Author's Note:- Thank you to everyone who reviewed the Prologue for this story. I'm glad you saw the images. Here is Part 1 of the story proper. I am not saying this is how it would have happened but wouldn't it have been nice if this is how it did?. mcj
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FENCES & FAMILIES
STORY ONE - PART ONE - A FENCE CREATES A FAMILY
Picture a Fence - "An upright structure enclosing an area of ground"
then
Picture a Family - "A close alliance"
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Josephine Brown leaned on the old dilapidated fence and took a moment to gaze at the horizon. She idly twirled her long brown ponytail around her index finger, carefully surveying the miles of dry farming land stretching on all four sides of the farmhouse.
The horizon was hazy, evidence of the relentless drought which gripped the State in its vice-like grasp.
Josephine was torn between wishing the rain would fall soon and appreciating the fact that today was yet another beautiful, hot day in Kansas. The sky was blue, the air was still and the company … well as far as Josephine Alice Brown was concerned, the company she was keeping right now was absolutely perfect.
Her blue eyes sparkled impishly in the sunlight as they came to rest on the tall, well-developed frame of Grant Daniel Tracy.
Josie felt a small sigh of bliss shudder through her body. She could look at his handsome young face for hours.
But despite enjoying the "scenery", she was fast becoming disgruntled. He hadn't looked up from fixing that blasted fence for nearly half an hour. Josephine shifted her weight and let out an exasperated sigh.
How could anyone be so totally engrossed in a stupid broken down old fence?
"Come on handsome... "she began. "…you still haven't told me where you've been hiding yourself these past three weeks. I haven't seen you anywhere; not even at the market."
She leaned forward and lowered her voice. "I was startin' to worry you'd fallen off the face of the earth or somethin'."
When Grant didn't look up and didn't reply she added pointedly.
"You know how discontent I get when you don't call by Grant."
Grant Tracy recognised the tone in her voice and briefly lifted his head from his work.
"I'm sorry Josie." he shrugged. "I've just been kinda busy round here that's all. "
Josephine, happy to finally have his attention, then winked at him and asked suggestively.
"Too busy even to be kissin' me handsome?"
Grant reddened and looked back at the fence.
"Aww Josie." he said feeling totally embarrassed. "You're givin' a man ideas saying things like that."
Josie plonked herself down on the grass next to him.
"Ideas?" she asked with avid interest. "What sorts of ideas you got Grant?"
Grant Tracy averted his eyes. Even after three years of dating he still felt self-conscious about the feelings of desire which burned inside him whenever he was anywhere near Josephine Brown.
"Come on handsome." she insisted looking at him with her big blue eyes. "I want you to tell me."
He shook his head.
"Not talkin' huh?" she grinned and poked him playfully in the ribs. "Must be mighty shameful thoughts you're havin then'."
Grant's face reddened further.
"Never you mind what I'm thinkin' Miss Brown." he managed to mumble.
He felt her arms encircle his neck and before he knew it her lips were pressed against his cheek.
"I know what you were thinkin'" she admonished him. "And I swear you're gonna have to go to church twice this Sunday for thinkin' it!"
"I can't help thinkin' the things I do when you're so damned pretty Josie." he admitted. "Especially when you come over here lookin' like that."
It was Josephine's turn to blush then as Grant Tracy ran his dark blue eyes over her tight denim cut-offs and close-fitting shirt.
"Don't say things like that Grant" she berated him.
Grant immediately looked away.
"Sorry Josie." he apologised in a quiet voice.
An awkward silence fell between them. Josie suddenly reached forward and jammed his old tattered hat down over his ears.
"Oh Grant!" she teased. "You're so damned serious all the time. You oughtta know I like it when you say I'm pretty."
She began to giggle as he struggled to remove the hat and then broke into fits of laughter when he finally managed to get it off.
"You should see what you look like!" she shrieked in amusement referring to his dishevelled mop of dark brown hair. "I can't believe I was dumb enough to call you handsome."
Grant's last piece of self- restraint melted and he smiled too. He simply couldn't resist her.
He put down his hammer and motioned her into his arms. She immediately nestled close to him and his grip tightened around her. He closed his eyes as he held her and told himself that no matter what her Father had said to him out the front of that sandstone fence three weeks ago, he would never stop loving the heart and soul of Josephine Brown.
"I've really been missin' you Josie." he murmured, lightly kissing the top of her head.
She looked up into his eyes with adoration. She was totally smitten with this handsome young Farmer.
"I've been missin' you too." she replied.
He reached forward to brush away a stray lock of hair from her forehead.
"I meant what I said about you before you know. "he said tucking the hair behind her left ear. "You're the prettiest girl in the whole of Kansas."
"Only Kansas?" she pouted dropping her lip and feigning to be hurt.
He grinned and tweaked her nose. "Well I can't be sure of nothin' else Josephine." he joked. "I haven't ever been out of Kansas to find out."
She frowned and gave him a light-hearted slap.
"You just watch yourself buster." she warned. "I'm not about to let you go and start lookin' either!"
He pulled her even closer to him and felt the warmth of her body radiate against his.
"Well that certainly suits me." he said happily squeezing her tight and taking in every facet of her beautiful young face.
"Me too." she breathed.
Slowly their lips came to meet and the two of them shared a long and loving kiss.
After it ended they continued to stare into each others eyes.
"I sure do love you Grant Tracy." she whispered.
Grant sighed and released his grip on her. He wanted to say he loved her in return but he knew he wasn't ever going to be allowed to love her. Not in the way he wanted to.
He looked in the direction of the rickety old fence and tried not to think about the images of sandstone which were always uppermost in his mind.
"Josephine Brown, I swear I gotta stop all this mush right now." he said firmly in an attempt to change the subject. "You're distracting me from my work."
She immediately broke into a broad grin and leaned back on the fence.
"Am I?" she winked. "Would you like me to go home then?"
Grant Tracy looked at Josephine Brown.
"No Josie." he said honestly and with true sadness in his deep young voice. "If I had my way I'd never let you go home."
Another look of mischief stole over her features.
"Oh?" she asked. "You intending to kidnap me then handsome?"
"There you go putting ideas in a man's head again." he replied in a futile attempt to forget his unhappy thoughts.
"So where would you hide me?" she asked playfully. "Out in the barn or tied up nice and tight underneath your bed in the farmhouse?"
"Under the bed's as good a place as any." he joked. "Then when I was feelin' the need I could drag you out and have my way with you."
She looked in the direction of the farmhouse.
"Now you're really asking for trouble." she giggled. "Imagine what your Daddy would say if he caught you doin' something like that."
Now it was Grant's turn to wink.
"Nah. Daddy's used to it!" he grinned. "I got a different girl under there every night of the week."
He laughed as she frowned, folded her arms and turned away in a huff.
"That's not the least bit funny Grant." she sulked.
She stood defiantly with her back to him waiting for him to apologise.
"Now who's being so damned serious all the time huh?" he teased, playfully pulling at her ponytail.
However, stubborn as ever, Josephine Brown refused to budge until she got an apology.
"Oh come on Josie! Turn around! You know as well as I do there's never been anyone 'cept you." he said.
She swung back around and looked him up and down.
"Better not be." she warned. "No-one else is allowed under that bed of yours Grant Tracy, you got that?"
Grant raised his eyebrows.
"Oh I got it all right Josephine but I don't think your Daddy would be too happy about the idea."
Her face took on a determined look.
"I don't give a damn what my Daddy thinks. If I decide I want to be tied up under your bed then I will be and nothin' he could say or do about it would make me change my mind."
Grant shook his head at her. He loved her spirit and forthright attitude to life. He often wished he could be the same but he knew that was never going to happen. He was a Tracy son and he knew very well Tracy sons were expected to keep a level head.
"Well I sure as heck don't want to upset your Daddy Josephine so I guess I'll just have to settle for you going home from here for now." he replied, reaching out and moving the rickety fence to and fro. "Besides I really gotta get back to fixin' this fence if you don't mind. Daddy's told me he wants it done by nightfall."
Josephine shrugged her shoulders and pulled her car keys out of her pocket.
"OK then. Guess I should be heading back into town anyway. I got things to do myself."
She leaned forward and kissed his cheek.
"I'll see you later handsome."
"Bye Josie. "he replied returning the affection. "Be seein' you 'round."
Her impish voice floated back to him as she made her way to her car.
"Don't you leave it too long this time Farmer Tracy else I'll be coming back here and doin' more than just hiding myself under your bed."
Grant laughed and leaned on the fence waving as she drove away.
Once she had gone he heaved a heavy sigh before sitting back down on the hay bale next to the fence to continue his work.
The midday sun was savage and it wasn't long before the familiar beads of sweat began to dot his sun-tanned forehead. He looked about for his hat. His face broadened into a wide grin as he thought about Josephine pulling the hat over his eyes and teasing him about his hair. Almost as quickly his smile faded. He wished he could afford a decent haircut.
"Miss Josephine gone home then?" came a deep voice from behind him.
Grant Tracy nodded as he carefully aligned the next picket on the fence.
"Yep." he replied and began to hammer.
"What with all your carrying on out here I was startin' to think you didn't intend to finish the fence today."
"It'll be done Daddy." Grant muttered and banged the nail in harder. "You oughtta know that."
The minutes ticked on and the length of the fence began to rattle with the force of his blows.
"Ain't no sense takin' all that aggravation out on the fence son."
"Haven't got any aggravation." Grant lied leaning forward to pick up another picket. He ran his eye over the rotted wood and frowned before throwing it forcefully into the dusty, dry earth.
"Can't we use that no more?"
"Nope. Nail'll split it in half. It's only good for the fire now."
Grant continued his work in silence.
"Must be one mighty tough decision you're tryin' to make in your head right now." observed the deep voice.
"Yep." was the only reply.
"You needin' some advice with makin' it son?"
At the sound his Father's words, the hammering stopped.
"Maybe." he admitted.
A large work ravaged hand reached out and squeezed his shoulder.
"Grant, ain't no use burnin' up inside over Miss Josephine if her Daddy says you can't have her."
Grant lifted his eyes to meet the concerned features of his Father.
"I know that Daddy."
"Well the way I figure it, if you can't have her, there's no decision for you to make. You just gotta forget about her and get on with things."
Daniel Tracy watched as his only son acknowledged his words with a miserable nod of his head. His hand gripped Grant's shoulder tighter.
"Son, this situation ain't no different to the way things were when your momma died. I was hurtin' real bad back then but it didn't matter to no-one 'cept me. You know I just had to forget about losin' her and move on. Guess it's your turn now."
Grant turned back to the fence and looked down at the hammer in his hand.
"Dad …I can't move on 'till I break the news to Josephine."
"Well when are you plannin' on doin' that?"
Grant shrugged his shoulders.
"I dunno Daddy."
The quiet insistent voice continued.
"Shouldda done it just now instead of leadin' her on like that."
Grant frowned and looked annoyed.
"Daddy this ain't an easy thing for me to do after courtin' Josephine for nearly three years."
"Son listen to me. You gotta deal with this now. "Daniel Tracy stressed, "I know it's upsettin' for you but like I said before, there ain't no use pursuing things if there's no future to it."
Grant began to hammer in another board.
"There's no damned future for anything 'round here." he murmured unhappily. "Drought's gettin' worse. Farm's losin' more by the week."
Daniel Tracy sighed. Grant had been unsettled ever since he got the notion in his head that he wanted to marry Josephine Brown. The night Walter Brown had rejected him had changed the boy completely. Now he was disgruntled about everything.
"Farm's no worse off than in other years son." he said firmly.
Grant fixed his eyes on him.
"Daddy... it ain't no better either." he replied with an uncustomary directness. "The way I figure it … "
He stopped as he looked at the old weathered face. He simply didn't have it in him to continue. He loved his Father too much say as far as he was concerned the farm was past it now and they needed to cut their losses, settle their debts and move on to something else.
However Daniel Tracy sensed what his son wanted to say and spoke in earnest.
"Son, the Tracy family were farming this land when my Great-Granddaddy was a youngster. We were a mighty prosperous family back then. The richest in the District in fact."
Grant picked up the next board and lined it up with the others.
"Yeah well Mr. Brown would have let me marry Josephine if things were still the same Daddy." he scowled as he banged in the nails. "But things aren't. This family's had no money in the whole of my twenty-four years of living and there ain't no point remembering the past and hopin' it's gonna come back."
The fence began to shake once more under the violent impact of his hammer.
Daniel Tracy's voice sharpened.
"Grant!" he snapped. "I told you hammering that fence like a man possessed ain't gonna change things."
Grant threw down the hammer and stood up abruptly.
"Excuse me Sir but I got too much aggression building up inside me to be working on this God-damned fence. I swear I'll knock it down the way I'm feelin' at the moment."
Daniel frowned.
"Son … you gotta stop blamin' the farm for all this and just get this yearning for Miss Josephine outta your system."
"Leave it alone Daddy." he flashed, pushing past his Father. "I know what I gotta do about Josephine all right?"
Daniel Tracy grasped his son's arm as he pushed past him. He looked him squarely in the eye.
"Grant this farm'll be yours soon and before you know it, you'll be lookin' at passin' it on to your own boy. Prosperity will come back to the Tracy family, but you gotta be patient in the meantime."
Grant tore himself away from his Father.
"Daddy for once in your life open your eyes and see things for what they are. There ain't ever gonna be prosperity in this family while we're shackled to this farm. " he retorted as he stormed away in the direction of the back field.
He suddenly stopped and turned back to look at his bewildered Father.
"And what's more Daddy…" he said unhappily. "Without Mr. Brown's blessing on me and Josephine, you needn't be thinking there's gonna be another Tracy son born into this world either."
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Walter Brown sat at the head of the antique dining table, gripping the stem of his expensive red wine glass and shaking his head. It was going to erupt any minute amongst his daughters and he knew it. All three of them had been aggravating each other from the moment they sat down at the dinner table and it was getting to the stage when one of them was going to explode.
Looking at Josephine's face, Walter knew without a doubt it was going to be her.
It had all started rather innocently with what he thought was going to be a pleasant conversation over dinner about how Josephine intended to spend her twenty-second birthday.
Arabella started things off on the wrong foot. She giggled and said she knew very well how Josephine would want to spend her birthday.
"And how's that since you seem to know so much?" Josephine asked imperiously.
"Smoochin' in the arms of that big, handsome Farmer boy." Arabella replied winking across the table at Victoria.
Josephine had simply reddened and eyed her in silence. Arabella watched the colour invade Josephine's face and neck with an almost morbid delight.
"I'm right aren't I Josie?" she exclaimed. "I can see right through you!"
"Yeah well it ain't too hard for me to see through you either." Josephine flashed. "There's nothin' in your head to see through."
Arabella's face fell and she continued to eat in silence.
Walter smiled.
Josephine had a knack of putting people in their place.
Then of course the worldly Victoria needed to have her say.
"I don't know why you're still seeing him Josie." she sniffed. "He's got absolutely nothing."
Walter cringed when those words left his second daughter's mouth. It would be on between the two of them now. His two elder daughters were only fifteen months apart and not a day went by when they didn't argue about something. Josephine's forthright and direct ways sometimes annoyed Victoria but Victoria's worldly aspirations really aggravated Josephine.
"How the hell would you know what Grant has and hasn't got?" Josephine snapped.
Victoria rolled her eyes and picked up her wine glass. "Josie he's a Farmer isn't he?"
"So what if he's a Farmer?" Josephine replied in a testy voice. "Doesn't mean he's broke."
Victoria's voice became smug. "Doesn't it Josie?"
The two girls eyed each other distastefully.
"Why don't you ask Daddy how much money he has if you don't believe me." Victoria scoffed. "He'll tell you he hasn't got a dime."
Josephine's eyes riveted in her Father's direction.
Walter Brown found himself reddening. He didn't want to get drawn into any argument involving his daughters, least of all the fiery Josephine.
"Well Daddy?" Josephine glared.
"It's no-one's business but mine how much money my clients have or haven't got." he thundered eyeing them both up and down.
That had seemed to settle them down for a while but as usual the peace and quiet didn't last. Walter shook his head with frustration as Arabella started them all off again.
"So what's Grant givin' you for your birthday Josie?" she asked her blue eyes wide with excitement.
Before Josephine could reply Victoria butted in.
"More than likely the same as she got from him last year." she said. "Nothin'."
Josephine's dark blue eyes clouded and Walter Brown sensed the quarrel was imminent.
"You shut your goddamn mouth Victoria." she spat.
Victoria shrugged her shoulders and looked at her arrogantly. "Wanna bet me I'm wrong Josie?"
Josephine slammed down her cutlery on the table. "I said shut your mouth!"
"Girls!' Walter Brown interjected. "That's enough from both of you!"
The meal continued in silence. After a few moments Arabella continued, completely oblivious to the altercation that was about to erupt between her two sisters.
"He might give you an engagement ring hey Josie?" she enthused. "You've been seeing him for over three years now."
Victoria burst into laughter.
"Engagement ring?" she mocked opening her eyes wide. "Bella I think Josephine's got it right about you for once."
Arabella frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Victoria looked her straight in the face. "It means there ain't nothin' in your head if you believe Grant Tracy'd ever have the money to buy Josie an engagement ring."
Arabella looked at Josephine whose hands now gripped the edge of the dining table in a silent fury. She swallowed nervously. Josephine was about to explode. She quickly admonished Victoria.
"There ain't nothin' in your head either 'cept dollar signs." she retorted.
"You sure got that right little sister." Josephine barked as she stared angrily across the table. "She doesn't care about anything else."
Then the argument really started. It climaxed with Victoria's ultimate question.
"All right then Josie. You answer me this truthfully as God is your witness. Who would you rather wake up next to in the mornings? A Farmer with nothin'? Or a man with substance?"
… and ended with Josephine's ultimate answer.
"Far as I'm concerned the one who had the substance I was wantin' before I went to sleep beside him." Josephine replied candidly.
Victoria and Arabella looked at each other in shock. Neither of them could believe Josephine had just said that right in front of their Father.
Even Walter Brown had been stunned.
Josephine instantly realised what she had said. Speaking her mind had always been her biggest failing. She turned to her Father.
"I'm sorry Daddy." she murmured. "I only meant money means nothing to me."
To Walter Brown's mind came the night in front of the sandstone fence when Grant Tracy had asked if he had any objections to him marrying Josephine. He had objected because the boy had no money. Now here was Josephine saying she didn't care if he had money or not. He began to feel uneasy.
"Josephine I'd like you to take a walk with me after supper." he finally said. "Your sisters can tidy up in here."
Josephine looked at her Father with a worried face. "Daddy ... I said I was sorry."
"Yes I know you did but what you just said in front of your sisters is totally unacceptable." he replied.
"Yeah and we get all the chores dumped on us as well!" Victoria complained.
"I fixed the supper you've been scoffing down like there's no tomorrow!" Josephine snapped. "I'm not dumping on you or anyone. And just so you know I did mean what I said Victoria. The men you date wouldn't even know what to do."
"What Josie... and Grant does?" Victoria shot back.
"Stop that gutter-type talk at once! " Walter snapped. "I won't stand for it!"
Silence was absolute.
"I'll just be glad when your Momma gets back from New York tomorrow." he bristled glaring from one daughter to the other. "She might be able to get you three girls to stop all your damned arguing and carrying on all the time."
He looked over at Josephine. "You ready to go then young lady?"
Josephine swallowed and rose from the table.
"I'll get my coat Daddy."
Walter looked at his eldest daughter as she left the room. There was no doubt she was an attractive young woman and he guessed he couldn't blame young Grant Tracy for falling in love with her.
He rose from the table too.
"I'll be back in a little while." he said gruffly to his two younger daughters. "Make sure all of this is tidied up when I get back with your sister all right?"
Arabella and Victoria nodded their heads and as he left the room Arabella giggled.
"I know you don't agree Victoria but I think Josie's right. A man with physical substance in the bedroom is much more interestin' than one with a great big bank account."
Walter shook his head again and pretended not to hear her. Why couldn't he have had three sons instead! Life would be much less complicated right now.
He met Josephine at the door and together they left the house and walked out into the night.
Josephine looked about with interest and pointed at the house across the street.
"Look Daddy. Mr. Marshall's puttin' up a fence like ours too." she said.
"Mmmm..." Walter mused. "Makes four in the street now."
Josephine frowned. "Whole neighbourhood's startin' to look like Fort Knox if you ask me." she said with her usual directness. "Damn ugly."
"Sandstone is not ugly Josephine. It's expensive and durable." he pointed out. "And it's a status symbol in these parts."
"Don't care what sort of status symbol it is Daddy." she shrugged. "It's damn ugly.
There she was again. Speaking her mind regardless of whether it was appreciated or not.
Walter cleared his throat. It was time he sorted this feisty young lady out.
"Josephine ... I think it's time you and me talked about a couple of things."
Josephine looked nervous.
"Daddy if it's about what I said before, I'm sorry it came outta my mouth but Victoria was really aggravating me with all her carrying on over money."
Walter put his arm around her and guided her across the street.
"Josephine. Money is important to a degree." he said. "I know Victoria takes it to the extreme but in a lot of ways she's right."
Josephine frowned.
"How do you figure that Daddy?" she asked.
Walter carefully picked his words.
"Well without a reasonable income there's not much food for the table for one thing. And it goes without saying you have totally deny yourself luxuries like new clothing and vacations."
Her dark blue eyes searched his.
"Yes but Daddy if you were truly happy it wouldn't matter to you would it?"
"Josephine you've never known what's it's like to go without anything so it's easy for you to say that. Now you look at me and tell me the honest truth. Would you be happy if you couldn't have a new dress or something nice for yourself whenever you wanted it?"
Josephine was silent for a few minutes.
"No Daddy." she replied. "I guess not."
He breathed a sigh of relief. At least he had been right about her. Josephine was her Mother's daughter through and through and like Alice, she made the most of her affluent lifestyle in every possible way.
"I thought you'd say that. "he said. "… which brings me to the next issue I want to discuss with you."
Josephine winced as her Father's eyebrows knitted together.
"Your mouth young lady." he said sternly.
Josephine lowered her head. "Yes Sir."
"Josie, I'm telling you for the last time that you've got to learn to hold your tongue when things don't suit you." Walter directed. "If you don't you're going to get yourself in a lot of trouble before much longer."
"I know Daddy." she sighed. "That's what Grant says to me too."
"Well if Grant needs to say something to you as well Josephine, do you think somehow there might be a problem?"
Josephine didn't reply. Walter decided to seize the opportunity to bring the matter up.
"And while we're on the subject of Grant…" he began.
Josephine's eyes became guarded.
"What about Grant Daddy?" she asked.
"Well … you've been seeing him for a good while now."
"Like 'Bella said over supper, the two of us have been together close on three years now."
Walter grew contemplative. Josephine noticed it immediately.
"You like him don't you Daddy?" she asked in a worried voice.
"Yes of course I like him Josie. He's a very nice boy." Walter said warily.
This cautious approach was becoming all too much for Walter Brown. He needed to know the proper situation between his eldest daughter and young Grant Tracy and if he didn't ask her now he was never going to find out.
He took a deep breath and spoke.
"Josephine I probably have no right to ask you this because you are of age to do as you please." he said. "But I'm going to ask you anyway for my own sake."
"What Daddy?" she asked inquisitively.
"Josie … honey … errr…just how deeply are you and Grant errr... involved?" he asked.
Josephine stopped walking and looked her Father straight in the eye.
"Are you asking me if we've been to bed together Daddy? If you are , I don't mind telling you. Contrary to what Victoria thinks no we haven't." she replied forthrightly.
Walter flushed with embarrassment. This daughter of his was truly a law unto herself. He decided right there and then it was pointless talking to her about controlling what she said because she was going to say what she thought when she thought it no matter what.
"Anything else you would like to know about Grant and me Daddy?" she asked with her eyes still firmly on his. "I got no secrets from you."
"I... err ... um.... no …" Walter stammered. "But while I think of it, don't forget to let him know he's welcome over at the house tomorrow night for your birthday."
Josephine shook her head.
"No can do Daddy. He's makin' me Dinner at the farmhouse tomorrow night. He said needs to talk to me about somethin'. Hope that's all right with you and momma."
Walter Brown's stomach began to churn.
"Daddy?" she said.
He gave her a fleeting smile and tried to hide the worry he felt in his heart.
"That's fine honey." he replied. "Err…any idea what he wants to talk to you about?" he asked.
She shook her head.
"No Sir but he said it's important."
She giggled.
"Hey Daddy maybe Arabella might be right about things after all huh?"
"Right about what?"
She winked at him.
"The engagement ring."
She held out her left hand in front of her and looked at her bare finger.
"Might come home the future Mrs. Grant Tracy tomorrow night." she speculated. "What would you think about that Daddy?"
Walter Brown tried to tell himself he wasn't about to lose the contents of his stomach.
"I think we should go back in the house that's what I think." was all he could manage to say.
"Josephine Alice Tracy." Josephine breathed dreamily as she danced around underneath the stars. "It sounds absolutely perfect."
The sandstone fence appeared in front of them. They were home. Josephine stopped and looked up at it, looked across the street and shook her head at her Father.
"Daddy I know you think it's grand and all but these fences are real damn ugly."
She paused and then added hastily. "That is if you want my opinion on the matter Sir."
"Actually Josie I don't want your opinion." he replied and continued to walk. "I like the sandstone fence very much and so does your mother."
"It surrounds the place like a fortress and makes a person feel like they ain't welcome here." she mumbled so her Father didn't hear her. "That's what Grant says anyway."
Walter stopped and called her away from the fence. "Josephine. You comin' inside or not?"
Josephine's thoughts were now with Grant Tracy.
"Give me Grant's old picket fence any day Daddy. "she said loudly as she walked up the drive. "Might not be big and expensive like ours but at least it makes the farmhouse look like home."
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
The old hurricane lamp flickered in the darkness and the only sound to be heard in the barn was a badly suppressed giggle. The loft was musty and the draught coming from between the floorboards was cool but she didn't care at all as she lay amongst the hay bales cradled in Grant Tracy's arms.
Despite the dimness Josephine Brown gazed up dotingly at the features of the handsome young Farmer.
"You kiss me like that one more time Grant Tracy and I swear I'll forget myself." she breathed.
Grant raised his eyebrows.
"That so? I'm startin' to like the sound of that." he murmured and leaned over her again. She lifted both arms over his head and eased them down around his neck. She drew his face to hers. Their lips met once more in the half-light of the lamp. They kissed each other with a growing passion.
Slowly their lips parted and Grant's face remained close to hers. He fixed his dark blue eyes on her and ran his hands through her loose brown hair and down the side of her face.
"You're so pretty Josephine." he whispered as his fingers paused momentarily on her lips.
"Am I?" she replied casually, lightly running her hand down the front of his shirt and toying with the buttons. "Or are you just sayin' that so I'll let you take advantage of me?"
She watched as his face fell and he loosened his grip on her.
"Josie you know I wouldn't do that." he said in a solemn voice. "I've told you lots of times how much I respect you."
She playfully undid his top button.
"Shame about that." she teased. "I was kind of hoping some big strong Farmer might like to finally have the opportunity."
Grant Tracy looked at her beautiful features. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. Josephine Brown was finally offering him the opportunity to do what he had wanted to do for nearly three years. The chance to take her as his own.
"Josie" he whispered. "Are you serious?"
Josephine nodded. She was completely in love with him and was finally comfortable that he felt the same way about her.
"Yes I am." she replied.
Grant sat up almost knocking the lamp off the hay bale. He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand and looked around awkwardly.
"Gee Josie…I…I dunno about this." he stammered. "You told me you that losin' your innocence was somethin' you didn't wanna do until your wedding night."
Josephine sat up too.
"Well that's true for most part Grant… but I've been thinkin' about it and I don't see the sense in waitin' any longer since you and me are gonna get married one day any way."
She ran her hands across his massive shoulders. The thought of his strong physique naked in her arms was setting her on fire.
"Grant, it's my birthday..." she said drawing him into another long and passionate kiss.
Grant could feel himself weakening. He had dreamed of this moment for so long and had given up all hope of ever having it. Now here she was lying in his arms, never looking more beautiful and telling him that he could.
He broke away and shook his head. Having one last evening together in the barn before he ended things was one thing, making love to her and then saying he didn't want to see her anymore was another.
"No Josie." he said. "You don't deserve to lose your innocence in a dirty, broken down old place like this. It should be special moment in a proper marriage bed just like you've been saying to me these past three years."
Josephine looked at his face as the flame danced across it. At the moment she didn't care where she was when it happened, as long as it was with him.
"Grant …" she whispered. "It don't matter to me no more."
It was Grant's turn to look at her in the shadows. Tonight was turning out to be the most complicated and gut wrenching experience he'd ever had. And now this…
Four weeks ago he had finally plucked up the courage to go out onto the porch and speak with his Father. His Father spent every evening sitting out on the porch and looking over the farm. Daniel Tracy had done that for as long as Grant could remember and up until she passed on just over five years ago, his mother had always sat there too. Now he sat alone and in silence.
"Daddy." he said nervously. "I need to talk to you about somethin' important Sir."
His Father invited him to sit down and share a bottle of homemade cider, the one luxury he afforded himself at the end of a hard day in the fields. Grant gratefully accepted.
"Gonna have to get to work fixin' that fence before much longer." Daniel Tracy observed as he handed him the glass. "It's in a mighty bad state of disrepair son."
"OK Daddy but I won't be able to get to it for a couple of weeks." he sighed. "Not if you want me to try to salvage the crop too."
"Mmmm." Daniel frowned without turning his head. "Guess the fence'll have to wait for a bit if that's the case."
He was silent.
"So what's on your mind then son?" he asked. "Nothin' too bad I hope."
Grant began carefully, unsure of his Father's reaction but bursting with the emotion he could no longer keep to himself… his burning desire to have Josephine Brown as his wife.
"Daddy I want to marry Miss Josephine." he said. "And bring her to live with me at the farm."
His Father turned his head in the darkness.
"You sure you're ready to be providin' for a wife son?" he asked in low and calculating voice.
Grant looked confused.
"You talkin' about money Daddy?" he asked.
Daniel shook his head.
"No Grant. I'm talkin about the fact that there's more to providin' for a woman than just money. I told you that when you first started seein' Josephine. Marriage ain't all roses you know."
"Daddy?" he asked again. "I'm unsure as to your meaning Sir."
"Well …you gotta be strong for Josephine for one thing. Gotta know when to be firm with her for another."
He shook his head and added. "From what I've seen of Miss Josephine so far, you bein' firm ain't gonna be all that easy."
Grant's mind flashed back to their courtship so far. Josephine was headstrong, he knew that, but she wasn't anything he couldn't handle.
Daniel Tracy continued.
"Then there's the lovin' son. Lots of consequences to that as I'm sure you know."
Grant listened carefully. At twenty four years of age he had never made love to a woman but was certainly planning on making up for lost time in that area when he married Josephine.
"Daddy I believe I'm ready to marry Josephine." he said with conviction. "And that includes the consequences of lovin' her Sir.
"Well by saying that you're saying to me you're ready to be a Daddy then." his Father said and watched as Grant's expression changed from confidence to one of complete surprise. It was obvious Grant wasn't planning to become a Father straight up and he wasn't too sure that Josephine had aspirations of early parenthood either.
"You sure about that son?" he asked.
Grant swallowed. "Yes Sir. I guess I am."
"Big responsibility son … raisin' a child. Even so me and your momma would have liked to have had more than one. Just couldn't afford it."
Daniel gave him a rare smile. "Still can't afford the one I got."
Grant smiled too. "I earn my keep around here Daddy. Don't you be joshin' me now."
The smile soon left Daniel Tracy's face. He changed the subject.
"Grant. You sure Miss Josephine's got it in her to like livin' out here with us?"
"I'm really hopin' so Daddy."
"Well hopin' ain't gonna be good enough with Josephine. You're gonna have to make a big effort the way I figure it. You've seen her current style of livin' Grant."
"I know Daddy." he said.
"If you want her to ignore the struggle we're facin' with this farm you gotta make good everything else to take her mind off the money. Like tellin' her you love her every chance you get. Women like that long as you mean it. You also gotta put up with her tears sometimes. Life ain't easy out here and town folks don't cope too well at first. It's up to you to make sure she can. That's just the beginning of being a decent husband."
Grant absorbed the advice. He often told Josie how much he loved her. He'd been shy about it at first but not anymore. As for the crying … as far as Grant was concerned Josephine never cried. She flew off the handle a lot but she never cried. He felt his Father's hand confidently pat his back
"You do what I'm tellin' you to do and Josephine'll like it out here. She's one mighty fine young lady boy and you should be grateful for the chance of havin' her."
Grant nodded his head and looked happily into the eyes of his Father.
"Yes Daddy. She's mighty fine all right and I am grateful."
They sat finishing off the bottle of cider. It was Daniel who finally broke the silence.
"So when are you gonna ask her?"
"Well Sir; I gotta ask Mr. Brown first but if he has no objections I was thinkin' about her birthday in a couple of weeks."
Daniel lowered his voice and looked up into the sky.
"Suppose you'll be wantin' your momma's ring then."
Grant bit his lip. He knew how precious his mother's engagement ring was to his Father. It was the only material memory he had left of her and he treasured it.
"Providin' it's OK with you for me to give to her Sir."
Daniel's his eyes glistened with emotion. "Momma wouldda liked Josephine. Goes without sayin' she'd want her to have it."
Grant's eyes glistened too. He wished his Mother had lived long enough to meet her.
His Father went into the farm house and returned several minutes later with a small velvet box in his hand. He held it out towards him.
"A marriage is for keeps and it's up to you to make sure it stays that way." he warned. "And in givin' you this Grant I'm expectin' you'll always treat Josephine like I treated your momma."
Daniel Tracy's last words when he handed him his Mother's engagement ring echoed in Grant Tracy's head as his mind returned to the present and his eyes looked once more at the sensual lips of Josephine Brown.
How easy it would be to simply say yes right now.
How easy it would be to tell himself her feelings didn't matter to him anymore.
But this was his final opportunity with Josephine Brown and experiencing things once would be better than never experiencing it at all.
His Father's words held him in check.
"I'm expectin' you'll always treat Josephine like I treated your momma."
Grant flinched. His Father had never treated his Mother with anything other than absolute love and respect. What he was about to do to Josephine was totally lacking in love or respect.
… but if he wasn't going to be allowed to marry her what was the difference to him?
As his conscience was thrown into complete turmoil, her lips pressed against his again. She was so beautiful …
"Grant …" she breathed slipping the shirt from his shoulders.
His self control broke. Even if he never felt himself within her again, he wanted to feel it now. He could deal with the guilt later.
"Josephine." he rasped, his lips searching the nape of her neck. "I've waited so long."
The urgency in his blood reached boiling point as she allowed him to continue.
There was now only silence in the barn.
The flame of the old hurricane lamp flickered and danced above them as Grant Tracy hovered over Josephine Brown.
"I'm expectin' you'll always treat Josephine like I treated your momma."
The words crashed down on his conscience like a tidal wave. He closed his eyes against the memory.
He didn't want to think about the way his Father had treated his Mother.
He didn't want to think about the warning look his Father had given him the night he gave him his mother's ring.
But he had been raised as a Tracy son and he couldn't not think about it.
Desperately he moved away from her and reached out for his discarded shirt.
"I'm sorry Josie…but I can't do somethin' like this." he apologised. "It just don't feel right."
Josephine sat up, her long brown hair tumbling forward over her naked shoulders.
"Grant?"
One word conveyed her complete bewilderment.
"I ain't ready for this Josie." he swallowed averting his eyes. "Please hurry up and make yourself decent ma'am. "
His voice held such a tone of distress and anguish that Josephine could only reach forward for her clothing.
"OK Grant." she said in a quiet and submissive voice. "Whatever you say."
She began to dress in silence.
"I'm real sorry about this Josephine." he said ashamed, his eyes looking anywhere but at her. "It ain't like I don't want to or nothin'. You're just … well …real special to me and I don't want nothin' for you but the best."
Her eyes gleamed softly in the light as she smiled at him.
"All right. I guess it'd be better for us to wait then like you say Grant."
She giggled. "Besides it was startin' to become damned uncomfortable in amongst this hay."
In her own mind however she would have liked to have been able to say to her materialistic sister that Grant Tracy had not only given her something for her twenty-second birthday, it had been something of real "substance".
"Tory'd know what I meant too." she thought mischievously as she buttoned up her shirt and watched Grant stand up beside her.
"I'll wait for you out the front of the fence Josie." he said as he strode out of the barn. "You and me have got some talkin' to do about our future."
Josephine Brown's eyes lit up.
Grant Tracy's eyes filled as he walked forlornly out of the barn.
She was breathless with excitement as she rose to her feet to follow him.
He was sick to his stomach as he walked towards the fence.
She expected he was going to ask her to marry him.
He was about to tell her he had to end things.
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He couldn't believe he was such a coward.
Why the heck couldn't he be a man and just do it?
He knew why all right.
It was because he didn't want to do it.
He'd stood next to the picket fence holding both of her hands for nearly ten minutes saying nothing.
"Grant." she'd said. "I thought you said you wanted to talk about our future."
"I …. I do." he'd stammered.
He still couldn't get the words out.
"Well we mustn't have much of a future if you can't even find somethin' to say to me about it." she berated him. "Come on ... I'm listenin.'"
"Josie…" he'd begun. "It's like this …"
She'd given him her full attention. And that was as far as he got.
He couldn't tell her. Not here.
He'd shaken his head in disgust at how pathetic he was and turned to lead her by the hand towards the truck.
"We'll talk on the way home." he'd said as he opened the door for her to climb inside. "It'll be better that way."
The trip home had been tense. Josephine looked out one window of the truck and he looked out of the other.
The two of them tried to speak at once. Then neither of them said anything.
She was waiting for that special question.
He was putting off the inevitable.
The sandstone fence finally came into view.
They were home.
He turned off the engine and braced himself. He turned to face Josephine Brown.
This was it. He'd delayed things as long as he could.
Josie" he said lowering his face in the darkness, "I got something I gotta say to you ma'am and I've been puttin' it off all night trying to find the right time to say it"
Josephine looked at him expectantly She had been waiting three years for this moment. For three years she had been dreadfully in love with Grant Tracy and she knew without thinking any longer she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.
"Well..." she urged. "...guess now's as good a time as any for you to say it."
He bit both his lips together to compose himself, knowing that once he said this; he would never see Josephine Brown again.
He glanced over at the sandstone fence as it towered in front of the Brown residence.
Her Father was right. She wouldn't cope with being a Farmer's wife.
His Father was right too. It was no use wanting something he was never going to be allowed to have.
And Walter Brown had already said he was unable to have her.
"What's wrong?" she asked with a grin. "Cat got your tongue or something handsome?"
He shook his head and took a deep breath. He reached out and took her left hand in his. Josie's eyes grew wide with excitement.
"Josephine … ummm… we've been seeing a real lot of each other these past few months."
"Uh huh." she agreed, her eyes open wide.
"Well ma'am. … it's like this …. I… I …."
He looked into her beautiful blue eyes and the magical smile on her face. This was killing him.
He closed his hand over hers and exhaled wretchedly.
"Josephine … there's no easy way to say this to you so I'll just have to tell you straight. … I… I … um …I can't see you any more ma'am."
He watched as her entire face fell. He felt her hand slacken in his grasp as if she had suffered some sort of mortal injury.
"What?" she breathed in a deathly whisper, her eyes desperately searching his. "You're just jokin' around Grant …right?"
When he looked away awkwardly her eyes began to fill with tears.
"Grant…why are you breakin' up with me for?" she swallowed. "I ain't done nothin' wrong."
Grant shrugged. He decided to use her Father's words.
"It's nothin' personal Josephine. I just got other priorities these days." he said miserably.
"Priorities?" she gasped. "Like what?"
Grant looked again at the sand-stone fence.
"Like getting' myself outta debt and makin' somethin' of myself and the farm."
She felt hot tears begin to burn down her cheeks.
"I've never stopped you from bettering yourself Grant." she blurted through trembling lips. "Not in all the time I've known you."
"Josephine I'm not sayin' you have."
"Well what in the hell are you sayin' then?"
"I'm just sayin' I can't see you anymore."
Josephine looked at him in devastation.
"Is there somebody else? Is that the real reason you've been avoidin' me these past three weeks?"
Grant Tracy felt tears welling in his own eyes.
"No Josie there's never been anyone since I met you." he said turning his face away so she couldn't see them.
The stream of tears escalated.
"I don't believe you!" she cried. "You're lyin' to me Grant."
The tears in Grants eyes now threatened to fall too. He desperately brushed his eyes with the back of his hand to contain them.
"Josie honest ... I ain't lyin' to you. There ain't no-one else. There never was … never will be."
He looked at her not knowing what else to say. Finally the words came.
"This is just somethin' I gotta do ma'am."
Josephine rounded on him.
"That's a load of hogwash Grant. You don't gotta do anything you don't wanna do and you know it."
She couldn't contain the pain in her heart any longer. She broke into noisy sobs. Grant was completely aghast. He had never seen her cry before.
"Josie... please baby …" he pleaded as her sobs grew louder. "Please don't cry."
He tried to take her hand but she pulled away from him like a wounded animal.
"I loved you Grant Tracy." she accused him through her tears. "I loved you so much I was gonna give you what I didn't intend to lose 'till my wedding night.
She looked at him with hatred. "And you were gonna take it from me too. I can't believe you were gonna take away somethin' you knew was important to me and then bring me home to break up with me."
"Please understand Josie." he begged. "That's why I couldn't do it. It wouldn't have been right."
She dismissed his explanation and continued to cry.
"Who cares if you went through with it or not? You were going to Grant and that's enough for me."
She lowered her head,sobbing loudly. Tears continued to flood down her cheeks.
"How could you do something like this to me? It's my birthday." she choked.
"Josie ... I ..." he began but her hand now searched for the door handle of the truck.
"Guess I was wrong thinkin' you loved me." echoed in his ears as she stumbled blindly out onto the footpath. "I guess was wrong about you from the very beginning."
Those words caused his own eyes to overflow. He would never love anyone more than he loved Josephine Brown. Hearing her say that felt like a burning hot stake being driven right through the centre of his heart.
"Josie ... it's not true ..." he blurted wiping away the tears that now ran unchecked down his own cheeks. "It ain't."
"It is true. All of it." she shot back. "I never meant nothin' to you. Nothin' at all. You were gonna use me Grant and I'll never ever forgive you for that for as long I live. "
She slammed the door of the truck and ran through the gates of the sandstone fence.
"Josie...no ..." he gasped in desolation.
He looked at the fence as his face crumbled.
He remembered Walter Brown's words.
"Josephine just wouldn't cope being a Farmer's wife."
He remembered his Father's words.
"Son, ain't no use burnin' up inside over Miss Josephine if her Daddy says you can't have her."
And the other words he knew only too well.
"Tracy sons don't cry."
He heard the front door of the Brown residence open and close.
A silence followed.
Josephine Brown was gone from his life.
His head and shoulders slowly bowed in defeat behind the wheel of the old pick-up truck.
His lips trembled as his grief overwhelmed him. He couldn't keep it in.
He didn't care if Tracy sons didn't cry.
He had just lost the most precious possession in his life.
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Author's Note - Please review!!!
Next Chapter - The love story of Grant Tracy and Josephine Brown reaches its' conclusion.
STORY ONE - A FENCE CREATES A FAMILY - PART TWO
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FENCES & FAMILIES
STORY ONE - PART ONE - A FENCE CREATES A FAMILY
Picture a Fence - "An upright structure enclosing an area of ground"
then
Picture a Family - "A close alliance"
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Josephine Brown leaned on the old dilapidated fence and took a moment to gaze at the horizon. She idly twirled her long brown ponytail around her index finger, carefully surveying the miles of dry farming land stretching on all four sides of the farmhouse.
The horizon was hazy, evidence of the relentless drought which gripped the State in its vice-like grasp.
Josephine was torn between wishing the rain would fall soon and appreciating the fact that today was yet another beautiful, hot day in Kansas. The sky was blue, the air was still and the company … well as far as Josephine Alice Brown was concerned, the company she was keeping right now was absolutely perfect.
Her blue eyes sparkled impishly in the sunlight as they came to rest on the tall, well-developed frame of Grant Daniel Tracy.
Josie felt a small sigh of bliss shudder through her body. She could look at his handsome young face for hours.
But despite enjoying the "scenery", she was fast becoming disgruntled. He hadn't looked up from fixing that blasted fence for nearly half an hour. Josephine shifted her weight and let out an exasperated sigh.
How could anyone be so totally engrossed in a stupid broken down old fence?
"Come on handsome... "she began. "…you still haven't told me where you've been hiding yourself these past three weeks. I haven't seen you anywhere; not even at the market."
She leaned forward and lowered her voice. "I was startin' to worry you'd fallen off the face of the earth or somethin'."
When Grant didn't look up and didn't reply she added pointedly.
"You know how discontent I get when you don't call by Grant."
Grant Tracy recognised the tone in her voice and briefly lifted his head from his work.
"I'm sorry Josie." he shrugged. "I've just been kinda busy round here that's all. "
Josephine, happy to finally have his attention, then winked at him and asked suggestively.
"Too busy even to be kissin' me handsome?"
Grant reddened and looked back at the fence.
"Aww Josie." he said feeling totally embarrassed. "You're givin' a man ideas saying things like that."
Josie plonked herself down on the grass next to him.
"Ideas?" she asked with avid interest. "What sorts of ideas you got Grant?"
Grant Tracy averted his eyes. Even after three years of dating he still felt self-conscious about the feelings of desire which burned inside him whenever he was anywhere near Josephine Brown.
"Come on handsome." she insisted looking at him with her big blue eyes. "I want you to tell me."
He shook his head.
"Not talkin' huh?" she grinned and poked him playfully in the ribs. "Must be mighty shameful thoughts you're havin then'."
Grant's face reddened further.
"Never you mind what I'm thinkin' Miss Brown." he managed to mumble.
He felt her arms encircle his neck and before he knew it her lips were pressed against his cheek.
"I know what you were thinkin'" she admonished him. "And I swear you're gonna have to go to church twice this Sunday for thinkin' it!"
"I can't help thinkin' the things I do when you're so damned pretty Josie." he admitted. "Especially when you come over here lookin' like that."
It was Josephine's turn to blush then as Grant Tracy ran his dark blue eyes over her tight denim cut-offs and close-fitting shirt.
"Don't say things like that Grant" she berated him.
Grant immediately looked away.
"Sorry Josie." he apologised in a quiet voice.
An awkward silence fell between them. Josie suddenly reached forward and jammed his old tattered hat down over his ears.
"Oh Grant!" she teased. "You're so damned serious all the time. You oughtta know I like it when you say I'm pretty."
She began to giggle as he struggled to remove the hat and then broke into fits of laughter when he finally managed to get it off.
"You should see what you look like!" she shrieked in amusement referring to his dishevelled mop of dark brown hair. "I can't believe I was dumb enough to call you handsome."
Grant's last piece of self- restraint melted and he smiled too. He simply couldn't resist her.
He put down his hammer and motioned her into his arms. She immediately nestled close to him and his grip tightened around her. He closed his eyes as he held her and told himself that no matter what her Father had said to him out the front of that sandstone fence three weeks ago, he would never stop loving the heart and soul of Josephine Brown.
"I've really been missin' you Josie." he murmured, lightly kissing the top of her head.
She looked up into his eyes with adoration. She was totally smitten with this handsome young Farmer.
"I've been missin' you too." she replied.
He reached forward to brush away a stray lock of hair from her forehead.
"I meant what I said about you before you know. "he said tucking the hair behind her left ear. "You're the prettiest girl in the whole of Kansas."
"Only Kansas?" she pouted dropping her lip and feigning to be hurt.
He grinned and tweaked her nose. "Well I can't be sure of nothin' else Josephine." he joked. "I haven't ever been out of Kansas to find out."
She frowned and gave him a light-hearted slap.
"You just watch yourself buster." she warned. "I'm not about to let you go and start lookin' either!"
He pulled her even closer to him and felt the warmth of her body radiate against his.
"Well that certainly suits me." he said happily squeezing her tight and taking in every facet of her beautiful young face.
"Me too." she breathed.
Slowly their lips came to meet and the two of them shared a long and loving kiss.
After it ended they continued to stare into each others eyes.
"I sure do love you Grant Tracy." she whispered.
Grant sighed and released his grip on her. He wanted to say he loved her in return but he knew he wasn't ever going to be allowed to love her. Not in the way he wanted to.
He looked in the direction of the rickety old fence and tried not to think about the images of sandstone which were always uppermost in his mind.
"Josephine Brown, I swear I gotta stop all this mush right now." he said firmly in an attempt to change the subject. "You're distracting me from my work."
She immediately broke into a broad grin and leaned back on the fence.
"Am I?" she winked. "Would you like me to go home then?"
Grant Tracy looked at Josephine Brown.
"No Josie." he said honestly and with true sadness in his deep young voice. "If I had my way I'd never let you go home."
Another look of mischief stole over her features.
"Oh?" she asked. "You intending to kidnap me then handsome?"
"There you go putting ideas in a man's head again." he replied in a futile attempt to forget his unhappy thoughts.
"So where would you hide me?" she asked playfully. "Out in the barn or tied up nice and tight underneath your bed in the farmhouse?"
"Under the bed's as good a place as any." he joked. "Then when I was feelin' the need I could drag you out and have my way with you."
She looked in the direction of the farmhouse.
"Now you're really asking for trouble." she giggled. "Imagine what your Daddy would say if he caught you doin' something like that."
Now it was Grant's turn to wink.
"Nah. Daddy's used to it!" he grinned. "I got a different girl under there every night of the week."
He laughed as she frowned, folded her arms and turned away in a huff.
"That's not the least bit funny Grant." she sulked.
She stood defiantly with her back to him waiting for him to apologise.
"Now who's being so damned serious all the time huh?" he teased, playfully pulling at her ponytail.
However, stubborn as ever, Josephine Brown refused to budge until she got an apology.
"Oh come on Josie! Turn around! You know as well as I do there's never been anyone 'cept you." he said.
She swung back around and looked him up and down.
"Better not be." she warned. "No-one else is allowed under that bed of yours Grant Tracy, you got that?"
Grant raised his eyebrows.
"Oh I got it all right Josephine but I don't think your Daddy would be too happy about the idea."
Her face took on a determined look.
"I don't give a damn what my Daddy thinks. If I decide I want to be tied up under your bed then I will be and nothin' he could say or do about it would make me change my mind."
Grant shook his head at her. He loved her spirit and forthright attitude to life. He often wished he could be the same but he knew that was never going to happen. He was a Tracy son and he knew very well Tracy sons were expected to keep a level head.
"Well I sure as heck don't want to upset your Daddy Josephine so I guess I'll just have to settle for you going home from here for now." he replied, reaching out and moving the rickety fence to and fro. "Besides I really gotta get back to fixin' this fence if you don't mind. Daddy's told me he wants it done by nightfall."
Josephine shrugged her shoulders and pulled her car keys out of her pocket.
"OK then. Guess I should be heading back into town anyway. I got things to do myself."
She leaned forward and kissed his cheek.
"I'll see you later handsome."
"Bye Josie. "he replied returning the affection. "Be seein' you 'round."
Her impish voice floated back to him as she made her way to her car.
"Don't you leave it too long this time Farmer Tracy else I'll be coming back here and doin' more than just hiding myself under your bed."
Grant laughed and leaned on the fence waving as she drove away.
Once she had gone he heaved a heavy sigh before sitting back down on the hay bale next to the fence to continue his work.
The midday sun was savage and it wasn't long before the familiar beads of sweat began to dot his sun-tanned forehead. He looked about for his hat. His face broadened into a wide grin as he thought about Josephine pulling the hat over his eyes and teasing him about his hair. Almost as quickly his smile faded. He wished he could afford a decent haircut.
"Miss Josephine gone home then?" came a deep voice from behind him.
Grant Tracy nodded as he carefully aligned the next picket on the fence.
"Yep." he replied and began to hammer.
"What with all your carrying on out here I was startin' to think you didn't intend to finish the fence today."
"It'll be done Daddy." Grant muttered and banged the nail in harder. "You oughtta know that."
The minutes ticked on and the length of the fence began to rattle with the force of his blows.
"Ain't no sense takin' all that aggravation out on the fence son."
"Haven't got any aggravation." Grant lied leaning forward to pick up another picket. He ran his eye over the rotted wood and frowned before throwing it forcefully into the dusty, dry earth.
"Can't we use that no more?"
"Nope. Nail'll split it in half. It's only good for the fire now."
Grant continued his work in silence.
"Must be one mighty tough decision you're tryin' to make in your head right now." observed the deep voice.
"Yep." was the only reply.
"You needin' some advice with makin' it son?"
At the sound his Father's words, the hammering stopped.
"Maybe." he admitted.
A large work ravaged hand reached out and squeezed his shoulder.
"Grant, ain't no use burnin' up inside over Miss Josephine if her Daddy says you can't have her."
Grant lifted his eyes to meet the concerned features of his Father.
"I know that Daddy."
"Well the way I figure it, if you can't have her, there's no decision for you to make. You just gotta forget about her and get on with things."
Daniel Tracy watched as his only son acknowledged his words with a miserable nod of his head. His hand gripped Grant's shoulder tighter.
"Son, this situation ain't no different to the way things were when your momma died. I was hurtin' real bad back then but it didn't matter to no-one 'cept me. You know I just had to forget about losin' her and move on. Guess it's your turn now."
Grant turned back to the fence and looked down at the hammer in his hand.
"Dad …I can't move on 'till I break the news to Josephine."
"Well when are you plannin' on doin' that?"
Grant shrugged his shoulders.
"I dunno Daddy."
The quiet insistent voice continued.
"Shouldda done it just now instead of leadin' her on like that."
Grant frowned and looked annoyed.
"Daddy this ain't an easy thing for me to do after courtin' Josephine for nearly three years."
"Son listen to me. You gotta deal with this now. "Daniel Tracy stressed, "I know it's upsettin' for you but like I said before, there ain't no use pursuing things if there's no future to it."
Grant began to hammer in another board.
"There's no damned future for anything 'round here." he murmured unhappily. "Drought's gettin' worse. Farm's losin' more by the week."
Daniel Tracy sighed. Grant had been unsettled ever since he got the notion in his head that he wanted to marry Josephine Brown. The night Walter Brown had rejected him had changed the boy completely. Now he was disgruntled about everything.
"Farm's no worse off than in other years son." he said firmly.
Grant fixed his eyes on him.
"Daddy... it ain't no better either." he replied with an uncustomary directness. "The way I figure it … "
He stopped as he looked at the old weathered face. He simply didn't have it in him to continue. He loved his Father too much say as far as he was concerned the farm was past it now and they needed to cut their losses, settle their debts and move on to something else.
However Daniel Tracy sensed what his son wanted to say and spoke in earnest.
"Son, the Tracy family were farming this land when my Great-Granddaddy was a youngster. We were a mighty prosperous family back then. The richest in the District in fact."
Grant picked up the next board and lined it up with the others.
"Yeah well Mr. Brown would have let me marry Josephine if things were still the same Daddy." he scowled as he banged in the nails. "But things aren't. This family's had no money in the whole of my twenty-four years of living and there ain't no point remembering the past and hopin' it's gonna come back."
The fence began to shake once more under the violent impact of his hammer.
Daniel Tracy's voice sharpened.
"Grant!" he snapped. "I told you hammering that fence like a man possessed ain't gonna change things."
Grant threw down the hammer and stood up abruptly.
"Excuse me Sir but I got too much aggression building up inside me to be working on this God-damned fence. I swear I'll knock it down the way I'm feelin' at the moment."
Daniel frowned.
"Son … you gotta stop blamin' the farm for all this and just get this yearning for Miss Josephine outta your system."
"Leave it alone Daddy." he flashed, pushing past his Father. "I know what I gotta do about Josephine all right?"
Daniel Tracy grasped his son's arm as he pushed past him. He looked him squarely in the eye.
"Grant this farm'll be yours soon and before you know it, you'll be lookin' at passin' it on to your own boy. Prosperity will come back to the Tracy family, but you gotta be patient in the meantime."
Grant tore himself away from his Father.
"Daddy for once in your life open your eyes and see things for what they are. There ain't ever gonna be prosperity in this family while we're shackled to this farm. " he retorted as he stormed away in the direction of the back field.
He suddenly stopped and turned back to look at his bewildered Father.
"And what's more Daddy…" he said unhappily. "Without Mr. Brown's blessing on me and Josephine, you needn't be thinking there's gonna be another Tracy son born into this world either."
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Walter Brown sat at the head of the antique dining table, gripping the stem of his expensive red wine glass and shaking his head. It was going to erupt any minute amongst his daughters and he knew it. All three of them had been aggravating each other from the moment they sat down at the dinner table and it was getting to the stage when one of them was going to explode.
Looking at Josephine's face, Walter knew without a doubt it was going to be her.
It had all started rather innocently with what he thought was going to be a pleasant conversation over dinner about how Josephine intended to spend her twenty-second birthday.
Arabella started things off on the wrong foot. She giggled and said she knew very well how Josephine would want to spend her birthday.
"And how's that since you seem to know so much?" Josephine asked imperiously.
"Smoochin' in the arms of that big, handsome Farmer boy." Arabella replied winking across the table at Victoria.
Josephine had simply reddened and eyed her in silence. Arabella watched the colour invade Josephine's face and neck with an almost morbid delight.
"I'm right aren't I Josie?" she exclaimed. "I can see right through you!"
"Yeah well it ain't too hard for me to see through you either." Josephine flashed. "There's nothin' in your head to see through."
Arabella's face fell and she continued to eat in silence.
Walter smiled.
Josephine had a knack of putting people in their place.
Then of course the worldly Victoria needed to have her say.
"I don't know why you're still seeing him Josie." she sniffed. "He's got absolutely nothing."
Walter cringed when those words left his second daughter's mouth. It would be on between the two of them now. His two elder daughters were only fifteen months apart and not a day went by when they didn't argue about something. Josephine's forthright and direct ways sometimes annoyed Victoria but Victoria's worldly aspirations really aggravated Josephine.
"How the hell would you know what Grant has and hasn't got?" Josephine snapped.
Victoria rolled her eyes and picked up her wine glass. "Josie he's a Farmer isn't he?"
"So what if he's a Farmer?" Josephine replied in a testy voice. "Doesn't mean he's broke."
Victoria's voice became smug. "Doesn't it Josie?"
The two girls eyed each other distastefully.
"Why don't you ask Daddy how much money he has if you don't believe me." Victoria scoffed. "He'll tell you he hasn't got a dime."
Josephine's eyes riveted in her Father's direction.
Walter Brown found himself reddening. He didn't want to get drawn into any argument involving his daughters, least of all the fiery Josephine.
"Well Daddy?" Josephine glared.
"It's no-one's business but mine how much money my clients have or haven't got." he thundered eyeing them both up and down.
That had seemed to settle them down for a while but as usual the peace and quiet didn't last. Walter shook his head with frustration as Arabella started them all off again.
"So what's Grant givin' you for your birthday Josie?" she asked her blue eyes wide with excitement.
Before Josephine could reply Victoria butted in.
"More than likely the same as she got from him last year." she said. "Nothin'."
Josephine's dark blue eyes clouded and Walter Brown sensed the quarrel was imminent.
"You shut your goddamn mouth Victoria." she spat.
Victoria shrugged her shoulders and looked at her arrogantly. "Wanna bet me I'm wrong Josie?"
Josephine slammed down her cutlery on the table. "I said shut your mouth!"
"Girls!' Walter Brown interjected. "That's enough from both of you!"
The meal continued in silence. After a few moments Arabella continued, completely oblivious to the altercation that was about to erupt between her two sisters.
"He might give you an engagement ring hey Josie?" she enthused. "You've been seeing him for over three years now."
Victoria burst into laughter.
"Engagement ring?" she mocked opening her eyes wide. "Bella I think Josephine's got it right about you for once."
Arabella frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Victoria looked her straight in the face. "It means there ain't nothin' in your head if you believe Grant Tracy'd ever have the money to buy Josie an engagement ring."
Arabella looked at Josephine whose hands now gripped the edge of the dining table in a silent fury. She swallowed nervously. Josephine was about to explode. She quickly admonished Victoria.
"There ain't nothin' in your head either 'cept dollar signs." she retorted.
"You sure got that right little sister." Josephine barked as she stared angrily across the table. "She doesn't care about anything else."
Then the argument really started. It climaxed with Victoria's ultimate question.
"All right then Josie. You answer me this truthfully as God is your witness. Who would you rather wake up next to in the mornings? A Farmer with nothin'? Or a man with substance?"
… and ended with Josephine's ultimate answer.
"Far as I'm concerned the one who had the substance I was wantin' before I went to sleep beside him." Josephine replied candidly.
Victoria and Arabella looked at each other in shock. Neither of them could believe Josephine had just said that right in front of their Father.
Even Walter Brown had been stunned.
Josephine instantly realised what she had said. Speaking her mind had always been her biggest failing. She turned to her Father.
"I'm sorry Daddy." she murmured. "I only meant money means nothing to me."
To Walter Brown's mind came the night in front of the sandstone fence when Grant Tracy had asked if he had any objections to him marrying Josephine. He had objected because the boy had no money. Now here was Josephine saying she didn't care if he had money or not. He began to feel uneasy.
"Josephine I'd like you to take a walk with me after supper." he finally said. "Your sisters can tidy up in here."
Josephine looked at her Father with a worried face. "Daddy ... I said I was sorry."
"Yes I know you did but what you just said in front of your sisters is totally unacceptable." he replied.
"Yeah and we get all the chores dumped on us as well!" Victoria complained.
"I fixed the supper you've been scoffing down like there's no tomorrow!" Josephine snapped. "I'm not dumping on you or anyone. And just so you know I did mean what I said Victoria. The men you date wouldn't even know what to do."
"What Josie... and Grant does?" Victoria shot back.
"Stop that gutter-type talk at once! " Walter snapped. "I won't stand for it!"
Silence was absolute.
"I'll just be glad when your Momma gets back from New York tomorrow." he bristled glaring from one daughter to the other. "She might be able to get you three girls to stop all your damned arguing and carrying on all the time."
He looked over at Josephine. "You ready to go then young lady?"
Josephine swallowed and rose from the table.
"I'll get my coat Daddy."
Walter looked at his eldest daughter as she left the room. There was no doubt she was an attractive young woman and he guessed he couldn't blame young Grant Tracy for falling in love with her.
He rose from the table too.
"I'll be back in a little while." he said gruffly to his two younger daughters. "Make sure all of this is tidied up when I get back with your sister all right?"
Arabella and Victoria nodded their heads and as he left the room Arabella giggled.
"I know you don't agree Victoria but I think Josie's right. A man with physical substance in the bedroom is much more interestin' than one with a great big bank account."
Walter shook his head again and pretended not to hear her. Why couldn't he have had three sons instead! Life would be much less complicated right now.
He met Josephine at the door and together they left the house and walked out into the night.
Josephine looked about with interest and pointed at the house across the street.
"Look Daddy. Mr. Marshall's puttin' up a fence like ours too." she said.
"Mmmm..." Walter mused. "Makes four in the street now."
Josephine frowned. "Whole neighbourhood's startin' to look like Fort Knox if you ask me." she said with her usual directness. "Damn ugly."
"Sandstone is not ugly Josephine. It's expensive and durable." he pointed out. "And it's a status symbol in these parts."
"Don't care what sort of status symbol it is Daddy." she shrugged. "It's damn ugly.
There she was again. Speaking her mind regardless of whether it was appreciated or not.
Walter cleared his throat. It was time he sorted this feisty young lady out.
"Josephine ... I think it's time you and me talked about a couple of things."
Josephine looked nervous.
"Daddy if it's about what I said before, I'm sorry it came outta my mouth but Victoria was really aggravating me with all her carrying on over money."
Walter put his arm around her and guided her across the street.
"Josephine. Money is important to a degree." he said. "I know Victoria takes it to the extreme but in a lot of ways she's right."
Josephine frowned.
"How do you figure that Daddy?" she asked.
Walter carefully picked his words.
"Well without a reasonable income there's not much food for the table for one thing. And it goes without saying you have totally deny yourself luxuries like new clothing and vacations."
Her dark blue eyes searched his.
"Yes but Daddy if you were truly happy it wouldn't matter to you would it?"
"Josephine you've never known what's it's like to go without anything so it's easy for you to say that. Now you look at me and tell me the honest truth. Would you be happy if you couldn't have a new dress or something nice for yourself whenever you wanted it?"
Josephine was silent for a few minutes.
"No Daddy." she replied. "I guess not."
He breathed a sigh of relief. At least he had been right about her. Josephine was her Mother's daughter through and through and like Alice, she made the most of her affluent lifestyle in every possible way.
"I thought you'd say that. "he said. "… which brings me to the next issue I want to discuss with you."
Josephine winced as her Father's eyebrows knitted together.
"Your mouth young lady." he said sternly.
Josephine lowered her head. "Yes Sir."
"Josie, I'm telling you for the last time that you've got to learn to hold your tongue when things don't suit you." Walter directed. "If you don't you're going to get yourself in a lot of trouble before much longer."
"I know Daddy." she sighed. "That's what Grant says to me too."
"Well if Grant needs to say something to you as well Josephine, do you think somehow there might be a problem?"
Josephine didn't reply. Walter decided to seize the opportunity to bring the matter up.
"And while we're on the subject of Grant…" he began.
Josephine's eyes became guarded.
"What about Grant Daddy?" she asked.
"Well … you've been seeing him for a good while now."
"Like 'Bella said over supper, the two of us have been together close on three years now."
Walter grew contemplative. Josephine noticed it immediately.
"You like him don't you Daddy?" she asked in a worried voice.
"Yes of course I like him Josie. He's a very nice boy." Walter said warily.
This cautious approach was becoming all too much for Walter Brown. He needed to know the proper situation between his eldest daughter and young Grant Tracy and if he didn't ask her now he was never going to find out.
He took a deep breath and spoke.
"Josephine I probably have no right to ask you this because you are of age to do as you please." he said. "But I'm going to ask you anyway for my own sake."
"What Daddy?" she asked inquisitively.
"Josie … honey … errr…just how deeply are you and Grant errr... involved?" he asked.
Josephine stopped walking and looked her Father straight in the eye.
"Are you asking me if we've been to bed together Daddy? If you are , I don't mind telling you. Contrary to what Victoria thinks no we haven't." she replied forthrightly.
Walter flushed with embarrassment. This daughter of his was truly a law unto herself. He decided right there and then it was pointless talking to her about controlling what she said because she was going to say what she thought when she thought it no matter what.
"Anything else you would like to know about Grant and me Daddy?" she asked with her eyes still firmly on his. "I got no secrets from you."
"I... err ... um.... no …" Walter stammered. "But while I think of it, don't forget to let him know he's welcome over at the house tomorrow night for your birthday."
Josephine shook her head.
"No can do Daddy. He's makin' me Dinner at the farmhouse tomorrow night. He said needs to talk to me about somethin'. Hope that's all right with you and momma."
Walter Brown's stomach began to churn.
"Daddy?" she said.
He gave her a fleeting smile and tried to hide the worry he felt in his heart.
"That's fine honey." he replied. "Err…any idea what he wants to talk to you about?" he asked.
She shook her head.
"No Sir but he said it's important."
She giggled.
"Hey Daddy maybe Arabella might be right about things after all huh?"
"Right about what?"
She winked at him.
"The engagement ring."
She held out her left hand in front of her and looked at her bare finger.
"Might come home the future Mrs. Grant Tracy tomorrow night." she speculated. "What would you think about that Daddy?"
Walter Brown tried to tell himself he wasn't about to lose the contents of his stomach.
"I think we should go back in the house that's what I think." was all he could manage to say.
"Josephine Alice Tracy." Josephine breathed dreamily as she danced around underneath the stars. "It sounds absolutely perfect."
The sandstone fence appeared in front of them. They were home. Josephine stopped and looked up at it, looked across the street and shook her head at her Father.
"Daddy I know you think it's grand and all but these fences are real damn ugly."
She paused and then added hastily. "That is if you want my opinion on the matter Sir."
"Actually Josie I don't want your opinion." he replied and continued to walk. "I like the sandstone fence very much and so does your mother."
"It surrounds the place like a fortress and makes a person feel like they ain't welcome here." she mumbled so her Father didn't hear her. "That's what Grant says anyway."
Walter stopped and called her away from the fence. "Josephine. You comin' inside or not?"
Josephine's thoughts were now with Grant Tracy.
"Give me Grant's old picket fence any day Daddy. "she said loudly as she walked up the drive. "Might not be big and expensive like ours but at least it makes the farmhouse look like home."
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
The old hurricane lamp flickered in the darkness and the only sound to be heard in the barn was a badly suppressed giggle. The loft was musty and the draught coming from between the floorboards was cool but she didn't care at all as she lay amongst the hay bales cradled in Grant Tracy's arms.
Despite the dimness Josephine Brown gazed up dotingly at the features of the handsome young Farmer.
"You kiss me like that one more time Grant Tracy and I swear I'll forget myself." she breathed.
Grant raised his eyebrows.
"That so? I'm startin' to like the sound of that." he murmured and leaned over her again. She lifted both arms over his head and eased them down around his neck. She drew his face to hers. Their lips met once more in the half-light of the lamp. They kissed each other with a growing passion.
Slowly their lips parted and Grant's face remained close to hers. He fixed his dark blue eyes on her and ran his hands through her loose brown hair and down the side of her face.
"You're so pretty Josephine." he whispered as his fingers paused momentarily on her lips.
"Am I?" she replied casually, lightly running her hand down the front of his shirt and toying with the buttons. "Or are you just sayin' that so I'll let you take advantage of me?"
She watched as his face fell and he loosened his grip on her.
"Josie you know I wouldn't do that." he said in a solemn voice. "I've told you lots of times how much I respect you."
She playfully undid his top button.
"Shame about that." she teased. "I was kind of hoping some big strong Farmer might like to finally have the opportunity."
Grant Tracy looked at her beautiful features. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. Josephine Brown was finally offering him the opportunity to do what he had wanted to do for nearly three years. The chance to take her as his own.
"Josie" he whispered. "Are you serious?"
Josephine nodded. She was completely in love with him and was finally comfortable that he felt the same way about her.
"Yes I am." she replied.
Grant sat up almost knocking the lamp off the hay bale. He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand and looked around awkwardly.
"Gee Josie…I…I dunno about this." he stammered. "You told me you that losin' your innocence was somethin' you didn't wanna do until your wedding night."
Josephine sat up too.
"Well that's true for most part Grant… but I've been thinkin' about it and I don't see the sense in waitin' any longer since you and me are gonna get married one day any way."
She ran her hands across his massive shoulders. The thought of his strong physique naked in her arms was setting her on fire.
"Grant, it's my birthday..." she said drawing him into another long and passionate kiss.
Grant could feel himself weakening. He had dreamed of this moment for so long and had given up all hope of ever having it. Now here she was lying in his arms, never looking more beautiful and telling him that he could.
He broke away and shook his head. Having one last evening together in the barn before he ended things was one thing, making love to her and then saying he didn't want to see her anymore was another.
"No Josie." he said. "You don't deserve to lose your innocence in a dirty, broken down old place like this. It should be special moment in a proper marriage bed just like you've been saying to me these past three years."
Josephine looked at his face as the flame danced across it. At the moment she didn't care where she was when it happened, as long as it was with him.
"Grant …" she whispered. "It don't matter to me no more."
It was Grant's turn to look at her in the shadows. Tonight was turning out to be the most complicated and gut wrenching experience he'd ever had. And now this…
Four weeks ago he had finally plucked up the courage to go out onto the porch and speak with his Father. His Father spent every evening sitting out on the porch and looking over the farm. Daniel Tracy had done that for as long as Grant could remember and up until she passed on just over five years ago, his mother had always sat there too. Now he sat alone and in silence.
"Daddy." he said nervously. "I need to talk to you about somethin' important Sir."
His Father invited him to sit down and share a bottle of homemade cider, the one luxury he afforded himself at the end of a hard day in the fields. Grant gratefully accepted.
"Gonna have to get to work fixin' that fence before much longer." Daniel Tracy observed as he handed him the glass. "It's in a mighty bad state of disrepair son."
"OK Daddy but I won't be able to get to it for a couple of weeks." he sighed. "Not if you want me to try to salvage the crop too."
"Mmmm." Daniel frowned without turning his head. "Guess the fence'll have to wait for a bit if that's the case."
He was silent.
"So what's on your mind then son?" he asked. "Nothin' too bad I hope."
Grant began carefully, unsure of his Father's reaction but bursting with the emotion he could no longer keep to himself… his burning desire to have Josephine Brown as his wife.
"Daddy I want to marry Miss Josephine." he said. "And bring her to live with me at the farm."
His Father turned his head in the darkness.
"You sure you're ready to be providin' for a wife son?" he asked in low and calculating voice.
Grant looked confused.
"You talkin' about money Daddy?" he asked.
Daniel shook his head.
"No Grant. I'm talkin about the fact that there's more to providin' for a woman than just money. I told you that when you first started seein' Josephine. Marriage ain't all roses you know."
"Daddy?" he asked again. "I'm unsure as to your meaning Sir."
"Well …you gotta be strong for Josephine for one thing. Gotta know when to be firm with her for another."
He shook his head and added. "From what I've seen of Miss Josephine so far, you bein' firm ain't gonna be all that easy."
Grant's mind flashed back to their courtship so far. Josephine was headstrong, he knew that, but she wasn't anything he couldn't handle.
Daniel Tracy continued.
"Then there's the lovin' son. Lots of consequences to that as I'm sure you know."
Grant listened carefully. At twenty four years of age he had never made love to a woman but was certainly planning on making up for lost time in that area when he married Josephine.
"Daddy I believe I'm ready to marry Josephine." he said with conviction. "And that includes the consequences of lovin' her Sir.
"Well by saying that you're saying to me you're ready to be a Daddy then." his Father said and watched as Grant's expression changed from confidence to one of complete surprise. It was obvious Grant wasn't planning to become a Father straight up and he wasn't too sure that Josephine had aspirations of early parenthood either.
"You sure about that son?" he asked.
Grant swallowed. "Yes Sir. I guess I am."
"Big responsibility son … raisin' a child. Even so me and your momma would have liked to have had more than one. Just couldn't afford it."
Daniel gave him a rare smile. "Still can't afford the one I got."
Grant smiled too. "I earn my keep around here Daddy. Don't you be joshin' me now."
The smile soon left Daniel Tracy's face. He changed the subject.
"Grant. You sure Miss Josephine's got it in her to like livin' out here with us?"
"I'm really hopin' so Daddy."
"Well hopin' ain't gonna be good enough with Josephine. You're gonna have to make a big effort the way I figure it. You've seen her current style of livin' Grant."
"I know Daddy." he said.
"If you want her to ignore the struggle we're facin' with this farm you gotta make good everything else to take her mind off the money. Like tellin' her you love her every chance you get. Women like that long as you mean it. You also gotta put up with her tears sometimes. Life ain't easy out here and town folks don't cope too well at first. It's up to you to make sure she can. That's just the beginning of being a decent husband."
Grant absorbed the advice. He often told Josie how much he loved her. He'd been shy about it at first but not anymore. As for the crying … as far as Grant was concerned Josephine never cried. She flew off the handle a lot but she never cried. He felt his Father's hand confidently pat his back
"You do what I'm tellin' you to do and Josephine'll like it out here. She's one mighty fine young lady boy and you should be grateful for the chance of havin' her."
Grant nodded his head and looked happily into the eyes of his Father.
"Yes Daddy. She's mighty fine all right and I am grateful."
They sat finishing off the bottle of cider. It was Daniel who finally broke the silence.
"So when are you gonna ask her?"
"Well Sir; I gotta ask Mr. Brown first but if he has no objections I was thinkin' about her birthday in a couple of weeks."
Daniel lowered his voice and looked up into the sky.
"Suppose you'll be wantin' your momma's ring then."
Grant bit his lip. He knew how precious his mother's engagement ring was to his Father. It was the only material memory he had left of her and he treasured it.
"Providin' it's OK with you for me to give to her Sir."
Daniel's his eyes glistened with emotion. "Momma wouldda liked Josephine. Goes without sayin' she'd want her to have it."
Grant's eyes glistened too. He wished his Mother had lived long enough to meet her.
His Father went into the farm house and returned several minutes later with a small velvet box in his hand. He held it out towards him.
"A marriage is for keeps and it's up to you to make sure it stays that way." he warned. "And in givin' you this Grant I'm expectin' you'll always treat Josephine like I treated your momma."
Daniel Tracy's last words when he handed him his Mother's engagement ring echoed in Grant Tracy's head as his mind returned to the present and his eyes looked once more at the sensual lips of Josephine Brown.
How easy it would be to simply say yes right now.
How easy it would be to tell himself her feelings didn't matter to him anymore.
But this was his final opportunity with Josephine Brown and experiencing things once would be better than never experiencing it at all.
His Father's words held him in check.
"I'm expectin' you'll always treat Josephine like I treated your momma."
Grant flinched. His Father had never treated his Mother with anything other than absolute love and respect. What he was about to do to Josephine was totally lacking in love or respect.
… but if he wasn't going to be allowed to marry her what was the difference to him?
As his conscience was thrown into complete turmoil, her lips pressed against his again. She was so beautiful …
"Grant …" she breathed slipping the shirt from his shoulders.
His self control broke. Even if he never felt himself within her again, he wanted to feel it now. He could deal with the guilt later.
"Josephine." he rasped, his lips searching the nape of her neck. "I've waited so long."
The urgency in his blood reached boiling point as she allowed him to continue.
There was now only silence in the barn.
The flame of the old hurricane lamp flickered and danced above them as Grant Tracy hovered over Josephine Brown.
"I'm expectin' you'll always treat Josephine like I treated your momma."
The words crashed down on his conscience like a tidal wave. He closed his eyes against the memory.
He didn't want to think about the way his Father had treated his Mother.
He didn't want to think about the warning look his Father had given him the night he gave him his mother's ring.
But he had been raised as a Tracy son and he couldn't not think about it.
Desperately he moved away from her and reached out for his discarded shirt.
"I'm sorry Josie…but I can't do somethin' like this." he apologised. "It just don't feel right."
Josephine sat up, her long brown hair tumbling forward over her naked shoulders.
"Grant?"
One word conveyed her complete bewilderment.
"I ain't ready for this Josie." he swallowed averting his eyes. "Please hurry up and make yourself decent ma'am. "
His voice held such a tone of distress and anguish that Josephine could only reach forward for her clothing.
"OK Grant." she said in a quiet and submissive voice. "Whatever you say."
She began to dress in silence.
"I'm real sorry about this Josephine." he said ashamed, his eyes looking anywhere but at her. "It ain't like I don't want to or nothin'. You're just … well …real special to me and I don't want nothin' for you but the best."
Her eyes gleamed softly in the light as she smiled at him.
"All right. I guess it'd be better for us to wait then like you say Grant."
She giggled. "Besides it was startin' to become damned uncomfortable in amongst this hay."
In her own mind however she would have liked to have been able to say to her materialistic sister that Grant Tracy had not only given her something for her twenty-second birthday, it had been something of real "substance".
"Tory'd know what I meant too." she thought mischievously as she buttoned up her shirt and watched Grant stand up beside her.
"I'll wait for you out the front of the fence Josie." he said as he strode out of the barn. "You and me have got some talkin' to do about our future."
Josephine Brown's eyes lit up.
Grant Tracy's eyes filled as he walked forlornly out of the barn.
She was breathless with excitement as she rose to her feet to follow him.
He was sick to his stomach as he walked towards the fence.
She expected he was going to ask her to marry him.
He was about to tell her he had to end things.
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He couldn't believe he was such a coward.
Why the heck couldn't he be a man and just do it?
He knew why all right.
It was because he didn't want to do it.
He'd stood next to the picket fence holding both of her hands for nearly ten minutes saying nothing.
"Grant." she'd said. "I thought you said you wanted to talk about our future."
"I …. I do." he'd stammered.
He still couldn't get the words out.
"Well we mustn't have much of a future if you can't even find somethin' to say to me about it." she berated him. "Come on ... I'm listenin.'"
"Josie…" he'd begun. "It's like this …"
She'd given him her full attention. And that was as far as he got.
He couldn't tell her. Not here.
He'd shaken his head in disgust at how pathetic he was and turned to lead her by the hand towards the truck.
"We'll talk on the way home." he'd said as he opened the door for her to climb inside. "It'll be better that way."
The trip home had been tense. Josephine looked out one window of the truck and he looked out of the other.
The two of them tried to speak at once. Then neither of them said anything.
She was waiting for that special question.
He was putting off the inevitable.
The sandstone fence finally came into view.
They were home.
He turned off the engine and braced himself. He turned to face Josephine Brown.
This was it. He'd delayed things as long as he could.
Josie" he said lowering his face in the darkness, "I got something I gotta say to you ma'am and I've been puttin' it off all night trying to find the right time to say it"
Josephine looked at him expectantly She had been waiting three years for this moment. For three years she had been dreadfully in love with Grant Tracy and she knew without thinking any longer she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.
"Well..." she urged. "...guess now's as good a time as any for you to say it."
He bit both his lips together to compose himself, knowing that once he said this; he would never see Josephine Brown again.
He glanced over at the sandstone fence as it towered in front of the Brown residence.
Her Father was right. She wouldn't cope with being a Farmer's wife.
His Father was right too. It was no use wanting something he was never going to be allowed to have.
And Walter Brown had already said he was unable to have her.
"What's wrong?" she asked with a grin. "Cat got your tongue or something handsome?"
He shook his head and took a deep breath. He reached out and took her left hand in his. Josie's eyes grew wide with excitement.
"Josephine … ummm… we've been seeing a real lot of each other these past few months."
"Uh huh." she agreed, her eyes open wide.
"Well ma'am. … it's like this …. I… I …."
He looked into her beautiful blue eyes and the magical smile on her face. This was killing him.
He closed his hand over hers and exhaled wretchedly.
"Josephine … there's no easy way to say this to you so I'll just have to tell you straight. … I… I … um …I can't see you any more ma'am."
He watched as her entire face fell. He felt her hand slacken in his grasp as if she had suffered some sort of mortal injury.
"What?" she breathed in a deathly whisper, her eyes desperately searching his. "You're just jokin' around Grant …right?"
When he looked away awkwardly her eyes began to fill with tears.
"Grant…why are you breakin' up with me for?" she swallowed. "I ain't done nothin' wrong."
Grant shrugged. He decided to use her Father's words.
"It's nothin' personal Josephine. I just got other priorities these days." he said miserably.
"Priorities?" she gasped. "Like what?"
Grant looked again at the sand-stone fence.
"Like getting' myself outta debt and makin' somethin' of myself and the farm."
She felt hot tears begin to burn down her cheeks.
"I've never stopped you from bettering yourself Grant." she blurted through trembling lips. "Not in all the time I've known you."
"Josephine I'm not sayin' you have."
"Well what in the hell are you sayin' then?"
"I'm just sayin' I can't see you anymore."
Josephine looked at him in devastation.
"Is there somebody else? Is that the real reason you've been avoidin' me these past three weeks?"
Grant Tracy felt tears welling in his own eyes.
"No Josie there's never been anyone since I met you." he said turning his face away so she couldn't see them.
The stream of tears escalated.
"I don't believe you!" she cried. "You're lyin' to me Grant."
The tears in Grants eyes now threatened to fall too. He desperately brushed his eyes with the back of his hand to contain them.
"Josie honest ... I ain't lyin' to you. There ain't no-one else. There never was … never will be."
He looked at her not knowing what else to say. Finally the words came.
"This is just somethin' I gotta do ma'am."
Josephine rounded on him.
"That's a load of hogwash Grant. You don't gotta do anything you don't wanna do and you know it."
She couldn't contain the pain in her heart any longer. She broke into noisy sobs. Grant was completely aghast. He had never seen her cry before.
"Josie... please baby …" he pleaded as her sobs grew louder. "Please don't cry."
He tried to take her hand but she pulled away from him like a wounded animal.
"I loved you Grant Tracy." she accused him through her tears. "I loved you so much I was gonna give you what I didn't intend to lose 'till my wedding night.
She looked at him with hatred. "And you were gonna take it from me too. I can't believe you were gonna take away somethin' you knew was important to me and then bring me home to break up with me."
"Please understand Josie." he begged. "That's why I couldn't do it. It wouldn't have been right."
She dismissed his explanation and continued to cry.
"Who cares if you went through with it or not? You were going to Grant and that's enough for me."
She lowered her head,sobbing loudly. Tears continued to flood down her cheeks.
"How could you do something like this to me? It's my birthday." she choked.
"Josie ... I ..." he began but her hand now searched for the door handle of the truck.
"Guess I was wrong thinkin' you loved me." echoed in his ears as she stumbled blindly out onto the footpath. "I guess was wrong about you from the very beginning."
Those words caused his own eyes to overflow. He would never love anyone more than he loved Josephine Brown. Hearing her say that felt like a burning hot stake being driven right through the centre of his heart.
"Josie ... it's not true ..." he blurted wiping away the tears that now ran unchecked down his own cheeks. "It ain't."
"It is true. All of it." she shot back. "I never meant nothin' to you. Nothin' at all. You were gonna use me Grant and I'll never ever forgive you for that for as long I live. "
She slammed the door of the truck and ran through the gates of the sandstone fence.
"Josie...no ..." he gasped in desolation.
He looked at the fence as his face crumbled.
He remembered Walter Brown's words.
"Josephine just wouldn't cope being a Farmer's wife."
He remembered his Father's words.
"Son, ain't no use burnin' up inside over Miss Josephine if her Daddy says you can't have her."
And the other words he knew only too well.
"Tracy sons don't cry."
He heard the front door of the Brown residence open and close.
A silence followed.
Josephine Brown was gone from his life.
His head and shoulders slowly bowed in defeat behind the wheel of the old pick-up truck.
His lips trembled as his grief overwhelmed him. He couldn't keep it in.
He didn't care if Tracy sons didn't cry.
He had just lost the most precious possession in his life.
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Author's Note - Please review!!!
Next Chapter - The love story of Grant Tracy and Josephine Brown reaches its' conclusion.
STORY ONE - A FENCE CREATES A FAMILY - PART TWO
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