When she ran out of tears, she straightened her dress, wiped her face, and smoothed her gloves out as best she could.

You don't have to do this, Mar, she reminded herself.

Taking a deep, determined breath, she stepped around the corner and strode into the ballroom, chin up.

Too late.

The worried look on Biana's face increased as she registered Marella's approach, taking in her flushed face and bright eyes and mussed hair in one quick look. "There you are," she said, half-relieved, half-exasperated. "What took you so long?"
"I-" But Marella was spared the awkwardness of answering as Biana said impatiently-

"Never mind. It doesn't matter anymore. Actually, we're kind of running late now, so maybe you could just go over the dance once or twice, quickly." She turned to Tam, who hadn't said a word since Marella entered the room, and placed a quick kiss on his lips. "I'll come to get you when the guests come," she commanded.

Tam nodded silently.

With one last, unreadable look at Marella, Biana swept out of the room, and Tam and Marella found themselves alone together in the great ballroom.

Marella awkwardly avoided Tam's gaze, fiddling with her gloves and staring at the floor. Tam might not have felt awkward himself if he hadn't noticed Marella's unease, but he did, and so the same unease descended upon him as well.

They might've stayed that way until Biana returned if it weren't for the musicians, who had finished setting up and began to tune their instruments for the upcoming dance.

Tam remembered why Marella was here in the first place and went up to her, holding out his hand. "Dance with me?"

Marella stepped forward apprehensively. She feebly rested her hand in his and he grasped it, wrapping his other arm close around her to rest his hand on her shoulder blade. They were barely six inches apart. Part of her was tempted to stare at her feet, but she met his gaze evenly with a confidence she didn't feel.

His eyes locked with hers, he drew her slowly through the complicated steps as if he were in a trance. He held her with all the grace and tenderness he'd ever used with another human being, and he gazed at her with unreadable awe.

Marella's pulse was racing and all the blood was rushing to her head, and the emotions that had slowly been dying every time she saw Tam and Biana together all rushed back in one wave.

She was in love.

She'd never stopped knowing it, but she'd stopped feeling it.

That was no longer the case.

Marella laughed a nervous, breathy sort of laugh, and Tam heard her and grinned.

"Trust me?"

Marella nodded.

On the next step, he dipped her. When she arrived back to dance hold, Tam grinned at her.

"I thought you didn't know how to do this waltz!" Marella protested.

"What if I just remembered?" Tam said mischievously, and Marella smacked him.

"No, why did you ask for help if you obviously don't need it?" Marella insisted.

Tam frowned. "Maybe it's none of your business," he countered.

An uncomfortable silence descended upon them as they completed the dance with a graceful half-turn.

"I'm sorry," Tam finally murmured, not meeting her eyes. "I know I can trust you - you've more than proven it." When he finally raised his eyes to hers, she was touched by the humility of his countenance.

"No, you're right," Marella said with difficulty. She'd known both Linh and Tam so long and been so closely connected with them that it was hard for her to admit it, but it was true. "It really is none of my business."

He took her hands, and she looked up, uncertain.

"I actually asked Linh for help on the dance because I needed to talk to her about something," he said uncomfortably.

Marella gently removed her hands from his grasp and put them behind her back, remembering (even if Tam didn't) that he was dating Biana and should respect their relationship.

As much as she wanted him not to.

"But now you're here, I… I think I'll ask you." Tam looked at her with such an absorbing mix of uncertainty and affection that she could not look away.

The silence grew long, and still Tam did not speak. He simply gazed at her with that pure, beautiful look that warmed her from her toes to the tips of her fiery hair.

Finally she looked away. "What was it you wanted to tell me?" she asked quietly.

His voice was barely a whisper. "I don't know."

Involuntarily, as if they were both driven by the same impulse, they leaned, ever-so-slightly, toward each other, till Marella could feel his soft breath against her forehead.

As if in a trance, Marella bent her head down, as if to rest it on his shoulder…

The moment broke, fragile as summer ice, as a familiar voice floated into the room. "Tam - come here please!"

Tam immediately jerked away, and Marella's heart sank. But she didn't move away from him yet - she would only leave when she had to.

Biana poked her head into the room, and her face cleared when she saw him. "Tam! It's time to greet the guests!" She looked at Marella and gave Tam a pointed look.

Tam straightened and nodded. "Yes, I know. I'll be there in a second."

"Now, Tam," she insisted. "We're on a schedule-"

Tam sighed. "I'm sorry - yes, I'm coming."

"Wait, Tam-" Marella placed a hand on his arm but instantly removed it - even through his sleeve, his skin burned her. Ultra-aware of Biana's eyes upon her, she stammered out, "Um, thanks for the dance…" Words failed her and she stopped trying. Instead, she hoped that her eyes communicated everything that she couldn't say.

Tam stepped back. His gaze flickered from Marella to Biana and back, and Marella knew she'd crossed a line. But she couldn't bring herself to care. "Thank you," she said again, helplessly.

Tam nodded, and she thought there was a small change in his eyes - in the way that he met her gaze; the way that he looked at her. He didn't know everything, but… maybe he was beginning to.

"Tam." Biana stood at the doorway, no longer impatient; just worried. Her eyes flickered from Marella to Tam and back again. "Tam, I…"

Tam walked over to her and took her arm; she smiled a relieved smile.

Marella felt a little part of her heart tear as she stood there watching them, rooted in place and unable to move, to breathe.

If this was love, she didn't want it.

If the tears in her heart were romance, she hated it.

If the tears every night were fantasy, she gave up her belief in it.

Because this hurt too much to bear.

But as Biana led Tam away, he looked back, and his gaze was such a mixture of confusion, and uncertainty, and… something fuller and greater than she'd ever witnessed that it was just enough to make her…

Hope.

But just a little.

And at midnight, it faded, and Marella was left cursing herself for ever letting herself think anything of it.