Chapter two
Twilight was now approaching them. No matter how much, Jarod ranted and raved at her, Parker wasn't going to leave her one true friend. The one that she had come too trust years ago. She was going to be there for him as he had been there for her in her darkness moments.
In the beginning the therapy sessions between Jarod and Sydney, were going well or so everyone thought. Parker stands a short distance away from where; Shelby had been laid to rest. Her eyes brim with tears watching the 'pretender' crisscross his arms over his chest, his hands grip his shoulder so tightly that his knuckles are turning white, and his body begins to quiver.
Jarod was beyond exhausted. He was on the brink of madness, consumed with a guilty conscience over what he thought was his fault. It wasn't, she strongly believed, letting the tears stream down her face in the mist of Jarod dropping to his knees before her headstone.
He cleared his throat. "Please leave me be, Parker!" He hissed with clinched teeth.
His eyes rest upon her headstone, his face scrunches up, and his throat constricts, while his eyes cloud over with tears.
"I can't do that because I want to be here for you, Jarod, as you were for me." Parker replies to his backside.
He turns his head to his right. "FYI. You were never there for me in the past! So, don't you dare try and be here for me now!" His voice dark, his words razor-sharp they pierce her heart.
Granted she was never there for him, couldn't be because of 'The Centre'. She bites down on her bottom lip and elected not to speak her mind.
Parker watched her 'childhood friend, his breath cloaked with silent sobs, shoulders quacking in misery, he so angry at, The Centre, the Parker family, the world, perhaps even his family, and himself included.
She kneels by his side, places her index finger under his chin and turns his head to hers. "Do you remember what you said to me when we were at Ocee's?"
His face to hers, but his eyes were on the one that had flown away in the arms of an angel.
Parker edges closer to Jarod. "You said, "Let the storm raged on the outside, Ms. Parker, not on the inside." Parker cradles his head in her hands.
She felt his jawbones flinch, pain radiated from his eyes, and it seeped from the pores of his skin, he so plagued with misery over the death of Shelby.
"Rant and rave, do whatever you must do to let go of the pain that rage in your heart. Put the blame where it truly lies on me, Lyle, that stupid bet of ours. Not on yourself, Jarod."
"I -- after our return from Scotland I realized that you and I would never have something more in our lives. That maybe it was supposed to be that way where you and I were concerned and I put a period at the end of us. I'm sorry if what I'm about to say hurts you, Parker, but I wanted someone in my life to love and cherish as you did with Thomas." Jarod let his smile come to his face.
"Tell me your thoughts?" To be the one to be there for him was what Parker wanted.
Jarod brought his hands to his face and wiped his tears away. "I drove around in circles for months in search of a place where I could feel safe and secure. And as I continued to search for that place I thought back to the women that I had had the pleasure of being with for a few hours, a few days, which I will always think of them with pleasure. I hate to say this, Parker, but I was never in love with any of them, not even Zoë, they were nothing more than a warm body for me to cuddle up with during those cold lonely nights when I needed someone to whisper sweet nothings into my ears."
Jarod rose to a standing position, walks a short distance away, he breathes in deeply and slowly exhales as his hands rakes through his hair. "I had no intentions of staying here for more than a day or two. But I was fatigued from driving all night so I pulled into the first motel that I came to, got a room, and tried to sleep but I couldn't so, I decided to take a walk on the beach hoping that the sounds of the ocean would help me to relax."
Parker came to his side and took his right hand into hers. "And that is when you had the pleasure of meeting Shelby."
Jarod turns his head away from Parker's, his bottom lip trembles. "Not the usual way when you are introduce to someone." He lightly chuckles thinking back to that morning just after dawn.
"What?"
"I was walking around the beach, came to a stop when I stepped on a starfish and had lean over to pick it up then out of the blue, bam someone knocked my ass into the water, deep enough that I had to hold my breath, my eyes begin to sting, and there was the cutest little thing setting on me with her left hand pressed against my chest and in the other hand was a football." Jarod let a snicker escape.
Once again he crossed his aching arms over his chest and tears flowed down his distorted face filled with so much pain for what had happened.
Parker steps forward with open arms she embraces, Jarod, together they weep. "Let it out, Jarod. Let all the pain out." Her right hand gently rubs along his trembling back.
Jarod had been down this path so many times during his theory sessions with, Sydney. But it didn't help.
"Shelby never asked anything of me. But when I told her that I had come to love her more than I did you. Shelby showed me the love that she had come to have for me…as I had hoped for. " He confessed to Parker, his 'huntress' of many years, his grin she couldn't see.
Parker gently rubs the back of his head, crying for the one that she was consoling in her arms as she had done with, Sydney, when, Jacob, passed away.
"I love her so much, and miss her, and I want Shelby back in my life." He shallows hard as he inhales weeping on Parker's right shoulder. His arms wrap tightly around her waist.
"I know, Jarod" Parker eased him back and cupped his wet face in her hands, her eyes locked on chocolate orbs saturated with tears. "You mustn't continue to blame yourself because it wasn't your fault. You hear me, Jarod? You…"
Parker instantly froze in her tracks, "click" the sound all too familiar to her. Jarod had seized her smith and Wesson from its holster that rested against the small of her back.
She pleads with her eyes, but, Jarod's head slips from her hands and he takes two steps back away from her.
He places the barrel of the weapon against his right temple.
"Jarod?" she calls out to him. "Please give me the weapon." She takes a small step towards him. "If you do this, I guarantee you Broots, Debbie, Sydney or I will never you forgive for killing yourself. We'll feed pieces of your body to the sharks like fish bait. I understand your grief, the pain that you're experiencing, because I went through the same thing when, Mama and Thomas died."
Jarod lightly chuckles, " It's all because of you, your ancestors, The Centre, those damn scrolls, the secrets and lies, my family, their wishes to conceive me, and for that Shelby now lays cold in her grave!" he growls back at her.
Parker watches his finger tighten around the trigger, slowly squeezing the trigger inward. "You are absolutely right, we are to blame. But you aren't too blame, Jarod. You loved Shelby, your wants were to protect her, keep her safe, until you could go to her. You only did what you thought was the best for everyone at that time in your life."
"The Best for everyone! The best for everyone!" He recited to her. "I said horrible things that should have never been said! I pretended that Shelby meant nothing to me, just another whore for me to bed down with, said, "Don't love you. Never have!" he stare angrily at Parker. "And as I looked at the one that I come to love stand there before me and bite down on her bottom lip to keep from crying. I continued to rant and rave and laugh, and belittle, and scream at, Shelby. And what did she do?" He paused for a moment. "Nothing! She just stood there after I slapped her for the things that she said about you, which were true, I might add -- and, then she slowly turned away from me and walked out of our home, and down the steps. Never said another word, just left and I did nothing to stop her! I DID NOTHING!" he free finger pointing at the ground.
Parker once more moves closer to him, what a time for her mind to go blank! She thought to herself, she lifts her hand up to him, palm up, "Jarod, please we can help you get through this pain, I promise. Please, give me the weapon, please?"
"I. Want. To. Be. With. Shelby." his finally words to be said and squeezed the trigger.
"Nooo."
TBC