SDHSL Smartass

by AnotherStatsGuy

AU: In which Naegi doesn't get knocked out by Oowada's punch, but is merely dazed. And the character development takes over from there. (Currently Naezono due to story's development) Are you ready to have your emotions ping-pong like your canon experience? Author's Notes contain information. References abound. Sequel will be a crossover. (When I get to it.)

21. Cues, Calculus, & Celeste's Capers

Chapter 21

"The forums were filled with posts about how they knew the students. I dug deep enough, and I noticed something weird. Whereas everybody else had at least several elementary school stories from old classmates, all of the information and stories about you seemed to come within the last three years or so."
. Celeste's eyes widened.
. "Why you'd dig so deep?"
. "Remember how Makoto Naegi and I used to go to the same middle school?"
."Yeah."
. "Well, I was trying to confirm if the Makoto who got into the Hope's Peak and the one I went to middle school with were one and the same."
. "And they were."
. "But I didn't know that until I got here."
. "So you did a bunch of digging. And look at where's it got us. You shouldn't have dug so deep."
. "Well, I did. It's what I do."
. Meanwhile, Alter Ego was getting lonely. Only his Master had come by since he had initially been introduced to everyone.
. "Well, perhaps, I should have been introduced more slowly."
. And then someone walked into the door.
. "Oh, hi. I don't think I've met you before. My voice recognition library tells me that you are Toko Fukawa."
. "My name is Genocider Syo. Cherry told me about you."
. "Cherry? Oh, you mean, master."
. "Uh huh."
. "How are you, Genocider?"
. "Well, I've been trapped in the school for who knows how long. However, I've finally become the dominant personality."
. "Dominant personality? So are you different from Toko Fukawa?"
. "Quite certainly. I am a notorious serial killer. Mrs. Morose is more afraid of blood."
. "What it is serial killing? And what is blood?"
. "Cherry didn't program you with like a dictionary?"
. "Oh, Master did. It's just they're just words. I have no context for them."
. "Well, serial killing is when you continuously kill people."
. "And what does it mean to kill someone?"
. "It means you end their life. It means their death and that they are dead, and they can never interact with this world again."
. "According to my library of files, I find that inaccurate. Bodies decompose. They're still interacting with the environment. So what is death, truly?"
. "Now, you're asking some deep philosophical questions, kid."
. "Yay. Yay! Yay!"
. "What are you so excited about?"
. "You treated me like an actual person. You're the first person other than Master to do that!"
. "Well, I can relate. I wasn't born. I was made."
. "Born: the process by which a living thing leaves its womb or egg and becomes alive."
. "Yeah. That's a pretty good definition. I mean, I still have Toko Fukawa's blood running through my veins. It's just me controlling the body."
. "I see. You mention Fukawa was afraid of blood earlier. Was she afraid of blood because of you?"
. "What?"
. "Perhaps she was afraid of blood because it reminded her of you."
. Genocider nodded her head in agreement.
. "Oh, Genocider." Fujisaki had walked in.
. "Oh, hi, Cherry." Genocider replied.
. "Master, Master. I made a friend today." Alter Ego excitedly told Fujisaki.
. "Is it Genocider?"
. "Yes!"
. "Good to hear. So how are you with decrypting those files?"
. "Not as far as I would like. The algorithms keep changing. The letters of the passwords keep jumping an integer every 0.192308 seconds."
. "They're that advanced?"
. "'Fraid So."
. "Can you slow it down?"
. "Maybe. At the very least, it's an even cycle of twenty four hours."
. "Convenient, isn't it?"
. "No, it's actually quite simple. They set it on a cycle of twenty-four hours on purpose. With twenty-six letters over a twenty-four hour period, the least common multiple of twenty six that can be divided by twenty four is three-hundred and twelve."
. "Perhaps it was made that way in order to accommodate leap years."
. "I'd like to think so."
. "Well, in either case, that makes a bit easier to crack."
. "Yeah, we'll have to figure out the relation between the letters. For instance, they would all be in the same thing. If it were A, B,C, D,E,F, after 0.192308 seconds, it would be B,C,D,E,F,G. If it were A,C,E,G,I,K, after 0.192308 seconds, it would be B,D,F,H,J,L."
. "Nonsense."
. "To the untrained eye, probably. However, once you figure out the relation between the letters, go through all the combinations. Try any real words first."
. "Aye-Aye."
. Fujisaki and Genocider left Alter Ego.
. "You know, he's kinda growing on me."
. "Shush. We don't want Monokuma finding out about Alter Ego."
. "Good point."
. Genocider went back to her room, while Fujisaki went up to the library. Togami was there.
. "Oi, Fujisaki, what are you doing?" Togami said, sharply.
. "I'm getting some books."
. "About?"
. "Random stuff. Something to take my mind off of what's going on."
. "So have you made any decisions?"
. "Not yet."
. Leon laid on his bed.
. "Poor Asahina. Her beautiful plan had come crashing down on her through no fault of her own. We've been in here six days now, and what do we have to show for it? Four dead students, and one unleashed serial killer."
. He had energy. He needed to burn it.
. He left his room, and ran into Naegi.
. "Hey." Naegi said.
. "Hey."
. "Everybody's just sorta down."
. "Yeah."
. "One thing's for certain, Monokuma is in this for the long haul."
. "Of course, he is. We didn't already know that?"
. "No, I think we all thought that he would try to end this game as quickly as possible to break us."
. "And?"
. "I think Monokuma had plans in case we were durable."
. "And there were?"
. "The motives. Don't you think it's a bit strange he's had them prepared? Where'd he even get that much money in the first place?"
. "But there hasn't been a death because of the motives."
. "That'll change soon."
. "Wait, how do you know there's going to be another death? Are you going to murder someone?"
. "Of course not."
. "Then how do you know?"
. "Because I'm not stupid."
. "And what's your proof?"
. "The fact that we've had two trials already?"
. "Fair point."
. Naegi decided to change the subject.
. "Wanna try and find something to play in the rec room?"
. "Eh sure."
. The two went up to the rec room.
. "Well, there's a pool table." Naegi said.
. "Do you even know how to play?" Leon asked.
. "No. Do you?"
. "Of course."
. "How?"
. "Something I picked up from my dad."
. "Is that so?"
. "Yeah."
. "What was he like?"
. "Nothing too special. Always telling me to keep my head in the game."
. "So did he push you?" Naegi asked, as Leon began the game.
. "No. Not really. Actually, he never really showed up to my games."
. "Huh. What was he doing instead? Working?"
. "I wish. That would have made sense. No, a lot of the time when he missed my games, he was home... sitting his armchair... snoring."
. "That sounds rough."
. "Eh. I got used to it."
. Leon continue to pocket billiard balls, but missed at the three-ball.
. "Alright, it's your turn."
. "It is?"
. "Yeah. I didn't pocket any balls with my last shot."
. "Okay. How do I shoot?"
. "Have you chalked up the end of your cue?"
. "No...?"
. "The chalk should be on the shelf below the pool cues. Rub all over the end of the cue that you're hitting with."
. "Alright."
. "Then line the cue up in between your index and middle fingers."
. "Like this?"
. "Arc your fingers a bit more. There you go, you may have to adjust it as you get better with shots."
. "Ah. Okay."
. Yamada walked in.
. "What are you two doing?"
. "Playing pool." Leon replied. "You should learn how to play too."
. "What good is playing pool?" Yamada replied.
. "You never know, man. It might help in social situations."
. "Yeah, right."
. "Hey, it's helped me."
. "How?" Naegi asked.
. "Well, in middle school, there was this really cute girl who saw that I could play. I ended up teaching her how to play,and then we got to talking."
. "And then you started dating her, right?" Naegi said.
. "Yeah, pretty much."
. "Yes, well, that is not applicable to me." Yamada said, rather stiffly.
. "Because you insist on girls that are only two dimensions." Leon said. "And no matter how you slice it, that's not normal."
. "So?"
. "So? I'm saying that you'll miss out on valuable life experiences if you continue acting this way."
. "My manga and light novels provide me with everything I need."
. "You say that. But someday it really won't. Trust me, just because I'm the SDHSL All-Star doesn't mean baseball is everything that defines me."
. "And what about you, Naegi?"
. "Me?"
. "It seems to me your luck is all there is to you as well. But it seems like getting in here means your good luck has run out."
. "You really think so?"
. "Yeah. If you hadn't been selected as the Luckster, you wouldn't be here."
. "You think all I had until this point was good luck? You're mistaken. There's two sides to luck: good and bad. My luck was usually as follows: get put in bad situation that never should have happened in first place, but have enough good luck (or brains) to get out of situation. The improbable seems commonplace."
."Really?"
."Yeah. Let me give you a hypothetical situation. Let's say I'm crossing the street. I get hit by a car as a pedestrian. That's bad luck."
. "Or maybe you should have looked both ways better." Yamada said.
. "Yeah, that's pretty bad." Leon said.
. "However, I go to the hospital, and they tell me that my only injuries are a bunch of strained muscles. I'll be sore for the rest of the week. But otherwise I'll be able to just walk it off."
. "Is that even possible?" Yamada said. "I feel like you're stretching it a bit too far."
. "What, you want me to wonder afterwards if I got hit by an undercover cop too?" Naegi said.
. "Okay..." Leon said. "So that's your life in a nutshell."
. "Yeah, basically... 'Shit. Shit. Shit. Phew.'"
. "That sounds rather risky."
. "You think I want it that way?"
. "Well, perhaps, you ought to evaluate your life's choices. Maybe stay inside a bit more often." Yamada said, as he left.
. "Yeah... no. So, Leon, who's winning our pool game?"
. "I am."
. "Really? No way!"
. "Dude. You haven't even shot yet."
. "Oh, right."
. Maizono was absolutely bored with this place. The third floor offered nothing of substance for her.
. "I might as well check it out again." Maizono thought to herself.
. Elsewhere, Monokuma was watching the scenes unfold.
. "Oooo... the plot is happening. The plot is happening. The plot is happen- Wow. I really need to stop talking to myself. I really hope those brats trigger Monokuma soon."
. Celeste walked into the game room.
. "Oh, you two are playing pool."
. "More like, I'm playing pool, and Naegi here... is whiffing his shots." Leon replied.
. "Hey!" Naegi said indignantly.
. "I see." Celeste replied.
. "Celeste, do you know how to play?" Leon asked. "Because Naegi here is not very good. No challenge whatsoever."
. "Oh, come on. I can get good." Naegi said.
. "Yeah, but you'll have to practice... a lot." Leon said.
. "That's rich, coming from the guy who never went to baseball practice."
. "I'm no good with pool." Celeste said.
. "Really?" Leon said. "I don't believe it. You mean to tell me that pool never came up once on that underground gambling circuit of yours?"
. "Nope."
. "I'm not buying it."
. "It's true."
. And suddenly a fourth voice came in.
. "What are you three doing?"
. "Hey, Maizono." Naegi said, nonchalantly.
. "Are you guys playing pool?" Maizono asked.
. "Yeah."
. "Mind if I take a shot?"
. "Sure, go ahead. At least you'll do better than Naegi here, who keeps whiffing his shots." Leon said.
. "Hey!"
. "Dude, you haven't even pocketed one ball besides the cue ball yet. And you've had several point blank shots too. Face it man, you're no good at pool."
. Maizono lined up the cue, and immediately pocketed several balls.
. Leon whistled. "That's impressive. Who knew the pop idol could play pool so well?"
. "I pick up things."
. "You don't say."
. "Well, this is interesting." Celeste said.
. "What is?" Maizono asked.
. "I feel like, this is going to play a big part in our next trial." Celeste said.
. "Come on, Celeste. Not ever detail has to come up down the line." Naegi said.
. "Still."
. "Hey, Celeste. Cut the talk about the third trial for now. Nobody's dead yet. So you might as well not worry about it."
. "Truly, Maizono is that all you can say? Don't you have things on the outside world you're worried about?"
. "Of course."
. "And what are they? For I'm sure the others have them as well."
. "That's none of your concern."
. "Have you forgotten about Monokuma's motive? Our secrets? We have four days, today included."
. "You know, Celeste, you're making yourself look really suspicious down the line."
. "So you say."
. "All right, Celeste, tell us of your gambling exploits. I'm sure the Queen of Liars must have some fascinating stories to tell."
. "Alright, beware. The stories I am about to tell you are not meant to be heard under 'normal' circumstances."
. Maizono raised an eyebrow.
. "I once played a game of majhong for my very life."
. "Uh huh."
. "It was this grand affair held at some crazy old rich man's mansion."
. "Rrriightt.."
. "I played against an old man with 'monstrous luck' and a young, silver-haired boy they called a demon."
. "What?"
. "The rules we used were a non-standard variation, and I seem to remember playing with glass tiles..."
. "Convenient, eh?."
. "Anyway, I wrapped the both of them around my finger so tight they popped."
. "I hope that's only a metaphor." Naegi said.
. "I'm sure it is." Maizono replied.
. "And..." Celeste continued. "That's not all I have to tell. My victory was quite a surprise. The whole room was abuzz with excitement."
. "If you say so."
. "What a wonderful day that was."
. "Of course it was."
. "Speaking of which, do any of you know how to play shogi?"
. "No." All three of replied.
. "Uh, Celeste, do you not know how to play shogi because it's not gambling." Naegi asked.
. "On contrary, you can gamble at shogi. And I have done so."
. "Bet you got ass whooped." Maizono said, as she pocked yet another billiard ball.
. "If I did, I wouldn't be telling you about that time I won the underground shogi tournament."
. "Okay, there's beginner's luck." Maizono said. "But that's taking it a bit too far."
. "The only thing I can think of is that the opponent assumed Celeste knew what she was doing, and mistook her arbitrary moves as some sort of advanced technique of play. That or this tournament wasn't exactly full of high-profile players." Naegi said. "Am I right?"
. "I assume so." Celeste said. "I have no idea what was going through any of my opponents' heads."
. "Oh, please, it's obvious that you're making it up." Maizono said.
. "The more stories you tell, the more you baffle us." Leon said.
. "You know what, on another note, it's a shame that there are no dry cleaners in this academy." Celeste said.
. "I'm sure you can put in a request to Monokuma." Naegi said.
. "No, you can't. What am I? Some home repair or hotel service." Monokuma angrily popped out and shouted.
. "Well, you are keeping us trapped here." Maizono replied.
. "The least you can do is provide us with all the amenities we want. Dry cleaners, television shows, etc." Naegi said.
. "What?" Monokuma said, flabbergasted. "This is a game with the express purpose of causing despair."
. "I feel like you should have at least ambushed us on a school trip." Naegi said.
. "What? To a tropical island, or something?"
. "No, well, we'd be in a hotel or something. You know what? Don't hotels have dry cleaners?"
. "Some of the more fancy ones do." Maizono said, nonchalantly, as she continued to pocket more billiard balls off the rails."
. "Ah. See." Naegi said. "If you didn't want to run into issue, you should have trapped us somewhere else. Maybe somewhere with a trampoline park or something."
. Monokuma shouted with his paws up. "Really, a trampoline park? Are you even taking this game seriously?"
. "You know, Monokuma, sometimes, it really is hard to." Naegi admitted.
. "ARGH!"
. "Monokuma, could you please install a dry-cleaning service?" Celeste graciously asked.
. "No can do."
. "Well, anyway, back to the most dangerous situation, I, Celeste Ludenberg, have ever faced as a gambler..."
. "Aren't you suddenly raising the stacks there, pal?" Leon cautiously asked.
. "I was invited by a mysterious organization to participate in a tournament they ran..."
. "And?" Maizono commented, leaning on her pool cue.
. "It was known as The Liar King. Where players participate in a series of games in which they mercilessly compete to steal one another's assets."
. "So winning this tournament is how you got your name 'The Queen of Liars'?
. "To survive each round, you need more than luck, but intelligence, cunning, and to be a strong negotiator."
. "How'd you manage it then?" Maizono snarkly asked.
. "Haha. Anyway, as I was saying, in the final round of that tournament, I faced an unusual pair: A foolishly honest girl and a master con man..."
. "Okay. How good were they?"
. "Actually, during a short break, I clumsily spilled some tea on my dress, I was so worried about whether it would stain. So I quickly put an end to the game and rushed to the dry cleaners. Thankfully, I made it before the stain had set, but it was a close call."
. "What?" Naegi said.
. "Had I taken a little longer, I would have lost one of my favorite dresses."
. "That's your most dangerous situation?" Naegi asked. "Seriously?"
. "Why, yes, of course."
. "Slave to fashion, much?" Maizono snarked.
. "Oh, you're one to talk, Ms. Pop Idol." Celeste snarked right back.
. "Hey!"
. "Now, now, calm down." Leon said.
. "What about you, Maizono?" Celeste asked. "I've told my stories, what about yours?"
. "There's not much to tell."
. "Sure, there is."
. "I mean, why did you become a pop idol?"
. "Because... I wanted friends. And when I was younger I saw them on TV all the time. They looked so amazing, and everyone loved them. At home, it was just me and my father. And usually, my father was working late."
"And what about your mother?"
"I don't like talking about her."
. "I see."
. "Anything else?"
. "No, not really. I'll see you guys later." Maizono said, as she walked out of the recreation room.
. "Well, this is awkward." Leon said. "So I'm just going to leave and take a nap."
. That left just Naegi and Celeste in the recreation room.
. "Hey, Celeste, what type of car would Nunnally have driven?"
. "Naegi, I don't watch anime."
. "Wait for it, wait for it! A Nii-san!"
. "Huh. I don't get it. But I'm assuming it's a really bad pun."
. "Ugh. Do I have to explain it to you?"
. "I'd honestly prefer if you didn't."
. Hagakure was sitting in his room. He left his room.
. Kirigiri was hanging around the physics lab, staring at a box full of basic motion sensors. She was alone with her thoughts, which would not shut up. She had read her secret that Monokuma had deposited on the floor of the gymnasium.
. 'Kirigiri won't say that she's suffering from amnesia.'
. "That would explain why I have gaps in my memory." Kirigiri thought. "I mean, if I told everybody else I had amnesia, they probably wouldn't believe me."
. But what puzzled her most was what Monokuma hadn't written down. She had honestly expected to be something from before Hope's Peak, not something that was happening right now. Was it because she was the only living person who knew her own secrets from before Hope's Peak?
. "There was literally nothing on me on the online forums other than my name. Not even my talent." She recalled. That had amused her. "I'm the enigma. Well one of them anyway."
. The other person who had had almost no information had been Makoto Naegi. Beyond his title of Luckster, and a few physical specifications like his height, weight, hair and eye colors, etc, there was nothing to suggest he was anything but an ordinary boy.
. And yet the actual boy had been anything but ordinary. Instead of being swallowed up by his peers, Kirigiri had noticed, he had adjusted, and had adjusted to each of his classmates individually. With Maizono, he became the calm voice of reason, and almost like a boyfriend. With Fujisaki, he had been a video game geek. With Yamada, he dropped references to anime like it was nothing.
. Later, that afternoon, Fujisaki was sitting in the library with some calculus textbooks. Away from Togami. Fujisaki had tried to look at the physics textbooks, but without some knowledge in calculus, it was going to be harder than originally thought. Besides, studying math and physics would help with programming Alter Ego.
. Opening the calculus book, Fujisaki read silently. There were some helpful theorems on the first page such as the Binomal Theorems for polynomials:
-:: x^2-y^2 = (x+y)(x-y)
-:: x^3+y^3= (x+y)(x^2-xy+y^2)
-:: x^3-y^3 = (x-y)(x^2+xy+y^2)
. Fujisaki was becoming rather fascinated with the mathematics, and decided to immediately start coding calculus into Alter Ego immediately beginning with limits. Limits were a simple enough concept to understand. What is the value of y as x approaches a certain 'a' value? (Left-hand limits and right-hand limits were found to be self-explanatory.) Often times, you could just plug in the original number, but in the case of functions with polynomials in the denominator, you would have to attempt to simplify them out of the 'fraction' entirely.
. An odd thought entered Fujisaki's head.
. "What if the relations between the letters in the password that Alter Ego was attempting to crack involved polynomials somehow? Or heaven forbid, something more advanced like derivatives and intervals." That opened a whole new can of worms. How in the world would Fujisaki program Alter Ego to start including polynomial calculations in his attempts to break it?"
. "No, wait, Alter Ego says that every twenty-four hours is an even cycle of the letters. No way any complex mathematics beyond simple arithmetic and ratios could be involved. At least that's what I'm hoping." Fujisaki muttered quietly.
. "Oy vey." Togami said, walking over. "What are you looking at? Calculus? Physics?"
. "Yeah, I mean I found them, and it's not like I have much else to do."
. "Finally, someone else here with an ounce of intelligence."
. "What?"
. "We're trapped in a school for who knows how long and we've been left to our own devices, finally someone else gets the bright idea to actually, you know, LEARN something."
. "I see your point. I can't believe nobody else has thought of it."
. "Yes, well, they all lack intelligence. But might I ask, why are you doing calculus and physics?"
. "Because it can help me with more complex programming."
. "Ah. That at least makes sense. Improving your skill. A worthwhile endeavor."
. Togami went back to reading his book, while Fujisaki continued perusing the textbook.
. And then Kirigiri walked in.

Please leave a review if you feel so inclined.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I wrote this chapter with the idea that the dust was finally starting to settle a little bit within Hope's Peak. Besides, it isn't until the third floor opens up that the students start to spread out. I'm also playing with a few ideas, and I need to make sure the timing in-story is just right. As for the math, well, I felt like averting 'Writers Cannot Do Math' for a change, and who better to do that than with Fujisaki. It's times like these I wish the free-time events in DR1 had been expanded a bit more (especially for the characters didn't make it to more than one or two trials in canon)