Day One;

"You aren't serious? The ravine van! I am not sitting in the back of that for the entire trip. No fucking way! There are most likely live STD's on the shag carpet. While I am sleeping they'll crawl all over my skin and infect me. I could throw up." A sour faced Alex sulked as she stared into an open doorway of a 1967 VW Love Machine.

"Alex, please, not already. I tore out the carpet & Cameron scrubbed it down. I put a clean rug and a bunch of pillows I stole from home so that it'd be comfortable. It's as STD free as I am." Jay winked.

Alex rolled her eyes and gave it a quick inspection, "It's better than being cramped into the Honda with Nelson. I can't believe that little anorexic twit is coming. Isn't it going to fuck up the life plan that she's lived by since birth?" Alex laughed herself into the back of the notorious van. Jay turned around from the driver seat and gave her a glare.

"I really don't want any drama going on for the next thousand or so miles Alex, drop it. Nelson can be pretty cool at times, she's really proving herself by coming along. But you're right, I don't know where running away with criminals fits in with graduated with a PHD in Political Science or whatever lame job she wants to pursue in life."

While Alex got comfortable Jay drove to pick up Emma, then he'd pick up Sean at his mom's house an hour away.

"Emma will probably go completely backwards in life and end up becoming a stripper in West Hollywood. Forgive me for saying that, but it's a possibility. You can't be little miss sunshine forever."

"Aren't you forgetting? We know she has a bad side, she sucked my dick in this very van!" Jay laughed alone. Alex got a rush of bad memories and all of a sudden felt bitter towards them both. She was looking forward to seeing Sean, she and he had some pretty good times in grade nine.

"Don't get all touchy Lexi. " Jay blurted out.

"Oh I'm not getting touchy." Alex sat up from the back of the van and leaned on the back of his seat. Whispering lightly in his ear she said, "I'm not getting touchy Jay, especially not with you." She leaned back into the rear of the van. Jay expects that kind of shit from her.

A few minutes later they got to Emma's. Emma was sitting on her front steps with four suitcases. Alex had brought one, and he and Sean shared one. Emma was really pushing it with them. She looked really out of place. How was she going to make it with three delinquents? Her blonde hair was straight and wavy, her jeans looked expensive, and her boots looked even more expensive.

Alex looked down at her outfit, an old sweatshirt & old jeans. Jay's outfit wasn't any better. But this wasn't about money, or status. Throughout the road trip the four of them had to be equals. Four teens who don't know what's in store for them, and who don't even want to have to look back. When Emma got into the back of the van Alex regained her confidence, by remembering how low Emma could sink. She said hello with a chuckle in the back of her mind. Jay had gotten out and retrieved Emma's luggage.

"Emma, you're bringing too much shit with you." Jay left her stuff sitting on the sidewalk and went around to the side opening of the van. "You can't bring all this, come on, you've gotta live life a little bit tougher than this."

Alex was loving this. She could see Emma carefully thinking about what was in each of the suitcases, and in her mind she was ransacking them struggling to decide which one to bring. "I…I want, no I need to bring all of them. It took me forever to orgainze and get ready. We are going to California, I don't want to look like shit."

She got a dirty look from Alex.

"It's not a huge deal Jay. You just want to make things harder for me. This is hard enough for me as it is, I don't need you to make me even more uncomfortable than I already am!" She got out of the van and started unzipping her suitcases.

"Uncomfortable? Well sorry that I don't have a limousine, or a fucking charter bus! Get real Nelson; if you've got the cash then buy a fucking plane ticket!" He got in the front seat of the van. Alex, with no guilt, got out and joined Emma in the unpacking.

"I knew that he'd give me shit for bring so much, but it was hard deciding what to bring." Emma lifted pieces of clothing and put them in two piles, bring, and leave behind.

"Bring jeans, face wash, one pair of shoes, condoms, & I don't know, a little bit of make up." Alex nodded and zipped up a suitcase she'd stuffed with things that she thought Emma should bring. She stood to her feet and threw it in the van. With doubt, Emma decided to just go for it. She stuffed the leftovers in the other three suitcases and put them in the house. Alex and Jay witness her parents kissing her goodbye and her little brother hugging her around the knees.

An hour later they arrived at Sean's parent's house. The ride there was silent. Alex laid in the back of the van texting someone or other. Emma had gotten into the front seat with Jay and the two drove in silence, with music keeping them from speaking.

Jay kept the van running and honked the horn four times. Sean ran out of the house as fast as he could and jumped in the back.

"Let's the fuck out of here!" Sean yelled. He was filled with adrenaline. Sean got up in between the two front seats and sat on the divider with his back turned to the front window. He had a huge smile and gave Jay a kiss on the cheek & then turned to Emma and gave her one. "This is un-fucking-believable!" Emma are you sure you're okay with this, because- She stopped him with a nod. Yes Sean, let's just not mention it. It's gonna be great."

"Glad you agree, because I'm not turning this van around for nothing'!" Jay pressed his foot on the gas to go ten miles faster.

Sean tapped Emma on the shoulder, "Em, you mind trading me places? I gotta talk to Jay."

She listened and made her way onto a body pillow sofa. Alex set her phone down and started to make small talk.

"So, how much cash you got on you?"

"Enough for gas, hotel rooms, and food. You?"

"I've got seventy five bucks."

"How much do Sean and Jay have?"

"Sean has an unnamed amount, and Jay has five bucks less than me."

"So…what do you guys think you're going to do?"

"It's about living in the now Emma, that's our motto throughout the whole trip. It we get into trouble then we'll hustle our way out of it. You know what a good card player I am and we'll be in NY in just ten hours. The plan is to stop in a small town, hit the taverns, and make some money while your precious blonde head is asleep, in the van. We haven't planned to stay in hotels. This van is all we've got. There's four sleeping bags, courtesy of my mom." Alex stopped talking and looked up at Emma. "You really aren't ready for this Em. But I wish you the best of luck."

Emma shook her head and said, "You guys need to stop saying that! What the hell do I need to do to prove that I'm not green-fucking-peace anymore! I dropped everything to go on this crazy adventure, even though I know that it's all just a big joke. I left all of my clothes at home, and brought some ridiculous things that don't even match. I am not ready for this… but I am going to do it anyways! So fuck you guys!" She threw a pillow at the bag of Jay's head; it missed him and hit the wheel. He used his left hand to remove it and throw it back to her but while he did this a car was changing lanes too fast and he didn't have time to react and slow down. Jay quickly slowed down causing a car behind them to almost rear end them. They were on a busy Canadian highway.

"Fuck Emma!" Sean turned around and glared at her.

"Idiot!" Jay finally got back in control.

Emma was now not in tears. "I'm so sorry Jay!"

Sean and Jay both started to yell again but Alex beat them to it.

"Don't even get mad, both of you. You guys have no clue what it's like being a girl. So before you jump her bones for freaking out, think of her situation. And get over it. We didn't die, we didn't crash. We're alright." Alex scooted closer to Emma. "That had better be your one and only freak out. I'm serious Nelson. Jay, let's drive 25 more miles, and we'll worry about getting out of the country tomorrow."

"Good idea." Sean said climbing to the back of the van.

Jay drove smoothly the rest of the way. Emma, Sean, and Alex laid in the back of the van and talked about Degrassi, a topic that everybody could relate to. They stopped at a small roadside motel & restaurant truck stop. It wasn't at all desirable but it was okay. They pulled in and were eager to get out of the van for a stretch.

"I'm sorry about my 'freak out' you guys, dinner's on me." Emma straightened her pants and allowed Sean to put his arm around her as they walked up to the restaurant. "I feel really stupid about it."

"Well you should." Jay said stepping along side of her. He gave her a smile, he was just kidding. But Alex pushed him anyways and ruffled his hair.

"Jerk." She said.

Sean gave Emma a squeeze and she replied with a smile.

"Emma you've hardly eaten anything, you're lying if you try and say you're not hungry." Alex interrogated.

Everyone else had hamburgers & fries, but Emma had a cup of soup & a cup of tea. Emma just shrugged her shoulders and replied, "Its okay. I had a huge going away dinner. You guys enjoy your meal."

Then Emma excused herself to the restroom. The three left sitting were all thinking the same thing.

"At the beginning of the year Emma and Manny started extreme dieting, it was all Paige could talk about for a week. Manny's lazy ass couldn't keep up, but Emma got really sick. She was in therapy for it, but I don't know the status of it now. She's thin, but Emma's always been thin. One would never be able to tell, with her wearing all those layers." Alex informed Sean and Jay.

"Wow, Emma had an eating disorder? I'm not going to ask her anything about it or anything, but it's definitely something I'm going to look out for now. Thank Alex." Sean replied.

"No problem, its shit like that that fills you in on why exactly Emma's doing this. Her life really isn't perfect, and we've all got to realize that and stop treating her like it is." Alex glared at Jay, who was sulking in the corner of the booth.

"Chill out, I just give her a bad time about things. She knows I'm just messing around. And I don't know why Emma would want to lose anymore weight; she hardly has any tits as it is!" Jay laughed.

"Not funny man!" Sean shouted leaning over the table and shoving Jay.

Jay stood up and got out of the booth, excusing himself to the restroom.

Just as Jay was walking down the hall Emma came out of the girls' room. He looked at her up and down. She was thin, and he was wrong about her breast. In the bathroom she'd removed her sweater and revealed a long sleeved red cotton shirt that clung formed her body perfectly. Her waist was nothing short of twenty three inches, which made her breasts look larger. He still had bets that it was most likely a push up bra doing all the work.

"Stop staring at me Jay." She caught him.

"Hey, it's not illegal to look is it? I can look, but don't worry I won't touch." He snaked past her, rubbing his arm against hers.

She stood in the hallway for a minute, putting her sweater back on. "Fucking insecurities." She muttered softly. When she got back to the table she realized everyone was done eating. The bill was sitting on the table; she picked it up and went to the front desk to pay. There was a freezer with pies and cakes in it. She was starving and wanted nothing more than a cherry cheesecake, but in the back of her mind she counted from one to five hundred. Too many calories.

"Damn, those look good." Alex said nudging her.

On the other side of her Sean was agreeing with Alex. "Hella good…." He smiled. Jay joined them and took a look at the deserts too. "Eh, I'm not too keen on desserts. But I could go for about six more burgers. Emma, pay the bill and let's get outta here." He nodded. She silently thanked him for that. If she turned it down then they'd just pester her with questions. Nobody really knows what it's like to be thin; if they did then they wouldn't be shoving shit down their throats.

The group leaned up against the van deciding on whether or not they should stay in the motel next to the restaurant or try the van. They took so long talking about it that when they finally go inside all of the rooms were filled.

"Well since I'm the only one that was already planning on sleeping in the van, that's where I'm headed." Jay shrugged.

"Em, I know that you don't want to sleep in there. So we're going to keep driving Jay." Sean raised him eyebrows to Jay.

"I'm sorry kids, but the next motel isn't but 45 miles from here. And from the looks of your driver, you guys would have better luck just camping out." The desk clerk said turning around getting four white sheets & four soft pillows.

"What are those four? You going to let us sleep on the floor or somethin'?" Alex chimed in.

The clerk laughed, "No silly, I'm going to sell these to you. That'll be $25.00."

Sean looked at Emma; he still treated her like she was fragile and delicate. Emma was calling all the shots, forcing her to do something or making her even the least bit uncomfortable would set her off again and they'd be dropping her off at the nearest Greyhound station.

"Look, this is all that I can offer kids." The woman said again.

"Well its fine with me." Alex pulled a wad of cash out of her pocket it and set it on the counter. Receiving the bundle of comfort, she told Emma and Sean to come on.

"I don't mind, really." Emma grabbed Sean's hand and led him out the door.

Jay had laid an old quilt in the back. It didn't look much different from when Emma has first got in it. It never had any seats, but it always had blankets and pillows. The thought crossed Emma's mind, "Was this the same gross bedding?" She accidentally said it aloud. Jay laughed, "Hell no. I tore all that shit out and brought these from home. Everything's clean, just a little old."

"Good." Alex threw the pillows and sheets at him. "You owe me twenty five bucks."

"You bought these?" He laughed.

"Yeah she did." Sean said, he got in the van and Jay laid the four pillows side by side. Things were cramped, and Emma knew that tonight would be uncomfortable.

Soon they were lying side by side. The order went like this; Alex, Jay, Emma, Sean. Alex lay on her stomach facing the wall of the van. Sean and Emma laid on their sides, her with her back to him. He was gently played with her hair. She didn't mind but she couldn't deny that it made her nervous. Emma faced Jay, who was lying on his back. It was dark in the van, except for false moonlight that came from a No Vacancy sign somewhat above them. Sean eventually turned over and started to snore. She could hear Jay's breathing. Was he asleep? She still had her jeans on, and her bra, and two sweaters. It was cold, but this was itchy. If she got up to dig through her things for something else she'd just wake everyone up. But she couldn't stand it. She let minutes pass before she sat up.

"Fuck." She whispered.

Another voice joined her in breaking the silence. "What is it?"

"Jay?" She couldn't see anything but felt him sit up as well.

"I'm uncomfortable."

"Well, I'm not leaving. So…"

"Not that kind of uncomfortable. It's my clothes. I've never been able to sleep in my clothes. I have to change. Do you have a flash light or something?"

He dug through his pocket, and then flicked out a lighter. She saw his face. His eyes were tired, and his hair was shaggy. He needed to shave too. His lips were red, and pouty. Fuck, he's gorgeous. She got out of her trance and said thanks.

"I put the bags in the front, here, I'll get them."

"I don't even know what's in there. Because of Alex's packing. But I'm sure that there's a t shirt or some shorts in there."

Jay made his way to the front without waking anybody up. He searched for Emma's bag. "Come up here."

He flicked the lighter so that she could see. When she got up he could tell why she was uncomfortable. Her tight jeans & layers of sweaters look horribly itchy.

She sat in the passenger seat and using the light of the flame dug through her bag.

"I can't believe this. There's hardly anything in here. Three shirts, deodorant, toothbrush, underwear; thank God, & another pair of jeans. Alex is crazy!"

"Shh!" He grabbed the bag from her hands, zipped it up and set it on the ground. He picked up another bag. He pulled out a t shirt, which was big enough to cover her down to her mid thigh. "This okay? You'll be chilled but there's an extra blanket." She took the shirt from him and checked it out. Knowing that she wouldn't sleep at all with what she had on she nodded her head. She waited for him to go back into the darkness, but he didn't move.

"Jay…"

"It's too risky anyways." He tucked the lighter into his pocket and everything was black again.

She vaguely saw him move to the back. He can still see her, maybe just her silhouette, but that's still enough to make her nervous. Emma got over her inhibitions and removed the two thick layers of clothing over her head. With her arms stretched high her stomach was revealed. Her ribs poked out over her skin. Jay was watching her, her skin looked white under the bright lights and she was glowing. When Emma got the shirts over her head she set them down next to her and unbuttoned her jeans. She was wearing a simple black bra, which gave her immediate cleavage. Jay's breathing got heavy. She stopped what she was doing and looked into the darkness.

"Like what you're seeing?" She said leaning back pulling her jeans down. Jay didn't reply, but she could still hear him breathing heavy. When her jeans were off she stopped for a minute, before unhooking her bra. Jay came out of the darkness and got back into the front seat. She almost yelled but didn't want Sean and Alex to see her naked in the passenger seat. He just looked at her, not at her body, but in her eyes. She didn't know what his intentions were. He put his hand on her knee. "Put the shirt on." He said loosely out of breathe. She quickly pulled it over her head and felt his hand slowly go above her knee and squeeze. She untucked her hair from the shirt and leaned over to kiss him. Everything with Jay was intense, and impulsive. He drew her too him without even trying. Jay turned his head away and she kissed him loudly on the cheek. He removed his hand from her leg and took her hand. He went to the back and laid down in his spot and Emma in hers. Their hands were still linked. Emma was too scared to say anything, she was afraid of Sean waking up. And scared of what she was getting into. Jay turned from lying on his back and let go of her hand. "What the hell do I think I'm doing?" Jay said to himself as he ran his right hand through her hair. He trailed his fingers across her lips and kissed her softly on the lips. Emma lay there practically limp letting Jay hold her head up and kiss her. He kissed her over and over again, taking his face away from hers each time, not allowing them to get into a heavy make out session. Each time he kissed her Emma craved more.

The sound of somebody turning over made both of them freeze. An arm snaked around Emma's waist and came really close to reaching Jay's torso that was hovering over her. Slowly Jay pulled away and lied on his back. Emma's heart was half stopped. Jay and Emma lay frozen until they fell asleep and woke up the next morning.

When it comes to Emma Nelson my dick goes hard and my knees get weak. Our chemistry is undeniable. And even though she's really grown as a person she's still that sullen girl that stole my heart those few nights. Sometimes I feel like I live my life in slow motion, shit happens and I get stuck on it. I don't move on from things as easily as I'll say that I do. From the time that Rick died, to now, it doesn't seem as if a lot of time has passed. I still feel a strong connection with Alex. Sean and I will always be best friends and he'll always be my conscience. And Emma will always be my beautiful forbidden fruit. I don't want to hurt Sean, because I know that he loves her. But I won't stop myself from having her, if she's willing.

Next chapter, Day Two. The group drives until they pass the Canadian border into New York. They celebrate coming to the states at a small town bar and Bed & Breakfast. Sean & Emma have some one on one time for the first time in a long time. Emma's in an awkward position, but nevertheless she's determined to make it to L.A.