Josh was standing with his ass in the air to the door while Will looked on helplessly when all of a sudden it opened and popped him in the butt.
"Who the hell are you two?" A big black nurse entered the room and immediately both men stood up straighter, although Josh's backside was shouting in pain, and both attempted to answer.
"I'm just a friend" came Will's response while at the same time Josh fumbled for something to say. His garbled answer sounded something like "I'm her boss, old boss, we were friends."
It was so incoherent, not to mentionstated at the same time Will made his declaration so that the nurse felt compelled to ask him to repeat it.
"What did you say child?"
Josh felt odd being referred to in this manner and looked around the room to see if perhaps a child had indeed entered with the nurse. When he turned back around to face her she was watching him expectantly and didn't appear as if she was going to wait for an answer much longer. "I am a friend?"
His answer sounded more like a question but she let it go and continued to eyeball them both suspiciously. "Well which one of you two is going to help me change this poopy diaper your little girl has put out?"
Josh had been so distracted that he hadn't even noticed the nurse was caring Ava in her arms. He stared intently at the baby and felt his heart warm immediately to the girl.
The lack of response from either man was obviously getting to the nurse. "NOW you two ain't involved in one of those ridiculous paternity battles with this young blondey now are you? I swear! I been practicing nursing for 44 years and it is ALWAYS somebody coming in here with two man friends and months later I see 'em on some show fighting it out over "who's the daddy?"! They spend all this money on some fancy-smancy test when I could've told 'em right when I spotted 'em who's the daddy!"
This shouting broke Josh from his trance and he focused on the nurse for the first time since she began her rant. Will had simply been too dumbfounded to respond and now stood by as a victim of her assumptions.
"Like in this case right here" the woman paused for what might seem like dramatic effect as she studied the baby and both men in the room. "You the Daddy." The women turned toward Josh and pointed a fat finger right towards his chest.
"How" Josh cleared his throat stunned at the past few seconds and the trauma of hearing someone say this out loud. "How do you know?"
"Oh, there is no question!" The nurse exclaimed with convincing certainty. Will looked concerned and watched as Josh huddled over the baby and heard the nurse point out different parts of her anatomy that she could identify with Josh.
"You see these little curls in the back of her neck?" The nurse lifted up the delicate light brown curls that clung to Ava's skin. She then reached up and fingered the hair on the back of Josh's neck, "They come from right here." Josh's own hand followed hers and fingered his curls.
She then moved on to the ears that without a doubt had the same crooks and curves as Josh's own. She held up Josh's hand and showed him how his thumb was the same as Ava's as she stated:"Now mind you the fingers will look like her Mama's but the thumb? The thumb is always from the Daddy." The women spoke with such confidence and assurance that neither Will nor Josh suggested for even a second that the baby's thumb just looked like a thumb and the ear like an ear.
"I've saved the best part for last." The nurse's voice took on a whisper as if she were telling a secret. "Watch closely" she ordered as she moved the blanket from around Ava's neck and blew softly on her exposed skin. "You see that?" she asked as the baby squirmed in her arms. "You see that in her cheek?" Both men stared blankly first at Ava and then at the nurse. Exasperated she said "Now I am only going to do this one more time and you watch that cheek!" For a second time she blew gently onto Ava's neck and with a bit of astonishment and excitement in his voice Will stated: "A Dimple!"
"A dimple." Josh repeated the word in a hushed whisper and as he did tears poured over his cheeks and he looked at who he was now totally convinced was his little girl.
"I guess that means you have diaper duty." The nurse had in one split second gone back to her no nonsense routine and followed up with the comment that "All those damn TV shows don't know NOTHING about finding no Daddies."
She took Josh over to a crib in the room and led him through what he was convinced was the worst thing he had ever been involved in. "Is this tar?" he asked horrified at what the precious little girl had apparently emitted in her diaper.
"No, that is normal, she is likely to have one more just like it." The nurse's tone was one of brutal honesty.
"Well, lets hope Donna is awake for that one." Josh was trying to charm her seeing as how she was really doing most of the work and he wanted that trend to continue.
"Who?" The nurse asked disinterested. "Oh, you mean the Mommy?"
At hearing this title used to describe Donna, Josh went a little weak in the knees. He braced himself on the side of the plastic crib and shook his head.
"You going to be alright?" The nurse seemed to be at least partially, genuinely concerned.
Josh never got the chance to answer because Will was shouting from the bed,
"Um, guys, I think she is starting to wake up."