Turn on the Light

by Sulhadahne

The Dark is so scary... but didn't anyone tell you that if you're afraid of the Dark, all you have to do is turn on the Light? [Xemnas Centric songfic]

"There are all kinds of feelings. Don't you remember?"

"Unfortunately - I don't."

Xemnas

we are not together here

though we lie entwined

There was light everywhere, and he was running. Running away, away from something. All of a sudden, he wasn't in his body, and he turned to see himself running, a child version of him running from an enormous shadow, overbearing, and powerful.

The shadow fell and began to flow across the earth, chasing after this phantom of a boy. He could only watch his child self fade away. When it faded, so did he and he faded into a new memory…

to make room for the other presence

we both draw back in our minds

Lord Ansem?" A young Xehanort asked. The older man looked down to the young apprentice with love. "Sir… may I ask you something?"

The older man chuckled. "You've already asked me, but you may ask another." Xehanort nodded.

"What… if the physical heartbeat keeps the body alive, what does the emotional heartbeat do? What is it?"

Ansem smiled. "A fine question. Many different people could see it as many different things, but perhaps…"

"Perhaps emotions have a heart that dances to the beat of the soul." Xehanort thought it over as Ansem looked over his bookshelves.

I think…" Xehanort began quietly as he strode to the door to leave. "The emotional heart beats like the sun and moon. Feeling happy, feeling sad… feeling anger, feeling pride… shifts like night and day."

I have a prophecy

threatening to spill into words

He was running; this time, he was older, a young teenager running from an invisible enemy. There was night all over now. Just ahead, it was there; the door to darkness, an intimidating stain on the horizon.

Xehanort was running right towards it. Xemnas tried to warn his younger self, but to no avail.

this growing certainty

of Over

"So, what do you want to do today?" The boy asked. He had dark black hair around his hard complexion, and was tossing a baseball into the air, and then catching it, and repeating the process.

"Lessons are over for now." Xehanort told him. "We could go see what the others are planning." The boy, Braig, laughed.

"Even's probably playing mad scientist, and I bet Izeno and Elaeus were dragged into it somehow. Who knows where Dilan is." Xehanort smiled slightly.

Catching the look, Braig grinned.

"Finally." He teased. "I was wondering how long it would take you to crack." Xehanort's smile grew wide as he chuckled.

"Well, keep it silent, Braig." Xehanort demanded playfully. "What would happen to my reputation if people knew I had a heart?" Braig gasped in mock surprise and the two cracked up.

there once was a time I was sure of the bond

when my hands and my tongue and my thoughts were enough

we are the same but our lives move along

and the third one between replaces what once was love

"We found him outside." The hooded man told him, Xemnas, high on the throne. Below him was a blonde boy, unconscious and in pain, groaning sadly.

"Sora… who is Sora…" The blonde muttered to himself in his nightmares. Xemnas' brow furrowed.

Leaping down, Xemnas bent down to the boy's level.

"He's one of us." Xemnas declared. "And he'll be known as Roxas."

The hooded man's eyes grew wide. "You don't think… he's?" Xemnas nodded.

Roxas groaned, stirring, and sat up, surprised at where he was. Fear and confusion clouded his sky blue orbs, as he looked up to Xemnas.

"Axel!" Xemnas cried. The red head appeared in the room. "Take the boy Roxas. Show him his new home." Scowling, Axel took Roxas by the elbow and led him out."

"Why do I always get the boring jobs?" Axel muttered.

If freedom is being alone

He was running up a spiral staircase. It was familiar to him; it was from the World that Never Was. He was running from him, the key keeper, Sora. But all of a sudden, Sora turned into Anti Sora, and he ran even harder.

I fear liberation

but something more alive than silence

swallows conversation

"He's… dead, sir." Xigbar faltered and covered his falter with a sigh. "Xaldin's dead."

Xemnas looked down to the Proof of Existence, his eyes falling on Xaldin's newly red tombstone. With a downcast sigh, Xemnas turned to Xigbar.

"Send Luxord out on his mission. And tell Saix to find the girl, soon." Xigbar turned away and smiled sadly.

"So you'll keep using us, until there's no one left to use." Xigbar let out a sigh and his sad smile turned into a sad grin. "I will fight for you until my day to die for you comes."

Xemnas watched Xigbar leave and he felt the young boy Xehanort in him calling out to the child Braig.

no pleasing drama

in subtle averted eyes

He ran past everything until nothing was left. He was in the Dark City; Xemnas shut the door behind him and shut his eyes, weary.

Suddenly, he was in a classroom, a bland classroom full of bland students; except that the students were those of his Organization and those that opposed him, like Riku and Sora.

Laughing began, loud, taunting laughter; Xemnas realized he was just a boy again, and he was stark naked. Blushing, he made to cover himself, but with what?

From the doorway, Namine walked in, and as soon as she did, the world evaporated and he had clothing again, but he was still a child, and he was wearing his adult cloak. His child self was drowning in it; the boy Xehanort was drowning in the man Xemnas.

the swelling fermata

"KINGDOM HEARTS!"

as the chord dies

"Send the girl to Castle Oblivion. Marluxia is lord there and is to take care of her." Xemnas ordered. Vexen bowed and turned, leaving without a word.

Deep in his mind, Xemnas thought back. It was today; this was the day that, back on Radiant Garden, the six would have celebrated Even's birthday, embarrassing him to no return.

But Vexen didn't even remember, most likely.

there once was a time I was sure of the bond

when my hands and my tongue and my thoughts were enough

we are the same but our lives move along

and the third one between replaces what once was love

"Take him to the hospital wing, now!"

Where was he…? How were all these voices? What was going on?

"His heartbeat is unstable, it's faltering!"

"I need morphine!"

"Doctor! Doctor!"

"Move! I'm coming through!"

Who was he? A name came to mind, but nothing else. A name… Xehanort.

"Lord Ansem!"

"Move! I must help the boy!"

there's no denying we feel the third one

"Namine?" Xemnas asked. The blonde looked him over. With a slick, evil smile, she taunted him.

His baggy eyes, his drained expression, the cuts all over his childish body, his heavy breathing, the fear and confusion in his eyes;

"You look like shit, Xemnas."

we do

"May I end this charade?"

"Indeed."

I'm tired of hiding and so are you

Xemnas was his normal self again, not a child. But he was falling… falling into the sky… and HE was watching… Ansem, the other dark half of Xehanort, watching Xemnas fall into a bloody, darkening sky with a cackle and a smirk on his lips.

As he fell, Xemnas watched Ansem the Destroyer of Worlds fade into DiZ, and DiZ fade into Ansem the Wise.

With that, he fell.

there once was a time I was sure of the bond

when my hands and my tongue and my thoughts were enough

we are the same but our lives move along

and the third one between replaces what once was love

Xemnas?

Falling… falling into darkness…

Xemnas?

Fading away…

Come back, Xemnas!

He awoke with a start in bed, sweat soaked and breathing heavily. He wasn't sure were he was or what was going on; searching the room, Xemnas saw Namine sitting on a bland stool by the doorway.

"You look like shit." She repeated. Xemnas blinked, and she was gone. The door burst open, and people rushed in, concerned. He didn't feel it; he was lost in thought.

He was like shit… a jumble of every emotion, so lost and confused… he had a heart now, a second chance, and so did everyone else, but the only one that hadn't moved on was him.

"Xemnas?" Xigbar asked, shaking his friend's shoulder. "Nightmares again? Damn, somebody hates you." He joked. Xemnas attempted to smile. "Come on let's go eat breakfast or something. Waffle house is having some kind of special…" Xemnas stood and approached his closet wearily, readying to change into his pajamas.

Suddenly, his closet turned into a hallway, and up that hallway was a staircase, and beyond that, something far away.

"Run, Xemnas!" Xigbar cried. Sora charged through the doorway.

And so it continued each dream like the next. Running… failing… falling… remembering… and running… and falling… and running…

Namine appeared in his mind's eye as he ran away from everything, unsure if he would ever wake up again.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you that if you're afraid of the dark, then turn on the light?" She asked.

And all of a sudden, the light came on.