All right. You want to know?
Of course not.
As far as you're concerned- what's to know?
Well, I'll tell you.
If you would give me a chance that is.
I mean, its only every so often a man can find himself presented with the opportunity to find absolute oneness with the universe- to find though the peace and quiet of solidarity, his own redemption.
But- I- would sacrifice all of that, for the chance to tell this story.
Now, I'm willing to bet your interest is peaked.
I can assure you that it gets much more exciting then this.
I have quite the tale to share.
But first, you must be wondering what I am doing here.
In this cell.
If you hadn't already guessed that is. That I'm locked up. In a cell.
If you guessed then I guess this whole time I was building up to nothing.
Thank you. Thank you so much for taking that away from me.
Now, where was I?
Oh yes.
The beginning.
Every good story I can think of starts off with a catchy phrase. Especially those "happily ever after" spiels. Those are always good. Oh but wait, I guess that's the end? I'm getting ahead of myself. What I meant to quote is "once upon a time…" Well I'm all but sorry to tell you, this is in fact not one of those stories. I'm betting you could have already guessed that this isn't a happily ever after tale either. I shouldn't have already told you I'm in a cell. Now half of you wont even read this- daunted by the promise of nothing good.
Good riddance. I don't want any do-good lighthearted sissy's reading this anyways.
How do you think this all started?
Oh, I'm betting you've already guessed where this is going too, haven't you?
Heathens.
Fine, if you think you're so smart- just go ahead and tell yourselves the story.
You don't need me.
I'm just a hindrance, aren't I?
No?
Good.
Because I promise you, this is a story unlike anything you have ever heard.
No Granger Potter love child or beautiful American transfer to speak of.
I don't mean to call Americans ugly.
Or to imply Hermione can't have children.
Although, there will be plenty of secret societies, lovers quarrels, and significant lapses in time at any given moment. I don't have the best memory after all.
I suppose we should begin, you've earned it after all.
A day past September.
"Laney Drew." Harry breathed slowly. Then chuckled to him self as he continued flipping though the channels.
He sported a half smile, a grin that would drive any girl mad- most famous man alive or not. Fate was entirely fair to Mr. Potter. He was handsome, wealthy, kind, and giving. Everything everyone had expected and hoped for him to be.
That said, it was no surprise he would have fallen from the public eye almost entirely if it wasn't for a series of seemingly Alfred Hitchcock inspired events.
First it was just the rumors and speculation. After all, no one is much of a saint.
His cousin, Dudley, you know the one- was murdered. Good riddance and thank you say the ones who know him. However, those who didn't suspected it to be a publicity stunt to help sell the memoirs Harry was inevitably going to write.
A bit of a reach, if I don't say so myself.
Considering, it's been a few years- and a book has yet to surface. And what with the very short attention span of any large group of people collectively thinking and purchasing as one- by now if it came out…no one would buy it. (After all, Anna Nicole's first-born just died- I'm sure his book will be hitting the shelves in November.)
However, then he was offered the position of Minister of Magic. Once again, to those who know him- it didn't need to be pointed out that his long time best friend Ronald had been gunning for the position for a good 6 years before the old hag who had it showed some good sense and died. No offense to her family, I'm sure she was lovely. However, to an outsider it looked like this Prince of Wizards was trying to distance himself from his own world.
A lot of people would have defended Harry and stood up for him if he was ever accused of such a thing, until his wife, Luna, killed herself. I'm not implying that anyone thinks Harry killed her- I'm just pointing out that from that moment on…he did distance himself.
As much as any man could.
He took a job at first as an Ambassador for the Wizarding world. Although he still had everything to do with his old life, he wasn't surrounded by it anymore. He spent a majority of his time in America.
Then he quit, pretty much out of nowhere. There weren't any warnings. After the fact it came out in the press that he himself had been feeling very depressed and needed to let go entirely if he wanted to escape with his life.
That wasn't it though. People didn't really know Harry anymore; he was hard to get a hold of. Those who were once very close to him, now seldom spoke of or with him. They couldn't help but wonder; neither could the rest of us.
You might be hoping that was it for him- but it wasn't. So much was still happening.
He got an invitation in the mail to the wedding of Draco Malfoy and Ginny Weasley. It was to be expected. As was the staggering six invitations to christenings of the Hermione/ Ron children.
Harry made an appearance at each and every event. Dutifully, nothing less and nothing more.
Then one day past September, Harry got a letter in the mail. No return address.
Inside was a newspaper clipping.
The headline nearly ripped his heart out.
Malfoy Manor devastated, Mistress dead.
Of course the story would delve into facts about her apparent suicide. They would rattle off sign after sign that it was inevitable she would have taken her own life. They would have countless quotes of neighbors and acquaintances- all recalling quite suddenly that she had started to give away personal items or that for quite some time she had seemed withdrawn.
Harry need not read the story to know exactly what it would say.
The same story had been printed years earlier about his own wife.
"Good evening, this is Banister Television, please hold." The woman behind the front desk chimed the same phrase over and over- more times then he could count.
Quite suddenly she had raised her voice, "Sir, how can I help you?" she asked again, her unpleasant tone making her annoyance with him quite apparent.
Harry cleared his throat, "The floor for Mrs. Drew, please?" he asked quietly, like an apprehensive child.
She flicked one long finger in the direction of the elevator and said, "26th."
There was a momentary pause where the woman looked at him almost like she knew him, but then the chiming and ringing flowed back into motion and she seemed to have forgotten all about him,
He thought better of thanking her, instead turning on his heel and heading exactly where she had pointed him too.
He hadn't seen Laney since the year they graduated from school.
She wasn't like all the other girls he dated. She wasn't a transfer student, aspiring model, or voted most beautiful. In fact, he met her a few months into his relationship with Hermione.
In all the years since- he didn't know if he hated her or just needed to thank her. She had come into his life like a bat out of hell. She turned everything upside down and rattled him senseless. She had used him for her own benefit, not the first in theory- but the first to get away with it. The first girl, as far as Ron was concerned, not to fall for him.
In the 10 minutes it took him to get from the lobby up to her office he felt out of breath and shaken. He had relived almost instantaneously everything she had done to him that year- and he couldn't get enough of it.
It was true; he had loved his wife very much. Luna was wonderful, everything he needed. But at night when he was falling asleep beside her, he was still left wanting for something. Something he couldn't quite describe until now.
He wanted that one thing he could never have.
He was Harry Potter! A millionaire, a suave sophisticated man- with power, ambition, good looks, and charm. He knew who he was- he was so passionate and driven- everyone loved him.
Everyone wanted to be his colleague, friend, he even heard of fights between pizza deliverymen.
But even with all of this he was left with one thing he could not conquer- lust.
The instinct to be driven towards exactly what we cannot have. Maybe for the thrill of the chase, who really knows?
He was standing in front of her door now, ignoring her secretary as she screeched about not intruding on her.
Gripping the copper handle on the door, his heart was racing. What he wouldn't give to take it all back and have one last chance.
But it wasn't just for him. The woman he loved would be spared, as would Ron's sister.
"Laney I-" Harry's voice fell short as he saw her.
She was unbelievable, still to this day- a beauty beyond any mans full perception.
"Harry fucking Potter!" she declared, every ounce of enthusiasm and joy in the world seemingly radiating from her at that very moment.
Her attitude had always been crude- the do what you want say as you think live as you please type.
He smiled, that maddening grin back in full force.
"Well please- come in, come in!" she beckoned for him, smiling back at him pleasantly. "Excuse me Harriet- I've got an appointment that just walked in." she said- then hit a small blue button on her cell phone, pulled out her ear piece, and threw them down on the table without a second thought.
She sat with her hands up on her desk, clasped together. Her brown hair was so dark- like chocolate. She had porcelain skin, every freckle across the bridge of her nose as he remembered them. Her deep blue eyes gazed at him with apprehension through ivory rectangle glasses.
"I see you're living in the Muggle world as well then?" Harry asked suddenly, having caught himself from getting lost in his thoughts again.
"Well, its an unfair advantage to have our gifts- so I thought I should see what I'm really capable of." She replied coolly, her posture perfect, making her appear much more confident.
Harry spied no ring on her finger, "Why do you go by Mrs.?" He asked curiously.
"I am married to my job." She said quietly, no longer looking at him- having taken interest in a piece of paper on her desk instead. "I assume this unexpected visit must be fairly important to you- last I heard you weren't living in Boston."
"I saw you on the news…" Harry trailed off for a moment. "Ginny died." He said suddenly, his tone flat- void of all feeling.
Laney slowly lifted her gaze to meet his again. "Oh Harry, I'm so sorry. I know how fond you were of her."
Harry shook his head, "No, never mind that. I came to ask you a question." He said stiffly.
"Well?" she asked slowly, once more apprehensive.
"Why not me?"
For a long while Laney Drew sat in silence, her hands still clasped.
Then she relaxed and sat back in her chair, her gaze pleading with him.
"Harry, after all this time. You still don't know?" she asked quietly.
He shook his head; he had always suspected numerous things- but never had any answers. This was his last chance.
"You know when you were younger- the first few times you had a crush on someone? Where you got butterflies and sweaty palms, lost your thoughts…or tripped on nothing?" she asked, "Well, that only happens before you fall in love- when everything is new and endless possibilities are right there in front of you- just out of reach. But then one day the right boy comes along and takes every possibility but two away from you." She paused and put her hands in her lap. "From then on you are either together, or not. And that's it- that's all you get- every relationship from then on comes down to that simple fact."
She cleared her throat and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her desk.
"Then something happens and suddenly- you feel those butterflies again and every possibility comes back to you. That's because before- you loved a boy. You loved him very much and would have done anything for him- but it couldn't work out, because you weren't in love with him."
She sighed, "I believe everyone gets two chances. Two loves. They might come along in a different order- I don't know. But not everyone sees it- some of us will settle for the first boy who loved us, but didn't set our hearts on fire. I think that's fair, not to want to risk something like that for something else you cant even be sure you will have."
Harry interjected, "But I thought you just said you believe everyone gets two chances?"
"I also think that two people have a moment- where their love can either catch fire or…just settle, maybe die out completely." Laney replied solemnly.
"You're saying those two people we get- the two loves- are the same?" he asked, clearly bewildered.
"Not the same. Maybe the same person- but in theory they would be very different from one another. We are constantly changing, Harry. It is up to us- when two lovers change, are they both willing to risk everything? More often then not, I bet you would find that one heart is ready before the other."
An uncomfortable silence fell over them. The sun was cascading into the room from the window behind her desk, the light falling over her and gracing her features beautifully.
"What was our moment?" Harry asked.
Laney knew very well that Harry had been married and lost his wife, since the moment he first started asking questions she half suspected he was having some sort of mental breakdown. But what else could she do except tell him what he deserved to know?
"I've thought about it before." She replied quietly, making sure to sound passive. "But I don't know. I like to think it was when you introduced me to Luna, but it could have also been when Draco walked in on us- or when you walked in on Draco and I." She sighed again, seeming much more exhausted now then she had been when he had first seen her. "I don't know Harry, I really just don't know."
He nodded, "But if you could go back…?"
It was an open ended question, she knew better then to answer.
But she couldn't help herself.
"I wouldn't know what to change first."