Sup everyone, Inhuman here! I have a small author's note at the bottom of this, so you can read it if you're interested! Beyond that, Enjoy the Show!
"Ichi-nii! Are you sure you're okay with just what you ate?" Yuzu, bless her soul, worriedly asked. She was holding my breakfast plate, having not yet boxed up the half of the meal that remained. I smiled encouragingly, and ruffled her hair, which she of course nuzzled into.
"I know it's not as much as I should be eating, but it's gonna take me some time for me to eat like I used to. For now, that's more than enough for me." I assured before standing up from my seat at the table. "Alright, we're off." I announced, Unohana next to me and Yoruichi sitting on my right shoulder.
"Have a good day at school, Ichi-nii!" Yuzu beamed.
"See ya." Karin waved.
"Remember, Ichigo! Just because you time traveled and know all the lessons doesn't mean you can skip class to go somewhere private and-" I was too stunned at hearing my Dad acting like a dumbass again to react, but a single far-too-innocent smile from Unohana hit him with enough force to make the man scream in fear and cower behind the wall. I couldn't help the laughter that bubbled out of my throat at his reaction, and placed a hand at the small of my nurse's back to gently push her towards the front door. Once we left the house and were walking on the street, the raven haired woman adjusted her clothes, clearly not used to modern clothing. She wore an ankle length black skirt and a black and orange stripped turtleneck sweater, her hair in her usual front-braid. Blue pumps adorned her feet.
"I can say for certain I didn't miss Shiba-san's more energetic antics." She huffed.
"Oh, I know." Yoruichi moaned. "If only I didn't know he could actually be serious, I'd be able to deal with it."
"Quite. It's almost like two different people, the respectable, if a little too laidback, captain of the tenth and the manchild who urges his son to sleep with anyone with a vagina."
"Eh, you're a little off there." I spoke up. "For a while, he also would insinuate about me doing stuff with Chad and Keigo, but he found a porn mag Keigo left in my room while snooping one time and realized I was straight."
"Well, at least he's nonjudgmental about who you're interested in." Yoruichi supplied.
"That really doesn't put much in his favor." Unohana drawled.
"I mean, technically, if you wanna put it that way, you can thank the fact that I didn't want to be anything like him for me turning out the way I did."
"That's something, at least." The werecat shrugged. With that, our little discussion stopped as we walked through the streets of Karakura. I picked at the wrists of my new uniform and tried to fix my pants, being less uncomfortable with the clothes and more annoyed that they were new and therefore stiff. During their trip to the Urahara Shop yesterday, Unohana and Yoruichi had thought to ask Kisuke for a few new sets of clothes, realizing where I hadn't that my human body would reshape itself to better reflect my spirit body. It had been entirely thanks to Unohana keeping a numbing kido active that I hadn't been groaning in pain for hours as my body shifted and scarred. When it finished and I saw that the multitude of marks from battles now littered my skin, I resigned myself to the inevitable onslaught of questions and rumors. As Keigo had pointed out to Uryu yesterday, my reputation as someone who regularly beat up gang members superseded everything else about me, and coming back to school after a month covered in scars would not help that. At the very least, it would be amusing to hear about what explanation they come up with for me being half a foot taller. As we came closer to Karakura High and lined up with the more common routes other students took, I caught the beginnings of what would probably be a massive explosion of drama and gossip. Several groups of teens in uniform huddled together around us as we caught their eye. Well, when I say we, I obviously mean I. With minute use of my hollow hearing, I picked up on the whispers.
"Do you see that? Someone's trying to take Kurosaki-san's look! I don't know who it is, but they really went the extra mile! If it weren't for the fact that he's not scowling and he's covered in a bunch of scars, I'd have thought that was him!"
"Is that Kurosaki-san? After a month, he's come back? And look who he's hanging out with!"
"Is someone trying to pretend to be Kurosaki-san? They clearly only heard about him through rumors, Kurosaki-san never had any scars!"
"What does it matter if it's Kurosaki-san coming back or someone posing as him? As long as they act the same, and don't look my way, I don't care."
"Hey, hey, hey, look! It's Kurosaki-san! So many scars, do you think he really got into some trouble with the yakuza like they say?" Is that what people are thinking happened to me?
"Woah, look at that babe next to the Kurosaki wannabe!" My eye twitched. "She's stacked! Man, I wish she had tighter-fitting clothes." I was going to find out who that voice belonged to. Was he one of the unfortunate students who became spiritually aware because of me? It was better to not take a chance. I pinged him with my Pesquisa to get familiar with his signature.
"I-!" Someone shouted to my left, but was cut off as I reached out with my right hand and grabbed the collar of the person coming at me. I brought up my left hand to slam into their stomach and flip them over as my right pulled them down, crashing them into the asphalt painfully. If I weren't in my human body, I would've cracked a rib. My eyes snapped to their face, and I immediately hung my head as I sighed.
"Keigo, given what I told you yesterday, did you really think it was a good idea to jump out at me?" I shook my head as I lifted him up, pulling up his shirt to display his stomach as Unohana leaned in to get a look.
"…Yeah, wasn't one of my brightest moments." He wheezed as Unohana analyzed the forming fist-sized bruise.
"From what I can tell by your breathing and speech, it's nothing more than a bruise." The medic explained. "You should be grateful, I'm sure you're aware of how much worse that could've gone had the circumstances been different." He was visibly lost for a moment before I made a slashing gesture with my hand. His eyes widened and his face drained of color.
"O-oh. Yeah. That." He gulped. "That hasn't happened, right?"
"Well," I grunted, "I did punch Unohana in the face, break her nose, and throw Shiro at her when I woke up from a nightmare one time." The brunet's face only grew paler.
"Thankfully, it was Shiro himself that you threw at me, and not your sword." I nodded in agreement. Keigo blinked.
"…Um, have you done, y'know, that?" He was rightfully concerned about the answer.
"A few times." I mournfully replied.
"Oh shit." The brunet sweat.
"Moving on," I announced, eager to switch topics, "Keigo, this is Unohana Retsu and Shihoin Yoruichi. Unohana, Yoruichi, this is one of my friends, Asano Keigo." Unohana bowed politely as Yoruichi waved.
"Pleasure to meet you, Asano-san." My nurse greeted. Keigo luckily was able to collect himself enough to bow in turn.
"Nice to meet you as well, Unohana-san, Shihoin-san. I take it you two are some of Ichigo's 'other' friends?" The raven-haired woman giggled behind a hand.
"You are right, but I'd recommend you be careful with your wording. If some of the comments I've caught are anything to go by, someone may get the wrong impression of us."
"Don't say that like you're that far off. Hell, you're probably worse." I pointed out. To Keigo's visible horror, she didn't respond outside of that same polite giggle. The brunet gulped audibly.
"Man, Ichigo, you, uh, really spread your boundaries…" His voice shook. I tilted my head in thought, before shrugging.
"I was in denial about it when I was younger, but I like to fight. Unohana and I are very good sparring partners." It was at this point that Mizuiro fell into step to Keigo's right, tapping away at his phone as he always did.
'Is it weird that I find Mizuiro's texting kinda relaxing?'
'Don't ask me, I got no clue how normal people work.'
'I am largely unaware of how psychology works beyond what is relevant for war, but I'd assume there is nothing wrong with it.' Well, my zanpakuto wasn't the most useful for a question like that, but I would've been surprised if they were. It wasn't exactly the area of expertise for any of us.
"Hey Mizuiro." I instead chose to nod in hello.
"Hey Ichigo." He responded politely. The teen sounded in a good mood.
"Since they weren't with me yesterday, this is Unohana and Yoruichi." The dark-haired boy lifted his head and waved.
"Nice to meet ya. You two are some of Ichigo's new friends, I figure?" Both women nodded.
"Indeed. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mizuiro-san." The endlessly texting boy opened his mouth to respond only for a different voice to enter my perception.
"Looks like you still keep your word, at least." As much as I tried, there was no hiding the full-body flinch that went through me. I ended up being the last to look ahead and spot Tatsuki a few feet in front of us, her bag hanging from her fingers over her shoulder. She walked forward until she could look me squarely in the eye, and stared for a moment. "You don't seem like you're halfway through a panic attack like a few days ago, either. Is going to school really helping you that much?"
"Uh, well, I," My words fumbled uselessly through my mouth for a period before Shiro gave me the spiritual equivalent of a slap in the face. "I mean, hearing everybody gossip about me gave me a pretty good laugh. Also someone's already on my shit list." I tacked on. My human friends all shared a laugh at that, and we continued on our way just like always.
"Aw, yeah, seeing you with all those scars is probably making everybody think you claimed a new position as the head of the Yakuza." The martial artist snickered. I perked up at that.
"Yeah, I heard a couple people talking about some rumors that I was kidnapped by the yakuza. Is that seriously what people think?" My childhood friend shrugged as Keigo moved to speak.
"The teachers said your dad told them you and the others went to some internship, and people believed that for a bit 'cuz Ishida and Inoue went. But when they came back without you and refused to talk about you, the rumors started. The two most popular ones are that you either were kidnapped by or joined the Yakuza." A genuine laugh fell from my mouth.
"Damn, they can't even think of a possibility where I'm not related to gang stuff, huh?"
"I mean, props to you though," Tatsuki offered, "Not once did someone think you were dead. Everyone seemed pretty sure that you could at least hold your own if it came down to it." This time Shiro laughed along with me.
"At least I got that going for me. Makes you wonder why actual gangs keep trying to start shit with me if everyone is sure I wouldn't lose."
"How would you fair against the Yakuza?" Mizuiro wondered aloud.
"They would die." Unohana and I answered in sync.
"Even, um, as you are?" Tatsuki, thankfully, was smart enough to phrase that in a non-suspicious way.
"I can still 'let loose' a little bit. Too much would probably not be good for my body, but I could definitely do enough that it wouldn't be a fight."
"Sorry to interrupt," Unohana suddenly announced, "The three of us need to report to the staff about our situation going forward." I blinked and realized we were in the halls of Karakura High. Must've been too invested in the conversation.
"Oh, yeah, that makes sense." Tatsuki nodded. "See ya in class, then!" I waved in farewell as the group split in two.
"Here's hoping everything went through smoothly." I muttered.
"I mean, it's Kisuke we're talking about here. As crazy as he is, he makes sure everything goes as smoothly as possible." Yoruichi kept her voice quiet.
"Yeah, it's just that shit like this isn't an area he's familiar with." Was my reasoning.
"You know how paranoid he is. I'm positive he probably knew everything about it in advance and still double checked his information before submitting the forms." I hummed in acquiescence.
The three of us were in the hall, waiting for Ms. Ochi to call us in to re-introduce me to the class. Unohana was standing with her hands clasped behind her while I leaned back against the wall, Yoruichi having demanded to have me hold her in my arms. She had stated it would be romantic, and I had been this close to bursting into laughter.
"You can come in now!" I heard, and wasted no time in pushing off from the wall as I brought Yoruichi up to return to her place atop my shoulder. I slid the door open and stepped aside to allow Unohana first, which brought an amused quirk to her lips. I shut the door after I walked in and we stood at the front of the room as the teacher spoke. "As I'm sure you've heard, Kurosaki-san has returned. We've been given approval to state that an accident occurred during the internship he shared with Ishida, Inoue, and Sado. Due to this accident, he now has a personal nurse, Dr. Unohana Retsu, and a…" Ms. Ochi's eye twitched, and I had to fight to not smirk, knowing how absurd the following statement sounded. "Therapy cat by the name of Yoruichi." The feline in question's tail flicked in amusement, brushing against my shoulder. "Please treat them all with care. Kurosaki-san, you may return to your old seat." I did as prompted, noticing that the desks had been slightly arranged to accommodate a seat being placed close to my own. I placed my bag underneath my seat as I remembered I used to do and sat, Unohana taking the new seat that was to my left. It was just a seat, not a desk, and I couldn't help but wonder why they chose to add a seat in the first place. I certainly hadn't specified any need or interest in Unohana being in my immediate proximity in my message to Kisuke. From what I knew, nurses generally just sat in a corner, or some other place where they wouldn't interrupt the lesson. Was it more of Kisuke's shenanigans? Maybe a little bit of passive-aggression at having no fucking clue what was going on with me? If it was, that would make my day. The image of Kisuke having the tables turned, being the only one in the dark, and being mad about it was a hilarious one.
"Before we continue with today's lesson, Kurosaki's return isn't the only new addition to the class." I perked up. Was Shinji supposed to try to recruit me yet? Staying an extra two weeks I wasn't supposed to fucked with my mental timetable a bit. If I remembered correctly, Kisuke had warned the Vizard about my hollow after I left to rescue Rukia, but they stuck back and watched me until they noticed the tell-tale signs of a power struggle. Did I speed up their timetable by accident by getting Kisuke to enroll Unohana and Yoruichi as literal mental support? "Welcome, Kenzaki Ryusei, Enkogawa Rusaburo, and Kasumioji Rurichiyo." …Well, that wasn't right. Was it? I disregarded their entrance as I lifted a hand to my chin. When did the whole bullshit surrounding the Kasumioji go down? I sorta remember using my hollow mask at some point during that whole mess, so I had already gone through my Vizard training. It obviously was before Orihime got kidnapped by Ulquiorra. Was Ulquiorra's and Yammy's entrance first? Wait, it had to be, because I first decided I needed to deal with my hollow after my first fight against Grimmjow. Yeah, because I was only able to hold my mask for eleven seconds the second time I fought him. Hold on, then that whole crap happened between my second fight with Grimmjow and Orihime getting kidnapped. God, that was a clusterfuck of a time, wasn't it? Which only made it more annoying figuring out if this was supposed to happen right now or not, because I didn't have to deal with the arrancar attacks this time. Okay, so it was like, three days after we got back from the Soul Society that Ulquiorra and Yammy came to scout everybody? Something like that. And then…it was, two more days before Toshiro's group was assigned to Karakura? And, was it another two days before Grimmjow came down the first time? Or was it one? Let's go with two for safety. So that's one week. Then I went to the Vizards for training, I used that stupid-ass, completely fucking useless elliptical, then they let me fight my hollow, and started practicing with calling out and maintaining my mask. It was the second day into my Vizard training that Grimmjow came for round 2, so that makes nine days. Then…I… Zangetsu supplied me with memories. Ah! I went to the Soul Society, for some reason, the next day. There we got attacked by the Magia guy because he didn't know I was friends with the Seireitei. Wait, Amagai. That was his name. And then like three days after that Rurichiyo went to the World of the Living to go into hiding. That's thirteen days. Not seventeen, which it was now. So I did move the timetable! Backwards, but I moved it.
…That's not a good thing. Well, I don't have to worry about the Quincy engaging early, because Yhwach literally couldn't act yet. There was no way to make his power stabilize faster, so no amount of shifting events around could cause the Blood War to start early. But that does mean everything else that happened between now and then would be all screwy. Fuck.
A paw pressed against my cheek. I blinked and refocused on my surroundings, finding the class staring at me. Ms. Ochi seemed caught off guard, and a math equation was written on the board behind her.
"Ms. Ochi was hoping you could solve the equation on the board, Ichigo." Unohana supplied. Without preamble, I read what it said.
"X equals 12." I stated calmly. There was a beat where I thought I saw concern on the teacher's face, before she nodded in affirmation and turned to write a new equation.
'Is it cheating if I just remembered what the answer was?'
'They can't prove it. And they would sound insane if they tried.' Shiro sounded smug.
'You know how to solve it anyway, so it's a moot point.' Old Man monotoned. Yoruichi slinked down from my shoulder into my lap, curling into a ball to take a nap. My left hand absentmindedly came down to pet her as I jotted down notes in a notebook. Unfortunately for my teacher, it was wholly unrelated to classwork, as I was instead conversing with Zangetsu to remember what events unrelated to Aizen or Yhwach we had to accommodate for. It wasn't proper planning, as none of the events were of any real significant scale. Well, that was technically wrong. There were a few scuffles that would've had some serious consequences if not resolved, but most of them were relatively easy for me to deal with in my false bankai. I'm fairly certain I might not even need to release Shikai for some stuff, it was just that I was now aware that the timing of it might be off. A curious glance to the side displayed Unohana, whom I could tell was suppressing awe at how education in the Living World has evolved. Some of the advanced classes for academy students in their final years touched on some of the stuff we were learning, but the Academy mostly focused on training Shinigami to effectively do their jobs, and algebra wasn't exactly a necessity for filling out paperwork. I tapped the end of my pencil against the paper of my notebook rhythmically as I continued to discuss with Zangetsu. It was nice, especially once I managed to time it with my heartbeat. Which, of course, meant the bell wasted no time ringing. I flinched, having temporarily forgotten about it. A look towards the clock drew a sigh out, and I shifted in my seat. I was unsure of what to think about how fidgety I was getting. Staying in one place too long had kinda been carved out of me from the wars, but also this was school and nothing ever attacked me in class, so I had no reason to be on guard. However, sitting at a desk, surrounded by students that would get horrifically in the way if something were to happen, in the awkward to maneuver space of almost two dozen other desks, made my brain scream at me something fierce. Too much shit in the way, too many bodies in such a small space, too easy for an enemy to take advantage of. I was startled out of my analysis once again by the bell, noticing that the next teacher had already taken Ms. Ochi's place. Rurichiyo was staring at me in suspicion and confusion, which was already different from last time where she didn't even notice my presence. It was probably because she noticed Unohana, I doubt that she'd have been informed of my presence in the Soul Society yet. Considering all the bullshit that lead to her hiding here, keeping up on public affairs shouldn't be all that high on the priority list. A sigh left my throat once again and I began mentally preparing for the inevitable shitshow what was going to be lunch. I quickly jotted down a message on the corner of one of the notebook pages and carefully tore it off before gently tapping the top of Yoruichi's head. She cracked one eye open and I silently held out the scrap for her to take while nodding in the direction of Rurichiyo. The werecat gave it a quick read-over before taking it in her mouth and hopping to the floor to deliver the message.
Perks of having a shapeshifting assassin as a girlfriend. I stretched my back a little and readjusted my position in the seat before I tried to actually focus on the class. The bell later interrupting my discussion with Zangetsu about the subpar standards for the Shinigami Academy informed me that I had failed in that task. Well, there were still two more classes before lunch, and I was gradually becoming determined to maintain focus for at least one class before the day ended.
As I angrily shoved some rice into my mouth, Shiro and I were now seriously talking up strategies to pay attention to a single class, both of us at this point pissed off at how easily my mind sidetracked. Unohana was next to me, sharing the bento as we sat on the roof waiting for Rurichiyo's arrival. Thankfully, I had the foresight of asking Yuzu to make a big lunch for me, as I was feeding a rather satisfied Yoruichi bits of chicken. Keigo, Mizuiro, Tatsuki, Orihime, Chad, and Uryu were all with us, the currently powerless Quincy green in the face as Orihime attempted to get him to try some of her bento. It was salmon and seaweed on sourdough with mayo, vanilla extract, and red bean paste. Even Chad had scooted back a bit when she announced it. Unohana had stared in abstract horror, and firmly refused the healer's offer. She then asked if Orihime ever suffered stomach problems, which earned her confusion from the girl in question and an otherwise unanimous 'No'.
The door swung open, Kenryu being the first to step out, followed by Rurichiyo, then Enryu. The noble girl was the first one to speak.
"You!" She pointed directly at me. "Why is Unohana-taicho your entourage?! She should be in the Soul Society, at her division!" I stared straight back at her as I chewed on my mouthful of rice.
"I am exactly where I am supposed to be, Kasumiojo-san. I recently assigned myself as the personal nurse to Kurosaki Ichigo here." The blonde narrowed her eyes.
"Kurosaki Ichigo…Isn't he the ryoka that invaded the Seireitei?"
"He was, though I'm surprised you haven't heard the news beyond that." I swallowed the food.
"There's been some shit going down with her family recently, I doubt that anyone was dumb enough to think my shit was relevant for her situation." Both the noble and her bodyguards blinked in surprise.
"You-You are aware of the affairs that have been occurring with the Kasumioji clan?" Kenryu was dumbfounded. I nodded
"Assassins are coming to kill Rurichiyo, hired by one of the clan stewards 'cuz he wants to be clan head, but in reality he was hired by someone with a grudge against Yamamoto to create a conflict big enough to get him close enough to try to kill the Head Captain." I explained before taking a piece of chicken for myself.
"…I-" The girl stuttered. "…What?"
"Really, that's my best guess for why he did all this conspiracy crap. He managed to talk that steward guy into helping him make these soul-devouring weapons to give himself the juice to kill Yama, but beyond that I honestly have no clue why he did the whole assassination crap. It seems like a really obtuse action, since he didn't even do it to get Yama to lower his guard around him. He legitimately attacked him the first time they were alone in a room together." I shrugged. "Not that I expected better out of him, he's really fucking stupid. Very determined, he deserves a lot of credit for that, but really fucking stupid." Rurichiyo pressed her palms to her forehead.
"How do you even…" She breathed
"He's a time-traveler." Tatsuki answered for me. "Been through all this before."
"Well," Kenryu's head was steaming as he tried to wrap his head around it. "If you're here to save Mistress Rurichiyo, you could've nipped all this in the bud before it started!"
"Honestly forgot this happened." I elaborated. Enryu's face twitched. "I time traveled to stop something else entirely. Hell, when Teach announced that you guys had transferred here, I ended up spending most of math class trying to remember when this shit even happened the first time around. Turns out I somehow accidentally stalled this out by four days."
"Well, now that you've remembered, you can resolve this whole event before anything else happens!" Rurichiyo cheered. I fed Yoruichi another piece of chicken.
"Nah."
"WHY NOT?!" Rurichiyo and Kenryu screamed.
"There's some shit that happens that I want to happen, and if I stop it early, then it doesn't happen."
"MY LIFE IS AT STAKE!"
"You are in absolutely no trouble whatsoever as long as Yoruichi, Unohana or I know where you are. Yoruichi and I can get to you immediately wherever you are and Unohana can tell us if she isn't in a position to."
"As her bodyguard, that doesn't assure me in any way!" Kenryu defended. Yoruichi licked one of her paws.
"Ichigo has informed us that he could fight all the captains of the Gotei 13 and some out on top."
"I don't feel comfortable with you choosing to allow assassins to continue coming after me!"
"You guys have already moved into the house Kisuke gave you guys, right?" I asked.
"We have."
"You are my next-door neighbors. If you're that worried about it, just join us on our way back to my house, and you can watch as I set up some kido spells."
"I already placed protection spells." Kenryu seemed so proud.
"That's nice." I hummed, sipping at my juice. "I was trained by two Kido Corps Commanders." The man deflated before my eyes. The blonde puffed out her chest and firmly placed her hands on her hips.
"As the clan head of the Kasumioji clan, I, Rurichiyo Kasumioji, demand that you report this situation to Head Captain Yamamoto right this instant!" I took a bite out of a homemade cookie.
"Unlike in the original timeline, I haven't been instated as a Substitute Shinigami. Even if I wasn't infamous as someone who disregards nobility and politics, you have no authority over me." Impressively, that didn't deter her for a moment.
"Captain Unohana-"
"Under my authority, disregard any orders she gives you."
"Understood." That got her. All three of the musketeers stared in shock.
"What authority?!" Kenryu's voice shook with dread.
"Like I said, I haven't been instated as a Substitute Shinigami." I explained. "With the Central 46 still being replaced, Yamamoto currently ranks as the highest authority. He's declared me a War Preparation Leader, one of my powers being that I have absolute authority over anything I believe classifies as being relevant to preparing for war. The Kasumioji Conspiracy introduces a weapon that, if slightly reworked, could be mass-produced for use by unseated Shinigami to increase their power." My statement complete, I took another bite, closing my eyes in joy at the taste of Yuzu's cooking.
"…You're going to grant unseated Shinigami access to those soul-devouring weapons you talked about earlier?" Unohana questioned.
"Nope." Was my answer. "But Ossan said the idea lets me make orders revolving around it." Yoruichi immediately burst into laughter. I'm fairly certain Rurichiyo and Uryu both broke.
"Oh? You're working for the Gotei 13 now, Kurosaki-kun?"
"More like side-by-side." I gently corrected. Before we could continue speaking, the bell declaring lunch over rang. I cussed. "Keep forgetting about that goddamn bell." The last of the cookie was shoveled into my mouth, inducing a brief moment of nausea, but Zangetsu and I collectively forced that down with all the power we had, absolutely refusing to vomit any of Yuzu's cooking. "Alright, let's go, I'm gonna pay attention for one class, I swear on Kisuke's balls."
"What if you fail?" Uryu asked, already having finished cleaning up his meal.
"Then I guess I'm gonna have to castrate him." Once again, Yoruichi was rolling in laughter.
A deep scowl was on my face as the six of us made our way to Rurichiyo's temporary home, the noble and her guards several feet behind out of fear. Yoruichi had transformed once we were a fair distance away, which I had prepared for by shoving a set of her clothes in my gym bag.
"Aw, your pout is just adorable!" Yoruichi gushed.
"It's school!" I immediately blew up. "Hell, it's school I've had before, in the most literal sense! It should be the easiest thing to focus on, since last time I was always distracted by hollow hunting! There are so many reasons why I don't even need to glance out the window! This could be the year I beat Uryu!"
"He could defend that you had an unfair advantage if you do." Unohana grinned.
"And it would sound like he's nothing but a sore loser to everyone else!" I argued. "I'd love to sit back and watch as he tries to tell the school that I'm a time-traveler who has already taken all these classes before."
"Wouldn't it seem suspicious if you suddenly rose significantly in the rankings?" I scoffed.
"Yeah, if it weren't for that 'accident at the internship'. At most, people will wonder what happened to get me to change this much."
"Speaking of changes," Yoruichi began, "The last few times I visited your school, the girls seemed a lot less interested in you."
"I already went over this with Soi Fon, I'm not sleeping with people so you can brag."
"Oh come on, it'll be even better in the Living World!" She immediately maintained. "You've got ridiculous stamina, you've got some damn good experience under your belt, they won't know what hit them! And then I'll get to see them all turn green with envy at realizing you're taken by babes like Unohana and I!"
"I'm sorry, am I missing something?" The captain of the 4th tilted her head.
"Yoruichi has got that whole cat-like pride thing going on, which means she likes flaunting the fact that she's got the best stuff." I rolled my eyes. "She's determined to get me to sleep with people so that they understand how much better she's got." The First Kenpachi giggled into her hand, which ended up slipping into outright laughter.
"My, that is an interesting piece of information, I had pegged you as a more humble person, Yoruichi-chan." I gave her a deadpan look.
"Yoruichi, describe your ass."
"I'm certainly not called a goddess for no reason," She grinned, sashaying her hips, "I'm not aware of anyone who hasn't snuck a look when they thought I wasn't paying attention."
"It's happening right now." I agreed.
"W-would you look at that! We're at Mistress Rurichiyo's home!" Kenryu's face was a tomato as he jumped in front of us. Unohana laughter restarted. I shook my head in amusement at the guard's antics, but nonetheless spared a quick glance around to ensure that we had no spectators. Once that was certain, I tensed up my torso and forced outward.
"…Oh, wait," I muttered, "Kisuke hasn't made me that candy that lets me separate from my human body at will yet." Everyone around me blinked in surprise at my statement, and I took that opportunity to reach into Yoruichi's vest and pull out the Soul Glove before slamming the palm of it into my face. It was muscle memory at this point to catch my body. "I'm gonna drop my body off in my bed, by right back." I called as I backtracked to enter the front door of my house. Karin immediately looked up in curiosity, quickly freezing as still as a statue at the sight of her Shinigami brother carrying the limp form of her human brother.
"Hey Karin, just dropping off my body really quick then doing some Shinigami stuff next door. I shouldn't be too long." I greeted as I began on my way upstairs.
"…Okay." As much as she tried to hide it, I could hear the happiness in her voice at being kept in the loop. After arranging my body in a comfortable position on my bed, I strolled downstairs and over to the next house over, where Kenryu seemed utterly appalled by my actions.
"What?" My head tilted in question. "I can't use stronger kido in my body without harming it." He remained flabbergasted, but still managed to flinch at the reminder in ability level. I then turned to Unohana and Yoruichi. "So, I was thinking reiatsu, motion, and senkaimon-based detection spells extending up to a block radius, and a couple layers of physical, kido, and gas-focused barriers on the outer walls. Anything you think I'm missing?"
"If it were anyone else, I'd say plant a few traps, but maybe some counter kido? So they can't keep us from interfering." Yoruichi brought up.
"Don't need any, remember?" Her lip quirked up at the reminder.
"If my information on how noble assassins operate is still up to date, then we don't need anything else. Unohana?"
"Nothing comes to mind. It would seem Ichigo is indeed well-versed with kido." I let out a bark of laughter.
"I think it's pretty clear that I don't need it in a fight." Hearing no further comment, I stepped forward and placed my hands against the outer wall of the building as I prepared the first spell.
I was in the middle of happily being used as Yuzu's taste-tester when I felt the reiatsu and motion detection spells go off. I finished chewing the hamburg steak and got up as I swallowed.
"I don't taste as much of the minced garlic. Just a little bit more and it's perfect." She fist pumped and I pat her head. "One of the protection spells I put up just went off!" I called out to the rest of the house. Still in my spirit form, I grabbed Zangetsu where it was resting on the coffee table, Unohana and Yoruichi climbing down the stairs before falling into step behind me. Upon leaving the door, we hopped the fence and entered the backyard of the temporary home. Without bothering to knock, I slid open the glass door and walked inside, seeing the trio eating dinner, Enryu still wearing an apron.
"Assassins are here." I announced. With a shriek, the blonde darted under the table, Kenryu choked on his curry, and Enryu stepped out from the table, dramatically ripping off the apron and grabbing his zanpakuto from the counter behind him.
"Wh-" The dark haired guard coughed once again. "What direction?"
"Should be entering the backyard before the minute's up." I heard an explosion of wood behind me. "Could've sworn they sent better quality assassins." I muttered before turning around, finding a group of four standing at the ready just beyond the mess that the fence had been reduced to. My eyes zeroed in on the pink hair and scarred face of the only one I was interested in, completely disregarding the other three. In his right hand was a katana with a mirror attached to the hilt, something I had been eager to see again.
"I could care less about the other three, Pink Hair is mine." I informed Unohana and Yoruichi before striding forward, a grin growing on my face. "Oi, Mirror Blade Guy! If you wanna kill Rurichiyo, you're gonna have to kill me first!" He narrowed his eyes, and gestured with his left hand for the rest of the assassins to move forward. The one with the scythe reached me first. He shouted in shock when his blade sparked against my skin, then in pain when I backhanded him across the backyard. The big guy with the spear lifted it, the blade glowing with energy. I held out my hand and formed a cero, the man immediately abandoning his tactic and diving to the side. The last guy I didn't even properly look at before he dissolved into mist. Mirror Blade Guy adjusted his stance, clearly understanding that he was under equipped as he was.
"Saiga!" He called, the flash of the mirror entering my eyes. I sorta stuttered a little bit as I continued to walk forward. His eyes immediately widened. "Who are you?"
"Don't worry about it." That successfully pissed him off. He raised his blade and charged at me, only to grow visibly shocked when I parried it with my hands and punched him in the gut. His feet lifted off the ground, and I grabbed the back of his shirt to keep him in place as I punched twice more before I threw him a few feet away. "So I heard those bakkoto things you got get stronger when you shove reiatsu into them. You might wanna start doing that." The look in his eye showed that he really wanted to refuse out of pride, but he understood that there was no way in hell he was winning without a power up or fifteen. His body glowed with reiatsu as the assassin silently did as requested. He was probably thinking something along the lines of me being stupid or arrogant because I was letting him strengthen his weapon. Yoruichi taught me that a good assassin doesn't comment on an easy kill, they do the deed and laugh it off after. Mirror Blade Guy was not a good assassin.
Oh, hell yeah, he went straight into that armor form. Aw, I take that back, he tried to hit me with the moonflash again.
"Dude." I stared at him blankly. "That paralysis thing ain't gonna work on me." How did he activate the illusion, again?
'Broke the mirror.'
'Thanks Shiro.'
'Think ya can summon me when we're inside?'
'Don't know why it would be a problem.'
'Sweet.' I refocused to find Mirror Blade Guy glaring at me something fierce.
"I'm sorry, were you talking?" His response was an incoherent yell as he charged again, and I easily stepped to his right and crashed the back of my hand against the glass. It shattered instantly, the shards glistening in the light as they surrounded me.
"You fool!" I could hear the smirk in his voice, and I instantly tuned him out as I slipped my hands into my pockets. The dome formed around me, not an ounce of care to be found between my zanpakuto and I. Shiro sighed in wistfulness.
'It'll be nice seein' Mom again.' He commented. 'It was us lettin' loose our reiatsu that blew the dome, right? We can just chill in here with her for a bit?'
'Indeed.' Ossan's gentle smile was audible. 'With Yoruichi and Unohana more than capable of handling the assassins, and the ability to overcome the lies of this illusion, we should be able to enjoy some time with Mother.' The dome was complete, sealing me inside its walls as it darkened to a midnight void to generate the illusion. I patiently waited as the projection formed around me, beginning from the edges of the background and moving inward. I could see the buildings, all a monotonous white with tiled roofs. The sky hidden by dark clouds reminiscent of the day Mom died. The ugly smell of blood once was the only thing I could recall from that fateful day. The uncomfortable chill from the rain that sank into my bones through the raincoat I had been wearing. The wave of ice that just slammed into me from behind?!
My body had been pushed forward a couple feet from the force, though that was mostly in part because I hadn't been expecting any sort of attack. I instinctively pulled on my hollow strength and shattered the ice swiftly, turning around with my hands snapping to Zangetsu's handles to find out what in the hell just happened. However, the instant my eyes caught the source, I found myself frozen for an entirely different reason.
"No…"
Kenyru stared in shock at the sight of Ichigo being swallowed by the mirror dome. A chill went down his spine at the implication of who was undoubtedly one of their most powerful and valuable fighters being so easily captured within the ability of their enemies.
"What power! Unohana-taicho, Shihoin-sama, we must be careful! These bakkoto must be enormously powerful if Kurosaki-san was affected by it!" To his further surprise, both seemed nonchalant.
"Nah," The ex-captain waved off, "He let it happen. I even spotted him shoving his hands in his pockets, he ain't worrying about anything right now."
"If Ichigo deemed this event anywhere near noteworthy, he'd have informed us." The medic supported. "The very fact that he hadn't killed these assassins on sight tells me that these bakkoto are nothing of significance."
"You're certain?" He worried nonetheless. "I trust in your faith in him, but what if he is simply being overly relaxed?" Yoruichi sent a deadpan look his way with such power that the bodyguard curled in on himself.
"He was actually smacking some of these guys away with his bare hands. He was winning without even drawing his sword. It's not complacency."
"If you're positive…" He muttered as he and Enryu got into ready stances across from the assassin with the scarf surrounded by mist. Unohana was standing across the pink skinned assassin with the scythe, and Yoruichi was dodging the waves of earth the spear-wielding assassin sent out with ease.
Kenryu and Enryu were barely keeping up with their opponent, who clearly was a master at their craft. The scarved man used his mist ability to weave around their sword slashes with ease, and they each were bleeding from several gashes the man's blade had carved into them. The two were currently back to back within the cloud, a strategy they had come up with after being struck several times each. Unfortunately, with no way of knowing where the assassin was, neither were even able to release their zanpakuto, as Kenryu's sword couldn't be used properly if he couldn't be sure his attack would land. In addition, Enryu's voice would easily be heard in the mist that must be muffling the sounds of combat around them, which meant he couldn't call out his shikai. Kenryu prayed that Unohana and Yoruichi were fairing better than they.
The werecat was a bit disappointed, which was sad, because her standards for noble assassins was already low. The guy was grunting loudly with each frustratingly telegraphed swing, which, depressingly, she did expect. But what made him miss the already low bar was that he realized she was faster than him and decided to just swing randomly. She had completely stood still for a few seconds twice. The guy couldn't even hit a stationary target. Her mind couldn't help but wander to the fact that she smelled some very good hamburg steak being cooked in the Kurosaki household.
The First Kenpachi was wondering when her opponent was going to die. She had zero interest in dressing her Minazuki in the blood of such a pathetic fighter, and had luckily remembered that the Bakkoto the assassins wielded devoured their souls. She had already successfully gotten him to munch on his blade several times, and every time made her desire to swap opponents grow, as it was simply revolting. He continued to make crass remarks about her, and she couldn't help but sigh, because they weren't even good. The assassin had reached the point of repeating his comments woefully quickly, and she was quickly reaching the point of finding out whether or not he could be forced to eat his scythe the next time he repeated what he was going to do to her skull after he killed her.
All sound on the battlefield was suddenly drowned out by a single voice. Especially to those that were more familiar with it, the noise was a shock to the system. It was a scream of seething hatred, a roar of deep-seated agony, a call for blood to be shed. And to the two unlucky individuals who understood the full context of it, it was cause for worry and fear.
"TEAR THE HEAVENS ASUNDER, TENSA ZANGETSU!"
And then all Hell broke loose.
I have returned! I'm still homeless, actually, at the time of posting this chapter, but I managed to get a second job. I'm gonna work both for a bit so I can get my living situation settled, then quit my first job. I have the next chapter written out already, I will post it in a week. I have no idea if I'm deviating from my original plan, but what I now have in mind seems to flow pretty naturally, so I have no intentions of changing it.
Next Chapter: Seeing Red