As she drifted off to sleep, Celeste's mind wouldn't let go of the possibility.
. When she woke up, the thought still hadn't left her head.
. "Why am I so desperate to beat Monokuma by pointing out flaws in his setup? What's wrong with beating him with his own game?"
. "Her consciousness said. 'Nothing you haven't done before. If you stop to think about it, you've ruined countless lives with your underground gambling prowess. Who knows how many people had shady connections and were riding on that money? You've screwed everybody you've ever met out of everything they've ever owned. What's one more time?"
. "But those times I wasn't ending other people's lives. They still lived. I didn't kill them. If they were in that position, it was still their own fault."
. "But how many times did people not take you seriously because you were a teenage girl? And they mistook Celeste Ludenberg as a pretty face."
. "More times I care to admit."
. "It wasn't until you built your reputation from the ground-up that people really took you seriously."
. Celeste shook her head. "Am I murdering out of guilt? And if so, what right do I have to bring my victim into dealing with my guilt?"
. "What guilt? Don't you want to get out of here?"
. "Yes, I want to get out of here. Who doesn't?"
. "An honest answer with yourself. Is that why you started playing chessmaster with the other students to counter Monokuma's plans? Because you take pride and knowing a game so well that you can guarantee yourself victory. You're not a general, you're just a gambler."
. "Yes. I suppose that's true."
. The Monokuma morning announcement played.
. "I guess that's my cue to go get breakfast."
. When Celeste entered the cafeteria, Kirigiri was also there.
. "Hello, Kirigiri."
. "Hello, Celeste."
. In the twenty minutes both sat there, neither talked much.
. And then Leon came in with Asahina.
. "I'm telling you, play me one on one."
. "What? You'd beat me hands down. It doesn't matter that I have a couple inches on you. You've played basketball a lot longer than I have. I've only played pickup games."
. "So?"
. "What are you two doing?" Celeste asked.
. "She's been trying to convince me to play her one on one. She'd beat me, hands down."
. "Ah, I see."
. "There's sport jerseys in the store room. " Kirgiri said.
. "There are?" Asahina said. "Well, if Leon won't play me one to one, perhaps one of you two will. AH- Maizono. I'm drafting you. You and me vs. Celeste and Kirigiri, two and two."
. "Huh?" The idol was confused.
. "Wait, there's ten of us." Asahina said, excitedly. "That means full-court five on five! I wonder if Monokuma will referee."
. "I think you're jumping the gun a bit." Leon said.
. "I'm still confused." Maizono said with a blank face. "Full-court? Five on Five? Huh?"
. "Maizono, don't worry about it. If you really as athletic as you claim to be from all that dancing as idol, you'll be able to handle it just fine."
. "That's what I mean. I don't know the first thing about basketball."
. "Well, you see, basketball was invented in 1891 by this Canadian with peach baskets-"
. " I think she just need the rules, not a full-blown history." Leon interjected.
. "Oh, well, it's simple. You dribble the ball up and down the court, and put the ball in the basket. If you put the ball in, you get points. The team with the most points at the end of a game wins the game."
. "I don't know the first thing about basketball. What's dribbling?"
. "What's dribbling? I was expecting Hagakure to ask that. Well, dribbling is when you bounce the ball up and down in a controlled manner."
. "So how long is the game?"
. "Four quarters of twelve minutes with a halftime of about twenty minutes."
. "That seems arbitrary."
. "Eh—it kinda is."
. "Hey, Monokuma!" Asahina called.
. "Yes?" Monokuma popped out.
. "There's ten people left, do you think you'd be willing to referee a five on five basketball game."
. "What? You want to me to be referee."
. "Yeah. You've got multiple androids of you. You and your rules lawyering, you'd make the perfect referee. Plus you got the whole color motif down perfectly. Put on an announcement at some point today, and game on."
. "You know, when I started this High School Life of Mutual Killing, this is not what I had in mind."
. "Believe me, Monokuma, when I woke up today, this isn't what I had in mind either." Celeste said.
. "If you don't want to play, then why haven't you objected yet?" Leon asked.
. "Asahina is certainly plucky- for a lack of a better word. Once she starts going, she doesn't stop, and nothing stands in her way."
. "I can agree to that."
. "So what did you have in mind?"
. Meanwhile, Asahina went around banging on people's doors.
. "Naegi! Wake up! Wake up!"
. Naegi opened the door rather groggily.
. "Not now, Maiz-, oh, Asahina."
. "We're having a five on five basketball game today."
. "What?"
. "Monokuma's refereeing and setting the time."
. "Huh?"
. "Yeah, I'll get you when it's time."
. Asahina next went to Genocider's room.
. "Knock. Knock. Knock."
. "Knock. Knock. Knock."
. "Huh?"
. Genocider opened the door.
. "S'up, Mrs. Mammaries."
. "Mrs. Mammaries?"
. "Yeah."
. Asahina's enthusiasm waned considerably.
. "We're having a five on five basketball game today."
. "When?"
. "I don't know."
. "Will my White Knight be participating?"
. "I'll get Leon, Hagakure, and Naegi to drag him over if need be."
. "Excellent."
. Asahina then went to Fujisaki's room.
. "Ah, Fujisaki."
. "Yes?"
. "We're having a five-on-five basketball in the gymnasium later today if you're willing to come."
. "Or else?"
. "Or else... what?"
. "Come up with something, you can't have dangling 'else.'"
. "Or else... we don't have a game?"
. "Sorry, programming joke. The If-Else command."
. "Ah, I see. Wait, no I don't. What's an If-Else command?"
. "If-Else is a basic programming command. If 'A' is true, do B. If 'A' is not true, do C. That's it in a nutshell."
. "Okay, you learn something new everyday."
. "Is that all you came to tell me?"
. "Yep. See ya later."
. Asahina then went to Yamada's room. After knocking several times, she determined he was on another floor. She didn't even bother knocking on Togami's door. She knew he would be in the library.
. Hagakure was strangely away from his room as well. Eh, she'd tell Togami next and see if she couldn't find them on the way.
. Sure enough, Togami was in the library.
. "What is it?"
. "We're going to need you for something."
. "And that something is?"
. "A five-on-five basketball game."
. "I'm sorry? I don't play sports."
. "Well, get out of your comfort zone. Or is the great Byakuya Togami not ever going to understand that the mind and the body are connected."
. And suddenly a voice called out, it was Yamada.
. "You know, Lelouch Lamperouge had the exact same thing happen to him. He spent so much time on his mind that his athletic ability was nothing. It came back to bite him on several occasions."
. "That's rich, coming from you."
. "Are you calling me fat?"
. "Maybe."
. "You know what, fine, let's set this on the basketball court. Asahina ,your game will determine which of us is in superior physical condition."
. "Uh, sure." Asahina said.
. Togami smirked. "We shall see."
. "Now to find Hagakure." Asahina muttered to herself.
. After several hours, she couldn't find Hagakure. Was he still asleep? Had she just been missing him? She had even snuck in to ask Alter Ego if Hagakure had stopped by, and the answer was no.
. At 11:15, a Monokuma announcement appeared.
. "Greeting alls. Please gather in the gymnasium for a bear-y special event."
. Asahina looked up excitedly. "It must be time for the game." She raced to the gymnasium where the other nine students, Hagakure included, were already there.
. "Alright, students. Courtesy of Asahina, we're gonna have ourselves a ball game!"
. Asahina was excited.
. "At least, that's what was expected for me to say, however since the money on the table hasn't been enough, there's been a change of plans. Here's an envelope for everybody, containing your most important secrets!" Monokuma said. "If one of you doesn't commit a murder within the next four days, I'll reveal them to everybody."
. Naturally, Naegi had a question.
. "How?"
. "I'm sorry?"
. "How are you going to reveal them to everybody?"
. "I'll read them aloud."
. "To us. All of whom are in a closed system."
. "So?"
. "So? Are you saying you're going to reveal them to the whole world?"
. "Yes."
. "How?"
. "I just can."
. "Why should we believe you? Hey?" Naegi was suddenly muffled by Kirigiri.
. "I'm only going to say this once. But shut up. Your smartass comments are forcing Monokuma to flesh out his motive. And that's stupid."
. And with Monokuma's introduction of the motive, the students dispersed. Leon noticed how fast Asahina left the gymnasium, almost to the point of sprinting.
. Leon was about to knock on Asahina's door when it occurred to him that perhaps Asahina needed some time alone. Her bold basketball plan had been dismantled right in front of her.
. "That was cruel, Monokuma."
. "How did you know I was there, Leon?"
. "Please, I've developed a sense for when players would try to steal second base on me. And after all these days, we're on Day 6. You have a tendency to pop up where you can try and stirrup the most mischief."
. "Is that so?"
. "Yeah."
. "Well, I do have to keep the School Life of Mutual Killing progressing smoothly."
. "No, you don't."
. "Yes, I do."
. "Then what's your angle? Why are you doing this?"
. "To cause despair."
. "De-constructing the idea of talent is more likely." Celeste said, approaching.
. "Upppu, is that so?"Monokuma said, vanishing into the ether.
. "Monokuma has presented a third motive. Everybody else is already meeting in the cafeteria. I have a plan."
. "Is that so?"
. "Yes. I spent all night working on it."
. "Tell me, Celeste, did you know about the motive before Monokuma presented it today?"
. "Goodness, me. No. Of course not."
. "But you conveniently have a plan."
. "Yes."
. "Excuse me, but you seem skeptical."
. "So what if I am?"
. "Well, could you at least bring Asahina with you? You should at least hear the plan. No one is co-ercing you into anything."
. Leon knocked on the door, and pressed the intercom.
. "Asahina. Asahina."
. Asahina opened the door..
. "Leon! Celeste."
. "Greetings, Asahina. The rest of us are in the cafeteria. Would you and Leon care to join us?"
. "No!" The door slammed.
. "Oh well." Celeste sighed.
. "Well, see ya later." Leon said.
. "You're not going to re-consider.?"
. "No. I'm not."
. "How interesting. You've never objected to my plans before."
. "Your plans were never so devious."
. "Devious? What ever do you mean?"
. "Does the rest of the group know when you construct your little plan?"
. "What's your secret?"
. "I'm sorry."
. "You're acting very suspicious."
. "No you're acting suspicious."
. "I am trying to come up with a plan."
. "What seems to be the problem?" Kirigiri had arrived.
. "Leon doesn't want to come." Celeste said.
. "Are you trying to bait me? It's not going to work." Leon said, as he walked away to his room.
. "What's with him?"
. "I think I know, but I'm not entirely sure."
. "And Asahina?"
. "Still in her room. She refused to come out."
. "The two have been spending a rather large amount of time together."
. "Oh, I hadn't known that."
. "Well, they have. I've seen them around the school together."
. "Ah. Is everybody still in the cafeteria?"
. "Yes, but you're not going to keep Togami there for long. So you'd better come back."
. "Okay."
. The two headed back to the cafeteria.
. "So what's this 'grand' plan you've prepared?" Togami said. "You better not be wasting my time."
. "Yeah, you better not be wasting my White Knight's time." Genocider said, waving her scissors.
. "Eeck." Yamada said. "You have those scissors?"
. "Sure. Why not?" Naegi sighed. "As if, this life can play itself completely straight otherwise."
. "Dudes, so we got a serial killer primed and ready to kill, and we're just accepted this?" Hagakure said.
. "No, Genocider. Put those away!" Togami said. "You could poke someone's eye out."
. "Yes, my White Knight." Genocider said, sheathing her scissors.
. "That one's a really scrappy one." Fujisaki commented.
. "Scrappy? How so? Like the Trope?" Naegi asked.
. "No, it was actually more of a reference to Sonic 2."
. "What?"
. "Enough. Fujisaki, you can explain your little reference later." Celeste said.
. "Alright."
. "So there's now eight of us." Maizono said.
. "It appears that way." Kirigiri said.
. "What about 'Hina? Or Leon?" Hagakure said.
. "I asked both to come. However, both turned me down." Celeste said.
. "Alright, let's get on with it." Togami was impatient.
. "Well, the basic idea is this. Since the trial participation isn't limited to the trial room itself. I was going to present a co-ordinated way to improvise reasoning better."
. "And how is that?"
. "Well, the idea was to leave Naegi and Maizono at the crime scene."
. "And?"
. "You know, it's a real shame that neither of the athletes agreed to show up. They would know that their role would be running from the crime scene to the trial room, and back."
. "The rest of us, save for Kirigiri, will be in the trial room discussing the murder and trying to work it out."
. "So what will I be doing?" Kirigiri said.
. "You're not going to be a gadfly. You're going to be a loose cannon."
. "Okay, but why me?"
. "Because your reasoning skills are one of the best here, and you proved to be a great help in the last trial despite missing the murders, relatively speaking, of course, considering you spent the time in between the first and second trials trapped."
. "Appreciate the compliment."
. "And that's pretty much it."
. "That's it?" Togami said.
. "Do you see a problem with it Togami?"
. "Several."
. "Such as?"
. "What if Naegi or Maizono gets killed?"
. "Then two other people take their place."
. "Which two?"
. "Probably Yamada and Hagakure."
. "What if there are two separate bodies in two locations?"
. "Then all four will be on guard duty. And Asahina will go to one of them and Leon will go to the other one."
. "And what if two of those four are dead?"
. "Then we improvise."
. "Of course we do."
. "Any other objections?"
. "What if someone attacks Asahina or Leon?" Togami said, eyes shifting to Kirigiri.
. "I'm sorry?"
. "What if the murderer is on guard duty?"
. "Oh, I hadn't thought about that.I guess we'll have to chance it."
. "You don't flesh out your plans enough."
. "Considering that this is one of my more fleshed out plans in my life."
. "Yeah, I have several more flaws."
. "Such as?"
. "What if we have two different murderers who murder separate victims?"
. "Then we have a really secretive class."
. "Don't joke like that."
. "Why should it matter to you? You don't give a crap as long as you survive."
. Monokuma suddenly appeared.
. "Up-pupu. Well, this is new. You're all banding together to respond to a murder. I didn't think that would happen."
. "Yeah, well, people can bond surprisingly well when their lives are in danger." Celeste said.
. "But relationships formed intense danger never work out. Haven't you heard that before?"
. "This isn't forming romantic relationships."
. "In any case, I wonder how long your plan will hold up. They say no plan ever survives contact with the enemy."
. "Yes, that's true." Togami said.
. "How do you think I became so successful on the underground gambling circuit? I improvised." Celeste countered.
. "Yes, but you had the element of surprise then."
. "That's true."
. "However, now you don't." Togami said, as he walked out of the cafeteria, with Genocider following him.
. Slowly, everybody except Maizono and Celeste were left in the cafeteria.
. "Why are you still here, Maizono?"
. "Because I wanted to ask you something."
. "And that is?"
. "If one of us dies, why would you sub out the other?"
. "Because the emotional impact would probably get to the other one."
. "I see."
. "Is that all?"
. "I have one more question."
. "And that is?"
. "Why are you coming up with these plans? When I first saw you, I had you pegged as someone you didn't care about anyone else unless you could use them. You're the Queen of Liars."
. "So?"
. "I'm saying that all things considered, given your personality, you should have stayed away from the rest of us. "
. "Well, is that so?"
. "'Should' probably isn't the right word. But the fact remains, your actions don't match up with what's known about your past."
. "You'd been looking into my past."
. "I'm saying that there was something unusual when I checked you out on the forums. Your infomraton seemed a little off."
. "How so? Naegi and Kirigiri didn't have any information on them."
. "They're relative unknowns. It doesn't surprise me that there was little information on them."
. "So what's wrong with my information?"
. "The forums were filled with posts from current and past classmates about how they knew the students. I dug deep enough, and I noticed something weird. Whereas everybody else had at least several elementary school stories from old classmates, all of the information and stories about you seemed to come within the last three years or so. And all of them came from your gambling opponents."
. Celeste's eyes widened.
. "Why you'd dig so deep?"
AUTHOR'S NOTE: That comparison between Monokuma and Death the Kid was one of the first things I ever wrote for this fic. And yes, I do plan on future chapters being about 4,000 words. The story is getting pretty meaty. Please leave a review, if you feel so inclined.
Oh, check out a sorta-fledging Tumblr page where I'll post things about this fic if you're interested in beta ideas. Who knows, you might even see some scrapped lines? It's AnotherStatsGuy. Also, the specific tag I'm using is #SDHSL Smartass. So if you feel so inclined, ask me a question using that #. I also have a Twitter page. Also, AnotherStatsGuy.