Jordan- 16
Walking to a room she stood in front of it, tears falling from her eyes as she was remembering her conversation with Marcel. She stopped in front of a room.
Seeing Marcel come from the OR Jordan looked at him with wide brown eyes, she gripped Adam's hand tightly
"How's my dad?" Jordan asked fearfully.
"Jordan your father.." He took a breath. "He's out of surgery and in recovery. He's not completely out of the woods yet. One of the bullets hit his spleen, we tried to take the damaged part out but we ended up taking the whole spleen. We managed to control the internal bleeding for the moment it could come back so for the moment we're going to monitor him closely for a while"
"But he's going to live right? He'll be alright?"
"I expect he should make a full recovery he will have a tough road ahead of him but he should be alright"
Looking in the room she saw her father laying on the bed, hooked up to machines and wires. Laying there sleeping peacefully and perfectly. She went in the room and sat in the chair next to his bed and gently took one of his hands in her hand and used the other to brush back his hair.
"You'll be alright daddy, I promise. Please wake up, don't leave me. You always promised me you'd come home. Please wake up and come back home. I'm not ready to let you go, I'll never be ready. Please just wake up dad. Please. I need you" Her voice cracked.
Laying her head on his arm she let out a few sobs but raised her head and wiped her eyes, she kept hold of his hand.
"I'm sorry I never told you the truth, I was afraid. I was afraid if I told and it would have been true. I'd lose you too. I thought I was protecting you from Jacob. I wanted to tell you so bad but I was scared, I didn't want you to think of mom any different. I didn't want you to think any different of me. You always protect me. I had to protect you, you always say the team protects you and you protect them. I have to protect you too. Somehow I will protect you. If I could go back and change it I would. I would have told you everything instead of lying. I'm sorry dad. I'm so sorry"
She had kept hold of his hand as she leaned back in the chair just looking at her father. Outside the room the Intelligence team was there watching the young teen with her father. Antonio and Hailey had been the only two who knew the truth about what she had done.
The others had heard about how Jordan went off on the blonde detective and just about tore her head off. They knew Jordan had been in the wrong about it, normally when the teen acted out or went off the only person to get her to back down and get her in line was Hank. She barely listened to anyone when she got like that. The only people she would listen to besides her father were Erin, Alvin, Trudy. And occasionally Antonio.
When the others tried they seemed as if they would get through to her but not all the way. Hailey had been steering clear of the teen for the moment, now that she had felt the partial temper of the teen she felt it would be better for her to cool off before going at it again. Antonio walked over giving her a coffee.
"Figured you could use this" He handed the cup over.
"Thanks" She took the cup and sipped the hot liquid.
"I heard about Jo going off on you. You doing ok?"
"I never expected anyone, let alone a kid to have that much anger"
"I've known Jordan since she was 11, she was always the sweetest kid. She's always had her father's tempers no question. She changed a lot"
"Why?"
"There's a lot about Jordan you don't know just yet. Her mother died when she was a baby so she never knew her mother. All she had was her father and brother. They were one of the tightest families I've ever seen. Nothing could break them apart. Until Hank's son, Justin, was murdered. Justin was just trying to help out a friend and in the end it got him killed. It tore Hank and Jordan apart very badly, Olive, Hank's daughter-in-law, took Justin's son and left Chicago. They were a complete mess, Hank had eventually come back but Jordan. She was a complete wreck, she started using drugs, drinking, self harmed, anything to numb her pain. Being she was too young to grieve her mother when Justin died it all hit her at once. I can't tell you how many times she'd overdosed, attempted suicide, drank herself to the point of passing out. It came out she slept with one of Adam's informant's and got pregnant, she lost the baby. Now this with Hank. She's angry, scared, on edge trying not to fall and slip into her old habits. When she gets like this she acts out in anger, the only person who makes her back off is Hank"
That had stunned the blonde detective more, she looked into the room at the teen who was stroking her father's hair back. Hailey had been broken out of her thoughts by Antonio continuing to talk.
"Jordan has always been loyal to her father, she always will be. Nothing will break the bond they have"
"And it doesn't excuse what she did. She beat, tortured and shot an unarmed man. He could have died"
"But he didn't. I will try and talk to her"
"You can try all you want, I ain't talking Tonio" Jordan said, at the door crossing her arms. "The bastard got lucky, that's all I did to him. He nearly killed my dad and talked trash about my mom. Be lucky you got him alive"
Antonio grabbed her wrist and pulled her down the hall to an empty room and closed the door Jordan shoved his hand off.
"Personal space dude"
"Jordan enough. This attitude of yours stops now"
"Antonio correct me but haven't we had this discussion. You're not my father so stop trying to act like it"
"No because right now, I'm the closest thing you've got to a father right now. You're scared and angry I get it but that doesn't give you the right to act out and go off on Hailey the way you did"
"She should have backed off when I said leave me alone. My dad could die and you wanna talk about what I did. I told you I'm not in the mood for talking so leave it and me alone"
She went for the door but he blocked her path. "Sit down, I'm far from done. Now sit down"
The teen sat down in the chair, her arms folded across her chest, Antonio grabbed a chair and sat across from her.
"You're angry, scared, on edge, afraid to slip into your old habits. That's understandable. But what's going to stop is how you talk to people and it stops now. There was no reason for you going off on Hailey the way you did. She is right because you committed multiple crimes that can land you in jail. Assault, assault with a deadly weapon, possession of a firearm, attempted murder. Had he died Jordan, you'd be facing murder charges. You could have faced 10-25 years if not life in prison. Is killing that guy really worth losing everything over? You're 16, you have so much to do in your future. You stole Adam's gun Jordan, do you have any idea how much trouble you could get him into?"
"He nearly killed my dad and talked trash about my mom. What'd you expect me to do? Let it slide? Not a chance. He got what he deserved"
"You let us handle it Jordan! It's our job. You're a child, you're to stay in a child's place"
"I'm not a child. I haven't been one in a long time"
"You knew everything the whole time didn't you. You knew about Jacob from the start" It had been more of a statement than a question.
"I need to get back to my dad"
As she got up he blocked the door again and stared her down with a sharp look. "We're not done so I suggest you sit back down now"
Jordan plopped back down in the chair. "So what if I knew about Jacob?"
"That changes things. This could be made to look premeditated"
"He started following me, I didn't go looking for him. One thing I know how to do is spot a tail. I knew someone had been following me, one day I followed him into a coffee shop. Added stuff to his coffee, hacked his phone. When he came out we talked, he mentioned how much I looked like my mom. I knew he had something to do with my mom. I didn't tell my dad because I wanted to get more of a read on him before I said anything. One day we got coffee and he said..he said he thought he was my father. There was no way in hell I was telling my dad or anyone for that matter. It played with my head. He tried to get me to listen, he touched me and I punched him. I gathered a sample of his blood and mine, I took another sample from me and my dad. I had it tested to see who was my father"
"What were the results?"
"I never opened them because I don't care. The only father I had and I'll ever have is Hank Voight. He's the only father I've ever known. Besides Jacob had only said it as a ploy to get me to lower my guard"
"Tell me about what happened"
"What's to tell? He almost killed my dad and hid him leaving him to die, he shot him, talked about my mom. I beat his ass and shot him"
"Jordan"
"Fine. I left school because I couldn't focus. I saw Adam in the parking lot. I was about to tell him what was going on when he told me about my dad's accident. I knew it was Jacob without a doubt, I got out and left and Adam came after me. I put him in a sleeper hold and once he was out I took his gun and car. I called Jacob to meet afterwards after you called I went rouge, I went to meet up with Jacob I knocked his ass out tied his wrists and ankles. Took him to one of his old houses, dragged him in, took him to the basement and tied him up. I was going to get him to tell me where my dad was. I beat him with a crowbar, broke his fingers, I was about to put him out of his misery when Hailey showed up. You know the rest. If you wanna arrest me go ahead, just let me be with my dad for now then you can do whatever you want to me. All I ask is you let me be with my dad first"
"This isn't done yet Jordan, far from it"
She got up and went to the door. "Like I said, let me see my dad then you can do whatever you want with me. You and Hailey wanna talk about right and wrong. You guys aren't perfect either. Hailey has her demons, you have yours, I have mine. Nobody's perfect Antonio. If that had been the case we wouldn't live in the piece of shit world we live in now"
She left out going back to her father's room only she didn't go back, instead she had gone to the hospital chapel she lit a thin wooden stick and lit a candle. Jordan wasn't religious but being here had given her some kind of comfort. It was as if she could look up and talk to her mother, Justin, any of them. She sat on one of the benches and just sat there, the teen felt something looking down she had seen her hands still shaking she shoved them in her pocket.
Someone had come in and sat beside her, Will saw the teen and sat beside her. Jordan had thought it was someone from the team before she could say something she looked to see Will.
"How'd you find me?" Jordan asked.
"Chapel was on the way to your dad's room and I sorta saw you come in. How ya holding up?" Will replied.
"I don't wanna lose him but part of me knows if he doesn't wake up, I'm gonna have to accept the fact that.." She choked up. "I'll lose my dad next. He's the only parent I have and I'm getting this feeling that you, Marcel, one of you are gonna tell me he won't wake up and...I'm gonna have to let him go because he wouldn't want a machine to keep him alive. My dad, he has a DNR in place. His wishes are to not be resuscitated, when his heart stops" She felt more tears fall as she slouched forward running her hands through her hair. "When his heart stops, that's it. I have to let him go even when I don't want to and it'll kill me when I do have to let him go"
She cried more, Jordan hated crying in public and around people. It had made her feel weak and powerless. It had made her vunerable. She hated feeling that way, she knew if she was vulnerable or let her guard down that's when everything would get to her the most. Will had pulled her into a hug and she cried into his shoulder.
"Jo, we're not at that part yet. Your father can still wake up"
"What if he doesn't? I'll be alone and it'll be my fault because I lied to him"
"Jo, what happened wasn't in any way your fault"
"I lied to him,Will, that's my fault. He always protects me, I couldn't tell him the truth about him possibly not being my father. That would kill him, I couldn't do that to him. I won't do that to him. I had to protect him from the truth"
Will had just rubbed her back and he looked back at her. "How did you know your father had a DNR?"
"After Justin died" She took a breath. "He knew Justin wouldn't get better or wake up. He knew Justin wouldn't wanna live that way. He made the decision to do it after that. He knows that if anything ever happens to him and the doctors tried everything in their power to help him, if they tried every resource they could and nothing works" Her breathing hitched as she choked on a sob. "His wishes are clear that he doesn't wanna be hooked up to machines, if there's no brain activity. He wants to be taken off any and all machines. Those are my father's wishes and I won't dishonor what he wants, I did enough of that after Justin died. My dad's wishes are that he wants to die in peace and I'm ok with it because like my brother, he wouldn't wanna live that way. Hooked up to a bunch of machines that's breathing for him, to keep his heart beating. He'd wanna die with peace, intredigty, and honor"
As much pain as the redhead saw the teen was in she was very smart for her age, she fully understood what her father wanted and didn't fight. He remembered when his father was on life support, he and Jay fought about the situation. In the end they chose to take their father off.
"I just don't know how I can live in a world without my dad. Not having my mom, I managed to do it. Losing Justin just about killed me, I thought maybe Olive and Daniel would stay but Olive left. That hurt most of all losing the last reminder I have of my brother. Then Lexi, Erin, Uncle Alvin, now my dad" She went on, tears falling down her red eyes and cheeks. "Every time I try and pull myself together and be in a world where I'm happy something always happens"
"You can find that, you always can find it"
Before Jordan could say something Will had been paged, it was about Hank. The teen looked at him and a worried look was on her face, she felt fear and anxiety shoot through her body more.
"What? What is it?"
"It's about your father"
Her eyes had grown wider as she bolted up off the bench and out the chapel, she had run down the halls like a bat outta hell. Her legs worked over time, her lungs burned as she couldn't breathe, she just about tripped as she stopped in front of her father's room. She had seen Marcel in there doing something but couldn't tell.
Thinking and fearing the worst she ran in to see Marcel talking with her father as he was awake. The surgeon looked to see the teen and smiled.
"Hey kid, I had Will paged to get you. Your old man's awake" Marcel says with a smile.
"Who you callin old doc?" Hank joked weakly.
"Everything seems to be good now Hank, I'll leave you and Jordan alone for some privacy"
Jordan hugged the surgeon before he left. "Thank you"
"Anytime kid"
Marcel had left, when he saw the teen go by her father's side he couldn't help but think about the short time he had with his daughter before she lost her fight to cancer. He just gently closed the door and left the father and daughter. Jordan saw her father awake and she couldn't help it but hug him with all her might.
As carefully and as cautiously as Hank could he used his good arm to hug his daughter. While she hugged her father fresh tears had leaked from her eyes onto his gown.
"I'm sorry dad, I'm so sorry" She spoke.
"Honey you didn't cause any of this" Hank told her.
"I lied about it. Jacob was stalking me, he said I reminded him of mom when they 'worked together' as he said. He told me something and it played with my head, I couldn't tell you because I thought you wouldn't love me or you'd see me differently"
"What did he tell you?" Hank's voice held worry and concern.
Her lip wobbled as her head lowered down. "He said you weren't my dad, he was"
That had stunned Hank but knew it hadn't been true, he was the only one Anna had been with when she got pregnant. All the while he was hunting Jacob, the dirty bastard had been playing mind games with his daughter.
"I should have told you, I know that but I was scared that if you knew. You wouldn't want anything to do with me. Maybe.. You'd stop loving me"
"Hey" Hank's voice was gentle but firm. "Jo look at me"
She looked at her father with teary brown eyes and red cheeks. Using his good arm he brought it up and used his thumb to wipe the tears away.
"No force on this Earth will ever make me look at you any different, I will never stop loving you. You are my daughter regardless of what a piece of paper or blood says. You're my little girl. Always and forever. I will never look at you any different and I'll never stop loving you"
"Dad there's more. When you were in the accident I knew he had something to do with it. I stole Adam's gun, I called him to meet up. I kidnapped, tortured, and almost killed him. I shot him with Adam's gun. He kept talking about you and mom. More so mom, I couldn't let him get away with it"
"Jordan, what the hell were you thinking?"
"I wasn't. I was just acting. I'm sorry dad. I'm so sorry. I told Antonio after I saw you he could do whatever he wanted all I wanted was to see you before I went to jail"
"We'll figure it out. But you will be grounded"
"Fair enough. Did they say how long you'll be here?"
"A few days. I'm still not completely out of the woods yet. I'm gonna have you stay between everyone on the team"
Hank knew his daughter didn't like being alone when she was in her state.
"I understand. I'll stay with Hailey later"
Jordan knew she had some serious apologizing to do to the blonde.
"There's something you're not telling me" Hank eyed his daughter.
"I kinda sorta went off on everyone. Hailey, Jay, Antonio. Hailey kept badgering me about talking about what I did. I wasn't in the mood to talk. Jay got involved. Antonio got me to talk about it. Well sorta made me"
"We will discuss that another time while you're on punishment"
"Understood. Are you alright? Feeling any pain?"
"I am but I have all I need right here" He put some hair behind her ear.
She laid on his chest one of her hands grabbing his. "I love you dad"
He kissed her head. "I love you too sweetheart. More than you'll ever know"
Hank knew he had a long recovery ahead of him and he'd be spending a lot of time at home. Being with his daughter would heal him more than anything in the world.