Here is the second chapter !

I didn't specify last time but the publication rate wiil be around once a month.

I have other fanfictions/translations project on the way.

So it takes time and planning :)

On that note, I wish you a good read !

21st December 857 - morning

This morning saw Eren sitting in the mess hall a little later than usual. Armin let him sleep-in knowing he had stayed up late. The young second lieutenant raised his cup of tea to his lips, letting the hubbub of the room comfort him. Seeing so much life made him feel better after all those years of uncertainty. Sometimes he still found it hard to get used to it, to realise that it was all real and that life was going on.

The threat of the titans was over. The threat of Mahr was over as well in an unexpected but welcome way, saving them from another bloody war. The losses on their side had been limited thanks to the fortuitous intervention of new allies.

Eren could never prevent the feeling of deep relief that ran through his entire being at the thought of having been able to avoid the prophetic genocide of his visions. He had seen this pre-written destiny against which he could do nothing in bits and pieces. A destiny that he was forced to accept. And he had been ready to make it come true, fool that he was at that time.

Until a grain of sand came to change everything.

Killing Historia was not an option nor was letting his brother go through with his plan. The last solution - which wasn't really one - Eren had ended up violently refusing it. This fate already written, how could the "other him" accept it? How could it be called "freedom" when the choice was taken out of his hands? How could it be believed that this was the only possible path? Only Eren truly understood how close the world had come to disaster. The hardest part had been accepting that he had acquiesced to this idea for years without ever questioning it. The guilt had consumed him long afterwards.

He took a second slice of rye bread, buttered it and spread jam on it. It still surprised him to find himself at the officers' table. He never thought it would ever happen. He had joined the army to annihilate the titans. He hadn't thought about anything else when he joined, he wasn't particularly interested in rising in ranks.

But the present saw him now as a second lieutenant for almost two years. Who would have bet on that?

There were only two other Lieutenants with him at the end of their breakfast at the table - Julia Berar, a tall, dynamic woman with short brown hair, and Dany Sturb, a shorter man with a full brown beard. Captain Levi had strained at this detail when he had been introduced to him, but Dany maintained it so well that he had found nothing to object to.

Eren liked them. Julia had a light and cheerful sense of humor where Dany was taciturn and straight-faced. These points of similarities with the Captain never ceased to amuse the soldiers, especially as the two got along rather well and formed from time to time a duet with a frightening sense of humor.

Strangely Julia and Dany were like two peas in a pod. They could tell when Eren withdrew within himself. They would then talk to each other, lulling the young man with their banter, sometimes amusing, other times more serious until they got up and left the table like right at this moment.

A movement in the periphery of his vision suddenly caught Eren's attention. He was pleased to see that Levi had not risen at dawn for he looked rested.

Eren couldn't help but feel his heart swell with affection at the sight of his Captain walking down the stairs of the small mess hall. The dark-haired man's blue-gray eyes caught his attention almost immediately and Eren gave him a gentle smile. The Captain took his tray to help himself from the kitchen before joining his second lieutenant.

"Oi Eren," Levi greeted him as he sat down next to him.

"Captain Levi, did you sleep well ?" Eren asked as he took another sip of tea.

The Captain nodded before pouring himself a cup from the tea Eren had made earlier. He didn't need to ask permission since an unspoken silent agreement three years earlier.

Eren still remembered it.

"

Once again a night terror prevented him from going back to sleep and Eren was now wandering the corridors of the inn. His heartbeat had been racing for hours, leaving him sweating and panting. He was reluctant to go to the stables for fear of getting sick on the way but on the other hand, he didn't want to wake up one of his fellow soldiers. Eren judged their relationship still too uncertain after all that he had done. He had hurt them deeply, all of them. Even though the situation in Paradis was improving it was difficult to forget the perilous situations he had led them into. And that's not counting his unannounced disappearance.

The look of betrayal in Connie and Sasha's eyes, the anger in Jean's, the sadness in Mikasa's and the emptiness and resignation in Armin's, Hange's distrust as if Eren was a grenade ready to blow up in their faces.All of these had made him realise that he had made the right decision. The torture he had endured had been worth it. The difficulties to come would be too. Because otherwise the future would have been much darker.

The worst had been Levi. Never had Eren seen him so cold in his rage, his features so frozen. It had moved him deeply and shaken him even more when he thought back to one of his visions a few weeks earlier. If the Syrcasian spy had not been with them he did not know how things would have turned out. Certainly not for the better.

And today, thanks to his choices, Paradis had fought within the Alliance the supremacy of the Mahr Empire. The remaining free nations, in a burst of courage and aided by thousands of resistance fighters from conquered countries, had launched an unprecedented counter-offensive that lasted for over a year. Led by Syrcasia and Paradis, the Alliance won back the freedom of the oppressed countries, city by city, village by village. Stripped of its titans and its ability to create them, Mahr found itself alone against a vastly superior strike force. But settled for so long, knowing the strategic points of their territories and thanks to corrupt Alliance politicians, the Mahr had bravely resisted to the point of starting to regain the upper hand.

Eventually, Eren went to the stables to scratch his mare's nose. Yet, after a few minutes it was obviously not enough to calm him down. Putting his arms around her neck, he buried his face in the long and soft mane of his four-legged friend. Her warmth, the beating of her heart and the smell of hay transported him to beloved memories.

He stayed in the stables until daybreak. At the first rays of sunlight he returned to the inn, exhausted, to wash and change. He needed a change, he wouldn't be able to keep it up like this for long. But there was so much to do. The war had just ended and Paradis was called upon to play a role on the world stage. Mahr had just capitulated to the trauma inflicted by Syrcasia. With two cities virtually wiped off the map within hours of each other, Syrcasia was rolling out the carpet of its technological advance. The entire Alliance appeared shocked. He had seen his companions and his Captain as appalled as they were horrified by the carnage, but Eren knew it was the lesser evil. He knew what would have happened if he had followed the destiny written by Ymir or... by this him from the future?

Lost in his thoughts Eren did not see the time pass and he went in haste to the inn's dining room that had welcomed them since the day before their return from the continent.

His anxiety went up a notch when all heads turned towards him. Even more so when he realised that the only free chair was to the right of the Captain as if the man was waiting for him there. The soldiers resumed their breakfast. Only Mikasa watched Eren sit down.

Eren's heart was in his mouth, or as the Syrcasian Minister of International Relations would have so eloquently put it in his native langage, "les dents du fond qui baignent"*. Apart from liquid he would have difficulty swallowing anything.

Staring into space he picked up his cup and mechanically reached for the teapot on his left. He paid no attention to the abrupt silence around him.

Everyone knew that the Captain had his own tea, of much better quality than the one provided in the subsidies and which he looked after preciously. A tea he rarely shared.

Eren didn't see Levi's eyes widen in surprise before he gave an amused smile. It was Armin who told him his mistake afterwards.

A mistake, a terribly embarrassed Eren, had then kept well from repeating.

Strangely after this scene, at each meal, the place at the right of the Captain remained free. Eren finally understood, with a lump in his throat and his eyes a little too bright, that this was exactly what his superior wanted.

A few days later Levi wordlessly pushed his teapot towards Eren.

The next day too.

"

Eren remembered with a painful nostalgia that gripped his insides those evenings of sharing tea with Levi years before when he was still a cadet. It was this habit that had helped him and Levi get through the brutal death of the Captain's squad. He ended it when he realised the future that awaited him.

Levi had tried several times to invite him back, but he had always found an excuse and the Captain had not insisted. Afterwards, probably too busy with the risk of their imminent invasion and crushed by the weight of his responsibilities, he had never mentioned it again.

"Which kind this morning, Jaëger?"

Levi's question brought him back to the present. Eren turned his face towards him with a slight smile. The latter was staring at him, an inquisitive eyebrow indicating that he was waiting for his answer.

"Assam, Captain. A spicy one."

"Very strong."

"Yes, it will keep us going until tonight."

Levi let out an "mmh" of assent. Eren felt comfortable next to Levi, his presence reassuring him. It hadn't been that long since he'd been back as a full member of the older man's team again come to think of it. The return had been an ordeal, his welcome filled with suspicion, coldness and anger. Hange had initially objected to his remaining on active duty. Eren had understood from his Captain's silence that he too had reservations.

It had taken that night of terror, when his depression and the symptoms of his post-traumatic stress disorder had hit him so hard, leading him on a path that he had thought was a one-way ticket to madness. A night where he lost all spatial and temporal references, not knowing at times where he was.

His relationship with Levi had been changed forever. The Captain had reached out to him and Eren had grabbed his hand despite the deep guilt he felt. Since then, they had been slowly rebuilding their bond in a way that now caused Eren as much pleasure as it did anxiety.

"Thank you for the tea last night Eren", the jet-haired man suddenly thanked him. "It was excellent."

"You're welcome", Eren thanked him with a small tingle of satisfaction in his stomach before the dark-haired man continued.

"I just hope you didn't ruin yourself. I know how expensive some brands can be."

"Don't worry Captain, it won't put me in the red financially."

He felt Levi watching his profile for a brief moment before returning to his breakfast while grumbling.

"I'm buying next time Eren, really. This is the third time in a short time, don't tell me it doesn't affect your finances a bit."

Even though they hadn't been sharing tea alone together late at night for a long time, they had created another habit besides sharing their morning pot of tea.

It was Eren who had timidly engaged it a few months after his return. A way of extending an olive branch even though he felt unworthy of any sympathy. But the weight of his loneliness and his terrors had become too heavy to bear. Knowing Levi would return late from another meeting, he had left near the Captains' door; tea leaves from his own stash with a cup and a burning pot of water. To say he was nervous while waiting for Levi's verdict was not an exaggeration. The idea had come to him suddenly at a moment when his isolation and his feelings for Levi had collided to create this strange scene in his mind. And he had rushed to make it happen.

The next day had begun with a firm hand ruffling his hair at breakfast - messing up his bun in the process - but not only that. To his astonishment, Eren had found a few days later in his jacket pocket, five small pear and apple berlingots* delicately wrapped in a handkerchief.

This had clearly not helped his attraction for the Captain.

An attraction that he knew would never be returned and why he would never breathe a word of it to Levi. Being reinstated to his squad and sharing what seemed to Eren to be a still fragile friendship with him was more than he had ever hoped for. He knew he would have to settle for that.

"I'm going to have to keep score if this keeps up," Levi grumbled, but with no ill will in his tone.

Unfortunately, Eren didn't see it that way at the time.

"I'm not doing this so you'll return the favor Captain," he protested, a little annoyed.

They had never really talked about these exchanges but if there was one thing Eren didn't want, it was for the Captain to feel indebted. He didn't care about keeping score. All he wanted was to be able to give Levi what little affection he could afford without his more ardent feelings being visible in the open.

"Tch! I know Eren, you don't have to shit a brick!"

Levi's dry answer left him sheepish.

Bravo Eren, bravo. Really, well done.

At least the Captain noticed he was doing this because he appreciated him.

"Sorry," he replied, sighing and rubbing the bridge of his nose a little disappointed at his own reaction.

"Leave it," Levi reassured him, raising a hand in a gesture of appeasement before beginning to cut his apple into quarters. "I was a bit brusque."

Eren let out an "mmh" of acquiescence and silently finished his breakfast. A small amused smile played on his lips, however. In retrospect he took Levi's remark with humor, for most of the time, even when rested, the dark-haired man was in a sullen mood before his first cup of tea.

"What are you smiling about, brat ?"

Eren blinked in surprise. He hadn't noticed Levi had continued to look at him, one eyebrow raised and - even more surprising! - the corners of his mouth curved upwards slightly.

"That's my shitty temper before my first cup, right?"

The combination of the phrasing and the Captain's mocking tone got the better of Eren who let out an amused chuckle. This was one of the many things the young man liked about his relationship with Levi. The dark-haired man was watching him with a calm air, his steaming cup of tea in his hands and a hint of mischief so rare in his blue-gray irises.

"One can say that," couldn't help answering Eren, teasing in his turn by leaning slightly towards Levi.

The "Tch!" which followed only increased the hilarity of the young man whose smile widened.

"I find you quite insolent this morning," the Captain scolded him without any bite behind his words. "Well, if you feel so strongly about it, you…"

Levi was suddenly silent. Eren waited, intrigued, for the next part.

"Captain?" he asked.

Eren didn't notice the jerky movement of Levi's Adam's apple as he pretended to bring his tea cup to his lips.

"No, nothing."

Eren raised his eyebrows, unconvinced, but Levi returned his gaze without blinking. At the prolonged silence, Eren finally resigned himself and decided to join his Lieutenant.

"See you in twenty minutes Captain", he greeted warmly before leaving the table.

However the young man sighed while going to deposit his plate for cleaning. The captain, although admirable, had never been an easy man. Not to live with, no. Once one knew his standards of hygiene and applied oneself to his tasks and training, life was quite simple with him. The most difficult thing was to understand the man, which for a long time was almost an impossible task, as he was not very open to others. Even if, to his great pleasure, his relationship with the captain has flourished since his return, Levi had had mood swings these last months that left him a little disconcerted. They were often fleeting and quickly subsided, sometimes softened by a joke as just now. However, they were numerous enough for Eren to notice them and ask himself some questions.

In the absence of any explanations he could at least appreciate the fact that he was now able to read many of his Captain's emotions, to recognise some of his little quirks outside of his propensity to clean as well as some of his habits, what he liked or disliked.

He liked the dynamic they had established between them. Finally serene, Eren could now fully appreciate the extent of the years that lay before him. The young man savored every moment he could the complicity he had rebuilt with the Captain, something that couldn't be said about the relationship with his comrades… and friends.

Eren was not blind to himself, contrary to what others could think. He had held onto his childlike admiration for Levi for a long time, even if it had been shaken after the takeover of Shiganshina. It had always remained but it had become more mature and realistic, imbued with an even greater respect before other feelings were added as well. The… dare he say friendship, slowly rebuilt over the past three years had let his teenage crush - which he had never wanted to acknowledge, but which had never really gone away – had turned into a tenderness and then a peaceful love. The more Levi opened up to him and let him get a glimpse of his personality - and Sina knew what an exercise in patience this was - the more Eren fell for the man.

So it was all the more tragic for him to know that nothing more would happen between them. But after all the pain, violence and horror they'd been through, Eren was willing to settle for that. At least... if things stayed as they were.

What if Levi found someone to share his life with? Eren could feel his throat tightening at the thought of it. It was a reality he may have to face one day, though.

The "brat" Levi had carelessly thrown out a few minutes earlier had hurt him even more, driving the point home of his own failings. He had quickly realised that the Captain was decorrelating him from the term, while he continued to use it for the rest of the squad. Until today... A cruel reminder of their age difference.

With his hands shoved into his pants pockets he walked towards the exit, his shoulders a little more hunched than usual.

He didn't see the Captain's blue-gray eyes following him until the doors stopped swinging.

*les dents du fond qui baignent : is a French idiom meaning you're going to puke if continue to eat. However, in current language it can sometimes mean to have your heart was in your mouth.

*berlingots : hard candies with a fruity taste (strawberry, lemon, orange...) which were very common in the 19th and a good part of the 20th century. They still exist but are less common today. They goe back even further than the 19th century but the ones we know the most are from that period.

If you want to know what they look like, you can go to this address: .fr/gastronomie/le-berlingot-de-carpentras/

Chapter 3 is in progress.

You can of course find me on ffnet and Wattpad, and even on Instagram (wordsof_raven).

I'll post excerpts of the upcoming chapters ;)

See you soon!