Jordan- 15
It's been almost 9 months since Erin left to New York for her new job, nobody had taken it well. Jordan was starting to struggle with her sobriety, Hank had felt like he lost another child, Jay lost the love of his life. After Erin left Jay swore that he'd be there for Jordan in Erin's place and he was true to his word.
Almost every Friday night they hung out, talked, watched movies. Lately Jay hadn't been hanging out with the fifteen year old because he had also been struggling with his sobriety. Instead of hanging out with Jordan, he had been hanging out with Camila Vega, she was a girl he met during a case and she was sucking him down a rabbit hole.
One Friday night Jordan went to Jay's apartment, she was getting tired of him dodging her, they both were still hurting after Erin left. They confided in each other when the other was struggling and she knew very well he was struggling. Jay was on his seventh beer he then took out some hard stuff and began drinking that. He just returned home after being with Camila, she had given him a small plastic bag full of pills. Being drunk he opened the bag and pouring the pills in his palm.
Looking at the white pills in his head he took 6 of them and chugged some liquor, eventually he passed out with the bottle of liquor in his hand. Jordan had finally arrived to his apartment, she knew how Jay felt because she wanted to go back to her partying days but she wasn't gonna do it. Bringing her fist up she began pounding on his door.
"Jay! Open this door!". Jordan yelled.
Nothing she heard nothing but silence. She continued banging on the door it eventually got someone's attention.
"You mind keeping that down?! Some people are trying to sleep". A guy said angrily.
The fifteen year old glared at the guy. "Am I at your door? No. Back the hell off and leave me alone".
She continued to pound on the door. "Jay! I swear on everything I'll break this door in!"
After a few more minutes of pounding on the door she had enough, she forgot the key so she was gonna break it in. Lifting her foot she kicked the door in it didn't come down so she tried a few more times till it finally broke and she got in the apartment.
"Jay! Where the hell are you?!" Jordan yelled.
The fifteen year old searched the small apartment and found him in his room passed out, beer bottles beside, a small plastic bag laying on his chest, and a huge bottle of liquor in his hand. She then rushed to him.
"Jay wake up man, come on wake up. Why the hell did you do this?"
Jay didn't budge so the teen tried to slap him a few time. "You stubborn son of a bitch, I lost one brother I'm not losing another".
Using all her strength she carried him to the bathroom, it took her a good nearly ten minutes to get him to the bathroom. Jordan was still struggling to get him in the bathtub.
"Why the hell do you have to be so damn heavy?" She muttered.
Being careful of his head she finally had him in the bathtub, turning on the shower she turned it on and Jay was blasted by ice cold water. Jordan poured out the remaining beer and liquor, she put the pills in her pocket she then called 911 for an ambulance.
Jay still wasn't waking up Jordan then once again used all her strength to pull him out the bathtub and started CPR on the detective.
"Come on Jay! Don't do this!"
The fifteen year old was pushing on his chest fiercely and fast, she gave him another breath of air she once again began pushing down on his chest. The teen felt something wet coming down her face she shook her head.
"Jay please don't do this! I already lost one brother I don't wanna lose another! Please wake up. WAKE UP!"
The detective still didn't budge or wake, Jordan pushed on his chest harder and harder. She was pushing down on his chest so hard she could have broken a rib.
"Jay please. You promised Erin you'd look out for me. Please don't do this".
Gabby and Brett arrived, when they pulled up it looked very familiar to Gabby but she couldn't place it. They headed inside and went up the stairs so far nothing was out of the ordinary. Brett then noticed the a door smashed.
"Gabby, check that out. Could that be whoever called for us". Brett spoke.
"I think". Gabby responded.
"Should we call a 10-1?"
"Let's check it out first, if it's serious then we will".
Why did this look so familiar to Gabby? She felt as if she's been here at some point but can't remember. The two partners got by the door and saw that the wooden door was demolished.
"Hello! Chicago Fire Department! Someone call for an ambulance!" Gabby called.
The teen heard voices, she didn't wanna leave Jay so she yelled back. "In the bathroom!"
The two heard someone yelling back they knew the voice but how? They went to the bathroom and the women were taken back in shock. Jordan was still giving Jay CPR while he was unconscious. It was no wonder why this was familiar to Gabby, this way Jay's apartment.
Jordan looked to the paramedics, complete fear and terror was written on it. "Guys please help, he won't wake up".
"Come here sweetheart". Gabby instructed her.
"No! I'm not leaving him! I won't leave my brother!"
"Do you know what he took?" Brett asked.
"No. I saw a plastic bag on his chest, I don't know how much he took or what he took. Just please help him".
"Let's push some Narcan". Gabby spoke.
Jordan wouldn't stop pushing down on Jay's chest, nothing would stop her from saving him. Brett put her hands on the teen's forcing her to stop.
"We'll get him sweetie". The blonde told her gently.
"I can't lose another brother Sylvie, I can't".
Gabby then injected the needle into Jay's arm injecting the Narcan, Jordan looked on from Brett's hold on her.
"What's that?" Jordan asked.
"Narcan. Basically whatever he took will get out of his system". Gabby answered.
"How long does that take?"
"Could be seconds, could be minutes".
A second later Jay awoke with a start, he was gasping for breath. Gabby place a gentle hand on his chest trying to get him to calm down.
"Hey easy, easy Jay". Gabby told him gently.
"What the hell happened?" Jay asked confused.
"Jordan just saved your life".
"What?"
"I'm right here Jay". Jordan said, her voice full of pain.
He looked back to the teen, she now had a painful expression on her face. "Why'd you do it?"
"Jo it's not what you think". Jay said to the teen.
"I think it is".
"Let's get you to the hospital". Brett says.
They all left, Jay looked back to see his door bashed in. "What happened to my door?"
"You should have answered". Jordan simply said.
Brett got in the back with Jay and began to look him over while Gabby stayed outside with Jordan.
"Let me come Gabby, I need to talk to him". Jordan spoke.
"Sweetheart you know only family can ride with". Gabby told her gently.
"I am his family. So are you and Brett. Gabby please, I don't wanna lose another brother".
The paramedic thought about it and knew she could get in trouble but she went back to what Jordan had said. Jay is her family. The detective was part of their family and family sticks together no matter what.
"You can ride in front with me".
"Thank you".
"Just don't mention this to anyone".
"I won't tell if you won't".
Gabby hopped in the driver seat while Jordan got in the passenger seat and they headed off for Med. Brett was in the back looking the detective over, she then noticed the painful expression on his face.
"What is it?" Brett asked.
"Jo hates me. It wouldn't surprise me if she stops talking to me". Jay answered, his voice filled with pain and sadness.
"Talk to her. Tell her why you did what you did".
"She won't listen".
"Get her to listen. Remember how we had to get her to listen to us".
Jay then thought of that, everyone in the teen's life tried to get her to listen to reason when she was drinking. It took a while but they finally got her out of that state and finally convinced her to get sober. He now had to talk to Jordan about why he did it, it felt as if the roles had been reversed.
They had finally arrived at the hospital and Jay was wheeled inside, Will was on duty when he saw his brother getting wheeled in with Jordan following. He then rushed over to them.
"Jay, Jo, what happened". Will's voice was quick and filled with worry.
"Ask your brother what he did tonight". Jordan spoke.
The older Halstead then looked to his brother. "Jay, what did you do?"
"I took some pills and drank a little". Jay admitted.
"A six pack and a bottle of Jack ain't little". Jordan snapped.
"Jo let's go somewhere to cool off, Jay's gonna be taken care of". Will suggested.
Jordan walked off while Jay called out for her but Will had stopped his brother, Maggie seen the detective on the gurney and rushed over.
"Will, Jay. What happened". Maggie says.
"Can we get Jay to a bed please, I need to have a talk with my brother". Will said.
"You know you can't treat family".
"I won't treat him, I need to talk to him".
"I'll get Dr. Choi to come over and treat him".
The head nurse then went to get Dr. Choi while the brothers said nothing to one another. Jay looked away from his brother but he still felt his brother's eyes on him. Will just looked at his brother with an emotionless look on his face.
"Why". Will finally said.
"You wouldn't understand". Jay answered.
"Try me".
"Fine. Ever since Erin left, I...I've been struggling. My nightmares are back, my PTSD is getting out of hand. I met this girl undercover and it got a lot worse".
"What did she give you?"
"I don't know, she got it at a party and gave it to me. I took it home took 6 of them and drank".
"You best be damn lucky Jordan came and found you when she did".
"I need to talk to her Will".
"With the way she's pissed off right now, give her some space to cool off".
"She needs to know why I did that".
"Jay, she's struggling to. You don't know, do you".
"Know what?"
"A few days after Erin left Jordan came here because she wanted to go back drinking, cutting, using even. She's been seeing Dr. Charles or Sarah and has been talking about it. You stopped going to meetings with her so she needed someone to talk to. She's hurting to Jay, she doesn't like showing it but Jo's hurting to. Right now you two understand each other's pain, give her some time to cool off then she'll talk to you".
"Alright".
"The Halstead brothers. Let's check you out Detective". Dr. Choi said, approaching the brothers.
Before going in the room Jay looked back at his brother. "Find Jo, don't let her fall".
"I won't". Will told his brother.
Jay was then whisked in the room while Will went to go find the teen. Jordan was in the lounge sipping on coffee, her nerves were rattled and her emotions were all over the place. Is this how the others felt when it was her? Was this how Erin felt when she found her almost dead? She felt anger surge through her body part of her was angry at Jay for doing it but she was mainly pissed at the bitch for giving it to him. This was the last straw.
Will had went to go check on the young Voight, he seen her sipping coffee from a small styrofoam cup. He then went over to her.
"Jo". Will says approaching her.
The teen whipped around to see the older Halstead. "Is Jay ok?"
"He's going to be fine thanks to you".
"I never talk about it but, one day I got really drunk and I...I slit my wrist too deep I vaguely remember after that but I remember some of it. I called Erin and she came for me, after that it was black. I must have passed out. When I saw Jay like that, it was almost like deja vu".
"Talk to him Jo. You two know each other's pain and struggles like this. I can't get him to talk to me about that believe me I tried".
"Can I see him?"
"Of course you can".
He then escorted the teen to his brother's room. After getting checked out and his stomach fully pumped of everything Jay was just laying on the bed, he heard someone at his door he looked to see his brother and Jordan. The fifteen year old looked back at Will.
"Mind giving us a few minutes". Jordan says.
"Of course". Will replied.
The older Halstead left his brother and Jordan alone, he closed the door so no one overhears the two. Jordan looked at the detective with a painful look, tears began to leak from her eyes. When Jay saw that it broke his heart, they always hated to see Jordan crying and when she was crying they wanted to find the source. But when they were the cause of it, they were speechless. They were ready to break.
"Why". Jordan's voice started to break.
"Ever since Erin left, I've been struggling". Jay started.
"And I haven't?! What did you think I was doing since she left? You think it's all fine and dandy. No Jay it's not. Every day for 9 straight months I've been struggling". She paused taking a deep breath. "I never talk about this but one day I couldn't take it anymore I got so drunk I could barely remember it but some stuff I vaguely remember. I slit my wrist too deep then I remember calling Erin to tell her I was sorry and to tell my dad I love him. I started going in and out of it for a while. I remember when she was there she was begging me to stay alive. When I woke up in the hospital and saw the look on my dad's face I wanted to die again. I knew if I had killed myself I was being selfish because I was thinking about myself and not anyone else. I thought about my dad, he already lost one kid he couldn't lose me. Erin lost Nadia then Justin, I didn't want her spiralling again because of me. I didn't want any of you to suffer because of my choices. My dad forced me to go to rehab, remember y'all intervened me. I'll tell ya rehab sucked ass man, I thought losing Justin was hard no rehab that was the hardest thing I had to do. I could barely sleep, when I did sleep I was puking my guts out. I wanted to quit so many times but something in my head told me to stay and fight through my addictions and I did. I'm clean and sober going on a year now. If I can fight why couldn't you? And if you say you don't know I'll give you another reason to be in that hospital bed".
Jay sighed. "After Erin left I tried hard to now go down the rabbit hole then when I met this girl. Things changed. We started hanging out more and more, she was the first girl I had feelings for since Erin left".
"You chose that bitch over your family?!"
"Language". Jay used a warning voice with her.
"You're not my dad let's get that straight. So does Camila know you? The real you?"
The detective raised his eyebrow. "How'd you know her name?"
"Please Jay, you guys think I only do my homework in the lounge come on. Besides you guys don't really talk quietly".
"I didn't want you to see what you saw tonight".
"A bit late for that".
"After Erin left, I was struggling. My PTSD started coming back, the nightmares. It was all too much for me to handle".
"Why not ask for help? You could have gone to my dad. You could have came here and talked to Dr. Charles or Sarah. You could have gone to a therapist. You could have came to me".
"Why didn't you get help after Justin died?"
Jordan then shot him a pointed look. "Don't you dare compare the two situations. Justin was different, he was murdered. I lost my best friend. I lost my big brother. My father lost his son. My nephew lost his father. Olive lost her husband. Erin left but she can always come back. Justin can never come back. You still have your brother I don't". Her voice then started to tremble. "When I saw you tonight I thought you were dead. You're pulse was weak, it looked like you weren't breathing for a minute. I already lost one brother Jay, please don't make me lose another one. Other than my dad all I have are you guys and I can't lose one of you. I already lost my brother and sister, I can't lose one of you".
Jay felt his own tears fall when he seen the teen crying, this was one time Jordan truly opened up with one of them. She was never one to open up her true feelings in front of no one.
"Come here Jo". Jay's voice broke.
She went over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck burying her face into his neck. Jay held onto the teen tightly, one arm held her and he used his other hand to cradle her head.
"I-I…don't wa-wanna…lose a-another brother".
"You won't have to. I'm gonna get help Jo, I promise. It's alright…Jordy".
The teen eventually fell asleep next to Jay, the whole time he had a protective arm around her. He was going to be true to his word, he was gonna get help.
Will had went to check on his brother, Jay was watching TV while Jordan slept curled into his side. When he saw his brother coming he signed for him to be quiet then pointed to a sleeping Jordan.
"Did you two talk?" Will asked.
"We did. I'm gonna get help. Jo told me she can't lose another brother". Jay replied.
"And I can't lose my brother. It's good that you're gonna get help". Will paused taking a breath then continues. "I called Hank he's on his way".
"You told him?"
"As you're brother yes, you knew he was going to find out eventually".
"You're right".
After a few minutes Hank had arrived, Will had escorted him to his brother's room. Jay was watching TV when his door opened to see his brother and his boss. Hank saw his daughter fast asleep next to the detective.
"We need to talk Jay". Hank said.
"I'm sorry for everything Sarge. I am". Jay replies.
"You're on desk duty till further notice. You're also gonna see a therapist".
"I understand".
"I don't think you do Jay. Will told me Jo found you, she thought you were dead. When Erin found her that one day I thought my daughter was dead because nobody told me. You never anything and look what happened, you're damn lucky that Jordan found you when she did".
"We're always looking out for her now she's looking out for us".
"Because she cares. I care to. I never told you this but I see you as my son Jay and I can't help you if you don't talk to me. I tell that to Jordan all the time. Don't be embarrassed or ashamed to ask for help that's what we're all here for. If you ever just wanna talk you know where I live".
"Thanks Sarge".
"You're welcome".
Hank then awoke his daughter and soon the father daughter duo left.
A few days have passed Jay was starting to go to therapy for his problems. Jordan was glad her surrogate brother was finally getting help.
Jordan was at the District one day, the team minus Jay was out. Jay was in the bathroom which gave the teen her opportunity, she began going through all their old case files. She had to hurry before Jay caught her.
She finally found the files she was looking for, she found the file on Camila. Taking a piece of paper the teen quickly wrote down her address she then quickly put it all back.
Jay came back to see Jordan packing her stuff up. "Where are you off to?"
"I'm heading home. I'm not feeling too great".
" Are you ok?"
"Just a really bad headache nothing a little sleep can't fix".
"Let me drive you".
" I'm good. You stay here besides I do have my permit now I can drive myself".
"Let me know when you get home and let your dad know you".
"Don't I always?'
" You know what I mean".
The fifteen year old headed out to her car, she got in and took her phone out typing in Camila's address. She was gonna make this bitch stay away from Jay. She knew she couldn't use Jay's real name but his undercover name.
Jordan drove off heading to Camila's house. The teen arrived to the house, she didn't go in but she sat there glaring at the house. When the front door opened the fifteen year old felt as if her heart could have popped out of her chest.
Camila was leaving her home going down the street. Jordan watched as she left she was gonna wait to make her move so for the time being she was gonna watch and wait then make her move.