Jordan- 16

Jordan had waited hours and still Hank had been in surgery. It was like deja vu all over again, she remembered doing the very same thing with her brother. Pacing. Sitting by the doors. Jumping whenever she saw a doctor or a surgeon. Her throat was dry, her eyes just stung with tears.

The sixteen-year-old felt numb. Her mind is still going back to when she had shot and possibly killed Jacob. The bastard had deserved it, he beat, tortured and possibly killed her father then started talking about her mother. Nobody was gonna injure or insult her family, not without paying the price. All Jordan could hear in her ears and head were the sounds of the gun shots. Her eyes wide.

Hailey had sat down by the teen. "Jordan we need to talk"

"I'm not in the mood for a lecture, just leave me alone"

"I'm not going to just do that. You shot and possibly murdered an unarmed man"

"Hailey, I very highly suggest you walk away from me before I say some things I may or may not regret. Now walk away. Besides, you can't talk to me without my dad or another adult present. And none of you are going to be talking to me right now because I'm far from in a talking mood"

"Jordan, I will get one of the others to help me talk with you. You know what you did was wrong"

She chuckled dryly. "You wanna talk to me about what's wrong? Seriously. You wanna talk to me about what's right and wrong. Alright we can go that route. Let's talk about right and wrong. Was it right or wrong for pulling Adam out in the middle of a bust because you didn't like it? Was it right or wrong for you to blackmail Adam about his father working a job? I know everything Hailey. You pretty much blackmailed Adam about his father telling him he had best tell my dad or you would have. During a bust Adam was doing fine and you pulled him out for no reason. Is it right or wrong that everything has to be your way or no way? Is it right or wrong for you to disobey direct orders from my father and do whatever the hell you want? This high and mighty attitude may have gotten you over in robbery-homicide or you were bouncing bed buddies over there too. I don't know frankly I don't give a flying shit. But it doesn't roll here. Who's next Hailey? Jay? Kevin? It sure as hell won't be my dad he has more integrity than that. You think being in robbery-homicide is a big deal? Not a chance in seven hells. Antonio came from Vice and he didn't act the way you do. This your way or no way act needs to stop because not every damn thing has to be your way Hailey. You're not the only one in this unit, on this team. You're not in charge of this unit, if you want a unit to be in charge of go the hell back to robbery-homicide and stay there. Nobody asked your demanding, bossy, blonde headed ass to come here. My dad, my father, the only parent I have left is in that damn operating room fighting for his life to get back to me. I don't regret not one thing I did because my dad would have done the same thing for me if not worse. If you have your own family issues or daddy problems that's not my problem. I may have acted like an asshole to my dad at one point but I'll always be loyal to him. Now get out of my face and leave me the hell alone before I knock you on your ass don't think I won't"

That hadn't just taken the blonde detective off guard but it had completely shocked her. Since meeting the teen she never knew how bad Jordan's temper could get and this time the temper got the best of the teen.

"Jordan that's enough" Jay told her sharply.

The teen's brown eyes cut over at him. "Back off Jay, don't think you won't be next. Just leave me the hell alone right now"

She stormed away going outside needing some air, she felt her chest tightening up. She couldn't breathe, the teen ended up taking slow deep breaths trying to calm herself. The teen let out a sob as she looked up at the pink purple sky as it was getting dark. Stars began twinkling in the sky, the bright white moon shining.

"Mom, Justin, please. Please don't take him. Don't take dad please. I still need him. I know I was a jerk to him but I've made up for it. I'm doing better. I know what I was hiding from him was huge but I was scared if I told him. I'd lose him too, I was trying to protect him as much as he protects me. He always protects me, I have to protect him. Just please, please don't take him. Please I'm not ready to lose him, I'll never be ready to lose him"

Tears fell from her eyes as she looked at the night sky hoping they heard her pleads. Someone had sat beside her, Antonio had sat beside her.

"You got lucky, Jacob is gonna live," Antonio told her.

"I don't care he should have died like the bastard he is," Jordan glanced, her voice holding no emotion.

"Do you know what you've done?"

"Antonio, I just went through this with Hailey. Don't start with me. Because I can go on and tell you plenty of things you did wrong. Just ask Hailey. So if you don't want your feelings hurt. Don't start. Still going to meetings?"

The senior detective looked shocked. "How did you-" He was cut off.

"Two things. One, I told you I know everything. Two, you're talking to a former addict. I know the signs. I noticed after you screwed up your shoulder and you started sneaking around changing. I knew when you were high. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. I also know what else you did to the guy that took Eva. I won't tell so you ain't gotta worry" She looked at him to see the surprised look. "What? You think I do just my homework? I know everything Tonio. I know more than any of you think just like I know Adam took the fall for what happened to protect you. Hell if I had been there I'd have took the blame too"

"I understood why you did it"

"Then leave it and me alone. You and Hailey wanna talk about what I've done wrong yet neither of you are innocent either. You've done stuff, she's done stuff hell she still is. Neither of you are saints. Hell I'm not and I don't try and pretend I might be. I could lose everything just like the two of you can. What makes me different from any of you? I'm a kid? Who my dad is? Tonio I haven't been a kid since my brother was taken off life support. I stopped being a kid the second he stopped breathing. I stopped being a kid when Olive took my only nephew and left. I haven't been a kid in a very long time. That bastard beat, tortured and probably killed my dad, he was talking about my dead mother. Nobody does that and walks. You would have done the same thing if you were in my shoes. You've done worse. So before you look at me and ask me what I've done, look in the mirror and ask yourself that. I'm living with what I did. If you can't live with what you did, that's you not me. You're the one who needs to clear his conscience I don't"

She headed back inside and went to the bathroom, she turned on the ice cold water and splashed her face. The echo of the gunshot kept playing in her head over and over like a loop. When one the stall doors slammed shut she jumped so far she could have leaped out of her skin. Her heart raced in her chest pounding against her ribs, when she turned back her face looking down at the white sink her hands gripped the edges tightly till her knuckles turned white.

When she went to turn the water off she saw her hand shaking, she looked at both her hands and saw them shaking. Walking out she shoved them in her pocket and she saw Will.

"Will, any news or word on my dad. It feels like he's been in there forever" Jordan couldn't keep the worry or panic out of her voice.

"I can go find out how he's doing. How are you doing?" He replied.

"I can't lose him, I'm not ready to lose him" Her voice cracked.

He walked over to her and hugged her, Jordan leaned against him and tried to block back tears. Her arms loosely wrapped around him.

"Your father is one of the strongest people I know"

"I thought he wasn't my father" She had accidentally blurted out.

"You what?"

She pulled away from the hug and wiped her eyes, she still felt herself shaking. She had hid her hands in her pockets.

"There was this guy from my mom's past or whatever and I guess he was trying to get payback I guess because my mom put him in jail. So he was going to hurt me and my dad. To throw me off guard he told me he was my real father. He was lying but stupid me I believed him and I secretly ran a paternity test. Compared my samples between my dad and this bastard"

"What did they say?"

"I don't know. I didn't care because I know deep down it doesn't matter. Hank Voight is the only father I'll ever have. He's the only father I've ever known. I don't care what some piece of paper or some dickweed says. I know my father and right now he's fighting for his life and to get back to me"

Jordan still somehow impressed Will, for her to be sixteen and still a child, she sounded so wise for her age. He pulled her into a hug and gave her a brotherly kiss on her head.

"Sometimes I think you're 40 and not 16"

She chuckled a bit. "I feel that way too"

Jay had come up Will saw his brother and excused himself, he was going to check on Hank's surgery. Jordan slightly rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

"What do you want?"

"You were way out of line talking to Hailey like that"

"Does it seem like I care? She shouldn't have kept badgering me to talk when I told her to back off. She can't handle the truth that's not on me. That's her. Everything I told her was the truth just because you're scared to speak up and tell her the truth doesn't mean I won't. None of you won't speak up except my dad and me. You weren't afraid to speak up to tell Erin the truth yet you're afraid to do it with Hailey. Like I told her I don't feel like talking about anything that happened with my dad, so just leave me alone about it. You of all people knows what happens if I'm badgered about talking to someone"

"Whatever it is you should talk about the last time you didn't-" He was cut off by her.

"The last time I didn't talk I what? I used? I drank? Self harmed? This time ain't like last time far from it. This is one of those things you need to leave alone. Leave it and me alone"

"I can't do that and you know it"

"No Jay, that's where you're wrong. You can leave it alone, you're just choosing not to. For the last and final time, leave it and me alone. Otherwise you will get what Hailey got"

With that said she turned and went walking to the waiting area. She passed by it and sat on the floor near the doors going towards the operating rooms. The teen kept her eyes locked on the door, her mind still kept going back to the shooting.

Jordan felt as if she was back in the basement with Jacob holding Adam's gun. Tightly she started clenching her fist thinking of the hits, swings of the crow bar, snapping his fingers with the pliers. It was coming back to her. She pulled the gun when Jacob started to run off at the mouth. Antonio and Hailey found her, she was just about to back down and give the gun to them when the shit had started talking about her mother. She pulled the trigger..

Adam touched her shoulder and she jumped about fifteen feet up off the floor looking at him. Her breathing was heavy, her heart raced.

"You alright kiddo?" He sounded concerned.

"I'm fine. Just got startled that's all"

"Talk to me kiddo"

"I really don't wanna talk"

"It'll help you feel better"

"It won't nothing won't make me feel better except knowing if my dad will live"

"He will your dad is one of the most toughest, strongest and bravest people I know"

"Sometimes those kinds of people fall" She choked up.

Adam had sat on the cold tile floor next to her and wrapped an arm around her pulling her close. Jordan shut her eyes tightly to block the burning sensation of the tears.

"I should have told my dad the truth about all of it"

"You had nothing to do with it"

"Yes I did" She sniffed, biting her lip. "I knew you guys were going after Jacob because he got out. My mom put him away and he got out, my dad wasn't gonna let him stay around. He'd been following me, we'd talk, I let him get close a little. One day I met up with him. We talked and he said my dad had been hiding something. He told me that he was my real dad"

That had completely stunned Adam before he could say anything Marcel came out taking off his scrub cap. Jordan shot up her hand reaching out grabbing a hold of Adam's squeezing tightly.

"How's my dad?" Jordan asked fearfully.

"Jordan your father.."