Why did it have to be this way? How could it all come to this? Marella wept, collapsed on her bed, alone and forgotten. The engagement. Tam, in a fancy suit, grinning the widest he ever had; radiating joy. Biana in pink, experiencing the moment of a lifetime. The words that had made their bond official. The onlookers, smiling and weeping and laughing. The day to remember forever. Only, when he said yes and looked upon the face of his beloved… it wouldn't be her. It wasn't her.
Her choking sobs relayed the breaking of hope, of heart, and of trust. She had built a barrier to her heart for everyone but him, foolishly trusting to fate and love. Believing that the seemingly impossible could and would happen. But she was a fool, and because she had trusted, she had broken.
A loud knock sounded on her door. She pressed her face against her pillow, ignoring it. The knocks came louder and louder.
"Why won't you just leave me alone?!" She screamed. The noise stopped.
Marella smacked her hand against her bed, first limply but then faster and harder, throwing her heartbreak into her fists as she pounded her bed ruthlessly, weeping helplessly. She was helpless, and she hated it. The feeling she'd experienced when she looked into his eyes the first time had lasted too long, twisting into something that only caused her pain. Maybe it was better that he was gone.
She peeled her face off her pillow and rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling. No. This wouldn't help anything. Sure, Tam was getting married. But her stupid, stubborn self wouldn't be able to give him up. Some inner part of herself seemed to see these things as a challenge - something to be overcome, not something to deal with. And no matter how she tried, she couldn't stop it.
So, if she couldn't accept his leaving, there was only one option left for her. She would leave herself.
The knock sounded at the door again, but Marella was too preoccupied now to notice. She got up quickly, pulled a trunk out of her closet, and began to pack frantically, throwing tunics, leggings, cloaks, and knickknacks into the box.
Yes. This is what had to be done. If she left, she wouldn't hurt anyone with her love. She could keep it to herself, let it tear her apart in solitude, and spare herself the daily torture of seeing Tam and his wife together. And maybe, just maybe, Tam would realize how much he missed her, and go after her, and -
Marella stopped packing and buried her face in her hands, cursing her stupid thoughts and her stupid hopes and her stupid one-track mind and -
And now she was crying again.
But this time she didn't let herself finish. She pushed the tears down, angry with herself, and finished packing.
The last things she grabbed were the map of the Lost Cities she was memorizing for school, the pendant her mother had given her at birth with her family name engraved on it, and finally the home crystal her father had given her when she started Foxfire eight years ago. She took the last item only as a precaution; she didn't expect to come home again for a long time.
It was only when she was holding a pathfinder to the light that she finally noticed the ring.
It was wedged in the crack between the heavy wooden door and the floorboards, radiant like crystallized fire. A ruby twinkled in its center with twelve tiny diamonds swirled around it like stars around the sun, all set deep in a circle of perfect gold.
The ring Tam always wore.
Then the light swept her away.